Goku Goes To College: Part One
Goku awoke with a large yawn. It was another beautiful day out in the mountains and he was enjoying his life as a man once again amongst the living. Just a few years earlier he, alongside Vegeta, defeated the pure form of the maniacal Majin Buu and, thanks to the sacrifice of the Elder Kai, is alive and well. He walked into the kitchen and noticed that brekfast was already prepared. Sadly, his sons weren't up yet so he couldn't have any. That never stopped him from trying though. Noticing his wife Chi Chi's back was turned he got down on his belly and began slithering towards the table.
"Hey mom. Brekfast ready?" A voice asked.
It was Goten. Goku quickly slithered under the table and waited for an opportunity to escape.
"Good morning dear. Breakfast's ready but I'm still waiting for your brother and father." Chi Chi replied.
Goku smiled. He knew Goten would go wake Gohan up and he'd be able to escape but he suddenly heard another voice enter the room.
"I'm up."
It was his oldest son Gohan. Recently graduated from high school and awaiting confirmation from Satan City College. Goku suddenly gulped as his sons sat down at the table he was under.
"Goku!" Chi Chi screamed. "Wake up! We're all ready to eat."
They waited but got no answer.
"Fine we're starting without you!"
Goku held in tears as his family began to eat.
"Hey Gohan can you pass me some more bacon?"
"Here you go."
"Thanks."
A few crunches later and all the bacon was gone. Then a few chugs later the orange juice was gone. Then gone were the eggs and sausage as Goku tried not to whimper.
"Anybody want some salad?"
Goten began to laugh. "Mom, salad isn't for breakfast!"
"Well I'm sorry Goten but the coupons for the 'Salad Are Us' your grandfather gave us expired today and I needed to use them. Would you like some Gohan?"
"Nah. That's okay."
"Fine! I guess I'm the only one here interested in eating healthy!"
The sound of the toaster was heard and Goku noticed Goten getting up and walking over. Goten grabbed his toast and sat back down.
"Aw man!" He whined. "This plate's wet. I hate wet toast! Who wants it?"
"I do!"
"Okay talking table."
They continued eating for a few seconds then paused.
"Talking table?" Gohan asked looking under the table.
"Hi son." Goku said with a wave.
"Um, hey dad. What are you doing under the table?"
"I'm, uh, retiling the floor."
Goten's head suddenly poked under the table. "Dad, our floor is hard wood."
Goku looked down and scratched his head. "So it is."
Chi Chi sighed. "Goku, were you trying to sneak food again?"
"Yes, Chi Chi."
"Well stop!" She shouted causing Goku to hop up in fear sending the table flying across the room.
"Ooops."
"Goku! Look at what you've done!" Chi Chi screamed pointing to the chairs on the roof, food on the windows and table on the wall.
Gohan began to slink out of the room as the table fell to reveal Goten stuck in the wall, eating his toast.
"Mmmmmm, crunchy."
-
Later that afternoon Gohan had left to visit his girlfriend Videl while Chi Chi and Goten went table shopping. Goku on the other hand was stuck in the house, not allowed to leave the house unless he had expressed, written permission. He sighed and sat in a nearby chair, turning on the T.V. to Z-News.
"...and when asked for a comment the owner of FOX simply replied 'We have the rights to that movie? Wow. We'd better get to work.' once again provoking hardcore fans to send letter bombs and Spam message boards in anger."
Goku began channel surfing looking for something to watch but after seeing twenty channels of soap operas got up and began walking around the room.
"Man, I'm bored." He said to himself he put his fingers to his forehead to transmit himself to Capsule Corp when he suddenly remember what Chi Chi told him.
"What if I'm quick though?" He asked himself. "Well, I don't want to be stuck in here all day so it's worth a shot. It's not like something in writing is just going to show up at my door telling me to leave."
He was about to transmit himself when something came through his mail slot. He looked down and noticed it was an envelope. He looked at the label which clearly read "To Son, G" and opened it up. In big bold letters it read "Congratulations! You've been excepted into Satan City College. Please leave your house and come to the S double C welcome centre as soon as you finish reading this letter. Signed, Dean Clicheman." Goku smiled. This was his ticket out. He wasn't sure how he was excepted into a college but there it was, clear as day. "To Son, G". Goku ran out the door and took off towards Satan City to start his new life as a student.
-
Before heading to SCC's welcome centre though he decided to stop by West City and the Capsule Corp HQ. Walking in he noticed Bulma sitting on the couch flipping through the channels.
"Seven hundred channels of nothin'." She sighed looking over to see Goku. "Oh hey Goku!"
"Hey Bulma." He said. "Have you seen Vegeta anywhere?"
She pointed towards a door with a sign that read 'Vegeta's Room: For The Love Of God Don't Enter' she had made to avoid injuries to her staff and Goku smiled opening the door. To see Vegeta sitting down, eyes glued to the T.V.
"Today on the Maury Pauvich show we take a look at...awww who cares?"
"Hey Vegeta!" Goku shouted causing the Saiyan prince to turn around in shock. Vegeta quickly turned off the T.V. and glared at Goku.
"What the hell do you want?" Vegeta demanded clutching his fists in anger.
"I just wanted to say I was excepted into Satan City College!" He replied showing Vegeta the letter. "Well I've gotta go. See ya."
"Um, Kakarot." Vegeta said only to be cut off.
"I can't talk now Vegeta. I've got a class to learn!" Goku shouted flying off towards Satan City.
"Ugh, what an idiot. He's got some serious mental problems." Vegeta sighed turning back on the T.V.
-
As Goku was flying towards SCC Gohan, Videl, Chi Chi and Goten were walking into the Son home. Gohan and Videl had ran into Goten and Chi Chi at the mall and "volunteered" (um, were forced) to come back home with them and help put together the table. They opened the box and as Goten and Videl were pulling everything out Gohan was looking at the directions.
"Where's the English directions?" Gohan asked.
"What do you mean? We pulled everything out and those were the only directions the box had." Videl said.
"Well, the directions are in Japanese." Gohan said. "I can't read Japanese."
"You know come to think of it, neither can I." Videl told him.
"How very odd." Chi Chi said looking in the box as Goten tried to start putting it together only to stop all of a sudden.
"Why does this table have five legs?" He asked.
Gohan shrugged. "Maybe one is for support."
"Then why does it only have four holes in the bottom?" Videl asked. "And why does it have two bottoms?"
The others shrugged as Chi Chi sighed. "Damn Goku. He should be helping us with this. Goku! Get out here!"
They waited a few seconds and when Goku didn't show up Chi Chi got mad. "Fine! Stay in your room! You'll just break this damn table before we finish it anyways and for god sakes Goten stop eating the Styrofoam!"
"Sorry mom."
-
At the SCC campus Goku was being led to his room by one of the teachers. He had switched his gi to a pair of pants, a SCC t-shirt and a SCC hat and was carrying his school books, marvelling at how big the school was.
"We're very excited to have you as a student here. Normally you would have to take an entrance exam but your transcript was so great that we decided to skip it." The teacher exclaimed leading Goku to his room. "Anyways here's your dorm. Your roommate should already be inside."
"Great!" Goku said with a smile opening the door. His eyes suddenly widened in shock. His roommate was no human, but another Saiyan.
"Hey Kakarot!"
"Turles?"
"Yep." The Saiyan said with an uncharacteristic smile on his face. "Bet you didn't see that coming."
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