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Dibby: HIYA! IT'S THE DRUNKIES, BACK AGAIN!
Winky: -----rolls eyes----- Sorry, Dobby is having had too much Firewhiskey again.
Dibby: WOOHOO! ANOTHER CHAPTERED FICCIE!
Winky: For once, Dibby – I mean, Dobby – speaks the truth. This is our second chaptered fic. I is once again apologizing for Dobby's idiocy.
Dobby: -----cross-eyed----- Who is you -----hic----- calling an idiot? I is NOT -----hic----- drunk!
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Chapter One – Essence of Insanity
As James and the other Marauders climbed through the portrait-hole, James led them over to the best spot in the common room: the one where they could see everything and everyone. Or rather, where everything and everyone could see them.
With a quick surveying glance, James could tell that they had the attention of nearly all the girls in the room (Molly Roxhand, the most vehement Marauder fangirl was even wearing an 'I love Sirius' t-shirt). 'Nearly' being the operative word. They had the attention of all the girls except for a certain stubborn redhead and her friends who were talking and laughing amongst themselves as if the Marauders didn't exist.
James turned to Sirius and said loud enough for people to hear, "That was an awesome prank we played on Snivellus, huh?"
Sirius grinned. "Didn't know what hit him! The best part is, it won't wear off for a week!" He let out a bark of laughter, and most people joined in.
"How ever did you do it?" asked Molly breathlessly.
James turned to her and said, "Well, it was a pretty complicated piece of magic, and it did take quite a bit of research. We went through a few beauty-enhancing, girly books and created a few hybrid spells. In the end, Snivellus became a Playwizard bunny exactly, except for his huge nose."
Sirius added, with a grin that made all the girls in the room (except for aforementioned stubborn redhead and co.) swoon, "We got a month's detentions!"
Molly rolled her eyes, but smiled, saying that they were idiots, but very brilliant idiots at that.
Once James realised he'd lost his audience, he slumped back on his armchair. His gaze wandered across the common room resting on a bit of red that was brighter than the rest of the Gryffindor common room. And the Gryffindor common room was quite red.
Funnily enough, this red was visible over the back of a chair. A chair in which a stubborn redhead was sitting. Stubbornly ignoring the fact that she had the rapt attention of a pair of bright hazel eyes. All in all, being very stubborn.
Remus and Sirius noticed the direction of his gaze. Remus rolled his eyes and started to help Peter with their Transfiguration essay. Sirius leaned closer to James and muttered, "Look, mate, why don't you go for it again? Tonight?"
James turned to him, his expression incredulous. "Padfoot – she hates me. She's said no all those other times. Six thousand nine hundred and seventy second time lucky, you think?"
Sirius' face flashed with a bright hope; you could practically see the light-bulb above his head. Then he smirked. "You count how many times Lily turned you down?"
James flushed. "Of course not." He cleared his throat. "Anyway, what was your idea?"
Sirius became serious. Really, we're serious. Well, we're not Sirius, he's Sirius. Anyway, he was as seriously serious as Sirius could seriously become. Serious said very siriusly- Uh-oh, we're getting confused. Sirius said very seriously, "Come with me," and he dragged James up the boys' dormitory stairs into the seventh year boys' dorm.
Once in, he told James to close his eyes and when told to open them, he was seeing floor where Sirius' bed used to be – well, the floor was covered with a range of things.
Dirty socks and clothes, a muddy Quidditch robe – 'So that's where it went,' thought James – Frank Longbottom's toad, a stash of Every Flavour Beans and an assortment of jars and bottles containing different liquids.
"Behold," said Sirius, dramatically gesturing to the collection of jars and bottles, "my potion collection!"
James eyed the glutinous glop in the jars dubiously and asked, "And your plan is…what?"
Sirius' dramatic air deflated and said slowly, picking up a bottle with a liquid that looked like molten gold in it, "Um, hello?" He waved the bottle under James' nose. "Felix Felicis? Lucky potion? Ring any bells?"
James' eyes widened and he backed away. "Padfoot, how long have you had that?"
"Five years," Sirius said cheerfully, pouring some in a glass. "Nicked it off Slughorn in second year. Drink," he added, thrusting the glass under James' nose.
James backed away into the wall. "Nuh-uh," he said fervently. "I'm not trusting anything that's been under your bed for five years."
Sirius tried to force the liquid into James' mouth, but he had clamped his teeth shut. In an instant, Sirius pinched James' nose. James, unable to breathe, opened his mouth. Yes. That's right. He opened his mouth. Sirius promptly poured the potion down James' throat.
After a few seconds, Sirius asked James how he felt. "Completely fine, actually," James replied bemusedly. "See, Padfoot, the stupid potion didn't work anyway!"
Sirius slumped, disappointed. "Oh, well," he muttered stashing the bottle back into his collection.
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The next morning, James woke up to the snoring of the three other boys in the dorm. And he saw something – or rather, someone – that did not belong there.
What was Lily doing in the boys' dorm at six in the morning? She was leaning against his wardrobe. Before James could ask what she was doing there, she said softly, "I love you, James."
He couldn't believe his ears.
He got out of bed at once.
And did a clumsy victory dance.
Which knocked over several heavy items.
Which woke up the other boys.
Grinning, James walked towards Lily. He had waited seven years, after all.
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"Um, Padfoot?"
"Yes, Moony?"
"Why is James snogging his Nimbus?"
"Uh…"
"Moony?"
"Yes, Wormtail?"
"Why is James calling his broomstick 'Lily'?"
"Padfoot…"
"Yes, Moony?" asked Sirius innocently.
"This wouldn't have anything to do with whatever you dragged James up here for, would it?"
"Why, Moony," said Sirius in mock indignation. "I'm hurt! Would I do anything like that to our poor little Prongsie?"
"Yes," replied Remus simply. He sighed. "What did you give him?"
Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "Well…it wasn't supposed to react like that…and, well…"
"What did you give him, Padfoot?" repeated Remus wearily. He added almost to himself, "I thought I kept that stash of Firewhiskey hidden."
"Felix Felicis," said Sirius, then added under his breath, "more like Essence of Insanity if you ask me."
"What's Felix Felicis?" asked Peter blankly. They both ignored him.
Remus suddenly went pale. "Sirius," he asked urgently, "how old is that Felix Felicis?"
Sirius shrugged. "Five years or so," he said nonchalantly. "Should still be good, though."
Remus' face was horrified. "Sirius," he hissed, "do you know what this means? If Felix is allowed to sit for a long period of time, it makes the drinker have surreal and sometimes dangerous hallucinations!"
Sirius sobered slightly, but still protested, "Well, it should wear off in a few hours, and Prongs should be fine-"
He was cut off by and irate Remus who was panicking as he paced furiously around the room. "No, he won't be fine! If the drinker doesn't get the antidote in a week, then they'll DIE! They'll DIE, Padfoot!"
Sirius had gone very pale and even Peter, dim as he was, could tell by looking at the faces of his two panicked friends that something was very, very wrong.
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Dobby: Sorry for the drunkenness at the start, folks, I'm better now.
Winky: Humph. So you apologize to them.
Dobby: I just read over this chapter and realized that it was a product of my alcohol-induced mind and that it's very stoopid.
Winky: …No comment.
Dobby: So, it's up to you, folks! If you like the story, it's staying and I'll continue it…if not-
Winky: As it is a piece of drunken stoopidness-
Dobby: We will be deleting it. Your choice people.
Winky: -----sighs----- What Dobby means is: read and review, folks!
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