He wants me.

He needs me.

Only three hours earlier, Sara had been gazing up at the scattered stars, wishing that someday, Grissom would finally talk to her and tell her that he really wanted her, that he needed her in the exact same way she needed him. At the time, her wish had been nothing but a hopeful dream, one that she'd had for years and years, one that she thought would never, ever come true. Grissom was, after all, a man of order, a carefully tuned system, a machine, an exact science. He was a man of predictable methods, not variables and Sara, with her heart kicking and screaming in frustration, had come to the conclusion that she would never be able to compete with Grissom's carefully controlled lifestyle. But now, after almost three painful hours in the darkness, Sara's only wish was coming true and she was absolutely overwhelmed. Grissom was finally talking to her, frequently stumbling over his words and still avoiding several difficult questions, but talking. And he was doing most of the talking too–out of necessity, of course, but that didn't really matter to Sara. As she listened to Grissom's gentle voice–as she soaked in the words she'd been dreaming about for so long–she knew that everything would be okay. As long as she was in Grissom's arms, she was safe.

It's funny really, Sara thought to herself, feeling light-headed for numerous reasons. I'm out here, lost in the woods, cold and injured–but I've never felt safer. That didn't mean that she wasn't scared. Sara was, in fact, growing more afraid by the minute but Grissom's gentle embrace and his soft, loving words were keeping her calm, giving her strength, giving her everything.

"The–they–they mu–must be look–looking for us by–by now, Griss," Sara said, her breathing even shallower and choppier than it had been just twenty minutes earlier. Sara found that the raspy, broken sound of her voice was really starting to scare her. I'm getting even worse, she silently realized. But it's okay. I'm okay. Grissom's here.

"I'm sure they're on their way now, Sara. Just keep hanging in there, honey. They'll be here." Grissom's voice seemed a little more distant now but Sara found that, if she focused hard enough, she could still keep up with his questions and his revelations.

"Wh–what if–if they look in–in the wrong place–places?" Sara knew it was practically useless to ask that question but it slipped from her lips before she could really think about it. What if they don't get here in time? That question was even more useless. Sara definitely knew the answer to that one. "The–they could head down an–any one of–of these ro–roads."

Grissom's reply was firm. "They won't. They'll find the right one."

Sara gave him a small, weak nod. I'm safe, she told herself again. "Who–who's they any–anyway, Griss?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. The two of them had been referring to their possible rescuers as 'they' but Sara hadn't given it much thought. Who would come? she wondered. Would it be Greg? Catherine, Nick and Warrick? Or the sheriff and his team? Will 'they' think to call an ambulance ahead of time? Maybe 'they' will do the smart thing and look for us in a helicopter right away. But will 'they' be able to see the fire and the flares through the trees?

"I don't know who will come," Grissom told her softly. "But I do know that someone will."

Sara gave him a half-smile. "Any–anyone but Ecklie," she whispered.

Grissom rewarded her smile with a pretty good one of his own. "I don't really want to see him either, Sara," he sighed. "But I don't think we need to worry about that. I'm sure Ecklie is busy and I highly doubt that he'd be the first to figure out that we're missing."

Sara rolled her eyes. "Busy make–making 'for the–the good of the–the lab' speeches, you mean."

Grissom tenderly tucked a loose strand of Sara's hair behind her ear. "That's exactly what I mean."

Sara gazed up at him, letting her eyelids droop a little. "So–" she began, taking a small breath to prepare herself. "While you–you're in the ha–habit of say–saying exact–ly what you mean–Wh–what exactly did–did you mean when you said th–that you didn't know what to–to do about this?" Sara struggled with the words. He's right. I shouldn't be talking. I can barely breathe! But I need to know. "I–I mean I know now that you–you obvious–ly knew, deep down but–"

Grissom gently interrupted her. "Sara, just breathe for a few minutes, okay? Stay quiet."

"I need to–to know, Griss."

Grissom nodded. "Then I'll–" He pressed his lips together in thought and then shrugged his shoulders back, clearly trying to make himself more comfortable. "Then I'll tell you."

Sara mouthed an 'okay' and gratefully, she fell silent, the sound of her painful wheezes replacing her strained voice. I'll listen for now, she resolved. At least until I catch my breath again.

"I, uh, I'm assuming you mean the, uh, the dinner invitation," Grissom began, his eyes hesitantly searching Sara's. She nodded. "Sara, when you asked me to join you for dinner, I panicked."

Yes. Yes you did. Sara blinked rapidly in reply.

"But," Grissom continued. "It wasn't because I didn't want to."

You could have told me that then, Grissom, Sara thought. But the warm feeling in her heart washed away any resentment that lingered there. It doesn't matter now, she reminded herself. We're fixing it. We really are. Sara gave him a soft smile.

"I panicked because–" Grissom brushed his thumb lightly across Sara's lips and his voice became very quiet. "Because I had just figured out that I could lose you."

Sara's eyes filled with another round of hot tears. "The–the lab," she rasped. "The explosion."

Grissom nodded slowly. "Not to mention the incident that followed."

Sara winced. The suspect. My gun. I was stupid. I thought I was indestructible. Sara remembered that incident well. She had gotten way ahead of herself–and Brass–and she had ended up holding a suspect at gunpoint. I was lucky. Grissom told me that. I knew that. A tear trickled down Sara's cheek when she realized what Grissom was saying. He was worried that he would lose me–not just his CSI–me.

Grissom's eyes closed for a moment. "That night–I, uh, I said no for a dozen reasons, Sara," he whispered. "But there were so many more reasons to say yes." His eyes fluttered open again. "I was just being cautious," he admitted. "I was–I was scared."

"So–so was I," Sara whispered back.

"I couldn't stand the thought of hurting you," Grissom continued, giving her shoulders a very light but comforting squeeze. "Saying yes would have thrust me into uncharted territory without a map." He let out a small, tense chuckle. "I would have been lost–more than we are now. And I, uh, I had no idea how I would act around you in that sort of situation. I was, uh, I was afraid that I would hurt you somehow and that I'd lose you and I wouldn't know why."

Sara's heart melted. Grissom was finally pouring his heart out to her and the truth was beautiful and shocking. She listened, her eyes wide and her heart thumping wildly, as Grissom told her about Otosclerosis, explaining that his hearing condition was one of the reasons why he had declined her dinner invitation. Sara listened, concerned. Everything makes sense now, she thought, thinking back on the past few years. She stared up into Grissom's eyes, seeing both guilt and innocence in them, and she immediately wondered if it was humanly possible to love him any more than she already did. It's possible, Sara realized, content and amazed. I've never been more in love with him than I am right now, right at this very moment.

Grissom sighed. "But in the past few months," he said, his voice low and husky. "I've started to realize that in trying to protect myself and in trying to protect you from me, I've ended up hurting you even more."

But you're not hurting me now, Sara silently told him, a tearful smile on her face.

Grissom ran his fingertips along Sara's jaw, his touch soft and delicate. "Sara, when you–" His fingers stopped for a moment, his hand clenching nervously. Then they continued–and so did his voice. "When you told me about your family, I, um, I became confused–even more than I was, if that's possible."

Sara smiled weakly, giving him a little nod. I think it's possible, Griss. Everything is possible.

Grissom didn't smile, his expression remaining soft but serious. "I'm glad you told me. I wanted to help you and it meant the world to me, Sara," he told her quietly. "The fact that you trusted me with your secret meant absolutely everything to me."

Sara took a calming breath before speaking. "You–you're the on–ly one I–I would ever trust with it, Griss–Grissom," she gasped out. "I did–n't think it–it would confuse you."

Grissom shook his head softly. "It's not that at all. I just–I started to think that maybe–"

Come on, Grissom, Sara silently urged. You're doing so well. Keep talking. I need to hear it. I need to hear it all.

"I started to think that maybe you didn't think of me in the way I wanted you to."

Sara sighed. "I–I know what you mean." I felt the exact same way!

Grissom's eyes began to wander, avoiding Sara's gaze. "You grew up without your parents, Sara," he said softly, uneasily."You didn't have anyone to turn to. You didn't have anyone to offer you guidance–" He met her eyes again. "When you told me about your mother and your, uh, your father, I felt like our relationship became even more complicated and even more confusing. I've always wanted to support you, to be there for you–" He took a deep breath. "But I've always wanted to give you even more than that." Grissom's cheeks were rapidly turning red. "I need to give you more than that. And I wasn't sure if we were still on the same page. At least not until now." He winced. "Does that make any sense?"

Sara choked back a sob. "It–it make–makes perfect sense." She fought back her tears, determined not to let herself get worked up by her overwhelming emotions. "I–I confirmed your–your fears," she gasped out. "I confused you. I–I'm sorry–"

"For what?" Grissom asked gently. "I don't understand. You've done nothing wrong."

Inappropriate validation. That's what I did–or said–wrong, Grissom. Sara shuddered. "I didn't me–mean it," she said quickly. "I didn't mean what–what I said." You mean so much more than that to me!

"Sara, honey–"

"I still–still cared. I do still care," Sara began to explain. "I just–I just didn't think that–that you did."

"You didn't confuse me," Grissom said, his tone firm. He stared straight into her eyes and Sara could tell that he knew exactly what she was talking about. "In fact, you've always made everything pretty clear to me."

Sara felt her body relax a little. "I have?"

"Yes." Grissom gave her a sad smile. "And I let myself believe that I had all the time in the world to figure out what to do about this"

Sara's tears spilled down her cheeks but she barely noticed them. "So may–maybe now we can de–define'this', Grissom," she panted. "What–what exactly does 'this' mean?"

"I don't know," Grissom replied, his eyes full of compassion. "But it means something. It means I feel something."

Sara gave him a wobbly, sheepish grin. I know you feel something, Griss, she thought. I know that now. "I nev–never really thought that you did–didn't feel anything," she whispered. "I think–I think I al–ways knew that you did. I–I just didn't know that–that I knew." Sara coughed, gasping again.

"Relax," Grissom said, hushing her in an affectionate tone.

"I'm good," Sara replied. I'm as relaxed as I could possibly be right now.

"Are you?"

"Yeah, I–I'm okay," she said, calming herself again.

Grissom nodded reluctantly and then, taking a slow, steadying breath in time with Sara, he continued talking. "I'm not sure I know how to define 'this', Sara," he explained. "The, uh, the way I feel about you–I–I've never felt the same way about anyone else." He licked his lips. "I haven't been able to let myself analyse my feelings for you. But I know that these feelings are–strong. And I know that I feel very lost in them–in a good way. They're unfamiliar but they–they're good."

I'm just happy that you've acknowledged that these feelings exist, Sara thought, feeling so warm that the heat from their bonfire almost seemed cold.

"Sara–"Grissom's voice was shaking. So were his hands. "I don't know anything about any of this. I don't know about relationships. I don't even remember the last time I had a real one. I don't want to push you any further away than I already have but I–I'm afraid that, no matter what I do, it'll happen anyway and I don't think I could handle that."

"Nothing could push–push me fur–further away, Grissom," Sara replied, sighing against his chest. "Not as–as long as you care about me and want me with–with you. That's all I need. Re–remember? It–it doesn't matter if you–you don't know anything about re–lationships. You know ev–everything about everything else," she chuckled weakly.

"But," Grissom slowly objected. "Like I said, I want to give you more. I feel more than that for you. I just don't know what that means. For the longest time I, uh, I didn't think I knew anything about love. I still have no idea how to define it. And I feel like I'm the last person in the world who would be able to." Grissom brought his head even closer to Sara's before continuing. "But I–I think I might be getting closer to figuring it all out."

"I–I don't think love can be de–fined, Grissom," Sara replied gently, her wide eyes and her once pale cheeks glowing. Oh my God! He loves me, Sara realized, her heart leaping. She immediately noticed that her pain had disappeared again and that her body felt incredibly light. He loves me! At least I think that's what he's trying to tell me. When Grissom's passionate blue eyes confirmed Sara's thoughts, the world instantly melted away from her, everything fusing into one big, warm glow.

"I think you're right," Grissom replied, whispering into Sara's ear. "I think I'm starting to realize that there really are no words to describe it."

Sara's happy tears streamed down her cheeks, the steady waterfall dampening Grissom's beard. His rough cheek was now pressed gently against her own soft one and Sara could feel the heat between their skin. "I–I've had dreams about–about this," she breathed, her lips getting very close to Grissom's. "I've want–wanted this for so–for so long."

"Me too," came Grissom's breathless reply. He gently tilted Sara's chin, bringing her even closer to him. "Is this okay?" he whispered, just before his lips connected softly with Sara's.

Sara's small, desperate nod was lost in their very light but passionate kiss. Grissom's lips just barely brushed her own but Sara had never felt anything like it. She could never have imagined such an amazingly beautiful feeling. I'm kissing Grissom! she silently cheered. And he's kissing me. For real. This is really happening! When Grissom's lips left her own, Sara moaned–and it wasn't out of pain. She still couldn't feel anything but the incredible, warm, tingly sensations that were radiating throughout her weak body.

"Did I hurt you?" Grissom asked, looking instantly alarmed.

"God, no," Sara sighed happily, her breaths coming rapidly. "That was–that was just so–" She stopped, unable to find any words to describe how she felt. Summoning all her energy, she smiled broadly, tiredly. "My dreams were–were nev–er this good. I al–ways knew they–they would end, that they–they weren't real. This feels real."

"It is real," Grissom reminded her, his mouth still close to her ear.

"I'm–I'm so–" She stopped again, still speechless. She wanted to say she was happy but she felt so much more than that. It didn't seem right. The word was completely inadequate.

"It's okay," Grissom jumped in, his eyes full of understanding. "I think I know what you're trying to say."

"Good," Sara replied, feeling dizzy. "I'm just–just so over–whelmed." She leaned in against Grissom's chest again, assuming that she was disoriented because of her bursting emotions. She fought to steady her breathing, her fingers grasping at Grissom's coat.

"Sara?" Grissom's voice was gentle and full of concern. "Just concentrate on your breathing. I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have–"

"No," Sara gasped. "Don't–don't say that. Please, Griss. Don't say th–that. It's not–not that at all."

Grissom closed his eyes, clearly relieved. "Okay," he whispered. Sara continued to gasp and wheeze and a second later, when Grissom opened his eyes again, he was all business. "Sara, what is it? You need to tell me."

Sara could barely hear Grissom and she was very confused all of a sudden. She shook her head a little bit, trying to escape the rapidly increasing fog in her brain. I feel funny, she thought, panic creeping back into her heart. Sara was still beyond happy and she still felt as if she were walking on clouds but she was starting to feel the pain again and her head was already throbbing. Something's not right, she thought wildly, her eyelids becoming very heavy again. I can't close my eyes. I can't close my eyes, she repeated to herself. Breathe. Stay awake. Come on, Sidle! You can't leave Grissom now. He loves you and you're just getting to all the good stuff! You have to stay awake! Sara tried to talk herself out of the strange sensation but her eyelids were only getting heavier. And heavier.

Grissom's voice seemed very far away now. "Sara?" he urgently called out to her. "Talk to me!" His hands were on her face, his fingers tapping her cheeks insistently. "Sara, I need you to tell me what's wrong."

I don't know what's wrong! she wanted to cry out. She tried to form the words but she just couldn't seem to do it. It felt as if she were trapped in a crazy spell, unable to speak, unable to move, unable to breathe. Gasping madly, she tried to force air into her lungs. "It–it hurts–again," she muttered between ragged breaths. "Too–tired. Can't–keep–my–eyes–open."

"Yes, you can," Grissom replied loudly, firmly. Sara was dimly aware of Grissom's movements as he quickly slid his legs out from underneath her. He grasped her shoulders and lowered her gently to the ground, removing his coat and bunching it up under her head. Sara managed to keep her eyes open just enough to see Grissom's face hovering close to her own. "Sara?" he called to her again.

"Happ–ened all of a sudd–en," she groaned. "Didn't fe–feel right."

"Just try to calm down, honey," Grissom encouraged her, taking both of Sara's hands into his own. "I'm right here. Everything's going to be fine."

Sara tried her best to believe him but she found it very difficult. Grissom seemed so far away from her and she was cold again. Very cold. I–can't–fall–asleep, she told herself, her brain processing her thoughts very slowly. Stay–awake. Sara felt Grissom's hands move to rub her arms vigorously. Then, after what seemed like a split second but was really a few minutes, the rubbing stopped and Sara was aware of a bright light being forced into her eyes. First into the right and then the left. She put up a weak fight to blink her heavy eyelids but they were being forced open and her tired eyes were forced to endure the steady beam of light. I'm–so–far–away, Sara thought, struggling to think.

Again, Grissom's voice pulled Sara out of her daze. "Stay with me, Sara," he repeated, until she managed to focus on him. "I know it's getting harder but you have to stay awake."

I know, Griss. Sara clung to his words, fighting her way back. The fog started to clear–just a little bit. I need to know a few more things before I get even worse! "Griss?" she mumbled, her vision sharpening. "Grissom?"

He squeezed her hand. "I'm right here," he said softly.

"The–the accident–"

Grissom cleared his throat and nervously, he averted his eyes.

"I know–I know you re–member," Sara whispered slowly, staring up at him.

Grissom gave her a slight half-smile and he sighed. "I think I knew that," he whispered back.

"I need–I need to–to know," Sara told him, slurring every word. "I need to–to know what–what happened. Pl–please."

Grissom nodded silently.

TBC

Author's Note: This chapter took forever to post! I'm sorry I made you all wait so long but I moved and I wasn't able to get my computer hooked up until now! On a brighter note, school is over and the summer has started! I should have the next chapter ready to go pretty soon so I hope you're all still with me! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews!

Special thanks to: Sunrays and Saturdays, Teenwitch, taramis, Dizzy-Dreamer, ToMyGrave, Eaglesei, Mochaccino Love, gabesaunt, DaVinci13, Katia, Aidrianna, jbr12476, djkittycat, lightning bug, brainfear, Jenny70529, Almeida's-Angel24, Shannon, Dolphin Animagus, Lifeguard, Debbie, Lin, Inky, CarbyluvYTDAW, Cheer, Silence89, dreams-of-a-girl, Trialia, laurensurgyn, svcmc and anonymous, whoever you are! Thanks a million to you all and an extra special thanks to all of you who have been sticking with me for so long! Your support is so wonderful!

Jazz