Ha HA! I am unvanquished! The cold had me worried about things, but it all works out in the end. 'Twas merely a mild spot of viral whats-a-majigg. Takes more than that to shut me up! Though to be fair, while I'm not quiet while I'm sick, I'm also generally not saying anything that anyone really wants to listen to… "my throat itches, my toes are numb, buy me more Kleenex, the air tastes of moldy carpets, I want a lozenge, my elbows ache, I've lost my lower lip, someone carry me into the shade, my snots all brown…"

BUT! I've better things to talk about now, and my snot is no longer brown. I'm sure you've all breathed a sigh of relief at that.

Thanks again, going out to my stalwart reviewers. Y'all brighten my day. THANK YOU TERRAN, CYNLEE, MICKIS, ARTYKIDD, RENE, RELUCTANT DRAGON, TRIPLEGUESS, PACPHYS, and DIEDRE! Y'all are like $2,000 worth of pudding, baby. ; P

Attempt Number 006:

Fluttering gently as an autumn leaf, Mary Sue set the tips of her satin-slippered feet upon the filthy New York City asphalt. She folded her fairy wings behind her as naturally as she breathed. Turning to her dragon-guardian and best friend and sensei, Mary pointed down the dark crevice between the ancient apartments.

"PooftheMagik-sensei? You want me to go in there? I will find enlightenment and adventure and ultimately, my purpose in life that you trained me for from birth and saved me from that fire that killed my mom and my dad and my sister and my cat and my hampster and all my neighbors for?"

The dragon beamed at Mary. "Yes, my child. Only you can unlock the sacred Filigreed Crumpet of Infinite Prowess! Only YOU can save this doomed world from the Last Scion of the Warbling Darkbeasts of Dark! Go! Adventure awaits!"

Mary Sue tilted her pretty little head to the side. "But aren't the Warbling Darkbeasts of Dark terribly, awfully, powerfully, horribly evil? I heard they maim little girls with fairy wings, eat kittens, leave gum on benches, pulp doves, maim little girls with fairy wings, drink rum and cokes, sell cigarettes to minors and maim little girls with fairy wings. Are you certain this is my quest, PooftheMagik-Sensei? You've only trained me in every known form of combat for about 5 minutes on each."

The Dragon pulled itself up to its full, magnificent height. "Only those who doubt will die! This passage will lead you to kindred spirits who will gladly volunteer to fight and die for you and your cause. Seek them out!"

Bowing from the waist to her dragon-guardian, Mary Sue took this new information to heart and spared no time in darting ahead, ready for her future and her champions. A meaty crack resounded through the alleyway. The dragon winced.

Peering into the alley, PooftheMagik-Sensei sighed with resigned disappointment. Evil warbling carried up the narrow passage.

"Lost another one! Crud. Oh well, if at first you don't succeed, orphan another girl…" The Dragon rendered itself invisible and went off to get a new apprentice.

Attempt Number 006: FAILURE

Lesson Number 006: Anything that lives as long as a dragon probably does not have your puny, little, mortal interests at heart.

Meanwhile, back at the lair…

Leonardo handed Raphael another coke from the fridge before dropping into the sofa next to him. "Yeah, I know what you mean. I want to give them credit, but I do worry how Donnie and Mike'd cope if something happened to one of us."

Raphael grunted in acknowledgement and pulled the tab on his soda. He drained fully half the can, staring dead ahead at the television. Leonardo did not rush him. Raph looked like he was 5,000 miles away, but Leo knew he was considering it. "If we died. An' not a STUPID death… but somebody killed us—they'd have revenge. They'd have somethin' ta' blame besides themselves. But if one'a us died DUMB?" Raphael shook his head and belched. "Hell, if ANY of us died DUMB the rest'a us'd be completely lost fer a good long time."

Leo's brow furrowed. "Dying Dumb?"

Raph shrugged and gestured at the television where some home video showed a kid nearly castrating his father with a weed whacker. "You know… one'a us gets food poisoning. 'Er one'a us gets plowed over by a subway train. Somethin' completely without any fault but our own—an' somethin' where there's no dignity." Raphael considered for a moment. "Yeah. Don't matter WHICH'a us got drowned by fallin' asleep in the tub… Mikey an' Don'd not be the only ones flipped out."

Leonardo frowned. "You can't drown by falling asleep in the tub, Raph. That can only happen with unattended infants and paralysis victims. You've got enough muscle to sit up when your head slips under water."

Raphael rolled his eyes. "Bad example, sue me."

Leonardo nodded, agreeing on that point. "I don't think a foolish death would be the worst though. Have you ever considered that 'something happening' to one of us might not be death? If one or more of us were to become seriously wounded—crippled? Can you imagine the strain on the family if—"

Raphael cut into Leo's rambling worry. "LEO! Jeez. Git'a GRIP. Mike'd tell ya that ain't gonna happen cause we're the best. Which is bull. Stuff happens, no matter who you are. Don'd point out that we're actually overdue fer something like that. Splinter'd have you meditate on it—but I'm tellin' you somethin'. You worryin' about everything that ain't happened yet? No wonder yer bald. You got ulcers yet?"

"Surely being prepared is better than not, Raphael. I know it's unpleasant to consider, but if we only think about it when forced to by the situation, we may not make the most rational decisions."

"Again with the negative—shut UP, already, Leo. Look. I hate thinkin' about this kinda crap. You know that. My take? We roll with it. We always have. Stuff'd suck fer a while, but we'd figure it out. Mike, Don, Sensei… they'd all find their feet eventually, ya'know?"

Leonardo sighed and laid his head back on the wall behind the sofa. "Right. I just—wouldn't want them to have to, you know?"

Raphael nodded in agreement, his eyes still trained on the TV. "Me neither, bro. Me neither."