For three and a half excruciating hours, Gil Grissom, with his heart pounding out of control, had forced himself to believe that everything would be okay. Knowing that Sara was depending on him, he had almost managed to convince himself that they would be found quickly and that Sara would be able to hold on as long as she had to. She was, after all, one of the strongest women Grissom knew and it just didn't seem possible that Sara Sidle, always brave and faithful, could just close her eyes and give up. But now, after seeing her shiver and suffer, after listening to her moan in pain and gasp for air, Grissom was faced with the terrifying reality that Sara didn't have enough strength to fight, that her weakening body just couldn't allow it. His hope was fading. She didn't have much longer. He knew it.

And he could barely control his emotions.

Grissom was reluctant to even acknowledge his own pain but as Sara's condition deteriorated, he could feel nothing but the black hole of despair in his heart and his own rising panic. I can't afford to panic, Grissom told himself over and over again. If I'm going to help Sara at all, I need to stay calm and think this out. She needs me. She's depending on me. And I won't let her down! Grissom had been trying desperately to hide his growing fear and guilt from Sara. He was doing his best to make sure that his face revealed nothing but the love and hope that he was clinging to–but it was getting harder. After revealing his deepest feelings, after connecting with Sara and finally setting his heart and soul free, Grissom now had to battle his worst fear–losing her. Gathering all his strength and forcing himself to focus, he looked down at Sara's semi-conscious form in determination. I've waited years to tell her how I feel and now we're finally on the same page. I need her. I love her. I can't lose her now. I won't let it happen!

Her face white and her brown, hazy eyes blinking rapidly, Sara was now barely able to form words. But she still wanted answers. Grissom had gently lowered her to the ground so he could take a better look at her, to see if there was anything, anything at all, he could do to help her. After carefully checking her over again with the help of his flashlight, Grissom had settled down next to her, his eyes following the uneven rise and fall of her chest. And now, as he sat there, motionless, holding Sara's hands in his own, Grissom was faced with a task he'd been trying so hard to avoid.

I have to tell her what happened. Grissom sighed inwardly. The accident. I need to make her understand. She wants to know. She has to know. The accident was now painfully sharp in Grissom's memory and Sara was reading him like a book, just like she always did. It was now very clear that she didn't necessarily want to know what had happened to them but that she had to know. Sara Sidle had always made it a practice to learn and to know absolutely everything and Grissom, after years of teaching her, knew better than to withhold knowledge of any kind. So when she asked him to tell her about the accident, Grissom knew that he really didn't have a choice. If she needed to know, then she would.

"Sara–you're, uh, you're right. I do remember the accident," Grissom told her quietly, taking a quick breath before launching into an explanation. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want to upset you. And there were, uh, there were other things I wanted to say first."

Sara smiled weakly at that, her fingers squeezing his with the tiniest amount of pressure. Her eyelids flickered and she mumbled something but Grissom couldn't make it out–she was barely moving her lips. Come on, honey. Stay with me here, he silently urged. I'm going to tell you what you need to know. Just stay with me. I have so much more to say to you!

As if she were responding to Grissom's silent encouragement, Sara steadied herself and, with a great a deal of effort, forced out a few slow, slurred words."Te–tell me, Griss," she moaned. "Talk, okay? I–I need your–your voice." Her fingers fell away from his as she became even more sluggish. "Fe–feels bett–er when I–I can hear you."

Grissom's heart sank. Quickly, he found her fingers again, squeezing tightly. "Sara? Can you hear me okay right now?"

Sara shook her head, her movements slight. "Far aw–ay," she whispered.

"No, I'm not," he replied, his voice soft but loud at the same time, so that she could hear him. "I'm not far away. I'm right here with you." Grissom squeezed her hands even tighter–as tight as he possibly could without hurting her. I won't leave you, Sara. I'm not going anywhere, he promised, his thoughts remaining unspoken as he pressed his lips together in determination. And neither are you!

Sara's head lolled to one side, her cheek coming to rest on Grissom's bunched up coat. She sighed against the billowing material and Grissom immediately moved to adjust the coat so that it would cushion and support her head and neck if she chose to stay in that position. It didn't seem like she would have enough strength to move her head back so Grissom did his very best to make her as comfortable as possible. After making sure that the blanket was still wrapped securely around Sara's listless form, Grissom decided to lay down next to her, just for a little while, so that she would be able to see his face and know that he was still with her. One of his hands found her arm, the arm closest to him, hidden well by the bulky blanket.

"There," Grissom announced, as he inched closer to Sara, rubbing her arm and then her back to keep her warm and calm. "I'm closer now," he breathed. "Can you hear me a little better?" Sara nodded, her head moving just enough for Grissom to notice. He had to look twice to see the movement but when he did, he relaxed. "Good, honey," he said, keeping his voice loud and clear. "That's good."

Sara bit down on her lower lip, muffling a deep groan, and she winced, tears instantly flooding her dull eyes. She managed to gasp out a few more words and Grissom, bringing his ear closer to her lips, was able to make out the words 'another' and 'car' before Sara became silent again. He nodded reluctantly and, with a heavy heart, began to tell her exactly what he remembered. He explained how they had seen intermittent lights through the trees, how they had made a sharp turn only to find themselves in the direct path of another car–or a truck to be exact. Grissom's voice wavered slightly when he told her that the truck never slowed down, that the driver hadn't seen them or had chosen to ignore them. And his voice wavered noticeably when he revealed, in detail, the reason why she was badly injured and he was not.

"Grissom!"

Sara's short, fearful cry ripped Grissom's soul apart.

But he didn't even have time to think about the devastating anguish that flooded through him. In fact, he was no longer able to think or feel the moment he pounded his fist against the horn and floored the gas pedal. He was numb, acting only on instinct, and desperate.

Headlights.

They were relentless, staring them down in the darkness, the light threatening to swallow them whole. But the Tahoe's engine roared and the tires skidded in the gravel, rapidly spinning a hollow into the ground before launching the vehicle into full motion.

Only milliseconds passed as the truck barrelled along the narrow road, heading right at them at an unforgiving speed. There was a thick cloud of dirt as the Tahoe surged ahead and Grissom, his mind blank and his heart hammering in his chest, had to make a choice–even though there really was no choice to make. He had to escape the oncoming vehicle. And there was only one, bleak alternative to being hit head on.

Closing his eyes in fear, Grissom turned the steering wheel sharply to the right and the Tahoe flew into the trees at an incredible, dizzying speed. He thrust his right arm out in front of Sara, protecting her, holding her back against the seat as they violently abandoned the road, narrowly escaping the speeding truck.

They were flying.

At least, that's how it felt to Grissom. Deep down, he knew better but he wasn't in any position to realize that. It was almost as if his mind was melting as they raced into the darkness, out of control. He was, however, conscious enough to know that he needed to somehow brace himself–and Sara–for the crash that was certainly no more than a split second away. He winced, holding his arm against Sara's chest with all of his might, shielding her.

Sara was gasping but other than the sound of her panicky breaths, she didn't make any noise at all. She didn't have time to. The flight ended in the same second it began, when the Tahoe made contact with the thick row of trees lining the side of the road. The hurtling vehicle scraped along one of the thick trunks before slamming against another tree, the passenger side taking the loud, intense blow. The sounds of shattering glass and crumpling metal tormented Grissom's ears as the Tahoe tipped and turned, recoiling from the impact. He could no longer hear Sara's gasps. She was silent.

Somehow, Grissom's foot made it to the brake and with every ounce of strength he could find within himself, he stomped on it, sending the staggering vehicle into a spin. He tried to regain control of the Tahoe but he was too late. The front tires slid over the edge of a bank, sending Grissom and an unconscious Sara tumbling. They rolled, sliding down the small, bumpy hill, the already weakened passenger side groaning and bending dangerously. He gritted his teeth, hearing the noise and feeling sick as he was tossed about, and he searched for Sara's hand but everything went black before he could find it.

A minute later, when Grissom opened his eyes again, the Tahoe was sitting upright, shuddering in place. They were now in a clearing on the other side of the trees and Grissom couldn't seem to remember what had happened. But his heart knew. And his heart knew that the only way he could deal with it was to forget it all for just a little while.

So he forgot.

And the stars became the only thing in his world. There were millions of them and they sparkled through the broken glass, shining into Grissom's broken heart.

Grissom sighed and Sara's chin quivered. Now they both knew that the truck never hit them. Instead, it had forced them off the road and then passed them like a fast-moving storm, leaving displaced dirt, tire tracks, a defeated, broken Tahoe and two eternally altered souls as evidence.

"I wasn't able to think, Sara," Grissom admitted, his husky voice wavering. "I didn't have time. I couldn't do anything but try to get out of the way." Feeling guilty and very uncomfortable, he licked his dry lips and he tilted his head, stretching his neck. "And," he continued slowly. "For some reason, I was lucky. But it should have–" His eyes stung and his words stopped coming. It should have been me, he thought, wanting to say the words and urging his mouth to open. Sara shouldn't have to face this! Why does she always get all the pain?

Sara stared at him, her eyes barely open, her tears still falling. "Griss?" she said, her lips moving slowly, determinedly. "It–it's not your fault."

Grissom shook his head, giving her a tired, half smile. "Feels like it. I feel like I let you down," he said, touching her cheek gently. "It's always been my job to protect you, as your boss, as your friend and as, well, more than that, and I couldn't do it this time. I feel responsible." Grissom knew that it was irrational but only natural to blame himself for Sara's injuries. Still, he couldn't help but think that it might have been different somehow, that he could have prevented her pain if he had done even one thing differently. "I need you to understand," he continued, pausing again briefly. "That I would do anything–absolutely anything–to protect you, Sara. You have to know that."

Sara nodded weakly again. "I do," she breathed.

Grissom stroked her cheek, smiling softly in reply. Then, he spoke again."I don't know why the other driver didn't see us," he told her, his smile already gone. "He could have been drunk or high or just plain reckless. I can't give you any definite answers."

"It's okay," Sara replied, only mouthing the words. She lifted one of her hands up slowly, extending her fingers toward Grissom, reaching for him. He grasped them tightly and her eyelids fluttered closed, her tears still flowing.

"Sara, come on," Grissom begged, his voice hoarse. Her brimming eyes opened again, only slightly. "Just stay with me here," he said. "I need you to hang on. For me. We're going to get out of this. Together. Okay?"

Sara didn't answer. Or blink. She just stared. And her unstoppable, silent tears fell.

Carefully, Grissom wrapped his arms around her and he closed his own eyes, praying. She was getting weaker by the second, her breaths coming in deep, raspy gasps that were becoming louder and more painful. "They'll be here soon," Grissom said, whispering into Sara's ear, hoping that he might be able to calm her again. But he was pretty sure that they were beyond that point now. Sara was no longer in control of her body or her mind. "They'll be here," Grissom said again, anyway.

"I–I hope," Sara replied softly, struggling to gasp the words out. She stared into Grissom's eyes, her whole face full of fear. "I'm so sc–scared," she cried.

I know, honey, Grissom thought, his heart breaking all over again. I know you are. So am I. He hugged her a bit tighter, being careful of her ribs, and he stroked her hair softly. "Hold on to that hope, Sara," he whispered, his mouth still at her ear. "I need you to hold on."

But Sara didn't hear him. Grissom felt her body shake and by the time he pulled away to look at her, her eyes were closed and she was still. The sound of her laboured breathing filled the night air but she was unconscious, unmoving.

And Grissom, with tears filling his eyes, fought to hold on to his own hope.

TBC

Author's Note: I hope you liked chapter eleven! Sorry about the wait. I've got chapter twelve coming and a few new stories that I hope to post soon!

Special thanks to: wanda57, ToMyGrave, DolphinAnimagus, Trialia, vsky, Teenwitch, Sunrays and Saturdays, GracefulBee, LSI, jbr12476, Chicklit, Aidrianna, rokothepas, wandaa, tarrabeena, silence89, anan, DaVinci13, Dizzy-Dreamer, Hans (the girl), ScullyAsTrinity, CarbyluvYTDAW, gabesaunt, Mochaccino Love, anonymous (whoever you are!), CSICubsFan, Lin, Katia, HeartGSR, Jenny70529, dreams-of-a-girl, lalaforte, gscritter, LidVelvet, brainfear, Cassie, Wiccagirl 24, cjtylr74, Veronica, Laura, AyaSidle and anyone I missed! I really appreciate all of your reviews! Thanks for sticking with me and for being so supportive!

Jazz