Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing
Dedication: To JK for being a great friend and for giving us something good to read. And yes, I got her permission to write this.:P
Frozen Reflection
Chapter 1: New Beginnings, New Questions
Heero Yuy couldn't sleep. He sat up in the darkness, flinging the covers off. The cold air splashed against his body, mingling with the thin sweat that was built up while lying motionless for hours in his bed.
The icy wind groaned outside, disturbing the near dead earth and the silence around him. Each breath he consumed tasted of the frost; a faint reminder of the early snow that would wash away the fall season. Winter couldn't wait to come, its merciless hands slowly but surely freezing each day within its grasp.
His apartment laid still in the cold and howling silence. Ignoring both, Heero emerged from his bed and approached the invisible barrier that seperated him from touching the natural night. Bracing an arm against the wall, he glared out into the dark.
The thoughts that kept him from sleep hung heavy and long as the days, and fresh and piercing as the cold.
Damn, it. Not again.
He thought those words nearly every night. He felt them every night. Now, it was worse than ever.
Unlike before, he broke out of his denial that he could ever escape them. To escape them, he would have to escape her. But he knew that was impossible. No matter how far he could physically get away from her, he would always somehow, in some form return to her. And for so many years before, he always thought it was the other way around. And not only could he not get away from her...he didn't want to anymore.
Relena...
How was she able to do this to him? How was he able to let her to?
He'd known her for twelve years now. The were fifteen when they first met: She had been so different when he first met her. Fifteen, popular, and surrounded by pretty, superficial girls that could've been clones of her. He would've never thought twice that someone like her would have an influence on the war or on him.
He was so wrong.
Out of the twelve years he'd known her, he was her official bodyguard for nine of them. He'd protected her just as he promised her. But whatever he thought he could gain from it, it was never enough for him. Protecting her, being close to her, watching her mature into a better person each year...it only seemed to fuel everything he tried to avoid. As for her, Heero knew that her feelings for him never died despite the years of cold, professional indifference. The only difference was that she had concentrated her persistence in her work rather than her obsession. During those years, Heero had told himself that it was a relief. Of course, he stated the words more than he felt them.
Now, there was no turning back on what he knew was true. Everything was revealed to him ever since what happened.
When he almost lost her.
It was only three months ago, he had handed in his resignation as her bodyguard. After that one act, it all went down from there.
Relena had been kidnapped and blackmailed by her partner in Foreign Affairs, Vincient McCallister. The heartless bastard had not only threatened and fooled her into helping him into gain total power over ESUN but had nearly killed her when he ordered his organization to inject her with a superhuman formula they had developed. In result of everything, Relena had assasinated two high ranking politicians, Dominic Sakheim and William Smith. When everyting was unvieled, everyone knew that nothing would be the same again.
McCallister and his organization had been charged with the highest conviction against the ESUN and was put away for good. As for Relena, she had, of course, lost her posistion as Vice Foreign Minister and was also forbidden to ever return to power. But thanks to Une and the unexpected forgiveness from the two mourning families, she had not been within a mile of a courtroom and was put in ESUN's public service sector to 'serve time'. Relief, the only and yet very slight remedy he seemed to deserve, clensed away any fear that he would lose her. Even though she was never his to lose to begin with.
He knew he admitted to everything the moment he stole a kiss from her unconscious form. And like after every time he was with her, he left wanting more of her. He wanted so much more.
His thoughts were stained with her now. They always were. He wondered about her; he tried imagining what she was doing, how she was feeling–especially how she was feeling after everything that happened.
Including the incident that happened two weeks ago.
He scowled at his reflection on the clean glass and it scowled back.
Idiot, it was saying, why haven't you confronted her about it?
I don't know.
Heero rested his forehead against his supporting arm, his eyes never leaving the empty street below him. A thin, dead tree by the entrance pathway swayed against the wind, its empty branches reaching for an invisible object.
Finally, he closed his eyes.
Two weeks ago, the son of Dominic Sackhiem tried to kill her. And almost succeeded. Heero had arrived at Relena's home just in time to stop him, thanks to an unexpected and frantic call from Quatre.
To Heero's disapporval that overwhelmed his usual admiration for Relena's compassion, she had forgiven the boy. Darwin Sackhiem left her house with nothing but a guilty conscience and wounded hand which Heero had given him with a hidden satisfaction.
That would've been the end of that but unlike Relena, Heero needed more than an apology to make sure that the boy never came near her again.
The next night, Heero made an unexpected visit.
12 days ago...
Darwin sighed deeply, content that the day was over. He looked down at his bandaged hand, his eyes narrowing in a frown.
He couldn't believe how close he was in killing Relena. He could've lost everything just for one sick, moment to feed his selfishness.
His mother had picken him up from the hospital yesterday. Relena must had called her. His mothe was in tears, all because of him.
Mom, I'm sorry.
Dad, I'm sorry.
Whatever had to do to make it up to his family and the memory of his father, he would do it. The right way this time.
The exhausted boy went to his desk and sank into his chair. He turned on his computer and in a few seoncds the dim glow spread across his face and the objects of his desk. Just as he was about to lose himself in his work, he raised his line of vision barely an inch above the moniter and bolted from his chair, its wheels carried it off until it dully hit the wall.
Darwin tried to control his breathing as the shadow removed itself from the wall and moved like a demon to his desk. The computer's glow finally touched his features just enough for Darwin to recognize who the shadow was. What did Relena call him again? Heero...?
"Y-you..!" His eyes as he stuttered. "You were there. Wha–Who are you?"
"A friend of Relena's." His voice sounded as the dark as the room.
Darwin swallowed a breath. "What do you want?"
"Are you going near Relena again?"
Understanding widened his eyes and he immediately shook his head. "No, I won't try anything with her again."
The shadow reached into his pocket and produced a familiar silver gun, making Darwin tense.
"On your father's grave?"
Darwin's eyes traveled from the gun back up to the man's face. He nodded, eyes darkening with grief and honesty.
"On my father's grave, I won't do any harm to her."
Silence draped the space between them muting out the soft hum of the computer.
Finally, the man spoke.
"Good." A dull thud followed quickly–the flat of the gun hitting his desk. The man turned towards the windows.
"Sir, that's not mine."
Heero must've been losing his touch because he actually stopped to hear the rest of the boy's explanation. The second he heard the rest, he wish he didn't.
"It's Relena's. She gave it to me."
Darwin didn't even see Heero move. He blacked out for a second before he felt his front pressed harshly against the wall with a his arm twisted behind his back.
Heero's grip on the boy's already wounded hand was tight; his other hand pushing the barrel of the gun into the gauze . "You lying," he bit out. "Do you want another bullet in your hand?"
"No! I swear to God, it's the truth!" he cried out.
"What happened?"
"She told me to use her gun–I'm not lying–ask her yourself!"
Suddenly, the pressure disappeared. Panting, Darwin whipped around, nearly crumbling completely against the wall, holding his sore hand.
He was met with the empty, dark room.
Heero sat on his bed. He pulled opened the drawer of his night table, revealing the same gun from the memory. He took the weapon in his hand, gripping it firmly as he unlocked it. With no hesitation, he aimed the gun at his faint, transparent reflection in the window.
His finger curled around the trigger.
The glass glared back, giving him no answers to the questions that came at him in overlapping waves.
He dropped his aim and closed his eyes, breathing deeply. Attempting to clear his head was futile though.
The questions kept coming.
What had she been thinking?
Why didn't she fight back?
What's wrong with you, Relena?
He had never been this concern for her before. His entire body ached with worry, awakening everything else he tried so hard to keep hidden all these years. He wanted to tell her how he felt more than ever. He wanted to find out if she was really alright and how she could ever consider–
He didn't finish the thought. It was too much for him. He had spent so many years protecting her and doing such a good job of it, the mere thought of her dying was incomprehensible; as if it wasn't suppose to be like that. She wasn't suppose to leave him.
It had happened once before though. Relena had stopped breathing in his arms. It was the longest minute of his life. For that one minute, his fear had come true and his life had been over.
He wasn't going to allow that to happened again.
The clock read 3:12 am.
Still, Heero felt no sleep in his eyes. He briefly wondered how Relena was sleeping. If she was sleeping at all. He wondered everything about her and he knew one day whether it was sooner of later, he would find the answers to his questions.
Heero wasn't afraid of the answers as much as how he was going to come to them. After a life of war and twelve long years, he was only beginning to come to terms of who he was and what he felt for her, while Relena'd barely survived her own hell.
How much more did they had to suffer before they found what they were looking for? What other kind of hell awaited them?
Heero didn't know. For her though, he was willing to find out. For Relena Darlien, he would go to hell again, and again, and again.
TBC
A/N: Well, here you are folks. The first chapter to Frozen Reflection, the sequal to Perfect Assasin. I know, JK, that Heero's a little more emotional than you like him to be. I hope you don't mind. I'm so nervous about how people will react.I know I have big shoes to fill, consideringyou're is such a great writer.
JK: (frustrated sigh) Purdy, honestly, PA's not the greatest...
Purdy: Oh! But it is! It was sooo very very good. With the plot and the emotion, and that scene where Relena does that thingy and where Quatre says this and....blah blah blah blah blah blah Heero blah blah blah blah kiss blah blah blah Wufei blah blah I have NO LIFE blah blah blah
JK: -.-;;;;Why won't she stop??
(Thirty minutes later)
Purdy:....And that is why I decided to write the sequal....JK, you still listening?
JK: Hell no. -.-
Purdy: Okay, good for you.XD Anyway, please review and I hope you guys will enjoy this fic as much as PA. I will only do my very best!! Thanks for reading.