Chapter 4: Resolve
Disclaimer: (insert standard disclaimer stuff here)
Guilt was tugging at her heart, her conscience was wearing her down. She reasoned it out that no matter what she had said, no matter what decision she made, she would be feeling guilty by about now anyhow, so she elected to try to calm down and simply live without letting guilt consume her.
Certain things were easier said than done.
Pacing in his study, his mind had been occupied by her last visit all day. It had been a most unproductive day of work; attempting to work was in vain. All he could do was think about her, about what she said, about what she did...Then he would try to push it out of his head.
She and he needed to have words, he knew this, but he was clueless as how to approach her. Should he call her? Should he visit her? Would doing that just push her away further?
Because of these concerns, he decided he would wait. He would simply wait, though he had the suspicion that waiting would drive him mad with anticipation.
He wished things were less complicated.
"Lana, you can't tell me there isn't something wrong," Chloe told her plainly, raising her eyebrow as she picked up her messenger bag, getting ready to leave for class.
Lana pulled the covers off of her face, drowsily, the bright sun being a shock to her tired eyes. She winced and said sleepily, "nothing's wrong."
"Yeah, and that's why you're not even attempting to go to class, right?" Her roommate studied her, seeing if she could figure out what was the matter, but alas, she couldn't. "Look, Lana, as much as I wish I could get down to the bottom of this, I'm really running late. You'll call me if you need me, right?"
"Yeah," Lana mumbled, covering her head back up. The fact that she'd been lying awake in bed with her head covered up for the past thirty minutes without the inclination to go to class spoke volumes of how she felt right then.
She rolled over, then she rolled over again, unable to get comfortable, but maybe that was just her conscience causing her grief. The night before she had said things, done things, which she knew she shouldn't have done—things which could never, ever be taken back.
She lay in bed all day, and after awhile, the quiet hum of Chloe's computer lulled her to sleep, a sleep that was much needed.
When the clock struck six, she sat bolt up. It occurred to her what she had to do. With a quick shower and change, she grabbed her car keys with the intent of going to Smallville.
Lex stood, looking out the window with a large brandy in his hand. He had nothing to look forward to other than his supper, an intense feeling of loneliness taking hold of him. In that feeling of loneliness, she was brought to mind again.
He was anything but lonely when she was around. Whether it was during a good time, a bad time, or just an in between time, he could never be alone with her around.
He looked up at the stars, sentimentality flooding his thoughts—something his father would never approve of. The stars were bright and twinkling that night and it made him recall a very similar night. It wasn't a very remarkable night, but she was there and for that reason, it made it special. For the life of him, he didn't know why that night stood out so, all he did was drive her home, but it did, and the memory of it even forced a small smile to play on his lips.
The door to his study burst open.
It was her.
"Lana," said he, turning around. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you," she said. She paused only for a split second, but then plunged right into what she was there to say. "About last night. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know if you could ever forgive me, but I'm asking for your forgiveness anyway. I was wrong."
That stung him, but he tried not to show it. She was less wrong than she could ever know.
"Lana, there's no need for apology," he said, turning around, away from her. He couldn't look at her. He couldn't let her see the sadness in his eyes.
"Obviously, there is, Lex. I mean, you won't even look at me," she said, walking closer to him, determined to secure his forgiveness.
He turned around again to face her and it was at that moment that they were only a few inches apart. Some might even call it too close.
If he were a lesser person, he would take her in his arms, explain to her all the ways in which she had done no wrong, and kiss her passionately. The nearness of her was unbearable torture. All he wanted to do was be with her, actually be with her.
"Lex," she said quietly, taking him away from his thoughts. She was looking at him questioningly, trying to see what he was thinking with her mind's eye.
"Lana," he said slowly. It was hard not to lose himself. "What happened last night—I could never define it as a mistake."
She held his gaze for a long time, understanding what he meant completely. It was in that instant that she wondered if she might not define the previous night's kiss as a mistake either.
Fin
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Author's Note: Okay, so that's the end of that story, but I'm thinking of making a sequel, and I'm definitely going to be posting more Lexana stories—with longer chapters. Thanks to everybody who read and reviewed this little fic!