I'm sorry for the delay and the short chapter. I've been wallowing in HP-mania for a while.
This chapter has two dedications; one to my lovely reviewers who keep me going! You rock!
The second is to Angelique, Emily, Laura and the rest of the crew at C/S for inspiring me. You're amazing, all of you!
So, Have fun and I hope you'll like it!
Love, Jellicos!
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Chapter Four: Why?
As I reach the parking lot outside my apartment building I'm fuming. If I wasn't so angry I'd probably wonder why Catherine was still there, sitting in her car and staring out into space. But I'm not. I'm not thinking at all, I'm just pissed off.
I must have frightened her as I snatch open the door to the drivers' seat where she's sitting, because she jumps.
"Sara, what the-"She starts, but I'm too angry to listen.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I'm shouting at her and practically pulling her out of the car.
"Me?" She pulls back her arm from my grip as if I'd been attacking her. She's getting angry too.
"You can't just say something like that and then walk out!" Oh, god she smells great! Focus Sara! You're yelling at her, remember?
"I didn't hear you stop me." There's that hurt voice again, now filled with anger as well.
"You caught me off guard; you didn't give me time to respond!" Why is my voice so high?
"Then do it now." She says. Crossing her arms over her chest, she gives me that look, the look that states 'I dare you' much more clearly than any words could have.
I can't help but smile. This woman gets on my nerves more than anyone ever has! She knows how to push every one of my buttons and she does it on purpose. Yet there's something about her that just makes me want to ravish her right here on the parking lot. She's challenging me, daring me, and she knows that I never back down when challenged.
"Ask me again…" My voice is soft and my smirk widens as she notices. Now I've got the upper hand and she's caught of guard, her lips open slightly in surprise. Damn, she's hot! Those lips will be the death of me… Focus Sara! I notice that she's starring into the ground again.
"Look, just forget it." She says and tries to get back into the car.
"Oh, no! Not this time Catherine." I place my hand on the window of the car door, pinning her between me and the car and at the same time assuring that she doesn't go anywhere.
"Sara…" She looks at me pleadingly and for a moment I forget my anger.
"No." Why did I have to pin her so close? My mind isn't working anymore, her scent fill my senses. "We can do this here or inside, but we're going to talk this through." I give myself a pat on the back. A complete sentence. Good work Sidle!
"Fine." She sighs as pushes past me back to the building. I take a deep breath before I follow her. Sara Sidle, what have you gotten yourself into this time?
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"Can I get you something?" I walk to my kitchen isle to get a fresh cup of coffee. I've never seen her look so uncomfortable before; arms crossed, head to the side; looking at nothing in particular she shifts her weight from one foot to the other. She looks like she's about to run out the door at any moment. I pat myself mentally on the back again for remembering to lock the door this time. At least then I'll have some time to catch up to her when she decides to bolt.
"I'm fine." She speaks for the first time since leaving the parking lot, which made for quite an awkward elevator ride. I return with my cup and gesture for her to sit down on the sofa. She does, though reluctantly.
"So…" I take my time, watching her, not wanting to scare her off again. I can't seem to grasp her. Catherine is usually the confident one. The strong and feisty one who knows she can win anyone over by flashing that sexy smile of hers. Now she looks like a frightened puppy and I have no idea what to do. So I do what I do best. I get straight to the point.
"Catherine, why did you ask me?" She flinches at my words as if I'd just slapped her and I'm even more confused. When she looks up at me she's angry again. I can feel her rage and hurt shoot at me like spears.
"You started it." She states. "You can't walk down a street without being wanted and desired" She's mimicking my earlier word with a mocking tone. That's it. She's crossed the line this time. I can feel the tears starting to burn. Doesn't she know what she's doing to me? Or is she doing this because she knows?
"So that's it?" I'm standing, my voice betrays my hurt and anger but the fact that she's still sitting gives me the upper hand. "It's all a game to you isn't it?" I can't look at her. "You want confirmation so you ask me if I want you. Why do you even care what I think? If you despise me so much that you refuse to let me help you just once, then where the hell do you come off asking me if I want you!" As I turn in rage to face her I find her starring at me from the sofa. There are tears in her eyes.
"How can you think that I despise you?" She whispers. There is no anger, no walls, just hurt. And it breaks my heart all over again. I can't stay mad at her when she's like this. Damn her!
I take a deep breath before sitting down beside her.
"Why do you keep pushing me away?" I'm much calmer, but I still need to know. She looks down at her hands folded in her lap.
"Because I'm scared." Her words are just audible, but they pierce my heart none the less.
"Cath…" My voice is low, just above a whisper. And she looks at me. In that moment I realize her fear. In those intense blue eyes, I see what she's so desperately fighting. And I smile. "Ask me…" I say. "Ask me again, and this time I'll give you an answer."
She swallows hard. I know she can see the answer in my eyes because I'm letting her. I'm revealing myself to her in my gaze as she unconsciously did for me just now.
As she answers, her voice is low, husky even, and her hands are trembling.
"Do you want me... Sara?" She knows, but I'll tell her. She's trembling, refusing to look at me and I'm succumbed by arousal by her words.
"Yes Catherine." I whisper. "I want you, I've always wanted you."
She meets my eye, not sure if she's heard me right. She needs confirmation, I know that much now. So I lay my hand on her cheek and caress it slowly as I lean towards her.
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-evil cliffies- mwahahaha;)