Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the concept of Harry Potter or the characters. They all belong to the talented Ms. Rowling.
Thank you to everyone who reviewed. If I didn't get back to you it's more than likely because I couldn't find an e-mail address, but I'd still like to forward a big thank you to you.
A big thank you to my beta, Sepia, your efforts are greatly appreciated.
CHAPTER 13
"No way," Ginny whispered. "Voldemort was killed eight years ago."
"My Lord took precautions. He is under the protection of spells and enchantments which work to prevent him from falling victim to a mortal death. Everybody assumed that Harry Potter killed my Lord when he was just a baby, but my Master returned. The whole wizarding world thinks that Harry Potter destroyed him eight years ago, but he lives."
It can't be! There must be some mistake, Harry thought desperately.
"Impossible. I would have felt him if he were still alive," Draco cried, lifting his left shirt sleeve and indicating the Dark Mark on his forearm.
"Harry Potter destroyed his body, but the Dark Lord still lives."
"How does he plan to return?" Albus asked.
"He has found a suitable body to inhabit so that he may return to us."
A few in the room gasped, but most remained silent, trying to come to terms with the implications of what they were hearing.
"Whose body has he chosen?" the Headmaster pressed.
"I don't know."
"Does Voldemort keep secrets from his Death Eaters?"
"He tells us what we need to know."
"Is that why the other threedidn't know who ordered tonight's attack?"
"Yes. It's rare for the Dark Lord to communicate directly with lower ranking Death Eaters."
Albus paused for a moment to gather his thoughts. "When will Voldemort return?"
"Soon."
"Can you be more specific? How soon?"
"I don't know."
No, Harry shook his head. Impossible. There was nothing left of him. That spell was developed to do more than just destroy his body. Nothing could have survived it, he thought anxiously. He could still vividly recall the events of that day eight years ago when he had finally rid the world of Voldemort – though that's not the sort of thing that could be easily forgotten.
"Yes, I broke your mother and father before I killed them. Now, prepare to join them!"
"Not a chance – Avacillius!"
"Potter, surely you must realise that you cannot – what is this…? What have you done! AAUUGGHH!!"
"Burn in Hell you son of a bitch!"
Harry shook his head to clear it.
"Where do you meet with Voldemort?" he asked Walter, interrupting Albus' questioning.
"I…can't…tell you."
"Is the serum wearing off?" Ron asked.
"Why can't you tell us?" Harry pressed.
"I'm not the secret keeper for our meeting place."
"Did that make sense to anyone else?" Ron asked, confused.
"The effects of the Fidelius charm will not permit anyone but the secret keeper to divulge the secret. Like Walter, they simply will not be able to reveal the secret, even under veritaserum," Albus explained.
"Oh. Bugger," Ron nodded.
"Have any more attacks been planned?" Harry continued.
"I don't know of anymore. We were only ordered to kill Snape and Malfoy before the Dark Lord returned to us."
"So why did you come after me?"
"I was trying to kill you for entirely personal reasons."
Albus resumed his questioning at this point. "Who else is working for Voldemort?"
Walter rattled off a list of names, but by now Harry was no longer paying attention. I threw everything I had at him and I still couldn't beat him. What the hell am I going to do now?
OOOOO
"How was it that I was unable to detect your concealment charm when you entered the school?" Albus asked curiously.
"At first we used polyjuice potion to assume the appearance of five of the Ministry staff. It took longer than
we anticipated to execute our plan, so just before it wore off, we excused ourselves and cast concealment spells to continue our disguise."
"Does anybody have any further questions for our…guest?" Albus raised his eyebrows at the other witches and wizards. When he received no response, he threw a stunning spell at Walter.
"Well, that was…fruitful. What are we going to do with them?" Ron asked, indicating the four remaining imposters.
"I will call our aurors to collect them as soon as I am done here, and I will arrange for the body to be taken to St Mungo's," Albus told him.
Everybody else in the hall remained silent. They hadn't known this sort of fear in many years.
"We need to gather the Order together. I will call a meeting at headquarters for tomorrow," Albus told the group quietly.
"Don't you mean today?" Draco asked moodily. "It's already past midnight."
"We have a big problem though. Voldemort's coming back and we have no idea where Harry is," Ron observed quietly.
"That's true. We can only do so much without him," Hermione added.
Of course. Why should anyone else think about standing in front of the darkest wizard to grace the earth when they can just throw me in front of him instead? Harry thought angrily.
"Yes, we need Harry. He's the only one who's supposed to be able to destroy him," Ginny added.
And I've done a great job up until now. Haven't I?
"What are we going to do?" Ginny asked softly.
You only need me so that you can all hide behind me. I didn't see anyone standing next to me when I faced Voldemort last time.
"We will do what we can," Albus said sternly.
If anyone was looking closely, they would have noticed that Harry had gone as white as a sheet and he was trembling slightly. His fear was partially replaced by anger, though, as he continued to listen to the small group talk about how much they needed him to return to them.
"You must have some idea of where he is," Ron pleaded with Albus. "I don't know whether you were just protecting his privacy before but you know that we need him now."
"I honestly do not know where he is. He has covered his tracks extremely well," said Albus as he shook his head.
"I wonder if he's ever thought about what he put us through, disappearing like that," Ron muttered angrily.
The panicked chatter in the hall was interrupted by a loud 'bang'. Harry's temper flared and some of his magic slipped out, scorching the floor in front of Draco. The young blond found himself the target of several strange looks.
"Er…sorry guys, I have no idea what happened. Um, I guess I must have just sparked from my wand…or something…" Draco told them, utterly confused.
Harry wasn't quite sure if he was more angry than afraid or the other way around but he knew that he had to leave the hall. If he heard any more about how much everyone needed him to return, he was quite sure he'd end up hexing someone. Everybody seemed to be busy chatting among themselves, and he took advantage of that to slip out of the hall, hurrying through the corridors of the castle to his own rooms.
He shut the door behind him and then leaned his back against it. Oh my God, he's back. He's really back… and I'm scared to death. How am I going to face him again? he thought desperately t with a thud o himself before his knees gave out on him and he slid down the length of the door, landing on the floor with a thud .
OOOOO
Harry spread his extensive collection of books and materials on the Dark Arts unceremoniously across the lounge room, leaving himself a small patch of carpet in front of the coffee table to sit on. He had decided that he wouldn't reveal his identity to anyone until he'd had the chance to think things through properly, and he was still too shaken to attempt to do that. In the meantime, he had become consumed with a burning need to find out how the spell, which he was certain had killed Voldemort, was flawed and why it had failed.
His desperate concentration was interrupted by the sound of alarms that warned him when people were approaching his door, and then by someone knocking on it. He wasn't in the mood for company, so he tried to ignore it.
Whoever was at the door, though, was persistent. After they had continuously knocked for five minutes, Harry answered the door, certain that he'd never know any peace if he didn't.
He yanked the door open and stared irritably at the two men standing in front of it.
"Oh, I hope we didn't disturb you," Draco apologised without sounding the least bit like he meant it. "Can we come in?"
"It's two in the morning. Is it important?" Harry asked sourly, rubbing at his eyes.
"Yes, actually, it is."
Harry glared at the Draco and Professor Snape before he stood aside and let them in, too tired to argue.
"Er…" Draco observed intelligently, staring at the mess in the lounge room.
"I have your calming draught," the Potions Master indicated, holding up a vial while Harry cleared a space on his sofa for his guests.
"Thank you, but I don't need it," Harry told him, willing them to leave so he could be alone.
The older man gave him a piercing look before replying, "Yes, you do."
"Look, I may have needed it before, but I'm fine now."
"I disagree. In any case, the effects of the Cruciatus curse can be long lasting, and may affect your sleeping and eating patterns. We are all in need of some rest, so I strongly recommend that you take the potion."
Harry glared at the professor, who held his gaze, before leaving the room to look for a cup.
Severus looked away from the younger man, his frown deepening.
"What's wrong?" Draco asked quietly.
"Nothing," Severus lied. The young professor's eyes had seemed so guarded and so cold compared to the way they had been when he had managed to catch the young man in an unguarded moment only a few hours earlier. The contrast was striking…and a little disturbing.
"You said you had a potion for me?" Harry startled Severus out of his thoughts.
"Yes," Severus explained, recovering quickly and mixing the draught. "This is stronger than the draught that Poppy keeps in the hospital wing and will take effect much more quickly. I would have given it to you earlier but you left the Hall before anyone else did."
"Why did you leave before we could discuss what we were going to do today?" Draco asked, curious.
"You were all talking about Harry Potter. I didn't think I'd be able to contribute anything helpful to the conversation since I didn't actually know him, so I came back here. I had some things to do anyway," Harry explained before quickly gulping down the potion and returning to the kitchenette to wash the cup out – thoroughly. Professor Snape's potions had a…lasting…aftertaste, and he certainly didn't want that flavour to linger in his cup.
"I don't think I could tell you much about him, I didn't know him that well. Ron, Hermione and Ginny would be able to talk to you for days about him though since they were all really close," Draco told him. Severus snorted derisively and Draco hushed him with a severe look.
Harry rolled his eyes at the older man's behaviour. "Why is it so important that you find him anyway? I mean, he's just one man, and there's so many of you in the Order" Harry asked, walking back into the lounge room and taking a seat among his books.
"I find it a little odd that you do not seem to want him to return," Severus commented.
Nuts! Why does he have to be so damn clever? "I've heard the stories about him, but I think they've been grossly exaggerated. I don't think it's even possible to do some of the things they say he's done. I don't know what kind of man he is but he's only one man, isn't he? And he'd probably return on his own anyway. I don't think Voldemort's return can be kept a secret for very long, do you?"
A tense silence filled the room and Harry sighed. "In any case, I didn't miss anything by leaving early. I'd already heard Albus call a meeting of the Order for today anyway, so I assumed someone would give me the details later," Harry told them, absently flipping a page in one of his books. So just tell me the details and leave me the hell alone, he urged them silently.
"There's something I wanted to ask you – actually, we're all a little curious to know – how did you know that those Death Eaters were only pretending to be Ministry officials. I know you cast a revealing spell over them, but I don't understand why you thought you needed to do that when you must have known that Albus would have scrutinised them before he allowed them into the school," Draco said, changing the subject.
Harry stopped fidgeting with his books and looked long and hard at the young man. "Are you suggesting that I had certain information about what was going to happen to day and that I kept it to myself, because if you are –"
"No," Draco interrupted quickly, "I was just curious, that's all."
Harry sighed and rubbed his tired eyes. "My Defence Against the Dark Arts instructor always made it a habit to cast a revealing spell over everyone as a matter of course. The war was a nervous time for everyone, and he ingrained that particular habit into his students. Old habits are hard to break, I guess."
"Your instructor sounds like a man of good sense," Professor Snape noted.
"He was," Harry nodded. "So what plans have been made for tomorrow?"
"Um, actually, there's going to be a meeting at the Order Headquarters…but, there are a few Order members you have yet to meet and Albus has arranged for you to safeguard the school while we attend the meeting and explain who you are. After tomorrow's meeting, we'll be able to introduce you to the others."
"Is that so?" he asked them coolly.
"Er…It's not an indication of trust, it's –"
"I'm not offended," Harry interrupted. Of course it's an indication of trust, but I don't care anymore, just as long as you all leave me alone.
"It's –" Draco began, but he was interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Now what?" Harry groaned, getting up to answer the door. "Professor Sprout, Theresa…er…this is a surprise."
"Miss Chan wouldn't believe any of us when we told her that everyone was alright and none of us were going to get any sleep until she checked on you, Professor Snape and Mr. Malfoy to make sure you were all okay," the Herbology professor sighed.
"Oh. Um, thank you, but you really don't need to worry. I'm fine, really."
"Are you sure?" Theresa asked, wringing her hands.
"Yes, very sure," he said gently. "Professor Snape and Mr. Malfoy are in here as well. Come in and take a look."
"We're fine. We really are…but thank you for your concern," Draco said. He was somewhat flattered that a non-Slytherin was worried about him, a Malfoy!
Draco and Severus looked at one another in surprise. They knew that Theresa was very fond of Professor Green and they'd seen the depth of her concern for her Defence against the Dark Arts professor before, but they were surprised that she'd also gone in search of them to make sure that they were also unhurt.
"We're all fine. We're just a little worn out right now," Harry assured her, putting a hand on her shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze.
"Are you sure? You're not just saying that, are you?" Theresa asked, visibly relaxing.
"No," Harry shook h is head. "Of course not."
"Okay. I just wanted to be sure," Theresa added, relieved that they were unhurt, but more than a little embarrassed that she had made such a scene in front of the professors and the students in her common room.
"Thank you," Harry said simply. "Why don't you try and get some sleep? Actually, I think we should all try and get some rest."
"Thank you." The Herbology professor sighed wearily as she ushered Theresa out of the room. "Now maybe we can all get some sleep."
"That was nice," Draco observed. "She's a lovely girl."
"Yeah," he replied, sighing as he made his way to his place on the floor, tripping over a book and knocking into the mantelpiece over the fireplace on his way. A photograph of Greg fell to the floor and he snatched it up quickly.
"Is that a friend of yours?" Draco asked curiously, watching Harry levitate the picture back to its place on the fireplace mantel.
Harry sat back down on the ground and looked back up at the picture. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry," Draco mumbled, sensing the young professor's unease.
Harry sighed and ran his hands through his hair, too tired to enter into an argument or deal with Draco's apologies. "He…was my partner."
"What, you mean like a research partner or – oh." Draco stopped when he realised that Harry wasn't talking about research partners in the slightest.
I had no idea! And I came right out and just about accused him of having a fling with Theresa as well! Draco mentally slapped himself, watching Harry adjust the picture on the mantelpiece. "That…must be hard with you being a professor and having to be at the school all the time," Draco blurted out, completely oblivious that Harry had referred to him in the past tense.
"He died, just before I started my professorship," he told them mechanically, closing his textbooks and marking his pages.
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry." Draco, cursed himself.
Professor Snape's eyes narrowed in thought.
"It's fine. I'm fine. Don't worry about it."
"If you need to…you know…talk or just have a big drinking session with someone – any time at all – you know where I am, okay?" Draco said sincerely.
"Thanks, but I think we should all try and get a few hours sleep. I think that calming potion worked a little too well," Harry told them, hoping that they'd pick up on the hint and leave.
"Come and see me if you require any other potions," Severus told him in a tone that brooked no disagreement.
"We'll talk to you tomorrow," Draco said, picking up on the hint.
"Sure," Harry told them as he showed them to the door and shut it behind him. Finally!
OOOOO
"He's gay," Draco observed to his friend.
"So it would seem."
"I never would have guessed."
"We don't walk about with signs on our heads. You are not supposed to be able to just point us out," the older man told his friend, his eyebrow raised.
"It's so sad that he lost his partner just before he got here. I guess working would have been the best thing for him, you know – to give him something to do so he wasn't just spending the whole day thinking about him. And there's certainly been enough happening around here to give him something to think about besides his partner," Draco noted.
"Indeed."
"He seems to be doing alright for the most part though, doesn't he? I mean, I think that explains why every now and then he walks about with bags the size of Wales under his eyes, but I never would have guessed he'd lost someone if he hadn't told me."
"That is quite odd in itself. If your wife had died, I am certain that I would have had to strap you to your bed and watch you twenty four hours a day, and it would be quite some time before I was sure you would not hurt yourself. However, I have not noticed anything about his behaviour to suggest to me that he had lost his partner. In hindsight I can recall minor things, but they did not mean anything at the time."
"I guess everybody deals with things differently. I mean, you're not an emotional person, in fact, you rarely even smile. Maybe he's the same."
"Perhaps," he murmured, unable to shake what he had seen in the young professor's eyes from his mind.
"On a different topic entirely, did he seem, I don't know… annoyed to you? I know the whole thing about…him…returning has everyone on edge, but I don't know. He seemed…angry," Draco observed to Professor Snape.
"Yes, he did," the older man agreed.
"You don't think he's taking the whole thing about not being invited to the Order meeting personally, do you?" Draco asked him.
"It is unlikely. He does not seem to take those sorts of things personally."
"Mind you, he's been pretty edgy since the fight last night; do you think he's still beating himself up because he ended up killing Mitchell?"
"Perhaps."
"He came down a little hard on himself over that. It was clearly self-defence though," Draco murmured to himself as he followed his friend down the hall back to his own rooms. "Do you remember when I told you last night that part of the reason I like Jason so much is because he just seems to make sense?"
"Vaguely."
"Well, I've changed my mind. He's confusing as hell," Draco muttered.
Severus smirked and continued down the dark corridor.
OOOOO
Draco, Ginny and the other Order members left the school after breakfast that morning to attend their meeting, leaving Harry to safeguard the school. When he'd asked why one of the more senior professors couldn't do that, Albus told him that his skills did more to recommend him for the task than their seniority.
With a sigh, he set about grading his students' papers in the Great Hall rather than in his rooms, so that he could be found easily if he was needed.
Some time later, Harry was interrupted when a young Ravenclaw rushed into the Hall and stopped breathlessly in front of his table.
"Professor! Professor! Please come quickly!"
"What is it? What's the matter?" Harry asked her, jumping to his feet and knocking a stack of papers over in the process.
"There's a fight – in the corridor. Please hurry sir, before she gets hurt," the young girl pleaded.
"Who?" Harry asked, quickly casting an imperturbable charm around his table so that no one could touch his work, before following the young girl out of the Hall.
"Theresa. Theresa Chan. She's my best friend, please hurry sir," the young girl cried, quickly leading Harry through the maze of corridors in the castle.
Harry turned into the hallway outside his classroom and came to an abrupt halt. A large crowd had gathered at the end of the corridor, but it was too thick for him to be able to see what was happening.
"Bloody hell!" he muttered before he cast Sonorus so that he could be heard above the noise of the crowd. "ALRIGHT! THAT'S ENOUGH!"
All of the noise stopped almost instantly. Nobody dared to move once they realised who had discovered them. While the young professor was a favourite among many of the students, they knew that he didn't tolerate foolishness. None of them were willing to do anything further to anger him, since they had just been caught fighting in the school halls.
"That's better," he said, removing the spell. "Now, what is going on here?" he asked, moving toward the crowd. The students nervously watched their professor, and they stood aside when he approached to reveal Theresa and a fifth year Ravenclaw with their wands out and still pointed at each other. Theresa had a large welt on her left cheek and her opponent had one on his chin.
"If someone doesn't answer my question you're all going to be serving detention with me right now," he threatened them.
The students exchanged worried glances.
"You know the rules about fighting in the school. We don't teach you how to use your magic so you can hurt each other," Harry said sternly when no one answered him.
Finally one of the students spoke up. "Um…sir…ah…Matthew was, um, saying some things about how Theresa was…worried… that you and Professor Snape and Mr Malfoy might have been hurt last night and about how she was really…keen…to make sure you were alright."
"Was he?" Harry asked quietly, watching Theresa's opponent squirm uncomfortably and look nervously at some of the students about him. "Did he say anything else?"
"Um…well…he said some things about…why…she might have been so worried," the student stammered.
Harry could guess where this was going and his eyes narrowed dangerously. Several of the students backed away from him when they saw this. "What sort of things did he say?"
"S-sir, he said that…it's not normal to worry so much about your professors…and that since she spends so much time with you and Professor Snape…she must be been so worried because…because…"
"Yes?" Harry prompted.
"…because she's involved with the two of you," the student squeaked, cringing at the thought of what his professor might do now that he'd heard that.
Matthew was visibly trembling by now and he looked at the professor with nothing short of terror in his eyes.
"I want to see everyone in my classroom. Right now," Harry commanded, magically opening his classroom door and standing aside to let them in.
The students all but ran into the room and Harry followed them in, closing the door loudly behind him making his students flinch. He leaned back against the door and folding his arms across his chest, regarding his students seriously. "I had hoped that I'd put an end to these ridiculous stories, but clearly I hoped for too much. I didn't teach you how to throw hexes and curses so that you could use them on each other. I taught them to you so that you could use them if you needed to. You both broke the school rules. I can appreciate why you might have been fighting, Miss Chan, but rules are rules, and they've been put in place to protect everyone."
Theresa nodded solemnly.
"All of our actions have consequences. The two of you could have injured someone with a stray hex, or even accidentally injured each other more seriously than you'd intended to. Do you understand?"
Matthew nodded.
"Yes sir, I do," Theresa said softly.
"And the rest of you," Harry began, shifting his gaze to the rest of the students, "encouraged them to fight."
The students shifted nervously and looked at the ground.
"Now, let's talk about why you were fighting. Do you think the stories you were shouting about were true?" Harry asked, looking sternly at Matthew.
"N-no, sir," the young boy stammered, quailing under his professor's gaze.
"I don't want you to tell me what you think I want to hear, I want you to tell me the truth. What makes you think that Professor Snape and I are taking advantage of our student?" Harry asked, raising his voice.
Matthew flinched.
"You are right that Miss Chan spends some of her time taking extra tutorials with both Professor Snape and myself, but I would think that the improvement in her test scores should speak for itself, wouldn't you?"
"Y-yes, sir."
"Do you believe these ridiculous stories?"
"No, sir."
"So why are you yelling them about?" Harry asked, raising his voice again and watching his students flinch. "You should be old enough to understand that everything you do has its own consequences. Spreading gossip about one of your friends and two of your professors can have serious consequences. These are serious allegations. Didn't you learn anything when the reporters were here a few weeks ago? Did you even think about what would happen if this had gotten out of hand and people put pressure on the Ministry to conduct another investigation?"
Matthew was trembling and looking anywhere but at his professor. "Professor Dumbledore and the rest of the teachers are in no doubt that those stories were absolutely untrue and they'd be very annoyed – to say the very least – about having to entertain another investigation. They'll also be very angry that one of their students and two of their colleagues will unnecessarily come under scrutiny from the public and the Ministry – again. People don't forget those sorts of stories, regardless of whether they're true or not. Even if it comes to light that they aren't true, people still look at you and wonder," Harry said harshly, remembering how he felt when the entire school had thought he was Salazar Slytherin's heir and that he had been commanding a basilisk to attack the other students. It turned out that Tom Riddle had been Slytherin's heir and had been working through Ginny to command the basilisk about the school, but Harry could still see how people looked at him when they thought he wasn't looking.
The young professor pushed himself off the door and began to pace slowly around the room, looking hard at his students, who were doing their level best to keep out of his path.
"Did you think that this must all be very embarrassing for Theresa? How do you think I might have felt about having my professional reputation attacked by a student?" Harry snapped. He was not normally this severe with his students, but his temper had been close to the surface since the previous evening, and his students' behaviour had caused it to deteriorate very quickly.
He sighed deeply. "You're lucky Professor Snape isn't here. I don't think he would take the time to explain why it's important to think about the effect your actions might have on others. I'm certain that he would give you all detention and let you learn about the virtues of being respectful to your professors and fellow students that way. As it is, you'll all serve detention with me this evening after dinner."
Harry took a quill and blank parchment from his desk and handed it to the student who was standing closest to him.
"Put your name on the parchment so I'll know who to expect this evening. Don't even think about putting someone else's name down or not putting your name down at all, because if I find out that anyone did that, they'll be serving extra detentions," he told them, hurrying to answer the knock at his door. Quickly recovering from his momentary surprise, he stood aside to let Albus, Severus, Minerva, Ron, Hermione, Draco and Ginny into the classroom.
"I didn't expect you back for hours," Harry said, covering his momentary shock.
"One of the students told us we might find you in this part of the castle. We have matters to discuss, when you have a moment," Albus told him quietly.
"Of course." The young professor nodded quickly, closing the door behind the group.
"Er, you must be keen to hold extra classes on a Sunday, though Defence Against the Dark Arts must have changed since I was a student. They look absolutely terrified! I never looked like that in any of my classes, and none of my students leave my classroom looking like that either – though some of Professor Snape's do." Ron grinned at Harry and missed the glare that Severus had levelled at the back of his head.
"I'm not exactly conducting a lesson," Harry muttered.
"In that case, what are you doing?" Albus asked calmly.
Harry sighed and explained to the why he had gathered the group of students into his room.
"I had thought that we had put this all behind us," the Headmaster said quietly.
"So had I," Harry agreed.
"No wonder they look worried. I would be too, if I were them," Ron said evenly, watching the students quail under the furious glares of the professors.
"I assume you have given them all detention," Professor Snape asked Harry, regarding the group of students before him with an ominous gaze.
"Yes. They will be seeing me this evening."
"Since I am also one of the subjects of this gossip, they will serve one week of detention with me, beginning tomorrow evening at 8pm. As Miss Chan is also a subject of this foolish rumour-mongering, and as she is already serving a detention with you, she is excused from my detention." The students didn't dare protest, but they did look at each other with very worried expressions.
"And, in light of the circumstances, allow me to note, Miss Chan's improvement in her duelling skills." The Potions Master smirked, looking pointedly at the gash decorating Matthew's chin.
"Let me add my notice to Professor Snape's," Harry seconded.
Theresa blushed with a mixture of pride and embarrassment and looked down at her feet.
"I do not look lightly upon these matters," the Headmaster addressed his students. "I believe you will have been thoroughly punished by the time you finish serving detention with Professors Snape and Green,"
"I'll say," muttered Ron.
"So I will not give you additional punishment. Never, insult the reputations of my staff or students again. Do I make myself clear?" The students paled under their Headmaster's angry tones.
"Y-yes, sir," they mumbled together.
"Good. Professor Green? When you have a moment."
"Of course. Since you're all here anyway, just let me clear the room out and we can talk here, if that suits you," Harry suggested.
"That will suit us very well," Albus agreed.
"Have you all put your names on that piece of parchment?" Harry asked his students, prompting them back into action. "Once you've all done that, I want you to move all the desks and chairs to the side of the room, ready for my class on Monday – without magic," Harry instructed, leaning casually against one of the desks.
"How does it feel to know that one of your students got into a fight to defend your honour?" Draco whispered slyly to Severus.
"Do not be absurd. It is not me she did this for," the Potions Master snapped irritably.
"Maybe not just you, but I think after last night – well, actually I guess it was this morning – it's clear that you're at least a part of the reason she took on somebody who comes close to being about twice her size. I must say, though, that in my day the men defended the women from the stains of dishonour, not the other way around."
"I think I have already mentioned that I have quite a few things in my store cupboards that can effectively seal your mouth shut forever."
"You might have mentioned it once or twice," Draco teased, and though he was tempted to say more, he silenced himself when he noticed Theresa approaching them.
"Excuse me, Professor," she began nervously. "Um, since you'll be supervising detentions during the time I'm supposed to be seeing you for a tutorial, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind re-scheduling the lesson. I'd really rather not miss it, but I'd understand if you were too busy to make the lesson up."
Severus regarded the young girl carefully. "Miss Chan, I have no objections to re-scheduling your tutorial; however, I had thought we had moved past the stage where you felt nervous in my presence."
"Er…" she stammered, shifting her feet from side to side. "I…er…"
"If you're worried about having caused any problems today, don't be," Draco told her gently, reading her pained expression like an open book.
Theresa turned to the young man in surprise. "I really didn't mean for –"
"You have done nothing to make me angry with you. I thought I had made that clear," the Potions Master said, matter-of-factly.
"I thought…well…I was breaking the rules. Professor Green explained how all of our actions have their own consequences and how we should think about things like that. And I really didn't think about that, but I accept now how foolish it was to start duelling in the corridors…"
"As a member of staff I cannot comment on the matter," Severus said carefully, looking at his friend who was casting a furtive look around him to make sure Albus wasn't in ear shot.
"I'm not a member of staff though, so technically, I can make all the comments I like – providing the Headmaster doesn't hear me," Draco said, winking at the young girl.
Theresa giggled quietly.
"Professor Green had to give you a detention for fighting in the hallways – the school rules require him to do it. Besides, he does make a good point. Every action has its own consequences, and in this particular case someone could have ended up hurt today. As a Hogwarts professor, he can't exactly encourage that behaviour, and neither can Professor Snape," Draco explained, glancing at his friend who stood stoically beside him. "Trust me though, none of the teachers here – or Mrs. Malfoy or myself – are angry with you."
"Are you sure? Even Professor Green?" the young girl asked in a small voice, glancing quickly at her favourite professor.
"Of course. He was more annoyed that you had to get involved at all than anything else, as are the rest of us. You're a subject of this ridiculous gossip as well, and it must be tiresome for you to have to keep defending yourself against these claims, not to mention embarrassing for a young girl like yourself," Draco assured her.
Severus cleared his throat in warning, and when Draco looked around him he spotted the Headmaster approaching.
"I suggest having our tutorial on Saturday morning directly after breakfast, if that time suits you," the Potions Master said, before Draco could say anything more.
"Theresa," Albus greeted her. "If you would like to see Madam Pomfrey she will be able to close that gash on your cheek for you."
"Thank you, sir," she said quietly without quite meeting her Headmaster's gaze. "And thank you, Professor, that time is fine." She glanced quickly at her Potions Master.
"You are welcome." Professor Snape bowed his head. He always had time for his students who were genuine about learning, and Theresa's dedication and interest in his subject endeared her to him in this regard.
"I am certain that between the two of them, Professors Snape and Green will be able to make their detentions…educational enough that the reasons for them will not be forgotten so quickly. Once word of those detentions gets out among the student body, I think you will find that the students will be somewhat reluctant to continue to speculate about the nature of your relationship with my professors," Albus assured the young girl.
Theresa looked up at her Headmaster with obvious relief, but her relief turned to concern when Draco hissed and grabbed his left forearm tightly, his jaw clenched. She noticed that her Potions Master had also grabbed his left forearm, and she could see the muscles along his jaw line clenching in an effort to appear as though nothing was wrong.
The staff looked on, frightened of the significance of their actions, while the small group of students before them looked at the two men with interest, whispering among themselves. Theresa looked at the two men with obvious confusion, but her confusion turned to irritation when she noticed that the other students had already begun pointing at them and gossiping. She deliberately moved so that she was standing directly in front of the two men, doing her best to shield them from the view of the rest of the students with her thin frame.
Before the Headmaster could usher the students out of the room, a groan broke through the room followed by a loud thud where the formidable Defence Against the Dark Arts professor had collapsed to the ground.
OOOOO
The Dark Lord's three most talented potion makers and his two strongest spell casters silently finished dressing the body. They levitated it to lay on one of the two tables, sitting side by side in the middle of the damp, murky room. The Dark Lord had needed these five particular wizards to restore the body, which had been resting for centuries in the Museum of Mystery and Magic, so that it was fit for him to inhabit.
He watched, hardly able to contain his anticipation as his followers silently dressed the body and then respectfully stepped back from the table.
"My Lord, it is ready," one of the wizards said quietly.
"Excellent," their Master hissed, casting an appraising eye over the body lying on the next table. The features were prominent and sharp, and the body was a testament to strength and power. It would be a marvellous thing to inhabit this man's body.
"The spell, cast it!" he fervently commanded. "Now!"
"Advantes Restorum!" a wizard cried, sending a powerful jet of light toward the shapeless mass. All of the wizards unconsciously took a step back as they watched their Master's form slowly fade to become what appeared to be the barest whisper of smoke, floating off the table and into the body lying next to it.
Nothing happened for quite some time, and the wizards peered cautiously at the body, wondering if their efforts had been futile. Suddenly, the body stirred. Its eyes snapped open and its chest heaved. It shifted about, touching at parts of his newfound body as if to make sure he was real.
"My Lord?" one of the wizards asked cautiously.
"It has been eight years, eight long years, since I was forced to go into hiding. My devoted servants, who have toiled at my behest all these years, have no fear – your faithfulness will be rewarded." He eased himself off the table, flexing limbs and muscles that hadn't been used in centuries. "However, those who have betrayed me, and those who have worked to undermine me to avoid what is destined to be; have no fear – Voldemort will exact payment," his lip curled, "and oh, how the price will be dear."
"Yes, my Lord, and this time you will not have Harry Potter to stand in your way."
"And why do you suggest that?" Voldemort hissed
"He has not been seen or heard of since the last battle, my Lord."
"Fools! He is alive. I can feel it. We…how shall I put it? Share a bond, a connection, and I can still feel him at the other end of our link." His red eyes narrowed dangerously. "He has been lucky up until now. I blame myself for having underestimated him too many times, but he is nothing to me. I can deal with him whenever I choose."
Voldemort admired his new body in the mirror standing against one of the walls in the room.
"I have been waiting a long time for this moment, and it is only fitting that the body I have chosen is the body of my own ancestor, the great Salazar Slytherin." He gazed at his reflection for a long time before turning slowly around and facing the five wizards in the room. "However, as admirable as your dedication has been…you have all failed me. I told you to kill the traitors before I returned."
"My Lord, we – we are sorry," one of the robed men whispered, keeping his eyes submissively low.
"I do not tolerate failure well," he hissed. "Hold out your arm," he commanded the man, who obeyed immediately and nervously thrust out his left forearm. "But there is nothing we can do about it now," he hissed in soft, menacing tones, touching his finger to the Dark Mark on his follower's arm. It burned a dark black and alerted all of his followers to his return. In moments, his followers would apparate to his side.
"I think I'll give Potter a gift, something to show him that I'm still thinking of him," Voldemort sneered. He raised his hands in the air and unleashed wave upon wave of dark and malevolent magical energy into the room, causing it to shake and tremble, laughing wickedly the entire time. "Enjoy that Potter," he smirked, lowering his arms. "I know I did."
OOOOO
Harry was on his knees, one hand pressed tightly to the scar on his head and the other hand on the ground, trying to steady himself. The pain in his scar was excruciating and seemed to be coming at him in surges. He was in hell.
"Oh my God! Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop!" he begged to no one in particular, clenching his teeth together tightly and breathing heavily, trying to stave off the pain.
"Professor!" Theresa cried, but before she could move to his side, Harry stopped her.
"Don't come any closer!" he cried without looking up.
"But –"
"No…It's too dangerous," Harry grunted as he was engulfed by a fresh surge of pain. "OH YOU SON OF A – AAUUGGHH – BITCH YOU'RE MEANT TO BE DEAD!" he screamed, clutching his forehead desperately with one hand and slamming a fist onto the ground with the other.
Everybody was transfixed by what they were seeing. Several sets of eyes in the room looked back and forth between Harry, who was holding his head and screaming his throat raw, and Professor Snape and Draco, who were still holding their forearms. Suddenly Albus' eyes widened and he inhaled sharply – "Harry?!"
"What?" gasped several voices around him. "It can't be!"
"Not Harry Potter!"
"He's been here all this time?"
Draco stared at Harry in surprise and Severus hissed in disbelief.
"No," he whispered, shaking his head and taking a step back.
"Severus," Draco said quietly but firmly.
At that simple command, the older man shook his head and assumed his customary stoic demeanour.
"You need to leave – get away – now!" Harry gasped, sweat from his exertion dripping onto the floor.
"But –"
"I can't – I can't – NOW!" he yelled out, looking up at them for the first time and seeing the shock and fear on their faces.
"Professor –" Theresa began.
"Go!" he cried. Most of the students ran from the room, and most of the staff looked ready to leave as well.
"Let's go..." Draco told Theresa, grabbing her arm and dragging her away. She shrieked, as she heard an almighty scream tear from Harry's throat and felt someone throw her to the ground.
The restraints over his magic gave way, and a force of raw magical energy was unleashed – throwing some people to the ground, and causing furniture around him to shatter and splinter spectacularly. It sent debris flying from one end of the hall to the other, knocking people to the floor. Thankfully – mercifully – a large piece of debris knocked Harry across his head and knocked him unconscious as well, reining his magic in.
Everybody stayed as they were on the ground, not daring move for some time. Slowly, one by one, people began to peek out from behind their hands. When they felt it was safe they began to stand up, dusting themselves off and picking their way through the debris in the hall.
Theresa broke free of Draco's hold and ran to her favourite professor's side.
"Theresa, no!" Draco cried out, but she had escaped before he'd had a chance to recover from the ordeal. In fact, he was still trembling.
"It is far too dangerous for anyone to be near him right now," Professor Snape called out, picking himself up off the floor.
The young girl didn't seem to hear them as she ran from them. "Oh, God," she whispered when she reached his side. Harry was drenched in sweat and as white as a ghost, except for the red marks on his forehead where he'd gripped his head so tightly.
"Find Poppy straight away. Tell her what has happened and ask her to come down here. I expect you will need to help her to carry a few things – potions and the like," Albus quietly instructed a wide-eyed and pale Minerva, who nodded and left immediately.
"I don't think you realise who that is," Draco warned Theresa when he caught up to her.
"I know what his name is, and it doesn't matter. He's not dangerous. He's not even awake," she told Draco and the professors as they arrived.
Ginny and Hermione joined Theresa on the ground, and together they gently rolled Harry onto his back. No words were necessary among the three; they were brought together by their shared concern for the young man lying before them. Ginny carefully lifted Harry's head so that Theresa could place her folded robes underneath, so it wouldn't rest on the cold hard floor. The rest of the staff had discreetly formed a circle around them, shielding them from the view of the other students and anxiously looking on themselves.
"What the hell was that?" Ron asked, looking slightly wild about the eyes.
"That was Harry…I think," Albus said quietly, still too shocked to be able to manage anything more.
"So, you're telling me that 'Jason' has been Harry – our Harry – all along?"
"It would seem so."
"Holy shit!"
"I agree," Ginny murmured, gently stroking Harry's hair and forehead.
Albus moved to stand very close to Severus and Draco. "There can be no doubt about what your reactions, and Harry's, mean, can there?" he asked just loudly enough for them to hear.
"None at all," Severus answered gravely.
"I see." Albus lowered his head in thought.
"I can't believe he was right here," Hermione said quietly, holding Harry's hand and looking like she was about to cry. "I should have realised. Now that I think about it there were a hundred little things that gave him away every day…but I didn't see it. He's changed so much."
Ron growled, struggling to accept that it was really Harry lying in front of him. It couldn't have been a coincidence that 'Professor Green' had crashed to the floor when Severus' and Draco's forearms began to burn. The connection was plain to see and a war of emotions raged within the young man. "He may have changed, but there's no doubt that it's really him – and I'm going to kill him!"
Theresa looked up in alarm, but she decided against saying anything when she caught the fierceness of the Muggle Studies professor's expression.
"Why would he lie to us? We're his best friends," Hermione thought aloud.
"I intend to ask him when he wakes up," Ron told her grimly.
"There can't be any doubt now," Ginny whispered, tracing Harry's faintly visible scar with her thumb.
Theresa leaned in and squinted with the effort of trying to see it. Everybody in the wizarding world had heard about Harry Potter's scar, and she'd seen pictures of it, but in all the time she'd seen him, she had never noticed a scar on her Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor's forehead until now.
"I thought it was meant to be, well, darker than that."
"It was," Ginny told her, puzzled.
"Oh! My goodness!" Madam Pomfrey cried when she entered the room, interrupting the young witches. The medi-witch would have lifted a hand to her mouth but her arms were full of bandages and the other first aid equipment that Minerva, who had followed her to the room, was unable to carry. A few people had been hurt or knocked unconscious in the blast and the room was littered with debris from the furniture that had been blown apart.
"Poppy – excellent," Albus greeted her, magically shutting and locking the door behind them.
"What on earth happened?" she asked, moving briskly to one of the unconscious students and setting her supplies down on the floor.
"He has returned," Albus told her very quietly. Madame Pomfrey was one of the Order's own medi-witches now, and she was kept fully informed of the Order's activities.
"That may be so, but it doesn't explain what happened here," she told him, unstoppering a few vials.
The Headmaster hesitated, not quite sure how to explain. "Harry Potter has returned as well."
Poppy froze in the act of pouring the contents from one of the vials and stared open mouthed at the Headmaster for some time before she finally recovered herself. "Well, that does explain what happened here, I suppose. But –"
"I will explain everything when I receive a few answers myself. It would seem that our Professor Jason Green was, in reality, our very own Harry Potter."
"No! But…how…" she spluttered.
"I would like to know that myself." Albus nodded grimly.
Poppy pursed her lips in thought. "Where is he? If he did all of this, perhaps I should treat him first."
"He appeared to be in considerable pain for some time before he passed out, but it seemed to be entirely related to his scar," Albus informed her, glancing quickly at the young man.
"I see. In that case, all he can do is rest. I'll be able to give him a few potions when he wakes up, but I won't be able to do anything until then," she sighed, turning back to the student before her.
OOOOO
"Excuse me, dears," Poppy said in her most business like manner, bustling over to Harry's side with Minerva trailing, her arms loaded down with some of Poppy's equipment.
"Be careful, you know how he sometimes used to get when his scar would play up," Ron called out to her.
"Thank you Mr. Weasley, I know what I am doing," she rebuked him crisply, kneeling down on the ground and pushing up her sleeves.
The medi-witch murmured a few spells before gathering her things together and standing up. "That's all I can do for him at the moment, I'm afraid."
"But he's still unconscious," Theresa said in some confusion.
The medi-witch looked gravely at her. "Dear, I've had some experience with this…sort of thing, and it won't do any good to try to revive him with magic. He needs to come out of this himself, so it's the hospital wing for him. Just let me get cleaned up and gather all of my things together."
"How long do you think it will be before he wakes up?"
"It's hard to say. He's just exhausted right now, that's all. There's nothing for you to worry about."
"Yes there is," Theresa murmured almost inaudibly, unable to shake the image of her professor screaming and clutching his head out of her mind.
"Maybe we should set up a private room for him; we'll need to talk to him when he wakes up," Albus suggested to the medi-witch.
"Maybe that would be best."
"And maybe you should lock him in so he can't run away again," Ron suggested angrily.
"I agree," Hermione added, her eyes red and puffy from crying.
"Ron, Hermione," Ginny rebuked, glancing/ significantly at Theresa.
"Do you really think a locked door will keep Harry in? I think that we should perhaps simply have someone watch him until he wakes up and have someone alert us when he comes around," Albus objected, stroking his beard thoughtfully.
"Is that a good idea? I mean, what if he decides to do…this…again?" asked Ron, viciously.
"Oh come on!" Ginny cried. "You know as well as I do that he doesn't just decide to do things like this. And…the thing that set him off…" Ginny described vaguely with a glance at Theresa, "…doesn't happen everyday, does it? It's not likely that it'll happen again."
"No wonder he didn't want to go near veritaserum," Draco observed grimly. Severus nodded.
"Would you all stop talking about me as if I wasn't in the room?" Harry growled, his voice husky from all the screaming he'd done. He was still trembling and a little dizzy, and was finding it difficult to get back on his feet. Once he managed to stand up, Ron stepped forward and punched him clean in the face before he'd had a chance to regain his balance. Harry stumbled backwards and landed on the ground with a heavy thud, sighing and rubbing his jaw as he clumsily picked himself back up again.
Several people gasped and Theresa clapped her hands to her mouth, stunned.
"That one was free," Harry said, picking himself up again and standing unsteadily on his feet, rubbing his jaw. He looked Ron square in the eye. "Don't do that again," he told them in a very chilly voice. Ron stared back at him fiercely, his hand gripping his wand tightly by his side.
"Did anyone get hurt?" Harry asked, looking about the room with worry.
"Everybody is fine, dear," Madam Pomfrey assured him.
He nodded slowly, apparently satisfied. "The students need to leave, right now."
Albus arranged for Madam Pomfrey to take the students to the hospital wing and keep them there until he had a chance to speak with them before unlocking the door and ushering them out of the room.
"He's right," Draco said softly to Theresa, who looked as though she wanted to protest.
"I'm not a nice man," he said, looking at Theresa whose eyes widened in surprise and fear, "and it's too dangerous for you to be anywhere near me, just ask any one of them," he said, nodding his head toward the group of adults in front of him, "they'll tell you."
The young girl turned to look at Harry before she left. "You're wrong, you know. If you weren't a nice man, you wouldn't have cared whether or not anyone got hurt."
Harry looked closely at everybody in the room and, deciding that he didn't like his chances of escaping without being hexed, he erected a simple shield about himself with a flick of his wrist and a few muttered phrases. In his already weakened state, it took a great deal out of him to do this, but this would ultimately save him the effort of having to repeatedly defend himself against any spells that may be thrown his way. It wouldn't, however, save him from any more punches that Ron might decide to throw at him.
"Harry? Is that really you?" Ginny asked. Harry wearily nodded his head.
Ron tried to lunge at Harry again, but Draco and Ginny caught his arms. "You absolute bastard!" he yelled as he tried to hex Harry. His spell deflected harmlessly from his shield. "Eight years, damn it! You were missing for eight years! We didn't know where you'd gone, or even if you were still alive."
Harry sighed and stumbled to the nearest wall, leaning back against it wearily and running his hands through his hair. "I'm sorry. I really am, but I had to leave. You couldn't possibly understand," he said half to himself, unable to look at anyone.
"What do you mean you had to leave?" asked Ron viciously.
"I didn't want you to find out like this. I was going to tell you myself…I left so you would be safe," Harry mumbled.
"You'd killed Voldemort – or so we'd thought – and we'd been fighting Death Eaters while you were away, so what exactly did you think you were keeping us safe from?"
"Do you think Voldemort is the only thing you need to worry about?" Harry rubbed at his tired eyes. "I knew you'd be upset and you have every right to be angry, but I didn't have any other choice."
"You could have at least mentioned what you were going to do or where you were going. We were your best friends and you didn't tell us anything! How do you think we felt? Did you even stop to think about what you were putting us through?"
Harry looked up and regarded his friend carefully. "Do you think I didn't think about you? A day hasn't passed since I started training after fifth year when I haven't thought of you guys. I loved you. You were my family."
"If you loved us, you've got a funny way of showing us. Family doesn't just leave one another. Family stays in touch with one another –"
"Family looks after one another," Harry interrupted Ron, his temper rising. "And while we're on the topic of people leaving each other, let me refresh your memory. I didn't leave you. I was the one that all of you left behind."
"You've got to be kidding! You left all of us. In fact, the last time Hermione and I heard from you was about two months before we started our sixth year."
"When I told you both that Albus wanted to send me away to be trained, you told me that it was a good idea, that if it improved my chances of surviving whatever Voldemort could throw at me then I should go."
"Well, it did, didn't it?" Ron asked.
"I never saw any of you again!" Harry cried. "I took a portkey to a training location and was left there with a bunch of instructors. I never saw you or Hermione again! I never even heard from the two of you. I heard from Albus though. Three months into my training Albus started sending requests that I begin field work – 'scouting trips', weren't they?" he asked glaring coldly at the Headmaster and remembering exactly what all of those 'scouting trips' and 'information gathering missions' had involved. Albus looked away from the young man, unable to bear the pain evident behind that gaze.
"You were not the only one on those sorts of assignments," Albus said softly.
"No, I guess I wasn't, but every time I started to feel…overwhelmed, or even show the smallest sign of becoming upset I was given dreamless sleep potion, or calming draughts or numbing elixirs. What good are they to a boy, for Heaven's sake? How could you take a boy away from everyone he cared about and leave him on his own, with only a room full of potions to get him through?"
Some of the witches and wizards gasped and their eyes widened with shock. Even Severus, who was normally unshakeable, arched an eyebrow. Only a few select people had known what had happened to Harry all those years ago, and he hadn't been one of them. He didn't want to know either, because what he didn't know couldn't be forced out of him.
"I had responsibilities –"
"The only thing that helped me to keep my head in school was my friends and you kept them from me," Harry gritted out from between clenched teeth.
"There was no secret about who you were close to when you were younger, and I thought it safest that they have absolutely no idea about where you might be, who you might be with or what you might be doing so that if, by chance, they were captured and tortured for information, they could not reveal that information."
"I would have been careful!"
"You said yourself that you needed a friend during those years. I have no doubt you would have tried to be careful, but you would have inevitably let something slip, and that I could not risk."
"Their safety was never an issue. They could have been captured at any time and they still would have been able to give away sensitive information. We all spent the summer before fifth year at headquarters and we knew more about what was going on than you thought we did."
"But the safety of the rest of the world was an issue. If Voldemort had discovered that you were being trained, he would more than likely have accelerated his plans, before you were ready for him."
"You can never be ready for someone like that," Harry muttered coldly.
"We didn't want to leave you," Hermione said quietly. "And we didn't know that we'd never see you again either. Albus only told us after you'd left that we weren't to contact you or to even try and find out where you'd gone because when everyone found out you were missing, they'd be watching us to see if we could lead them to you, since we were your best friends."
"The three of us used to do a lot of things that Albus told us not to do," Harry said, narrowing his eyes at her.
"You're being unreasonable! We didn't want to get you killed!"
"That's laughable. I'd be more worried that fighting Voldemort was going to get me killed."
"So why did you leave? We went straight to the hospital after the battle and you weren't there. No one knew where you'd gone," Ron asked, still glaring fiercely at Harry.
"I've already told you. It was for your own good. I –"
"I don't care much for people doing things for my own good, especially when they claim to –"
"Neither do I!" Harry cried angrily. "But people have been doing things for my own good – I've been having to do things for my own good – my whole life. It sucks, doesn't it? Welcome to my world!"
"Yes, but –" Ron began, but stopped himself when he caught the furious expression on Harry's face.
"I still think you could have stayed," Hermione said in a quiet voice. "Now don't fly off the handle, but I've listened to everything you've said and I still think you should have stayed, or at least let us know how to contact you, because we would still have wanted to find you, even in spite of the danger you said existed for us. We love you, Harry. We didn't stop loving you just because we didn't see you for three years. We didn't contact you while you were training because Albus and the Order were preventing us from doing it and we didn't want to lead Voldemort to you, but no one was stopping us from finding you when the war ended, except you. Did you really have to leave the wizarding world?"
Harry sighed. "I…attract a certain amount of attention, and I hate it. Always have. It was only going to get worse if I stayed." Harry stopped, looking around to see if everyone believed him. Well, that's half the reason anyway, he thought grimly to himself.
"That is not the real reason you left, is it?" Professor Snape asked, his eyes studying Harry's face.
Harry looked at him carefully. Damn it Snape! Why do you have to be so bloody clever? "I didn't like who I was becoming…who I became." he all but whispered. "I did things…and saw…" he began, trying to stop images of people being tortured and killed flashing in front of his eyes. Taking a deep breath and shaking his head to clear it, he tried again. "I like Jason. He's the man I'd like to have become. Harry was…different. He wasn't allowed to be like Jason."
Interesting… thought Severus.
"They were necessary to –" Ron began, trying to grapple with what Harry was saying but Harry cut across him.
"Don't lecture me about how we all made the sacrifices that were required of us. I did a lot of…things…because I was required to do them. When will I be allowed to tell necessity to take a hike and do what I want to do? When can I have what I want?!" he cried angrily, shocking everyone in the room into silence for a few moments.
"What do you want?" Hermione asked pleadingly.
"I don't know," he replied honestly, softening his voice. "I really don't. I thought I had it, but I lost him before I woke up one morning," Harry said quietly.
Harry turned and headed unsteadily toward the door. "Where are you going?" Ginny cried.
"Don't tell me you're running away again. For someone who is supposed to have enough courage in them to be sorted into Gryffindor and fight Voldemort face to face, you certainly are quite good at running away!" Ron said furiously.
Harry stopped, the rebuke from his best friend finding a sore spot in him. "Why don't you just sod off! You've got no idea what you're talking about." A few people gasped. It wasn't so much what Harry had said that had shocked them, but the cold and flat way he'd said it. A few more gasps could he heard when Harry unlocked the door to the Hall without his wand. "I don't run away from things like this. I can't afford to."
"I just –" Ginny began.
"Look, I'm bloody tired and I've got a headache the size of London, so you'll excuse me if I seem a little short. Right now I'm just looking for a bed – and a headache potion."
"Well, after –" Albus tried to say before he was also cut off.
"I'm not going anywhere, Albus," Harry said bitterly. "I have to stay somewhere in the wizarding world now that Voldemort is back, so it may as well be here. Just leave me alone for a while. I just need to… think."
"I just –" Ginny began yet again.
"What?" he asked, quickly reaching the end of his patience.
Ginny cringed back. "I – I just wanted to – that's not what you really look like, is it? I cast a revealing spell over you a little while ago, but – you don't look like Harry," she said in a small voice.
Harry stared at her for a few moments, a little ashamed of himself for being so short with the girl he'd always thought of as a sister. "I'm wearing a concealment spell, but it's not like the ones you're used to seeing," he replied. "I'm wearing contact lenses as well because, well, everyone knows what colour my eyes are and that I'm as blind as a bat," he said more softly. "I'd really rather not remove the concealment spell right now though. I'm absolutely buggered and I just want to lie down."
Ginny nodded and he turned, opened the door, and staggered out of the classroom. He let himself into his rooms and all but crawled to his study where he kept his potions. A couple of vials of headache potion was all he needed, and he quickly found what he was looking for and stumbled to the bedroom. Harry put the vials on his bedside table and dropped unceremoniously onto the bed, massaging his forehead and working himself up to taking the potions.
It surprised Harry that the thought of his friends despising him caused him just as much pain as the thought that he would have to face Voldemort again. He had always felt that he could face anything as long as he had his friends behind him and knew that they supported him. The thought that he would be alone when he fought that monster again was almost more than he could bear and he couldn't stop the silent tears that fell.
You brought this entirely on yourself, you know. It's your fault that Voldemort isn't dead, and it's certainly your fault that they're all mad at you. You'd be mad at you too if you were them.
With that final thought, he dragged himself up and lay back against the pillows, reaching out for one of the vials and unstoppering it with one shaking hand. He was trembling so much that some of the liquid splashed onto his arm, his clothes and his bed sheets, but he didn't care. He put the vial to his mouth and threw his head back, downing the contents in one go. He did the same with the rest of the vials and fell back into a partially exhausted, partially potion induced sleep.