Chapter Seven: Straitjacket Feeling
Back me down from backing up
Hold your breath now it's stacking up
Etched with marks, but I can deal
And you're the problem and you can't feel
Try this on, straitjacket feeling
So maybe I won't be alone
Take back now, my life you're stealing
Emma
"How'd your night go?" I asked the guys when I got back from my first night at my new job.
"Great, until this idiot tried to feed Danica cheerios. She doesn't even have any teeth!" Jay complained.
"Hey, at least I'm trying. You were supposed to be teaching me!" Craig yelled.
"Guys, I really don't want to hear all of this crap. I'm tired," I complained. "You don't need to fight. Thanks for helping out Jay, I'll see you later," I said, pushing him out the door.
"Glad he's gone," Craig sighed when I closed the door.
"You really should be nicer. He loves her you know," I glared at him. I don't know why I was getting defensive about Jay. I just don't need them hating each other for no reason.
"Whatever. Dani's asleep and I think I'm just gonna go to bed too. I have to find a job tomorrow," he said. "I don't have class until 2."
"Do you want me to make up the couch for you?" I asked him.
"Nah. I can do it."
"Okay, there are pillows and blankets in the closet over there," I pointed.
"Goodnight Emma," he said, kissing me on the cheek and walking to the closet.
"Night Craig." I took a shower so I would have more time to get Danica dressed and ready in the morning. Then I walked through the living room, where Craig was already asleep on the pullout. I got in my pajamas and climbed into bed. Rolling over, I rubbed the spot where Oliver would be sleeping.
I couldn't stop it. The tears spilled over as soon as I thought about him. It happened last night. Crying myself to sleep is the only way for me now. I just need him so much.
Waking up with yet another headache, I took a few pain killers, got dressed, and went to see if Danica was awake. I got into the living room and Craig wasn't there. I shrugged it off, figuring he got an early start on his job hunting. So I went into Dani's room to get her…and she wasn't there either.
I panicked. I started breathing heavy and crying. Where is she? Then I saw the note.
Emma,
I decided to take Danica to the park for an early morning walk. Hope you don't mind. We should be back by six thirty.
Craig
I'm gonna kill him! This is my daughter that he just took out without permission. He may be her father, but he's got a lot to learn before he can watch her alone. I looked at my watch: 6:35. He's not back yet. I grabbed my jacket and jumped in the car.
Driving as fast as I could, I got to the park. There he was, sitting on a park bench, holding Dania. Her stroller was next to them. He looked so happy, but I was pissed.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I yelled as I stormed up to him. The smile on his face instantly disappeared. He looked confused.
"Emma, I was only taking her out for a walk. I left you a note!" he said, trying to reason with me.
"The note also said that you were going to be back by 6:30 and you weren't! Craig you can't just take her without asking me. She may be your daughter, but you've never watched her alone before. I remember how it went when you practiced with my baby brother. You had me worried sick!" I started to cry as I yelled at him.
"I'm sorry!" he yelled back. I didn't think it would be this big of a deal. She was crying, and you weren't awake yet, so I just took her," he said.
"Do it again and I'm kicking you out," I spat. I grabbed Dani from him. "And you can walk home with an empty stroller!" I yelled over my shoulder as I walked away.
Yesterday was hell
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me again
"Craig! What are you doing?" I yelled. It was already Sunday, and Craig had been living at the apartment for a week now.
"I'm giving her a bath," he said. "I'm not allowed to do that either?"
"No. I said that I would, and that meant that I wanted to." During the week, I'd been dropping Danica off at my house where my dad watched her while I worked. He didn't mind. She usually slept while he graded papers. I didn't feel like having Jay and Craig fight over her, so I went with Dad instead. It was easier that way.
"So when exactly am I going to be able to actually take care of her?" he asked.
"When I say so!" I took over giving her a bath, and Craig stormed off into the living room.
Craig
"She's acting crazy!" I complained over the phone. I was talking to Marco.
"You have to give her some time Craig. It is her baby. And she's been raising her by herself for the past five months. She's used to doing things without you," he told me.
"Why'd you have to go and understand women? Don't you have something better to do? Besides, she's my baby too."
"Craig, just because you're the biological father, doesn't mean that you're her father figure. That's Oliver's job and I'm guessing it always has been. He's in a coma now and she really needs him, but she's stuck with you."
"Stuck with me? I'm trying to help her out here!" I yelled.
"Maybe you shouldn't be living with her though. She needs Oliver there, not you. Having you in the apartment probably just reminds her more and more about missing him. You should give her some space," Marco said.
"I'm already giving Manny space! She told me to bond with my daughter. Well, I do want to bond with her, but I want to be with Manny. And Emma's just making it harder for me." I heard a click. "Marco? Hello?" I looked up and realized that Emma was standing there. "Why'd you hang up on him?" I asked.
"I'm leaving for work. Why don't you go somewhere? Hang out with your friends or something?" she asked me.
"No thanks, I'm fine right here. And you can leave Danica," I said, hoping she's agree.
"Forget it," she told me, walking out the door with our daughter in hand.
Emma
"He is driving me crazy!" I complained to my dad. I was already late for work, but I had to vent, and I couldn't talk to Joey about it.
"Remind me why you're letting him live there?" Dad asked. "Craig's a nice guy and all, but he does have a home."
"I know he does. I just feel guilty for never telling him about her in the first place. I do want him to be able to get closer to her, but he acts like I need him to do everything for me. He doesn't even know how to take care of her!"
"Maybe you should teach him then," he pointed out.
"Maybe I don't want to! I have to get to work. Thanks for watching her. I'll pick her up around ten." I kissed Dani on the forehead and left.
The same routine went on for two more weeks. Every day, I'd get up, yell at Craig for trying to do something he shouldn't, get Danica ready, drop her off at daycare, and go to school. Then, around three, I'd pick her up from daycare, bring her by the hospital for an hour, go home, and eat dinner.
Craig, Dani, and I all ate dinner together. Now she's able to eat all those disgusting mushy baby foods. I let Craig feed her every other night, but that's all for now. After dinner, I give her a bath; drop her off with my dad, and go to work at six.
At ten, I pick her up from my house and go home, where I always have a fight with Craig about putting her to bed. He always wakes her up when I get home. He says it's an accident, but I know he does it on purpose.
I cry myself to sleep every night. I think something's wrong with me too. I just am always in a bad mood. It's probably just because of Oliver though. Every day, I think he's gonna be better, but then he's not. And it's still my fault.
On Saturday night, I picked Dani up at the usual time. Letting myself in, I found my dad asleep at the kitchen table. I gently shook him awake.
"Emma? Hi honey. Sorry, I fell asleep. Danica was restless tonight. I think she can sense that you're upset. Anyway, let me go get her…she's up in Jack's old crib," he explained.
"Okay, I'm just gonna go talk to Sean for a few minutes and then I'll meet you back here," I told him.
Sean had been ignoring me at school since we talked, and it bothered me. I wanted him to know that I wanted to be friends with him. I saw him eating lunch with Brooklyn everyday too. I guess I was a little jealous because she could be with someone and I couldn't.
She and I haven't hung out because she's always been with Sean. I've seen them at the park together too, and I think they're getting really close. He's good with Maddox, but I know that Oliver won't be happy about that.
And then there's Manny. I've talked to her a few times in class, but she always seems busy. I think she's planning on getting back with Craig, and boy, will I be glad when that happens. If she doesn't ask him soon, I'll freak.
I quietly walked down the stairs to my old bedroom and instantly wished I hadn't.
"Oh! Wow! I can see that you're busy…umm…sorry!" I yelled, running back up the stairs. Sean. And Brooklyn. Having sex. In my old bed! Oh that's so disgusting.
I grabbed Dani from my dad, kissed him on the cheek, and bolted. After seeing that, I'd almost welcome another fight with Craig. But I still want him gone.
Trust you is just one defense
Off a list of others, you don't make sense
Beg me time and time again
To take you back now, but you can't win
Take back now, my life you're stealing
"Just let me feed her!" he begged.
"Craig, you fed her last night. I said no." It was now Sunday night, and Oliver had officially been in a coma for a month. I was in a horrible mood and I didn't feel like dealing with Craig's crap.
"I said yes!" he yelled, grabbing the spoon from my hand.
"Give it back!" I yelled. He stood up and got in my face.
"No!"
"Do you realize that you're acting like a two year old?" I asked him.
"Yeah, and I'm perfectly fine with that!" he said, sticking his tongue out at me.
"Real mature Craig. Give me back the spoon," I said, holding my hand out.
"Make me," he joked. Do not tell me that he's flirting right now. He always tries to turn serious thinks into jokes. And it pisses me off.
"Fine, I will," I said, delivering him a swift kick in the balls. He groaned and fell to the ground, dropping the spoon. I smirked at him, picked it up, and rinsed it off. Then I sat down and continued feeding Dani.
"You…are such…a bitch," he said between breaths. I felt bad for him until he said that. In an instant, I was up with my foot hovering over his crotch.
"Take it back or I'll do it again," I warned.
"I'm sorry, I take it back," he said, rolling his eyes.
"I saw that!" I told him.
"So? What are you gonna do about it?" Before I could answer, or kick him or anything of the sort, I felt him grab onto my let and pull me down on top of him, right there on the kitchen floor. I could hear Danica laughing as he kissed me.
And when the memory slips away
There will be a better view from here
And only lonesome you remains
And just the thought of you I fear
It falls away
Yesterday was hell
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me again
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you
Take back now, my life you're stealing
A/N: The song is "Straitjacket Feeling" by All American Rejects and they own it. I used it because Craig is interfering with Emma's life more than helping and now this? Lol…Okay, after Craig had been living there for a week, it was Sunday, October 7th. And now, two more weeks have passed, and this chapter ends on Sunday the 21st. An interesting turn of events, if I do say so myself. Don't get your hopes up too much. This is my favorite chapter (and also the longest) that I've written for this fic so far. Please review. Okay, sorry that I haven't updated...but I haven't been online at all. I found out last Thursday that my cousin was in a coma (which is strange because I put Oliver in a coma and whatnot) and then this Thursday, he passed away. So I might not update for awhile...just wanted to let you know.
WishinWell43: Craig wasn't living with Manny at all. In the last chapter, I put that Craig didn't want to go home because he didn't want Joey questioning him about everyhing...because Manny wanted to take a break. Emma's birthday party was in chapter eighteen and nineteen of Better Luck Next Time, and Oliver got shot in chapter twenty. Mark did die, but if you go back and read chapter twenty, Jay made up a story for Emma to tell the police about what happened...that Mark was shot in self defense and blah blah blah and then I was going to write something like this but never did: that those two other ppl that witnessed the thing decided not to tell about what really happened because they were a part of the club and Emma was there illegally and all that junk. Anyway, that's why Jay's not in jail. Also, the police dropped the case because Mark was scum and whatnot. I dunno, maybe I'll try to write it in somewhere. And to answer your last question, I only have up to chapter eight written. I know everything that's going to happen, but I haven't had any time to write. Wow, since this is now longer than my a/n I think that's all I'm gonna write. Hope you liked this chapter.