Chapter Thirteen: Remember To Breathe

Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself
And covered with a perfect shell
Such a charming, beautiful exterior
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes
Perfect posture, but you're barely scraping by
But you're barely scraping by

Emma

I didn't go to school today either. So much has happened, and I just couldn't. I only got up out of bed to feed Danica, and then I just brought her back in the bed with me. I never fell back asleep, but it felt nice to lay there and think. The only thing missing was Oliver.

I'm wondering right now if I should just go to that therapist. Maybe I do need to go. I'm pretty good at shoving my problems aside. I have to in order to be a good mother. Danica needs me.

I looked over at the clock. It was already 3:30! I lay in bed all day with Dani. I decided to put her down for a nap and take a shower. Once I was clean, I flopped down on the couch and flipped the television on.

And, of course, as soon as I started watching a show, someone knocked on the door. Sighing, I stood up and opened the door. There was Manny, with bags in her hand, crying. Here we go again.

"Emma I'm so sorry. I know I shouldn't have come here but I didn't know where to go. I can leave if you want to be alone," she cried.

"No Manny, of course not. Come on in," I told her. It would be a relief to talk about someone else's problems instead of my own.

"I'm back with Craig now," she sobbed, sitting down on the couch. I took her bags and set them down, then closed the door and sat down next to her.

"That's why you're crying?" I asked her.

"No." She didn't say anything else though. I stared at her, waiting for an answer, but she just cried.

"Then what is it?"

"I told my parents that Craig and I were getting married. My mom assumed that I was pregnant again and wouldn't let me explain. My dad kicked me out and Joey won't let me stay with them. I have nowhere to go Em," she cried.

"You can stay here, don't worry," I told her. "But if Oliver ever wakes up, I'll have to ask him about it," I said, hanging my head.

"Don't worry Emma, he will," she said, patting my back. Whoa, it's amazing how quickly this can go from me comforting her to her comforting me. I guess that's why I really need Manny in my life.

"Why don't we do something fun tonight," I suggested.

"Don't you have your, um, appointment?" she asked.

"I'll just reschedule it. I really don't want to talk to someone who thinks I'm crazy right now. I'll go call them now and let them know," I stood up and walked into my bedroom. I decided to call from there, instead of from the living room.

I talked to the receptionist and scheduled a new appointment for Saturday morning. When I went back into the living room, Manny was sitting on the couch, holding Danica. She looked up when she heard me come in.

"I went to see her and she was awake," she told me. "She really is beautiful. Looks like her mommy."

"Thanks." I smiled.

"So, what should we do?" I asked her.

"I was thinking that first we could go to the hospital. You know, and visit people," she suggested.

"Well, alright, but let's make it quick. It won't be very fun," I groaned.

"I know that. But you have to visit him sometime Emma. He needs you," she said.

Without answering her, I got Danica ready to leave and then the three of us made our way to the hospital. Here goes nothing.

Craig

I can't believe it's finally happening. Manny and I are back together, and we're getting married! I want to move the wedding up to this summer, but I don't know how that will sit with Joey. He doesn't want me to get married. He says that it's my responsibility to take care of my daughter, and she should be first in my life, not Manny.

But I am so in love with Manny that I can't even think straight. Besides, Danica has Emma to take care of her. And Oliver, if he ever wakes up. I hope for Emma's sake that he does, because she'd probably die along with him if he died.

Anyway, here I am at the jewelry store. I've saved up all my money from working at the dealership, and I have a new job now, at The Dot of course. I'm buying Manny a ring, and then I'm going to formally ask her to marry me. We talked about it, and I already asked her, but I didn't have a ring to give her then. And now, I'll finally have one.

Hopefully we'll be able to get our own apartment soon, but I'm not sure when that'll happen. I know this sounds crazy, but I want to start a family with her as soon as possible. I still wish we could have our baby from before, but I know that can't happen. So I'm going to ask Manny if she'll have my baby. (Well, my third one anyway).

Manny

This is so strange. I'm just watching Emma talk to Oliver. He doesn't respond, he just lies there. I don't know what I'd do if it was Craig instead. What would I say to him?

Well, Emma's telling Oliver that I've moved into their apartment. I don't know if he can really hear her, but maybe he can. Now she's putting Dani up on the bed with him. I swear I just saw him smile, but I'm probably imagining things.

This is so depressing. We have to get out of here!

Emma

This is it.

"I don't want to go in," I said to Manny.

"You have to. I bet Oliver would want you to talk to him," she said. I looked at her with sad eyes.

"Don't make me do this," I begged.

"I'm making you. I'll watch Danica out here. You go in," Manny told me. She took the baby from me and pushed me into the room. As soon as I was in, I turned around, only to have her close the door. Then I saw her sit down on a bench that was pushed against the wall, with Dani in her lap.

The room was dark. I didn't want to go in any further, but I guess I had to. What would I say? It was so much easier to talk to Oliver. What do you say to someone who tried to kill himself because of you?

I cleared my throat and stepped forward.

"J…" I couldn't get his name out. Why is it that I can talk to my boyfriend who isn't even awake, but I can't find the words for this?

"Jay?" There, I said it. But I go no answer. I walked towards the bed a few more steps. He was lying there with his eyes closed. I didn't know what to do. Should I stay? Or should I leave? I wasn't sure whether I should talk to him while he was asleep or wait for him to wake up.

"Jay, I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Don't be sorry Emma." His voice startled me. He opened his eyes as I sat down.

"How could you do something like this?" I asked him. Tears stung my cheeks.

"I'm sorry," he said. He reached up and wiped a tear off my face. "I didn't think I could live without you." I realized right then that Jay hadn't meant to hurt me. He made a mistake, and he didn't deserve to die for it.

"You don't have to." I replied. "I want you to get stronger because Dani needs her babysitter back." I watched as a smile grew on his face. "Her free babysitter," I added, smiling. Jay started to laugh, but it turned into a fit of coughing. My smile faded. "Are you okay? Should I call the doctor?"

"No," he said, coughing one last time. "I'm fine."

"I have to go now," I said. This really scared me. I couldn't see him like this anymore. I stood up. But he grabbed onto my arm.

"Emma?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you stay? Just until I fall asleep?" he asked.

"Sure Jay," I told him. I sat back down and took his hand. I watched him close his eyes and waited for his breathing to get heavy. When I was sure he was asleep, I gave his hand a little squeeze and stood up. I was just about to leave when there was a knock on the door. "Come in," I said as loudly as I dared. I didn't want to wake him up.

The door opened and a police officer stepped in. Oh great.

"Are you Emma Nelson?" he asked me.

"Yes, I am," I said.

"Great, I've been hoping to talk to you. You're friend told me you were in here. I need to ask you a few questions about October 31st."

"Okay," I said, sitting back down.

"Is this the guy who raped you?" he asked me, pointing to Jay. Without hesitation, I answered him.

"No. He's just a guy who made a mistake," I said. "I want the charges dropped."

"Are you sure about this?" he asked me, looking worried.

"Of course I am. I don't know who called you, but it wasn't me. It was my mother or father or one of my friends. But I don't want to press charges. I'm positive."

"Okay Ma'am. Thank you for your time."

Without another word, I walked right out of the room. When I got into the hallway, Manny and Danica were gone. My heart started pounding and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I ran to the nurse's station.

"Have you seen my daughter?" I asked frantically. I practically yelled it.

"What does she look like?" the woman asked calmly.

"She's just a baby!" I cried. "She was with my friend Manny. Manny has long black hair. They were sitting right over there," I said, pointing to the bench that was now empty.

"I saw them a few minutes ago. She got up and left. I think she went down there," she said, pointing down the hallway to the left. I took off in that direction. Manny wouldn't do this to me, would she?

"Danica!" I yelled. "Manny!" I looked in all the rooms I passed and kept yelling their names. When I got to the end of the hall, I took another left, running around the corner. And I ran right into someone.

This is one time, this is one time
That you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
Or anyone at all...or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
The places that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you have come to fear the most

A/N: This chapter takes place on Thursday, November 2nd. The song is "The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most" by Dashboard Confessional and they own it. The title of the chapter is a title to one of their other songs. Most of you thought that Jay was dead…but now you know that he's not! I was going to originally have him die, but I changed my mind. He got to the hospital on time and they pumped his stomach. So, what do you think Manny did with Danica? And who did Emma run into?

This message is for everyone who has read "Pieces Of My Heart." I stated in the last chapter that I was definitely going to write a sequel to it, but I've changed my mind. I know that if I write a sequel, it won't be nearly as good, (like what happened with my Changes trilogy). I don't really have many ideas for it at all, so I'm sorry to say that I won't be writing a sequel. When I'm finished with this story, I will be writing Take Me As I Am, my Marco fic. After that, I'm possibly writing a Paige/Sean story, but I'm not sure yet. And I have a one-shot planned that has to do with the whole Rick/shooting thing.