Title: You Stayed
Author: Little Miss Someone
Summary: Why do I keep coming back?
Rating: T
Pairing: House/Cuddy
Disclaimer: Unfortunately the characters are not mine. If they were, House/Cuddy would already be having an illicit affair.
A/N: This is set some time in season two.
He leans his shoulder against the bell hoping that Cuddy will answer the door. He curses as he feels drops of water fall on his shoulder. Trust Cuddy to keep him waiting outside while it is raining. As he stands outside her door, he wonders why he keeps coming back to her.
Every time they slept together, he swore it would be the last time, but it never was. At first, they only slept together occasionally, usually when at least one of them was quite drunk. Then, it was easy to write it off. He was drunk, he would tell himself. He could not be responsible for what he did when he was quite drunk.
However, he can not use drunkenness as an excuse anymore. He certainly is not drunk right now. Slightly high on Vicodin, perhaps, but not drunk.
Drunkenness did not seem to be the cause of this prolonged lapse of judgement. In fact, once they started sleeping together when sober, it seemed to happen more regularly. At a loss for an excuse, he then reasoned that he had not been with a woman for years, not since Stacy. It was his imposed celibacy that was affecting his judgement. As soon as he found someone else, he would stop falling into bed with Cuddy.
Cuddy flings the door open.
"Go away, House."
"Is that the way to treat a guest?" House smirks, placing his cane in the door to prevent her from slamming the door in his face. "I turned down numerous offers from nubile young women to come here."
"Girls in your imagination don't count."
Some one else did turn up. Pretty, naive Cameron. Who wanted him. Who would have done anything for him. And yet, he turned her down. She would get over it though. There had probably been several volunteers who were willing to "console" her. He would not be surprised if Chase or Foreman had been one of them. But it was never going to be him. He did not want or need to be pitied or rescued from himself.
Despite her words, she does not make any real effort to prevent him from entering the house. She leaves the door open as she walks to the kitchen, letting him limp behind her. House takes the opportunity to admire what she is wearing, or not wearing as the case may be.
He remembers when he first had to admit to himself that he was attracted to his boss. When little things she would do would turn him on. Like when she would cross her arms over her chest when she was mad. Or when she was trying to hide a smile after he has said something completely outrageous. Or the way she would react to a simple touch.
"You know, you have a knack for turning up uninvited."
"Uninvited, perhaps. Unwelcome, hardly. Don't pretend that you didn't decide to wear that sexy outfit because you expected me to come over. I appreciate the effort although I would much rather you weren't wearing anything at all. "
She flushes, knowing that what he is saying is at least partly true. She had hoped he would come over, even if she was infuriated with him. However, she does not want to add to his already inflated ego and attempts to maintain a poker face.
The first time he stayed the night, he freaked out. In his mind, staying the night made it something more than sex. And despite all his reasoning, he knew, deep down, that it was slowly becoming more than just casual sex. And that scared the hell out of him.
"The only reason I'm letting you in is because it is raining outside and you might slip on the step. Don't think I'm concerned about your well being, I am just trying to avoid a lawsuit"
"I am sure if I did sue you, Stacy would be more than willing to be your defence lawyer. She would do anything to screw me over."
"Was there a reason for your coming over? Or did you just come over to make your usual smart ass comments? "
His comments became more vitriolic as he tried to push her away. But she always stayed. She would not necessarily sleep with him, if he had said something particularly hurtful but she never gave up on him. She always stayed.
He knows he is not ready to express any sentimental feelings. He knows she does not expect them of him. Which is why he knows he needs to apologise.
"I'm sorry." She eyes him up suspiciously and is confused by the sincerity of his words. She knows he will not elaborate or repeat the sentiment any time in the near future but for her it is enough. She understands how much it cost him just to apologise and she is grateful.
A couple of hours ago, he had made one of his smarting comments. She had winced, almost imperceptibly, but enough for House to realise that he had hurt her. The minute he had said it, he regretted it. But he could not take it back.
Wilson had asked him whether House was punishing Cuddy for his leg. The truth was he was punishing her in some way; for his leg, for Stacy leaving him, for how he felt about her now, for staying. Despite everything he had done, she always stayed.
He knows why he keeps coming back to her, why he will continue to keep coming back to her. Because she is beautiful, because she is smart, because she gives as good as she gets and because she is compassionate. But also because she saw him at his worst, at his most vulnerable and stayed.
THE END