12
The monster between my legs wakes me again. Before I open my eyes, though, I want to wait till I am aware of my surroundings. There's…something about them. The bed before me is empty, but still warm. Behind me, I can hear moans and feel movement. Yusuke…he is behind me…Hiei has left the bed. Yusuke's body shifts, he rolls toward me a little and moans, "Kurama…" He sounds…aroused. His voice causes the monster to make a specific demand. It wants more of those noises out of Yusuke. I open my eyes and look over my shoulder at him. The arm that had been draped over my body now follows his body, his hand disappearing behind his back. His eyes are closed and he is moaning again. I can tell by the way his muscles are moving that his hand is moving. My body demands…demands that I replace his hand…that I be the one moving in…that area. He moans again and the monster leaps, threatening to remove itself from my body if I don't do something about those sounds. "Kurama…" His voice is breathy, pleading, his eyes closed. My body overrules my mind.
My body acts without my permission and there is no way I can stop it. His voice, his body, they encourage me, drive me on. I cannot stop until we both reach completion.
I don't know how long it has been, but we are both panting on our sides, his back to me, my wilting cock still in his body. My mind returns to me slowly. Everything I've done assaults it. I…I know this is what I do…my body remembers it vividly…but…but… I bury my face into the pillow. I don't understand it. I can feel Yusuke moving, his body releasing my spent dick as he turns on the bed. His hand is in my hair and he calls my name softly, "Kurama…love…look at me, please." He is worried.
"Yusuke…I…I'm sorry…" I begin…I don't know…I can feel tears in my eyes again.
"Why, love? Why are you sorry?" His hand is under my chin, turning me to face him.
"I can't…I can't remember why I did that…" my voice is full of scorn and pain.
"Keiko said your body remembered, and this is how you wake me up most mornings. Sometimes, I leave the bed and let you and Hiei wake each other up, but usually it's me who's attacked in the morning," he smiles at me, showing he is both teasing and happy with the 'attack.' "And," he sobers, "it's not your fault you can't remember. We'll figure it out. Please…please don't feel badly, don't apologize." His hand goes to my head, caressing my hair, massaging my neck and scalp.
I rest my forehead against his, my eyes closed. He massages my neck a little longer before kissing me softly. "Why don't we get a shower, love? You'll feel better. Hiei's making breakfast…cinnamon rolls, I think." He grins, "He doesn't make them often, but when he does, they're so good. C'mon…a shower then Hiei's wondrous cinnamon rolls…you'll feel better then!"
I can't help but to smile at his enthusiasm. He gets up and pulls me after him, dragging me into the bathroom without a chance for me to protest. I don't think I would. I want a shower, anyways. I can smell myself…and it's not pleasant. He pulls me into the bathroom, past the sinks and water closet and into the third room of the suite. It is a large room with a large tub standing in the center of it. Set into the wall nearest us is a shower faucet. All of the walls are tiled to the ceiling and the outer wall has glass bricks set into it, letting in light but not allowing a view of the outside. The whole room is a soft off white color, relaxing and warm. Yusuke sets the water while I am looking around then guides me under the warm spray. He holds me from behind, letting the water hit the front of my body. I hear him sigh and feel his chin rest on my shoulder as I overlap his arms with mine.
"Yusuke," I begin softly. He hums in acknowledgement and I continue, "I…I don't remember …but…I understand why I would love you two." I feel so…wanted in his arms. A second pair of arms wraps around us and I move a hand to cover one of Hiei's. We stand there a long time, just holding each other.
After a long time, Hiei pulls away. "Breakfast will be ready in about twenty minutes." I can hear the reluctance in his voice to leave.
"Hiei," I call to him, turning in Yusuke's arms to face him. I reach out a hand and he comes to me willingly. My hand goes to his hair and I pull him in to kiss him. His hands go to my face and into my hair. His lips…my lips…together…it just was right. He pulls back with a smile. Without a word, he leaves the shower.
Yusuke is still holding me and guides me back under the water, his hands going to my hair, massaging my scalp gently. I close my eyes and let him wash my hair, my face, my body. It feels good…very good, not just to get clean, but to let him…to surrender to his touch. When he is finished with my body, I return the favor, watching as his eyes close and he surrenders himself to me. His hair is slightly coarse under my water soaked fingers, his neck and shoulders a little tensed, his muscles toned. He has a tan line where his pants sit on his hips, his chest and arms golden while his hips and legs are lightly colored. His ass is firm under my hands as I use it to support myself while I kneel before him to wash his legs. At this level, his flaccid dick was right in front of my mouth, hanging from a dark nest of hair. Gently, I clean the hair there…it is coarser than the hair on his head. His shaft lengthens at the attention and I look up to see his eyes on me. They are not lust filled, but calm, accepting. He expects nothing beyond what I am willing to do, I can see this in his eyes. The water washes away the soap and I kiss the base of his shaft, close to the coarse hair and then stand up and embrace him. He pulls me close and I rest my head on his shoulder. The water is beginning to cool. I shiver a little under it and he reaches over to turn it off. "Let's go. Breakfast is ready," he murmurs softly.
He releases me to walk across the room and grabs a couple of towels. He sets one on the edge of the tub far enough away from us it hasn't gotten wet and wraps me in the one he still holds. Gently, he pats my body dry, his eyes always on my face, full of…love. He is enjoying taking care of me. I smile at him and he returns the gesture just before draping the towel over my head and drying my hair. I laugh as his hands shake my head and through the noise of the fabric I can hear him laugh, too. I pull the towel away, "I don't want a mass of tangles, thank you!"
"Prissy…"
"Am not! I don't want to deal with the knots!"
He sticks his tongue out at me and I laugh. I take the towel from him, wrap it around myself and kiss him before leaving the bathing room. Just before I close the door, I hear him mutter, "Are too."
"Am not," I throw over my shoulder as the door closes. I can hear his laughter through the door. Smiling, I pull the towel from my body and wrap it around my hair, squeezing it to get the water out. As I look into the mirror, I wonder…That felt so natural…is…do we often…play? I…I hope so. I like how I feel when…when we're playing. Giving the towel a final squeeze, I go into the bedroom and pull out a green button up shirt and a clean pair of jeans.
I am buttoning up the shirt when Yusuke emerges from the bathroom. He kisses my cheek on his way to his closet where he pulls out a black tee shirt and jeans. I watch out of the corner of my eye as he dresses, enjoying the play of his muscles under his skin. He is…very attractive, I think, smiling. He glances over at me while tucking in his shirt and smiles, "You're not bad yourself."
I blush at being caught staring. He laughs at me and pushes me ahead of him out of the room where the smell of…something divine and the need of the plants for water hits my senses all at once. Hiei looks over his shoulder and smiles at us. "You have two minutes to spare," he says before turning back to stir the contents of the bowl in his hand.
"Good," I answer, "the plants are thirsty." I walk over to the sink and again find the watering can in my hand before I can ask where it is. I stare at it a moment and then shrug and fill it with water. I go around the room, watering each plant in turn, caressing its leaves and making nonsense comments to each. This calms them. It seems this is what they expect out of me, though they are still distressed. I am not fully responding to them the way they expect. I reassure them that I am trying to find a way to return to what they knew. This calms them for now, but there is still an undercurrent of distress. It shows a little in their leaves, too. They are a little dull. I return the watering can under the sink and sit at the table with a sigh.
"Are the plants worried?" Yusuke asks, handing me a plate with a steaming divinely scented roll on it.
"Thank you," I murmur and then, "Yes, they're distressed that I'm not responding to them the way they're used to."
"We're…" he begins, only to be cut off by the doorbell. He looks over at the clock on the stove. "Who could that be?" he grouses as he pushes away from the table. My eyes follow him and see the surprise in his body when he opens the door. "Granny?"
Genkai pushes past him, inviting herself in, "Seems like I arrived at the right time." She sits at the table and Hiei hands her a roll, an expression on his face somewhere between irritation and hope. She takes a bite out of the still steaming roll and sighs in contentment.
Yusuke returns to the table after shutting the door, "What's up, granny?"
"Haven't you learned not to interrupt a person when they're eating?" she counters.
"With you as an example?" he returns.
She glares at him and continues to eat. Sighing, Yusuke begins to eat his roll. I look at Hiei and he shrugs and begins eating. Taking my cue from them, I take a bite. My mouth is filled with pungent spice and sweetness as the roll itself almost melts in my mouth. There is a touch of grittiness and a dark flavor fills my mouth. I close my eyes and feel a moan rise from my throat. After I swallow, I open my eyes and see them all looking at me. Yusuke and Hiei are smiling, Genkai is smirking. I blush and almost drop my eyes to my plate, but Hiei says, "I'm glad you still like them." I blush more and look into his eyes. I can see there that he expected my reaction, even hoped for it. I smile at him and feel the color receding from my cheeks. We finish our rolls in relative silence, though I do moan a couple more times. I can't help it, they taste that good.
When we've all had our fill, Yusuke again asks, "What's up, granny?"
"Koenma contacted me this morning," she answers.
"And you had to eat our food in order to tell us that!" he shoots out.
"What did he want?" I ask, remembering that he was in a position of some authority.
"He has a lead…" she begins, only to be cut off by Yusuke.
"And you couldn't tell us this right off!" His face is red with anger as he glares at the small woman.
She turns a cold calm stare on him, "He doesn't want you there until after lunch, so my having breakfast did nothing to delay you, halfwit."
He glares at her and returns to his seat. "Is that all he had to say?" his voice is still bitter.
"He suggested we bring Keiko and Kuwabara."
"Keiko?" he asks.
"I've already called her."
"Why does he want Keiko there?"
"He didn't tell me, numbskull." She moves to stand up. "I'll expect you at the temple at one o'clock." With that, she leaves the house, closing the door firmly behind herself.
"A lead…" my voice is soft, conflicted. A lead could mean…nothing…or it could mean I could have my memory back before we return home.
"Knowing Koenma, we'll have to work for it." Yusuke groused.
Hiei moved to clear the table. "We should see…" his voice trails off. "We need to spar, Kurama." His shoulders are tense as he stands at the sink. He turns to face me, "We may need to fight. I need to know you'll be okay." He is worried about me.
I nod, "I understand." I stand from the table and go to the door. I feel my stomach fluttering around the food I've just eaten.
Hiei grabs my hand and I turn to face him. "If Keiko is right about your body remembering, then you should be fine. Just…don't think. Let your body act." His eyes are full of concern. They also tell me he loves me and…and whether I can or cannot fight will not affect his opinion of me.
I nod and slide into my shoes, pulling the door open. Yusuke follows us out and we cross the porch, down the steps into the clearing in front of the house. Yusuke remains on the porch while Hiei and I move to stand across from each other. He has a katana in his hand. My hands are empty. How am I supposed to fight him? I can see in his eyes he is worried. I run my hands down my shirt. They are clammy. 'Don't think,' I tell myself, and find it much easier said than done. Or it is until a black blur comes at me across the clearing. My body moves, one hand going to my hair as I dodge, jumping and flipping in the air, landing where Hiei had been standing with a rose in my hand. I look at the rose but before I can question where it came from, Hiei is darting at me again, his blade slashing toward my body. My voice calls out "Rose whip!" and I feel the flow of energy between me and the rose in my hand as it transforms into a long thorned whip that lashes after the black blur. His blade deflects the vine and he comes at me again. I dodge, bringing the whip up viciously after him. He captures it, smiling at me.
"Good."
I am panting and can feel the sweat trickling down my face. I am shaking and can taste the adrenaline in my mouth. "Good? What the hell is this?" I ask, twitching the whip.
"It is your rose whip," he answers.
"Where the hell did it come from?" I feel a little panicky, pulling things out of no where.
"We don't know. We've never felt your rose in your hair. It…just appears when you want it. Maybe it's a seed in your hair. You've never told us," Yusuke answers, coming down from the porch. "It's okay. It seems your form isn't too far off, once you get started."
I take a deep breath, calming myself. I can hear the plants…they're concerned. I tell them I'm okay, I'm trying to remember and they settle down.
With an unconscious flick of my wrist, the whip reverts back to a rose. I look at it again, still surprised by its appearance. I look up when the plants warn me I am going to be attacked again, my body moving instinctively away from Yusuke. My hands are empty now as he charges me again, his fists glowing. One comes flying at my chest and I duck under it, my hand flying up to catch him under his ribs. I hear the air leave his body in a rush and feel a stab of conscious. He lands laughing, though.
"As long as he doesn't have time to think," Yusuke says, his voice a little breathless.
"It would be better if he didn't have to fight, though," Hiei agrees.
"Excuse me, I am right here." I glare at both of them. Yusuke looks chagrined but Hiei is unrepentant.
"And we don't want you to have your ass handed to you." He meets my glare with one of his own. Behind that glare, behind his words, I can hear his concern for me. I bow my head, admitting, conceding his is right. I hear him walking across the clearing but I don't look up until his hand touches my cheek. "It's not that I think you can't handle yourself. I know you can, even now." His eyes finish his comment. He doesn't want to lose me.
I bring my hand up to his. "I understand. I'll try to stay out of trouble." We stand there a moment before the plants tell me Keiko is approaching, causing me to look up.
She enters the clearing with a heavy bag slung over her shoulder…or at least it looks as if it should be heavy. She refuses Yusuke's offer to carry it, though, heading to the porch and beaconing us over. On one of the tables, she pulls out three large notebooks, one with each of our names on it in a neat script. "These are the transcripts of our interviews," she smiles at us.
The one with my name, though, confuses me. It reads 'Minamino Shuichi/Youko Kurama.' I run my fingers over the neat script, trying to decipher meaning from the names.
As if reading my name, Yusuke speaks up, "Minamino Shuichi is your human name, the name your mother gave you twenty-six years ago. Youko Kurama was your name when you were a kitsune. You were badly injured and needed to recover. That's why you're in a human body." His voice is soft as he tells me this. There is nothing to say…what could I say? Yusuke continues, "You only needed to be in a human body for ten years, but…your mother showed you what love was and you couldn't leave her. Almost twelve years ago, she was very sick. You had met Hiei before that and he asked you to help him steal three objects from Enma. You agreed because one of the objects could help your mother and you were a thief as Youko. That's how we met. It was my first case as a spirit detective. Long story short, you and Hiei were paroled and had to work with me." His expression is tender. He is sitting on the porch next to the chair I sat in. Hiei is standing behind me, his hand on my shoulder.
"I want to remember…" my voice is soft…I can barely hear myself.
"You will," Hiei answers me at the same volume. His hand tightens on my shoulder.
"Sometimes," Keiko begins, "when people are in a fugue state, reminding them of their past helps form connections that bring it forward. Usually, memories are recovered oldest to newest. But, as we discussed yesterday, you're not exactly a normal fugue state case. I thought it'd be worth a try. Some of our interviews go back to before you were a thief."
I run my finger along the name…my name…once more. My life…the life I had…in black and white. I am hesitant, though. I want to remember, though, not read about my life. "If Koenma's lead doesn't work out…" I finally say.
She nods putting the binders back in her bag. "I thought you'd say that." She puts her bag on the ground next to her chair. "I told you I had another theory. I've found a lot of interesting phenomenon in my world cultures and comparative psychology courses. I've read case studies of amnesia after someone has been cursed, either through voodoo or some other form of what is usually called one of the black arts. Your case doesn't really follow those except for the onset. Curse victims will describe a blackness and then pain."
"How does this help?" I ask. I want answers, not theories…not right now. When I can remember, then I'll be happy with theories. I don't say that, though. She is trying.
"There are a couple of ways to test for a curse." There is a hesitancy in her voice.
"But…?" Yusuke asks.
"They view demons as a curse, so they, the tests, may give a false reading."
"What kind of tests? What will they tell you?"
"Well, one is reading cards. One is burning certain herbs, the smell of which actually makes me sick. One is burning a lock of your hair…"
"Let's try the card reading," I cut her off.
She nods, "That's the easiest and the one that will be easiest to detect if it's a false reading because you're a demon." She reaches into her back and pulls out a purple velvet bag just bigger than her hands. I watch as she pulls a thick stack of cards from it and shuffles them on the table. "These are tarot cards," she explains. I glance at Yusuke. He is puzzled. Hiei moves to the chair next to mine, his expression intrigued. "There are several different ways of laying the cards out, ranging from one card to over thirty. I'm going to test them with a three card layout."
She takes a deep breath and then turns three cards onto the table. They are richly decorated with numbers and words. The one on her left is labeled the devil, the middle one lovers and the last one is the seven of staffs. She is frowning at the cards before she smiles and looks up at us. "They work for you."
"What do they mean?" I ask.
"Each card has a meaning, also influenced by where they are in the layout. A three card lay out gives the past, present and future in the simplest terms." She points at the devil card, "This card is the past, it indicates a weird experience, a bad outside influence and black magic. It can also indicate self inflicted pain, but I don't think…that may not fully apply. I'm not sure about that. The next card is your present position, the lovers, which beyond the obvious meaning of love also means trust and freedom and optimism. The third card indicates the future. The seven of staffs indicate success and victory."
"Why aren't you sure about the first one?" I ask. She hesitated.
"Well, there's a feeling…a…how do I say this…it's like an instinct that allows someone to read cards well. My instinct on the first card is that self inflicted is almost but not quite right."
"Why would I do this to myself?" That's just…insane.
"I didn't say you did. I said it wasn't right. Maybe…maybe it's something you left undone that is returning to you now." She looks as if she's struggling to find words.
"I'm sorry," I say, my voice softer. "It's not your fault. You're doing your best to help us."
She looks at me, "I wish I could do more."
Hiei stands, "It's time to go to Genkai's. Yusuke, will you grab something we can eat on the way?" He looks at Keiko, "Do you think the last card is right or is it just our hope?"
She looks at the card, tracing the design with her finger before looking at him, "Both."
He nods, his expression grim. She puts the cards back in the pouch and slings her bag back over her shoulder. Yusuke comes back out with several pieces of fruit and we walk to Genkai's silently, eating and thinking.
I lag behind them, my mind struggling to remember what has been left undone. It would be easier if I could remember anything at all, but I cannot stop trying. Hiei drops back and walks beside me. "Kurama," he says softly, his eyes forward. He glances at me out of the corner of his eye, I am watching him avidly. "Let Yusuke or me handle things. We don't want you hurt. That would be…worse than you not remembering for us."
I reach out and take his hand, lacing my fingers through his. "I know. I will." Very softly, I add, "I do love you."
He stops and I turn to face him. He runs his hand over my cheek. I now know why it is so rough, but that only adds to the sensation. His eyes are intense on mine. His voice is soft as he says, "I love you, always." Somehow, this simple action, his caressing my cheek and looking into my eyes, feels more intimate than when he…made love to me last night.
It is too soon when Keiko's voice calls us to hurry up. I turn to see Yusuke looking at us, both with longing and joy in his eyes. I hold my free hand out to him and he walks over and takes it, lacing his fingers in mine. He kisses my fingertips before turning to walk behind Keiko toward Genkai's.
Just before we arrive, the plants are warning me…of someone being here. "The…Botan?...is here.," I whisper. Yusuke and Hiei squeeze my fingers and let my hands go. I wish they didn't have to, but if we need Koenma's help and…lots of things I don't want to think about at the moment.
Separately, we walk into the clearing around a large wooden building. This place has a peaceful atmosphere, but also a strong undercurrent of power running under it. The plants here are…more intelligent than those around our house. Genkai and Yukina are on the porch, waiting, with a tall orange haired man. He has the look of someone whose body is finally catching up with itself. His limbs are strong, his neck looks like it is still reaching for its full potential to match the broad line of his shoulders. His hips are narrower, but not as slim as Hiei's or Yusuke's. His legs are strongly muscled, evident even through the loose pants he wears. He is showing promise of attractiveness. But, the way he carries himself shows that he is still uncomfortable in his body, still feeling awkward. He stands near Yukina, glancing at her every so often with an expression I recognize from Hiei and Yusuke. He loves her. When she looks at him, I see a little bit of puzzlement even as she returns the look. Also…they are…innocent. How do I know this? Genkai comes out of the building with the blue haired girl…Botan…behind her. I guess the man must be Kuwabara.
"It's about time you four get here," Genkai grouses at us.
"Koenma-sama just called, Genkai-shihan. They will be arriving on time. The…guest has just arrived."
"Why are we wastin' time here blabbing? Let's go!" Yes, he is definitely Kuwabara, the voice sounds like what I remember.
Botan walks across the clearing and with a flick of her wrist produces an oar out of thin air. She mounts this then point…something, I can't see it concealed in her hand, at the ground near her feet. A blue oval appears, like the one that we took from Koenma's before. I walk through again, the same tingling sensation as before. What I notice different this time is how suddenly and completely the voices of the plants are shut off. My head almost echoes in the silence. I didn't realize how used to them I'd gotten.
We emerge out of the tunnel across from large pair of doors. Botan knocks and then opens them. "We're here, Koenma-sama," she announces, as she pushes the doors further open and steps to the side to allow us in.
We enter, Keiko and Genkai first, followed by Yukina and Kuwabara and then Hiei and Yusuke. I enter last, and turn suddenly when a strange voice speaks, "Why, Kurama, it's been so long."
A/N: Whee...the next chapter...and my printer ran out of ink...pout Yes, I keep print outs of my stories, especially when I'm working on them...espeically if I work on them on the go...gives me a chance to edit them and to add to. Oh, wells...I'll still manage to add on (I'll borrow my roommate's printer ;) ). Anyways...for those that want to read other insanity from me, I do have a "livejournal" at http/ www. livejournal. com /users/ hcolleen Read at your own risk ;)
Anyways...I demnd at least three days before my next miracle...the next chapter may be up sooner, but I wanted to break it before it got too long and too involved...and I need more reviews...feed me please ;)
Also, if you get the impression there was something missing from the last chatper and this one...there is. It's on my homepage ;)