1A/n: Well, this sucks. It's a challenge fic that SiriusFan13 put out. And it's so unoriginal I could die. My better attempt is Ebony Tears, but I've decided to post this up also despite every part of my mind that says "This sssuuucckkss." Well, I like the title anyway.
Mindless Sewing
by: Unicornfan
The people I love... the people I despise. There really aren't all that many. And they're seeming to coincide now.
I'll continue sewing this kimono for Obaa-san. It is busy work. But if my hands are not busy, my mind shall think. I do not know what to think anymore.
I glance over at the boy, at the man, at the person in between these states, resting against the wall. He's sleeping again. He sleeps in front of me now, he does this with no one else.
Oh, I know he loves me. He does not know himself most probably- for how would one such as he know what love is?- but his actions prove it.
And yet, I must cause this child's death, this man, this... this killer. I have agreed. For he stole my happiness, he stole so many other's happiness's.
And yet, day by day, I become more attached to this boy, to this man. He is not a cold-hearted murderer. He kills for other people's happiness, a foolish concept, for no happiness can be brought on by death. Yet, how can I bring revenge on this boy, he did nothing with a cruel heart. He killed my love, for the sake of others happiness's. As twisted as this logic is, I cannot kill this boy because of it.
Yes, day by day, he is slowly becoming my happiness.
If I reach my hand up and touch his face- will he slaughter me, or will he lean into my touch? I do not know. And I do not know what to think.
The people I cherished. There was my father, oh I adore my father. My slightly crazed father. And there is Enishi. I worry for him. What would happen if I was not there for him, I fear it. I know... I know he is... not... he could very easily become a twisted, cruel boy. I will try in all my power to stop this. But I fear, that I could very well be the one to drive him into madness. I know, without me he will become lost.
And I loved Akira. But I could never show him. And now he is gone. I lost my chance.
... And now there is boy sitting in front of me, sleeping. "Battousai." Kenshin. ... I won't fool my heart any longer, I do care for this boy. He is too kind to be a killer. I hope he does not die, I hope he lives.
I could never show Akira my love, but could I show this boy? No... for even if I care for him, I do not know how so. And I would never be able to forgive myself, because of Akira. Akira whom, I am sure, is completely disgusted and despising me right now, for thinking kindly of his killer.
Akira-san... Akira-san, if you knew this boy too, you could not possibly hate him. Or at least this is what I like to fool myself into thinking. But I know it will not be so- for no one can not hate their killer. And here is his fiancee, thinking these kind thoughts of his killer.
But for now, I will watch his boy as he sleeps, in my presence only. I will watch him as my fingers deftly sew, trying vigorously to erase these troublesome thoughts from my mind. And I hope he will create this new age he so wishes for.
And I know, I cannot kill him.
A/n: I really don't like this. My second fic can be considered it's sequel because a lot of the questions Tomoe asks about Akira and such are answered. Also, Tomoe here has admitted to herself she cares for Kenshin, but that is all. She does not know if she loves him, nor wants to admit it to herself if she does. But she has admitted she cares for him, and that's all.
I really don't like this... I like the title though, as previously mentioned. I usually suck at titles. And that's all.