I knew the minute the elevator doors opened and I could hear the faint strains of Christmas music over the intercom that something was up.

My brow furrowed as I stepped into the morgue and was assaulted by a barrage of Christmas decorations. Garland hung from the front desk, a garishly lit Christmas tree stood in the corner, Christmas-y knickknacks sat on various tables and countertops.

It looked like a Christmas store threw up in the morgue.

I glanced around, wondering if anyone else found this as bizarre as I did. True, it was Christmas Eve, but we had never had Christmas decorations and Christmas music. About the closest to Christmas decorations we had ever gotten was a scrawny, pathetic poinsettia plant the year before.

I clutched my coffee cup, and wondered where everyone was.

A roar of laughter came from down the hall, meaning that most likely that's where everyone had run off to.

I walked down the hall, pulling off my scarf and gloves. I found everyone in Autopsy One, which had been transformed into a Winter Wonderland.

More decorations, more Christmas music. Another Christmas tree, and a buffet of food and drink set up on a festively tableclothed autopsy table.

I tried not to think to deeply about that as I walked in the room. Nigel, Bug, Lily and Dr. Macey were standing around the autopsy table, munching on snacks and laughing.

"Hey, guys," I said lightly, trying not to betray my confusion.

"Jordan, good, you're here! We were hoping you wouldn't miss our party," Lily said, grinning. She was wearing a red sweater with sequined poinsettia's and Christmas light earrings that blinked on and off. She was grinning widely and strewing tinsel on the Christmas tree. She looked like some kind of demented Jewish Christmas Elf.

"Um, Lily…you did all of this?" I asked cautiously.

"Yeah, of course," she said brightly.

"But, aren't you…Jewish?" I asked.

She roared with laughter. "My Dad was Jewish, but my Mom wasn't," she said. "After Dad left we stopped celebrating Hanukkah and started doing Christmas."

"Huh," I said. "You didn't do all of…this…last year." I stated, waving a hand at all the Christmas paraphernalia.

"I wasn't here for Christmas last year," she said.

"Wow," was all I could think of to say.

"This isn't the real party," Lily said matter-of-factly. "That will be later, after everyone's finished with their assignments.

"Oh, yeah, that," I said. "Right."

The pre-party party broke up then, and everyone went off in their own directions. I dropped my coat, gloves and scarf in my office before heading to the crypt to find my first autopsy.

I was lost in thought as I made my way back down the hall to the crypt and ran smack into a tall, hard body.

"Oof," I said, as I sloshed now-lukewarm coffee on my hand, down my arm and onto a white t-shirt with a funky black rose design. "Sorry, Nige," I said, as I looked up into Nigel Townsend's expressive black eyes.

"No worries, luv," Nigel said with a bright grin. "The shirt was altogether too white for my taste anyway."

I grimaced at the rapidly spreading double-mocha stain. "I'll pay to get it cleaned," I offered.

"Nah, no worries, Jordan. It'll come off," Nigel said with a wink. How the hell the guy could be that damn cheerful at eight in the morning was beyond me.

With a jaunty wave Nigel went his way and I went mine.

I sighed heavily as I watched him go.

Nigel Townsend. Nigel was my best friend in the office. Okay, he was really my best friend period. He and I had spent countless hours together at work, and countless hours together after work, getting drinks at my Dad's bar. Sometimes Lily, Bug or Garrett would join us, but a lot of the time it was just the two of us.

I had felt an affinity with Nigel from my first day at the morgue. He had a dark, skewed sense of humor, not unlike mine. And we had lots in common, from our taste in music to our love of Guinness.

There was a time when I thought Nigel and I could be more than just buds, but he had never made a move, and I wasn't about to make the first move. It wasn't in my makeup. Then Woody Hoyt came into the picture and in his All American Boy Next Door way, completely distracted me from obsessing over Nigel, who obviously wasn't interested in me. There couldn't have been two more opposite people than Nigel and Woody, and Woody was definitely the complete opposite of my 'type', if I had a 'type'.

Well, things with Woody went about as well as any other relationship I had ever been involved in. I had, over the course of the months we were…almost together…to sabotage the relationship in every way possible.

I have many theories as to why that is. Foremost in my mind is the realization that I always knew things would never work out between us, so it didn't matter anyway. In my screwed up way of thinking, it was easier to go into it knowing it wouldn't work, than to go into it thinking it would. Then, when it all went to hell, as it always did, you didn't hurt quite so much.

I went into Autopsy 3 and got into my scrubs and began my first autopsy of the day, on an old man that had been hit by a car. On Christmas Eve, of all things.

My mind wandered back to my love life. Or lack thereof. I sometimes thought that I purposely picked unavailable guys. Guys that I knew wouldn't commit, guys that I didn't really care about. It was part of a self-defense mechanism, or so I had been told by Dr. Stiles, our resident shrink.

I knew, deep down, that I cared for Nigel much more than I would admit. Even when I was…involved with Woody, Nigel was the one I went to when I needed to talk, needed to drink, needed to just….be. Nigel always let me be me. He never tried to change me, never wanted to hold me back. When I had one of my crazy ideas he didn't tell me that I was nuts, he asked what he could do to help.

That was why I had become so obsessed with Woody. Because I knew full well that I cared about Nige and I knew full well how badly he could hurt me if he didn't feel the same way. I was all about taking the path of least resistance. It seemed contrary for me to say that I didn't want to take a risk. I was known for the risks I took for my job. But my job was one thing.

My heart was another matter entirely.

But it was funny. Ever since things with Woody and me had gone south, I had started to realize a lot of things. When Devan came in to the picture, all blonde and cheerleadery, I had been struck, at first, with incredible jealousy.

It took me a while to realize what I was jealous of. I wasn't jealous of Devan, I wasn't jealous that Woody cared about her more than me, because I didn't really care about Woody.

It was just that I was jealous of the whole idea of caring about someone and having them care for you in return. The whole concept of love was foreign to me.

Then Devan had died and all of the resulting bullshit with Woody had happened, right up till now when we could barely even speak to each other.

I was okay with it now. Oh, I admit I wasn't okay with it for a good long while. It hurt, even though I didn't love him. More than anything, it hurt to lose the camaraderie that we had had, once upon a time.

But that was then, and now here I was, facing the thought of yet another lonely Christmas. Hell, this year I didn't even have my Dad, since he was still of 'finding himself', whatever that bullshit meant.

I sighed as I finished up the autopsy. I had managed to put myself in an even worse mood than I had started out in.

During a quick break between autopsies, I found myself in the kitchen, stirring disgusting powdered cream into a cup of stale coffee. I was staring into the cup, at the floating creamer islands when a voice from behind me startled me and almost made me drop the cup.

"Everything alright, luv?" Nigel asked.

I turned around and gave Nigel a half-smile. "Oh yeah. I'm fine. Just suffering from a bout of holiday depression," I said.

Nigel furrowed his brow and gave me a concerned look. "What is it, Jordan? You want to talk about it?"

I shrugged and took a sip of coffee, grimacing against the taste, but drinking it anyway because I needed the caffeine. "Oh, you know. The holidays just suck," I said.

Nigel raised an eyebrow. "Why is that, luv?"

As it always did, my heart fluttered a little with his endearment, even though I knew it didn't really mean anything. It was just one of his Britishisms.

I shrugged again. "Oh, I don't know," I said with a sigh. "Christmas used to be fun and exciting, but now that I'm old, it's just different."

Nigel snorted. "You're not old."

I rolled my eyes. "You know what I mean. And then with my Dad gone, the thought of being alone…" I snapped my jaw shut, shocked that I had just said that. What was I thinking? I didn't want anyone's pity, and if Nigel said anything to anyone someone might invite me over to their Christmas out of some skewed sense of guilt and I'd be mortified! "Oh, forget it. It's not a big deal. It's just Christmas," I said flippantly. I gagged down the rest of the coffee and tossed the Styrofoam cup into the trash before making a hasty retreat back to the autopsy room, leaving Nigel starting after me, a decidedly befuddled look on his face.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid." I muttered to myself as I slipped on a pair of latex gloves to start my next autopsy. I chalked it up to being tired and pushed it out of my mind as I focused on yet another dead body.

The rest of the day crept by, and when my shift was finally over I snuck back to my office and grabbed my coat, scarf and gloves and tried to make a quick getaway before the "Christmas Party" started.

I slunk around the corner and hit the down button, glancing furtively around. There was no one around, and I breathed a sigh of relief as the elevator dinged, thinking I was going to make a clean escape.

The elevator doors slid open and I practically dove into the elevator, very nearly plowing Lily down as she came out, carrying a white box with "Landry's Pastries" across the top.

She was now wearing a pair of brown felt reindeer antlers, and she looked crushed when she saw me. "Jordan, you're not leaving are you?" she asked. "The party's just starting!"

"I, uh…" I stuttered.

"Oh, c'mon Jordan! It'll be fun. You don't have to stay long, but come in for a minute! I even got a Yule log," she said, waving the box at me.

I sighed heavily. As much as I didn't want to have to go to the party, I knew I couldn't disappoint Lily. She had done a lot for me over the years, and very rarely asked for anything in return.

"Okay, okay," I said, "But I can't stay long."

Lily grinned. "That's okay! Thanks, Jordan!" She headed off down the hall and I followed, rolling my eyes.

We entered Autopsy One and found Nigel, Bug and Garrett already there. They were drinking what appeared to be Eggnog and talking and laughing.

Lily was arranging the Yule log on a crystal tray, and everyone looked up when I came in the room.

"Jordan! We were wondering where you were," Garrett said. "Have some Eggnog, it's great!"

I took the cup he handed me and took a sip and was more than a little surprised when it burned all the way down. Apparently someone had spiked the Eggnog, and judging by the way Garrett and Bug were singing along, off key, to the Christmas carols playing over the intercom, the party had been underway for a little while.

I stayed on the fringes while everyone talked and laughed and ate. There were sandwiches, a holiday ham, cheese and crackers as well as the Yule log. Lily had gone all out.

Soon conversation came around to everyone's holiday plans. Lily, it seemed, was joining Bug and his family for Christmas. Garrett was spending the holiday with his ex and his daughter. Nigel was going to party at a friend's house.

"What about you, Jordan?" Lily asked, and I could see the concern in her eyes.

"Oh, I'm going to a friend's house," I said lightly and Nigel gave me a probing look, which I ignored.

The party was winding down, and I decided it was as good a time as any to make my escape.

"Speaking of," I said, looking at my watch, "I should get going so I'm not late. Lisa will be all upset."

At that Nigel raised an eyebrow, which I also ignored.

"I should get going, too," he said quickly. I scowled at him, wondering what was up.

There was a round of hugs and happy holiday wishes when I finally made it to the doorway. "See you all on Monday," I said, trying to slip by Nigel, who was also slipping out the door.

"Hey, wait!" Lily said suddenly.

Nigel and I both froze and looked back. "What?" I said.

"Look up!" Lily said, practically jumping up and down in her excitement.

As one Nigel and I looked up, only to see a sprig of mistletoe, bedecked with a bright red ribbon. I felt my face turn the same color as the ribbon as I glanced over at Nigel, who was looking at the mistletoe with an unreadable expression on his face. I couldn't quite tell, but he almost looked pained.

"C'mon, c'mon, you have to kiss!" Lily said.

"Yeah, kiss her, Nige," Bug said, waving a glass of Eggnog.

I was afraid if we didn't just do it they were going to start a 'Kiss her!' chant, so without further adieu, I leaned up towards Nigel, prepared to give him a friendly smack on the cheek.

But before my lips made contact Nigel looked down at me with a fiery look in his black eyes and he slid his arms around my waist and lowered his lips to mine.

This was not your average mistletoe peck of a kiss. Nigel pulled him towards me in a kiss that curled my toes. I was half surprised that the smoke alarms didn't go off.

And, before I knew what I was doing, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back, pouring ten years of longing and frustration into that kiss.

His lips were soft and smooth and he tasted of eggnog and chocolate. My nose was filled with the scent of his spicy cologne and his body was strong and hard against me.

When the kiss finally ended I pulled back and looked at Nigel, my heart racing. He looked back, a hint of amusement in his black eyes.

We only looked away when a round of applause came from inside Autopsy One. I knew my face was flushed, and I tried to make my face blank before looking back at the rest of the gang, who were staring at me and Nigel as if one or both of us had just sprouted another head.

"Wow," Bug breathed. "I need to get me some of that mistletoe."

Lily was looking at me approvingly and Garrett winked, thought I don't know if it was directed towards me or Nige.

Feeling incredibly uncomfortable, I glanced back at Nigel, who still hadn't said a word. He seemed to be waiting for something, but I had no idea what.

I nibbled on my bottom lip, but when it was apparent that Nigel wasn't going to say anything, I decided to just play it down and I laughed. "Wow. Maybe we should have mistletoe around the office all the time," I said without thinking, then mentally kicked myself.

"Well, I should get going," I said. "I need to get to Elaine's."

"I thought you were going to Lisa's," Nigel stated.

"Oh, well, Lisa will be there, too," I covered quickly. "Happy holidays, all," I said, and gave an awkward little wave before practically running towards the elevator.

I hit the down button and the doors slid open. I practically leapt inside and frantically hit the 'door close' button.

The doors were just sliding closed when Nigel came skidding around the corner. "Jordan, wait!" he called, trying awkwardly to slip into his black wool coat, his scarf hanging lopsidedly around his neck. But the doors slid shut, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

XxX Please review! Chapter 2 Coming Soon! XxXx