Slipped away

Pete sat in his friend's living room with coffee in hand. "So… did you cool off since last night?"

Clark sat beside him in the couch. "Yeah… sorry about that… I didn't mean to burst out at you guys…"

"Hey… don't apologize… there's too much stuff going on in your life… you of all people are entitled to blow off some steam… I mean… I can't possibly imagine what it must be like to be you Clark… and sorry to say… I'm glad I'll never know…" said Pete with a light smile.

"To tell you the truth… I too wish I never knew…" said Clark dejected.

"Clark come on you don't mean that…"

"Why not Pete? Because I have to be perfect for everyone else? Because I have to be a symbol? I want to at least have a remote semblance of life Pete! Something to make me feel like I'm not doing this alone and for nothing…"

"Look Clark… I have to admit that we're partly to blame for this… I mean we were the only people who knew your secret and we all just drifted apart…"

"No! For God's sake Pete. I'm not blaming you or Chloe… I mean… you have your lives to live… you mustn't be a slave of this secret I placed on you…"

"That's not the point Clark… you have to know that whatever is going on you still can count on me for help, whenever you need it. Please don't hesitate to lean on us for help Clark. I mean… come on… you help the world… it's only fair that you have someone to help you occasionally."

Clark smiled… "Thanks buddy."

"No prob. Now risking having a major deja-vu, I'll ask… What's going on with Lana?"

Clark looked down. "I'm not sure Pete… I mean…it's too complicated…"

"Clark… these things… are never as complicated as you make them out to be… you always had a talent in finding complications in such matters, especially when Lana was concerned… I was always wondering why you did it?"

Clark smiled weakly. "Maybe… but don't forget what you said Pete… you can never know what it's like being me… so…"

"Ok… ok… point taken… But tell me… What exactly do you find complicated this time?"

"Well… for starters… I don't know how I feel about her…" said Clark

Pete looked at him, with obvious sarcasm in his face. "Yeah right… and Satan just called me to ask for skiing equipment…"

"What? How can you be so certain when even I don't know what to think…" said Clark defensively.

"Clark come on… this is Lana we're talking about… As long as you both live, there's always going to be love … -and tension apparently-… between you."

"Maybe you're right… But Pete… I've hurt her so much… And not just once… I hurt her over and over again… when all I was trying to do was protect her and make sure she was happy… and a fine job I did at that…" said Clark sighing with frustration.

"I mean… I personally invited her to my wedding… while I wasn't completely over her, thinking that if I saw her there, I could finally close that chapter of my life… and what happened? … I saw her there, I felt miserable for putting her through that and I actually had a crappy time at my own wedding… What the hell was I on?" yelled Clark with frustration.

"But Clark… you never told me… why did you decide you wanted to put her behind you in the first place?" asked Pete.

Clark sighed. "I did it for her own good… at least that's what I thought."

------------------------------

24 years old

Clark was flying towards Milan. He was feeling excited and terrified at the same time. After spending almost 4 years living alone and secluded from the world, he saw that he couldn't go on like that. He was feeling miserable and after some long talks with his mother, he decided that it was about time he once more became a part of human society. He was going to start his life in Metropolis. What he would do exactly he wasn't sure, but he knew who would be the first person to know about his decision.

As he landed near her apartment, he quickly changed to his normal clothes and went up the flight of stairs as quickly as he could. He knocked on her door. He didn't call her as he wanted it to be a surprise. His mother had confirmed to him, that every time Lana called, he was the main subject of conversation, which of course convinced him that she hadn't forgotten him.

No answer came, and he considered going all over Milan looking for her, but then he decided to stay and wait for her. He went to the apartment opposite hers –much like he had done all the other times he had visited her- and patiently waited. After a couple of hours, he saw her returning, but Clark's heart fell. She wasn't alone. She was walking hand in hand with another guy, and she was smiling. She seemed happy. Clark berated himself for thinking that she would have waited for him for so long. He was at a loss. He didn't know what to do.

Should I at least go talk to her? But what good will that do? She has moved on, and it's good for her she did so… besides… the fact that I'll be living in Metropolis doesn't change things that much. It's still dangerous to be around me and it's not fair to her to live such a life… Maybe it's for the best that she found someone to move on… But I love her… Can I live my life without her… Not have her in my life at all? … I don't think I can do that… But maybe with time, when I'm more settled in my life… we could at least be friends… This thing is a curse… what other sacrifices will I have to do? I mean… she's the only good thing in my life… and I have to leave it?

Face it Clark… she is better off without you… besides if she saw me now… I would only mess her up even more… she seems happy right now… it would be selfish of me to take that away from her… I must do this for her… I must let her go…

Goodbye Lana… I hope I see you in the future… I'll always love you…

With that Clark took off in the night Milan sky.

Lana thought she saw something flying off in the sky with the corner of her eye, and as she turned to look, she sent a silent prayer to Clark.

To be Continued…