Tadah! I'm late, but that's ok. Happy birthday Hitsugaya! This fanfic took me about two hours to write, at 6 in the morning. I am so tired. Anyways, my first real attempt at angst here. Mild spoilers for Soul Society. Please enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. You'd think the lawyers would've figured it out by now. Hmm.
They threw me a party. Cake, presents, those stupid hats from the human world. Shunsui brought sake. I spent half the afternoon fighting off a drunken Matsumoto. Not fun. It was nice of them, though; of everyone. Hell, even Kuchiki-taichou showed up, if only because Rukia dragged him there.

The whole time though, it feels wrong.

Something is missing.

No.

Someone is missing.

Everyone had a good time. Rukia even brought human games, much to Ichigo's chagrin. I'm never playing twister again. Drunken idiots…

But at the same time everyone seems

Somehow uncomfortable.

Like the whole room is holding its breath

Waiting for someone else to walk through the door.

Like everyone can hear the deafening silence

Of that one missing…

There were weird presents, too. Apparently, 'novelty items' are 'all the rage' in the human world. I don't think a T-shirt bearing crude phrases and depictions would be too welcome at the captains' meetings. Matsumoto seemed to like it. She can have it if she wants. Might not fit, though. This comment voiced earned me a slap upside the head. Everyone laughed.

But it's like I'm hearing it through a filter.

Others feel it, too.

It's like I'm focusing, listening

For something not there.

One laugh ringing out, familiar to all.

But it's not there…

The party wound down. Just the odd circle of drunks left, still celebrating in my honour. I told Matsumoto I'd see her in the office the next morning. Then I fall wordlessly into step with Uohana-taichou. She didn't need to ask, I didn't need to tell.

And we both know why.

Why the day seemed so wrong.

Why every laugh, every teasing voice, every drunken slur

Felt so empty.

Because she wasn't there with us.

I sat beside her on the bed. She only looked asleep. And I prayed to whatever gods there might be that that's all it was. Just asleep. Not comatose, alone, unmoving, and not here with me…

And as tears flow down my cheeks

I call out to her

For her to wake up, to open her eyes,

To move at least.

I shouldn't.

This isn't the first year it's happened.

…I miss her.

Uohana let me spend the night. She always had since the first time I cried myself to sleep by that same bedside.

I went back today; tired of paperwork, and lonely despite Matsumoto's company. She's still here. I'm never disappointed by her absence.

"You missed my birthday again," I tell her. Silence.

"That's ok. Matsumoto would've gotten you drunk anyway." I tried again.

"You should see the weird things they do for parties in Ichigo's world." More silence. I take her hand, ignoring the pain in my chest. Fighting tears, I whisper,

"It's alright. Maybe you'll wake up in time for your birthday, Momo."

And I know Matsumoto is at the door, watching me. I know when I finally give into my grief, she'll come and help me back to the office. But for now, I can be content with Hinamori's company, no matter how one-sided it might be.

"Happy birthday to you…

Happy birthday to you…

Happy birthday dear Shiro-chan…

Happy birthday to you."

I was almost crying myself when I finished this. I like writing Hitsugaya like this; he's so sad and vulnerable, like a little kid. Anyways, please tell me what you think!