Blind Wind: Chapter 2 - Gazing Upon Two Split Sides

I am probably going to make this four chapters actually, seeing how I'm going to plan it all out

Fuji walked solemnly down the street, each step taken with extreme care. His hands were cupped together in the front of his brown furry coat. A soft breeze encircled him, bristling through his hair for only a few seconds before it traveled even further down the road.

Although he kept his eyes straight forward, his head raised up, his shoulders and his back straightened, his skin exhibited an obvious pale color. More than that, his eyes didn't glow like the sea as it had before: instead, a dull emptiness dominated the blue color.

It didn't occur to Fuji where he was heading for. In fact, he didn't have the slightest clue why he was even out here. His sister, Yumiko, had left a letter noting that she would be back late and the only thing Fuji remembered after that was slowly making his way out of the house.

He felt the stain in his eyes. Was he crying? He didn't even know. His mind had already gone blank, had already stopped thinking since yesterday. His heart had already stopping beating since that occurrence with Tezuka.

Suddenly, Fuji laughed. "So this is how it feels like to lose someone so close to you ne? Maa, I haven't felt like this in such a long time."

Yes, that's right, it had been quite a while since he had endured this feeling. It has happened before, but somehow, it never occurred to Fuji that it would happen again. The last time, Yuuta had left him and although a tear did not leave his eyes, a part of Fuji had left along with his younger brother.

But he survived that time. That's right. He was strong, a powerful wind, and so, he survived. Which means, he should be able to survive this time round.

Right? Isn't that how it is supposed to be?

Right?

Right but no. The answer was that simple.

Fuji wasn't strong anymore. In fact, he has never been strong. So how he had managed to survive without Yuuta in his life, he had Tezuka.

Fuji smiled to himself. Ah, that same feeling, the feeling of care, of hope and love. Even after Yuuta had gone, Tezuka was still there. Maa, so it wasn't that bad before. Tezuka founded comfort for Fuji and that was basically all Fuji had ever asked for. He asked for it and Tezuka gave it to him.

But now…

Hadn't they all left him just the same? Yuuta? And now Tezuka? Everyone he had loved? Everyone he had cared for? Hadn't they all just torn him apart?

It didn't matter how much Fuji cared anyone. No, it didn't matter. He could give up his life for someone and that person would never realize that. No one ever did.

He smiled sadly. "Heh, and I had even thought he loved me. How clumsy I had been."

Ring! Ring!

Tezuka hurried out the shower room, a towel wrapped around his waist and another over his hair. He picked up the phone.

"Moshi moshi?"

"Ah, Tezuka!" The familiar voice happily responded. "How's it going?"

Tezuka clasped the phone in between his ear and his shoulder, busily drying his hair. "What is it, Oishi?"

"Ah, nothing to worry about. I was wondering if you knew where Fuji was."

He frowned. Again? When it came to Fuji, everyone always asked Tezuka about him. Somehow, this aggregated him even more.

"Iya. Why?"

Oishi sighed. "Ah, nothing. Eiji called me. He said he tried to get in contact with Fuji to ask for homework help in one of the classes they had together, but it seemed like Fuji isn't home. He had called about three times already and no one picked up the phone."

He chuckled. "Heh, and so because I didn't have Fuji's number, I thought you might know. I mean, you two are pretty close friends. But I guess you---"

"He is no friend of mine." The sudden harsh voice echoed on both sides of the phone line.

Oishi stopped, his eyes widening, his laughter diminishing in one split second. What did Tezuka say? Did Oishi hear him out right?

Tezuka, though always stern and almost emotionless in the way he always speaks, this time though, every word came from a deep meaning of rejection and denial. True, Oishi had noticed that Tezuka wasn't much in a mood today (not that he ever has one), but he had always thought it was because Fuji didn't come to tennis practice. And adding to that, it was considerable that Tezuka knew the reason why.

But now, to hear Tezuka say such words, all full of emotion, hate and disgust…

"He is no friend of mine," Tezuka repeated. And he hung up the phone.

This is how a true man honors his values. It is something so deep it is in the bones. The pain of the flesh means nothing. The pain you must forget because sometimes, that is the only way to remember what is in the bones. You must peel off the skin until there is nothing. Nothing at all. No scar, no skin, no flesh. No pain, no nothing.

Fuji wondered if that was what Tezuka did as he stared up at the window. He wondered, did Tezuka see him? Did he notice his prescence? Could he sense him? And if he did, did he even bother that Fuji was standing right in front of his house?

Nothing at all. No scar, no skin, no flesh. No pain, no nothing.

Nothing at all…no pain…

In his mind, Fuji kept questioning to himself, inquisitive as he is. Maybe Tezuka's way of forgetting the past was forgetting the pain. Perhaps to deal with the pain, one must forget about the past. It's a one-to-one ongoing moral: forgetting everything that happened between them.

Fuji grimaced. How strong, to forget someone so close so easily, Fuji thought.

Suddenly, Fuji saw Tezuka appear at the window. The eyes, the brown eyes, glaring down at him.

So the flesh is gone, the bone is exposed. The eyes told everything.

Leave, it said.

Simple, yet hurtful.

Go away. You don't belong here.

Fuji looked away at that. So where exactly did he belong? Where exactly should he go? He came here, at Tezuka's porch steps, at his house. And now Tezuka tells him to go somewhere else. So where?

Nowhere. Fuji looked up again. Tezuka was still there.

Once you're burned, it'll only hurt the most when the heat stings the bones. The stinging red and orange substance eats away the skin and the flesh, peeling it off in the most sickening way. Then it goes even deep and chews on the bones, the deepest part of a human being.

And like now, Fuji winced as he found himself the victim of Tezuka's eyes that shined like fire. It was cutting him open and invading the sacred values Fuji kept so precious to himself. Was it really so easy for Tezuka to pretend to forget him?

So he should, Fuji responded, his eyes gazing up to send each message.

You're still mad, aren't you? Yet, I don't even know why.

No reply.

His blue eyes filled up with grief, dim like the drought of ten suns in the eastern sky. Help me out here, Tezuka. Tell me. What did I do to you? Why must you be angry?

And then Tezuka turned away, the curtains unfolded themselves and quietly stabilized just as still as the night outside.

Author's notes: Well, if you're confused about the italics part when Fuji and Tezuka were speaking, it's by eye contact. You know, it's not worded, but the meaning stays the same.

Anyways, hope it wasn't so bad. Thanks for the reviews everyone, it helped me out greatly.