Ah, thanks a lot for the reviews pplz! Here is the next chapter. It's a bit longer than the other ones, but it's probably going to be the longest chapter of the whole story anyways. The forth chapter would be the final one, so it's almost close to done XD
Oh, and please excuse me for my spelling or grammar errors. Getting a little lazy afterwards It's like starting off so perfectly, then running out of time and rushing over everything else. But don't worry, this chappie basically has all the confusions puzzled out together. Enjoy!
He almost cursed himself for turning away because the next moment he looked out the window, there were no signs of Fuji anywhere nearby already. But then, it stunned him how he was reacting.
It's been like this always. Even as much as Tezuka tried to turn away from Fuji, tried to ignore him, tried to pretend that he didn't care or just wasn't there, a part of him somehow yearned to be there anyhow. It was as if he had no control over his emotions, over his actions. What Fuji was doing to him was beyond imagination; Fuji was holding him in his hands, clinging onto him and Tezuka could do nothing about this.
He punched his pillow. Why, he thought, why are you aiming at me? Why have I become your victim? Why have I given in for so long? Why didn't I see the real you before? You scowl, Fuji, you hideous creature.
So what now, Fuji? Do you see? You're weak. Without me, you're nothing at all. And now everyone will see what kind of man you really are. You'll never be able to smile like that again, I guarantee you. You'll never be able to taunt me like you did before, ever, ever again.
"You'll never succeed," Tezuka growled. "I'll make sure of that."
And through the middle of his mind that raced like clouds in a turmoil, the doorbell rung.
"You want something to drink?"
From across the room, Oishi shook his head. "Iya, I didn't come over to have a cup of tea." He grinned and put down his tennis bag onto the floor.
Tezuka sighed and walked out of the kitchen. "What are you doing here then?"
"Ah me?" Oishi scratched his head. "Ah, nothing at all. I just thought you might like a friendly visit. You know, since your parents are out for these few days, I wanted to check up on you and see how you're doing."
Oishi smiled. And Tezuka examined that smile carefully.
Liar, he thought.
"Talk to me now," he demanded. "I have other things to take care of also."
He need not say any more. He knew Oishi well, for they've been friends since the first year of middle school. And he need not do more than to sit on the sofa because he knew very well that Oishi would talk to him now.
Whatever the matter was, Tezuka planned to make it short and simple. For some reason, he wasn't in the mood for chats, not that he had ever been, anyhow.
Oishi sat down, his face serious, his expression stern and considerate. "Tezuka, what happened?"
"What do you mean?" Tezuka asked quickly even though he knew already.
"You and Fuji. What happened?"
Silence in the room flowed around, drifting in every corner of the house. The wind blowing outside could keenly be heard and the flickering of the light remained intact in their eyes as they stared into their own comfort zones.
The lingering quietness of the environment made Oishi uneasy after about 7 minutes and thinking that perhaps Tezuka did not want to discuss about the situation, he got ready to stand up.
"He has no place anywhere."
Oishi stopped and lifted his head by surprise at Tezuka's response.
"In society, in school, during tennis practice, even during the weekend fun, he has no heart for anyone around him." Tezuka lifted his head, laid back, and stared at the ceiling, as if melting his thoughts through the roof and out into he atmosphere, where it all disintegrates and slowly dissolves into the air around.
"No stranger can see who Fuji really is. His smile protects him, it soothes all the people around him. His soft voice, his facial expressions, they all seem so simple on the surface. Everything seemed so conservative.
"But no. I saw him. I saw deep into him, who he truly is and had always been. And the smile on his face is completely unrelated to what I had saw."
Tezuka clasped his hands together. Oishi continued to watch his friend.
"He was weak. Yes he was. He let me get too close, close enough to find his true face. Baka Fuji. Baka, he can actually think that he can hold me up for life in a world of fantasy? His world? A world where he pretends to be someone else and I believe every fake word he says and the actions he does?" Tezuka's face turned into a mix of anger and hatred, his fists and teeth clenched tight.
"That was why I left him. His smile was neither happiness nor smpahty. It traumatized me. It was taunting. And his quiet, sweet-like voice, I found, cannot comfort you. Instead, it stays inside you, haunting you, cursing you. It is an addiction. One word out of his mouth and suddenly, you are pulled within his range.
"He is beyond cruel, this Fuji Syusuke. All that he has and all that he can give to the world is famine and devastation. Look at him! His ridiculous smile, his thin size, his sickly pale and fragile skin, and his enjoyment of every haunt he poses onto his victims. He frightens them, controls them, and make them his dagger.
"I don't want to be used. I have no wish to become a dog for Fuji, to do what he planned, to fall into his traps. He has no right to control me. That is why I left him. Because I chose to let free of his grasp, his weak grasp."
Suddenly, Tezuka smiled. "And now look at him. Look at his true self. He is nothing at all, he isn't strong, he isn't self-sufficient. Instead, he is like a flower vase. Once the flower is removed, the vase has no use anymore and then it is abandoned. No more use, because the flower is gone."
The two met eye contact. Oishi had a soft expression on his face, one of sympathy and consideration. Another part of him tried to comprehend and elaborate the true meaning of Tezuka's words.
Tezuka sighed. "You probably don't know the real meaning of what I'm really talking about Oishi. That is fine. I was once a close friend of his and that was how I knew. I don't expect that you understand my words fully."
"That's right Tezuka."
Tezuka turned down and looked at Oishi questioningly.
"That's right, Tezuka," Oishi repeated, his head cowering his face down toward the floor. A low, quiet tone to his voice hinted a slight sadness within. "And I don't expect that you understood Fuji either, even as how close you may have gotten to him, you never knew him well enough."
Tezuka looked at his friend. "What do you mean by that? I tell you, you know nothing about Fuji."
Oishi looked up. "No Tezuka, you don't. There is still so much you haven't learned yet."
He frowned. "And what don't I know?" he challenged.
"Many things," Oishi took a deep breath. "You don't know anything at all."
"Like?" Tezuka wanted to yell. Perhaps he shouldn't have told Oishi that long speech he just made earlier. Why couldn't Oishi get it? Tezuka didn't expect him to understand well, but it seemed like Oishi had his own side to this. Out of all the people, Oishi always understood Tezuka. So now, why couldn't he understand?
"Like…like the fact that he loved you."
He froze.
"Fuji loved you, Tezuka. That was something you did not see."
That night, Tezuka laid in his bed, his eyes open, staring at the ceiling and the shadow of the light out his window. He had rewind his memory over and over again, making sure he did not detect a mistake, making sure that what he had heard were the exact words that Oishi said. Throughout the whole night, he could not sleep.
Fuji loved you, Tezuka. That was something you did not see.
Fuji…loved me?
Yes, that was what Oishi had said. And Oishi, Tezuka knew, unlike Fuji, always told the truth as it is.
And the conversation replayed again in his head.
"Fuji…loved me?" Tezuka said quietly.
Oishi remained silent. After all, there was nothing more to say then.
Tezuka looked at him. "I don't know what you mean."
"That's just it. You don't understand anything. Everything you see in Fuji is evil, is always the opposite of everything. But you can't see the truth."
Oishi stared at Tezuka. "Tezuka, you even said so yourself. You said he was weak. Actually, he is weak. But he is weak without the essentials he needs in life. He needs you Tezuka. He needs you to be strong."
His voice grew louder.
"That's right, you said so yourself even! You said that he let you get too close. He let you get too close to him to seek out his real self, his true identity. That's just it, Tezuka. He wanted you to see him because he trusted you. He put every heart, everything he loved so much, everything in reliance upon you!"
Suddenly, Oishi stood up, angry eyes steaming hot like fire into Tezuka's.
"And then you destroyed him! You couldn't see him, you couldn't see what he wanted, what he intended to do so. You used the fact that he let you come into his heart, you used that privelege and tore his whole being apart! Look what you did Tezuka-san! TEZUKA!"
Oishi extended out his arm and pointed a threatening pointer at the shocked Tezuka. "Weak you say? Fuji? Weak? I say he is strong. He is strong on the inside and the outside. As for you, you are weak, Tezuka. You were given something and not only did you throw it aside, you wrecked it! You wrecked Fuji! And for that, you are a mentally ill and weak man.
"And you say he controls you? You control yourself! You make yourself think that what he is doing is just selfishly taking you over! So once you felt something for him, you think that he is jailing you? Trapping you? Locking you within an imaginary tower?"
Tezuka was frozen to this spot, all the while taken aback by his friend's anger. Not a word could leave his throat. Neither a sound nor a peep.
Oishi softened his temper and placed a hand over Tezuka's shoulder. "Tezuka, do something for me tonight…"
Lying in his bed, Tezuka recalled Oishi's words.
"Remember the time when you helped him stand up when Fuji lose his younger brother, Yuuta? Remember that, Tezuka?"
Tezuka sat up on his bed. That was quite a while ago.
But Tezuka frowned at himself. What was Oishi getting at there? What had happened that time was dim in Tezuka's memory. What had he said? What ha dhe specifically said to Fuji? Yes, he remembered having helped Fuji somehow, so what was it that was bothering him?
Suddenly, his head jerked up. He had said…he had promised Fuji something…
But…
What had he promised?
Author's notes: Ne, so how was it then? I thought it was a bit corny and I'm not that great at expressing Tezuka's emotions, so please forgive me for that ; I enjoyed writing this chapter. And just as so, I hope you all enjoyed reading the chapter as well.
Next up! The FINAL chapter XD Lol, it's quite a short story then.