Obi-Wan stood in timeout and pouted. He watched Qui-Gon work at his desk. Obi-Wan folded his arms. "C'mon, I didn't do anything bad! Windu liked it." Qui-Gon turned to regard him and held up a finger.

"No talking in timeout." he said simply and turned back to his paperwork. Obi Wan rolled his eyes and turned back to face the wall.

In the Jedi Council Room...

Windu: "Obi-Wan is too reckless."
Yoda: "Seemed to like the purple lightsaber, you did."
Adi Gallia: "Yes, you said he was a great Jedi."
Windu: "That was before he short sheeted my bed."
Yoda: (chuckle) "Rather funny, that was."
Windu: "Ha. Wait until he does it to you."
Yoda: "To short I am to be short sheeted."
Winda: "You have a point there."

Windu sighed and leaned back in his chair. Adi Gallia took a drink from her Pepsi can.

Adi Gallia: "You just can't beat these when they're really fresh."
Windu: "Do you have a suggestion? Or are you just going to sit there all night and swill Pepsi?"
Adi Gallia: "Windu, I have sipped, lapped, and taken Pepsi intravenously, but I have never SWILLED Pepsi."
Windu: "You did not answer my question. Do you have a suggestion as to what we should do with this...Brat?" Adi Gallia: "I say we shoot him."
Yoda: "My idea, that was!"
Adi Gallia: "Great minds think alike."
Yoda: "Oh, thank you."

Qui-Gon dismissed Obi-Wan after his time was up and went back to his paperwork. How could it be that he had taken this young man as his apprentice ten years ago, and yet he had made basically no progress? The teenage padawan was impossible. He seemed to come up with something new everyday. If not every five minutes. Perhaps he could talk to Yogurt about it. Sorry, em, Yoda. Yes, that was it. Anyway, he already knew his opinion. Shoot him. Well, they could not do that. Maybe if he approached him in a more submissive manner, NO! You could not be submissive to your apprentice. That is the sure path to destruction. They must forever know that the Master was in charge. But that didn't seem to be working. Maybe a bribe------ Suddenly Qui-Gon heard another scream, similar to the one Windu had voiced. He leapt up and ran to where the sound had come from. He ran into Yoda's quarters and stopped dead in his tracks. Yoda was standing front of his mirror, exaiming his pink hair. He turned around slowly and placed both hands on his cane.

Qui-Gon: "Was that scream you?"
Yoda: "Was it, yes."
Qui Gon: "It DID sound kind of backward. It sounded kind of like 'crams'. "
Yoda: "I believe missing the point you are."
Qui-Gon: "You're hair is pink? Goes nicely with the green."
Yoda: "Goes nicely, it does not."
Qui-Gon: "How did this happen?"
Yoda: "One wild guess, take you."
Qui-Gon: (sigh) "Obi-Wan"
Yoda: "Yes! Indeedy, yes! What going to do about this, am I?"
Qui-Gon: "Buy a fur coat?"
Yoda: "No, shoot you're padawan! I want to."

Qui-Gon sighed and walked across the room. He stopped at the window and folded his arms. He looked back at Yoda with seriousness and sadness in his eyes. "You know we cannot do that." he said and turned back to the window. Yoda banged his fist down on his desk.

He picked it up and looked at it. "Oh, hurt myself I did." he said and sucked on his thumb. Qui-Gon looked out the window. He could see Obi-Wan leaning against the stone wall, reading some sort of magazine. "Perhaps I should talk to him, level with him. Ask him why he does the things he does." he said and folded his arms.

Yoda snorted and looked in the mirror. "When pink YOUR hair is, look as good, you will not."

Moment later...

Qui-Gon quickly walked down the stone steps to stand in front of Obi-Wan. He stood silent for a moment. He was about to say something when he realized Obi-Wan was reading a Victoria Secrets magazine!

"What are you doing with that!" he demanded and snatched it. Obi-Wan grinned and shrugged. Qui-Gon glowered at him. "You know Jedis' are NOT to be interested in women!" he snapped at him.

Obi-Wan smiled. "Don't worry, I'm NEVER gonna get married, and I'm gonna teach all my children the same!"

Qui-Gon closed his eyes and counted to ten. He was here to talk to him, not yell at him. He opened his eyes and looked at the magazine. "Hey, is this the new edition?" he exclaimed. Obi-Wan smiled and pointed to a scantily dressed blonde.

"That one is my favorite." he said and grinned.

Qui-Gon snorted. "I can see why. However, I shall have to confiscate this."

Obi-Wan snorted. "I'll bet." he said and smirked at Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon let it pass and turned back to regard Obi-Wan. "I think we need to talk."

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes.

Obi-Wan: "Ok, the 'be good' lecture. Go at it."
Qui-Gon: "'Be good."
Obi-Wan: "Good lecture."
Qui-Gon: "My head hurts."
Obi-Wan: "Stop running into walls."
Qui-Gon: "I DO NOT run into walls!"
Obi-Wan: "You wouldn't if you would started believing your eyes when they say you're in front of one."

Qui-Gon paced back and forth. He was impossible! There was no other word for him! What could he do? What lesson could he teach him? And it bothered him so to see Obi-Wan leaning against that stone wall, smirking away, not a care in the world, watching him wrack his brains. Suddenly, an idea hit him. Yes! Why didn' t he think of it before? It was the most obvious answer! He smiled and ran back up the steps. Obi wan called back to him. "Don't let the wall hit you on the way up!"

End Of Chapter 2