There I was, minding my own damn business in the Prefect study room in the library, when he strides in, barely managing to not fall over from the weight of his enormous head. God, even when I just refer to him I get shivers of disgust and bile rises in my throat. I want to know who thought he should exist, with his cocky, big headed, "I'm the hottest thing to walk the Earth", attitude. Because really, he does nothing to contribute to the running and order of the world. He's stupid and pointless, like quidditch. Mosquito's do more than he does for goodness sake. I think we should just banish him from where normal human beings are and save us all the pain.
Sorry, I got a little carried away. Anyways… where was I? Oh yeah, so he parades into my study room and puts his books on the table, and knocks mine to the floor to make room for them.
"Evans, what a pleasant surprise!" Yeah right, what a load of dragon dung. I bet he had this planned. He's always trying to find ways to corner me and pressure me into going out with him. As if that would ever happen because I wouldn't touch him even if it would keep me from dying.
I shoot him the deadliest glare that I can muster and sigh loudly to show my annoyance. "What in the hell do you want? And please make this snappy 'cause I have papers to write." So here I am, trying to be as rude as I possibly can and he's got this Cheshire Cat smile plastered on his face like I'm some canary he's about to devour. If I couldn't get expelled for it, I would use a slicing charm and take that right off his face…
But my musing of ways to hurt him distracted me and he was able to sit down, putting his muddy feet up on the table, and right onto my Ancient Runes essay. "Well you see Evans; I have a proposition for you. And it really-"he starts to say before I cut him off.
"I'm sorry, but you took too long. I said to make it snappy, Potter, and obviously you can't get your mouth and brain to cooperate enough to get out a simple sentence. So if you would please get your nasty feet off my homework and leave I'll be able to hate you from a distance, just the way I like it."
Do you want to know what he did now? Well I'll tell you what he did; the smarmy bastard started laughing. Like what I was saying was funny! Can you believe his nerve? I call him stupid and nasty and tell him that I hate him and he starts to laugh! He has some serious problems.
"Fine," he chuckled, "I'll make this quick; will you go out with me?"
Ok, so it wasn't quite as bad and long winded as I thought it would be but it is still disgusting. He has asked me out every day of the school year for nearly five years now and just what makes him think I would change my mind?
"Potter, do you have Alzheimer's? Some sort of short term memory disorder? Or maybe all of the air in your head has created too much pressure on your small brain. You asked me the same question at lunch yesterday and I said no. You asked me at dinner: no. You asked me this morning during Defense and I told you that I would rather have sex with Snivellus in the middle of the dining hall than be in the same room alone with you.
"Not to mention that last night, after you asked me out at dinner, you had a date with Marlene McKinnon who just happens to be one of my best friends and she lives in the dorm room with me. So when she came in at around 3 o'clock in the morning, she was positively beaming and giddy because she just lost her virginity to 'Sex God James Potter' and she made sure to tell us all of the details and about how you promised to take her out again tonight.
"Now please, tell me why I should come anywhere near you out of my own free will, much less go out with you?" Ha! You should have seen the look on his face when I finished my tirade. He was shocked and he looked like a fish out of water. I almost grinned with satisfaction, but I caught myself just in time and continued to glare quite well.
But all too quickly, Potter regained his composure and smiled the annoying smile again and said simply, "Because I love you."
Have you ever heard a bigger bunch bull shit in your life? He loves me! Right! I don't even think Potter is capable of feeing anything but selfish, horny, or selfishly horny.
"No, you know what? I'm sick of this. I'm sick of your stupid mind games and your incessant begging and your relentless need to annoy me. Do not come in here and tell me that you love me out of nowhere. You don't even know me. And you're dating one of my best friends. How dare you say that to me? You have no right to mess with my head like that. So I'm leaving now and if you ever come near me outside of classes again I will castrate you and tell Marlene what you said. See how many times you get laid after that, Mr. Potter."
This whole time I had been throwing things into my bag and I finally pulled it over my shoulder and practically ran as fast as I could out the door. But I did hear him say to himself, "I think she's warming up to me."
As if.