Disclaimer: see chapter one

4 Remus

When he had got home that night, he remembered that he had been very confused. On the one hand he was glad to have escaped this noisy family whose members seemed to be happy all the time, on the other hand he had also felt a bit jealous. The same feeling he had had when he had been at Hogwarts as a boy. Jealous that others had loving families who were sending letters and parcels. Families you longed to join on holidays. Not that his parents had beaten him. Most of the time their cruelty had simply consisted in ignoring him and showing him their indifference when he was around...

'Hi, Severus', haven't seen you for quite a while. How is it going? Something wrong?'

Severus was roughly pulled away from his sad memories when he heard the werewolf's voice. He was very much aware that he must be looking a bit stupid the way he was standing at the counter holding his tray of lunch items, totally lost in thought. Remus Lupin was standing right in front of him. He wore his usual friendly expression on his still youthful but lined face and when he saw that Severus finally reacted to his attempts to speak to him, he even smiled. The former Potions master wondered why, because the two had never been very close, let alone friends. But Remus was a very friendly person in general, and a sinister looking Severus Snape wasn't going to change that easily.

The Potions master's feelings towards his former colleague were divided for the obvious reason. On the one hand, he didn't mind the werewolf being around. He appreciated his uncomplicated behaviour and his friendly attitude. Come to think of it, Severus enjoyed talking to Remus very much. He was, in fact, one of the few wizards he had contact with, except from Harry and Arthur Weasley and a few of the old members of the Order who were also working at the Ministry. Other wizards in the Ministry seemed to avoid him when he had to leave the registry for a task. Well, he could understand that. The dark part of his life was widely known, especially since he had become 'famous' as a member of the Order of the Phoenix who had so spectacularly helped to overcome the Dark Lord.

On the other hand, every time he had to look into the werewolf's eyes, the memory of this incident from all those years back sprang to his mind vividly, recalling the roaring beast which had nearly killed him. A memory he still had nightmares about on a regular basis. But then, they had something in common apart from the fact that they had both been members of the Order. Remus wasn't exactly what you would call popular either. As a werewolf, he belonged to the less respected part of the wizarding community, to put it politely. The job as a werewolf streetworker he did for the Ministry made him only more suspicious in most wizards' eyes.

'Not too bad. But I would be grateful if you could do me a favour and put a cooling spell on the soup and tea', Severus finally answered Remus' question.

'What?' Lupin looked a bit confused and then embarrassed. After three years he was obviously still not very familiar with the concept of Severus Snape needing help in magical matters.

'Of course. Here you go.' He pulled his wand from his sleeve and murmured a quick spell. 'May I join you for lunch?'

'Yes, sure'.

Remus joined him on a spare table after he had helped himself to some sandwiches and a pumpkin juice. He looked very tired and had dark shades under his eyes.

'You look as if you could do with a coffee, Remus.'

'True. I was up the whole night. But I don't drink coffee or anything remotely intoxicating when the full moon is near. Makes the transformation better bearable. Well, that's what I keep telling myself. Apart from the wolfsbane potion there is not really much you can do to make it easier.'

'I see. What on earth are you doing in this job that keeps you out of bed at night? Maybe we should swap once in a while. Mine is quite, ... well, sleep encouraging.'

'Oh, I don't think you would like what I'm doing, Severus.' Remus smiled weakly. 'I was after a werewolf who was bitten only last month and shows suicidal tendencies. The department also thinks that he might run wild, and we cannot afford another muggle being bitten like last year.'

'I see what you mean. Do they provide you with the wolfsbane at the Ministry?'

'Oh yes, fortunately, they do. For all of us. They give it out on the evening before the transformation when we all meet in the dungeons.'

'All of 'us'? So you transform together, here in the Ministry dungeons?' Severus asked in disbelief.

'Oh, I would have thought you knew that. Yes, in fact, we are obliged to do that. Every werewolf living in London must report to the Ministry on a full moon to be kept safe. It's the same in other densely populated areas. There are some similar dungeons in Birmingham, Bristol, well everywhere where a lot of muggles live and you cannot hide undetected.'

'And if you live in the countryside. Would it be different then?' Severus asked, now a bit interested. Although he had known Remus for a long time and they met frequently in the Ministry he had never really known what kind of life he was forced to live because of his condition and what he actually did during a full moon. Well, if he was being honest, he would normally have avoided thinking of Remus when a full moon was approaching as he would see him or what would be his animal form anyway during his promptly occuring nightmares at that time of the month.

'Yes. If you are able to proof that you have a kind of strong cell in your house and that you will stay there safely under the influence of the wolfsbane, or even better, guarded by a trusted member of family, they might allow you to stay at your own place. But that doesn't happen very often. There are a few I know of, but in general, the Ministry officials don't believe in beeing too soft on werewolves. If I have to stay away for some reason, or cannot be sure to be back in time, I sometimes take the wolfsbane in advance. But that would be an exception. As I said, most of us from around London meet here. It's not that bad, you know. Kind of a friendly meeting. Especially for me. That way I am able to see most of my 'clients'. It's very peaceful, really. Most of the time we sleep anyway, after the howling, of course. It wouldn't be that bad if it wasn't for the excruxiating pain of the transformation itself . '

'Howling? You mean, you will all be sitting there to howl at the moon, like real wolves?' Severus asked disbelievingly.

Remus had only given this detailed description of what occurred regularly every month in the Ministry's werewolf dungeons to put Severus' mind at ease. Although he knew that the subject was by no means one of the former Potions master's favourites, he would have thought that if he gave him a bit of an insight he would lose a bit of his fears. In many cases knowledge turns out to be an effective weapon against fear. As a former Defense teacher, Remus knew about that. But the very picture of a pack of werewolves in the Ministry dungeons howling at the moon seemed to have unsettled Severus even more.

'Why, yes. What's wrong about that?'

'Well, I would have thought that under the influence of the wolfsbane, you keep your will, you are master of your doings, so to speak. But if you are actually howling at the moon, it's like . well . like you would be real wolves, animals, I mean .' he didn't know how to go on.

'No no, Severus. There you are misunderstanding something. It's true, there is a strong desire to howl, even under the wolfsbane, but if we wished, we could refrain from that. But you also have to understand, Severus, that the howling is a kind of bonding, makes you feel that you belong to a group, makes you feel less lonely. Most of the werewolves have no family or have lost them under tragic circumstances. We are not wanted by most of the society, we are loners. And when we howl together, it's a bit like . family. Do you understand that?'

'I certainly got your point, Remus, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to feel easy about the fact, that every full moon there will be all these werewolves howling in the dungeons. Really.'

'Yes. What I simply wanted to convey was that it's probably the safest thing that way. If we are all gathered in the dungeons, I mean', Remus stated in his attempt to convince Severus.

'If you say so.'

'And it's not that you will be at the Ministry at that time, or are you working over hours?'

'Merlin, no', Severus snorted, 'I prefer to sleep in my bed at home at night. That's more comfortable than the desk. Anyway, the next full moon will be at Halloween, won't it? I have got an invitation to a party at the house where I've got my flat.'

'A Halloween party? With muggles? You are not serious, are you? Now, that's certainly something to look forward to.' Now it was Remus who was wearing a look of amused disbelief.

'You are not being sarcastic, Remus Lupin, are you? I thought, that was rather my field of expertise. Now, I ask you, why shouldn't I? If I am living with them, I can as well join them at a party.' He felt rather smug, now that he had accomplished the task of astonishing Remus, which wasn't always easy.

'No, sorry, of course not. But I would have thought . have you ever . I mean .'

'What?' Severus demanded sharply.

'You are well aware that Halloween for muggles has to do with lots of, well, their idea of ghosts and all sorts of things and . even .. wizardry?' Remus tried.

'Oh I know what you mean. Well, at this festivity, people even dress in costumes. And, well, I have to admit that it was rather a bit foolish of me, but I promised to dress as a wizard.'

At that statement Remus' mouth dropped open. After a while of what looked like gathering thoughts the werewolf asked in disbelief 'You are not telling me that you will grab your old Hogwarts robes and turn up at a muggle party in full attire, are you?'

'Yes, I do.'

'Then you must be either out of your mind or unspeakably brave.' Remus was shaking his head.

'Why. It's not illegal, is it?. I mean, they don't know that I am ... uhm ... a wizard.'

'It's not that, Severus. It's probably not my business, but don't you think, you will feel, uhm, a bit uncomfortable?' Remus tried again.

'Well, as you said correctly, that's indeed not your business. You'll have your party and I'll have mine. If you wish, I can tell you about it later. But for now, I think I have an appointment with Harry. See you.' Saying this, he stood up leaving the werewolf staring after him.