CF101: Well, this is it. The last chapter of How Marik and Bakura Stole Snow, Err, Christmas! I hope you all have enjoyed this story.
I own nothing but the fic. Nothing but the fic.
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Marik slowly opened his eyes, groaning as the light hit them. Muttering incoherently, he turned over, thinking he could still sleep for a few more hours this morning…
'Morning!' Eyes flying open, Marik shot up, realizing that it was indeed morning. The pitch black sky was now a bluish gray, and silvery dew clung to everything. But wasn't he just…
Everything came flying back to him as Marik sat there. Last night, the stealing, the manga, Bakura scaring off the Wheeler girl, tying him to the front of the sleigh, and the bird…that cursed bird that Bakura paid.
"Good morn-OUCH!" Bakura fell on his butt after being socked on the nose by a very angry Marik. "Heh, I guess you remember last night then?"
Angry nod.
"Yes well, it wouldn't have happened if it hadn't been for your smart mouth."
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't pummel you."
"…Well…uh…"
"Your stuttering speaks volumes," Marik growled, raising a fist before realizing where they were.
"Bakura! We're on Kaiba's blimp!"
"You're just noticing that?" Bakura shook his head and stood up. "Yeah, I stole his stuff last. And let me tell you, that man has one heck of a security system."
"What did he have? Lasers? Motion sensitive floors and walls?"
"No, about a hundred pit bulls. And those things bite!" Marik sweat dropped as Bakura continued. "Anyways, to escape the evil Chihuahuas-"
"I thought you said they were pit bulls."
"They were evil mini mutts, sheesh. Anyway, to escape the things, I hid in Kaiba's hanger, where I saw the blimp and stole it for kicks."
"For kicks?"
"Yeah. Marik, what better place to watch the mortal's reactions to what we have accomplished then from at this altitude?"
"…" Bakura sighed.
"I used too many words. Marik, the blimp is high up. We can see people's reactions better from up here. And then we can use Kaiba's screen thingie to broadcast the fact that we did it so they can worship us with snicker doodles for getting rid of the snow."
"Oh!" Marik nodded. "Why didn't you say that in the first place?" Bakura shook his head.
"There's no hope for you." Closing his eyes, the Millennium Ring began to glow again, and this time Marik saw seven portals, each showing one member of the Yugi-tachi waking up. He looked at Bakura. "Is there anything that item can't do?"
"Marik, if the Millennium Ring could do everything, I would be ruling the world and Yami would be bald, running my baths and massaging my feet."
Marik chose not answer as he and Bakura watched Yugi and the others waking up that Christmas, like so many others, to find no presents under their tree.
O.o.O.o.O
Stirring, Ryou Bakura opened his eyes, snuggling deeper under the warm blankets. The temperature must have dropped overnight, because the house was much colder then it was before. Then Ryou remembered what day it was. Shooting up in bed, the teen raced out of his room, shouting for Bakura to get up. Laughing, Ryou ran into the living room, thinking that nothing would dampen his mood today…
Until he saw a mound of snow in his living room, having come through the large hole in the ceiling. Underneath the tree was a bare floor; no presents, no bows, nothing but a few ornaments that looked like they had been knocked over last night. Ryou stood there, gaping at the scene, and shivering. Then something clicked.
"No, he wouldn't…not today…" Shaking his head Ryou ran back up the stairs, still calling out his yami's name. Storming into Bakura's room, Ryou stared at an empty bed and an open window.
"BAKURA!"
O.o.O.o.O
"BAKURA!" Said yami winced at the sound of Ryou's VERY ticked off promising certain chocolate abduction voice.
"I think he found out," muttered Marik as another furious voice, this time promising a beating at the hands of sporks rang out through the city.
"MARIK! WHEN I FIND YOU, YOU'RE DEAD! YOU HEAR ME? DEAD!" Marik whimpered.
"Hikawi…I'm sowwy…" Bakura smacked him upside the head.
"Stop with the baby voice! We're yamis, remember? We do not use baby voices!"
"'Kura, don't confuse me again…"
"It doesn't take much to confuse you. And don't call me Kura. Malik can't hear you, so stop talking. And besides, why are you apologizing? We did a good thing, remember? We got rid of snow!" Marik blinked.
"How do you know?"
"Look around my fine blinking reindeer! Do you see white?" Marik looked over the edge of the blimp. Overnight it seemed, the snow from yesterday had turned to grayish slush, wet, mushy, and perfect for shoveling into old people's cars after breaking the windows.
"No. No white."
"Exactly! And do you see the evil flakey stuff from the land of sunshine and bunnies?" Marik shuddered again and looked up. Grayish clouds hid the sun and a few pigeons flew across the sky. Marik sent them to the Shadow Realm with a muttered curse and turned to Bakura, this time smiling.
"No evil flakey stuff! We did it Bakura! We stopped the snow!"
"NO SNOW!" they screamed, dancing around the blimp and singing. "NO SNOW, NO SNOW, NO EVIL SNOW! OH HAPPY DAY!"
"Now to make it permanent!" cried Bakura, running over to the sleigh. "To push this over the side of the blimp!"
"What!" Marik stopped dancing. "B-But the presents-"
"Must be totally eliminated if we are to truly stop Christmas!" yelled Bakura, pushing the Triple S. Sleigh towards the edge of the blimp. "Now help me get it over the railing!" Sighing Marik joined his friend in pushing the sleigh. Grunting, they managed to get it on top of the railing before Marik felt something on his nose.
Something cold, small, and white.
Looking at it cross eyed, Marik's eyes widened as he saw another speck of white fall on his costume. And then another, and another…
Horrified, Bakura and Marik looked up at the sky, where the gray clouds were slowly moving, revealing a golden sun rising over the buildings, turning the blue gray sky into a mixture of dusky pink, molten gold, and sky blue. And the clouds were dropping…
…Snow. It was snowing like there was no tomorrow, coming down harder and faster until all of Domino was covered in it.
It also covered two stunned spirits, who stood gaping on the blimp, shivering. Then Marik screamed.
"IT'S NOT FAIR!" Tearing himself away from the sleigh, Marik ran around the top of the limp, pulling at his hair and screaming and crying. "No, no, no! We stole everything! I was not tied to a sleigh and used as a bird's potty for nothing! NO way in high chocolate heaven was I…The chipmunks! They planned this, the evil fiends! THE CHIPMUNKS!"
Bakura had long ago tuned out Marik's ranting, staring at the sky in numb shock. "It's impossible…" he whispered. "I stole every present in the entire city…I made sure of it! I stole it all, but it came! It came with the cold! It came with the white! It came with the evil fluffy flakes of snow! But how?" Lowering his head, Bakura stared at the rising sun, which bathed him and the entire city in warmth and light.
He stood puzzled and puzzled, till he could puzzle no more. Then Bakura thought of something he hadn't before.
"Maybe Christmas," he mused, "doesn't come from a store…Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more…" Bakura stood there with a goofy smile on his face before snorting. "Yeah right!" Turning, he walked over to Marik, who was now swiping at the snowflakes as they fell, screaming out random vegetables as he did.
"Radish! Lettuce! Squash and beans-"
"Marik!" yelled Bakura, grabbing his arm. "Marik, it's over. The snow is here, it's Christmas. We failed." Marik turned to his friend with watery eyes.
"But the snow…"
"Has won: for now. Now let's get the presents back before our hikaris get out the cheese graters." Marik winced and looked over Bakura's shoulder, his eyes widening.
"Bakura…we don't need to deliver the presents."
"Why's that?"
"Because they're falling over the railing on their own." Bakura whipped around and cried out when he saw the sleigh teetering over the edge of the railing.
"The presents! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Leaping forwards, Bakura grabbed the sleigh's bumper and began to pull. "Don't just stand there, help me!" Shrugging, Marik joined him and pulled with all his might. However, it was a hopeless situation. No matter how hard the two of them pulled, gravity pulled harder. Half of the sleigh was already over the railing, tipping downwards to the presentless city below.
"I give up," moaned Marik as they slid forward another inch.
"No! You can't stop!" screamed Bakura, clawing at the snow in an attempt to find something to hold onto.
"It's pointless…and besides," continued Marik, loosening his grip. Yelping Bakura slid forward another few inches. "It's just toys, right?"
"Wrong!" It was then that Bakura did something drastic. Letting go of the sleigh, he climbed onto the mountain of sacks holding the presents, and began searching through them, uncomfortably aware that he was now slipping more and more since Marik was seconds away from letting go completely. He then found what he was looking for.
"Marik!" Marik looked up to see Bakura standing on the top of the sack mountain, waving a comic in both hands.
"Marik if you drop this sleigh, you're manga will fall out and then old senile people will steal it, thinking it's food, and feed the pages to the pigeons and chipmunks! THE CHIPMUNKS MARIK!" Marik gasped before his eyes narrowed. Grabbing the sleigh tightly, he dug his feet into the ground. Bakura yelled in surprise as Marik lifted the sleigh over his head.
"NO ONE TOUCHES MY MANGA! YOU HEAR ME CHIPMUNKS? NO ONE!"
"…" Bakura stared at him, at a loss for words.
Then Marik threw the sleigh overboard.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'm gonna die! Again!" screamed Bakura as he hurtled towards the ground. Then he saw Marik jump after him. Back flipping in the air, Marik landed in the driver's seat and slammed a fist on the GO button, speeding to the ground at 364 miles per hour. Bakura was now hanging from the bumper screaming his head off.
"I HATE MANGA!"
O.o.O.o.O
In the center of town, Yugi and the others sat, glum and miserable at the presentless Christmas.
"I'll kill them," muttered Ryou. "I'll KILL them both, and I don't care if they're already dead."
"Get in line," growled Malik, sharpening his sporks.
Yami sighed from his place at the fountain. "I can't say I didn't expect it." Yugi sniffed, sitting in Yami's lap with red and puffy eyes.
"C-Christmas is ruined."
"I don't understand…so Santa is really Bakura?" asked Serenity. "But then how does he make all the presents at the North pole if he's here all the time?" Joey sweat dropped.
"Don't worry guys!" chirped Tea. "Christmas isn't about presents, it's about love, togetherness and FRIENDSHIP! Friendship is Christmas, and the best gift of all is-"
"A muzzle for you," muttered Duke. Tea started crying.
"You're a mean friend Duke!"
"Oh woe is me."
"Hey, do you guys hear something?" asked Mai, looking at the sky.
"It sounds like someone screaming." Tristan stood up. "And whatever it is, it's coming right at us!" Screaming, the gang dived into nearby bushes as a large black sleigh crashed into the clock and fell to the ground, spewing smoke from all sides. When it cleared they could see Marik in the front seat, hugging scores of manga with a huge smile on his face, which only lit up when he saw his hikari.
"Merry Christmas Malik!"
"You!" Malik lunged at Marik. "What did you do?"
"Hikari stop! We stole all the presents to stop the evil snow, but then the snow came anyways, so we brought the presents back! Just don't sporkefy me!" Malik stopped in mid-lunge, landing face first into the freshly fallen snow.
"You mean," asked Joey as Malik spit out the cold substance. "That you stole all our presents…to stop the snow from falling?"
"Not just yours, all the presents in the city! Well, Bakura stole them, I just read manga and was nearly blinded by pigeon waste."
"…" The others were silent, staring at Marik in shock. Yami finally shook his head.
"It's amazing. Here I was thinking the two of them couldn't get any dumber."
"Just goes to show you, anything's possible," said Mai. "Hey, if Bakura was with you, where is he now?" As if on cue, Bakura emerged from under the sleigh, covered in soot and snow. The safety pins had fallen out in the plummet, so Bakura's Santa suit was now once again three times larger then Bakura, and the hat had fallen off. Coughing, the thief looked up to see a very angry Ryou and Yami looking down at him. He sighed.
"Go ahead Pharaoh, banish me to the shadows after Ryou's finished hitting me with kitchen utensils. Anything's better then snow." Yami sighed.
"Normally I would do that, after giving you a long winded goody goody rant, which I know you hate." Bakura nodded. Yami smiled and held out his hand. Bakura stared at it and then at Yami, quirking an eyebrow.
"It's Christmas," said Yami with a shrug. Bakura blinked in shock, staring at Yami's hand like it was poison. Finally he grabbed it with a red gloved hand and was hoisted up.
"Thanks."
"Merry Christmas."
"Yeah, yeah, just know this changes nothing. Starting tomorrow, I'm hating you again."
"And starting tomorrow, I will send you to the Shadows." Bakura smirked and turned to Ryou. "You're still going to hit me, aren't you?"
Ryou smiled. "Well, you did bring the presents back. And I suppose you're stupidity is a reasonable excuse." Ryou glanced at Malik. "What do you think Malik? Should we let them off the hook for once?"
Malik shrugged. "It's Christmas," was all he said before Joey cheered and lunged at the presents. Laughing, the others joined him, spending the morning outside, opening and exchanging gifts, playing in the snow (Marik and Bakura played too. Two Words: Snowball fight. Victim: Yami) and drinking hot chocolate using the drink maker Duke had gotten from some great great aunt in Malaysia.
Bakura and Marik, surprisingly, were enjoying themselves, though were still irked by the falling snow.
"Look at it this way," said Bakura as Marik grumbled about wasting the night. "We lost the battle, but the war's still on. See, we only stole the presents in Domino. To stop Christmas, we need to steal all the presents in the world." Marik's eyes widened.
"You mean…we're doing this again next year?"
"Yep!" Marik groaned and was about to reply when an angry voice cut him off.
"ALL RIGHT, WHICH ONE OF YOU DID IT?" Looking up, Marik and the others were surprised to see Seto and Mokuba Kaiba standing in in front of their group, glaring. Well, Seto was glaring, Mokuba was all smiles and was waving to Yugi.
"Did what Kaiba?" asked Yami.
"Don't play dumb. My blimp is missing, along with all of Mokuba's Christmas presents! Now I know one of you did it, and I WILL be suing if there are any damages."
"Suing? Seto you said that you'd pay the person who did it to keep quiet about your Buns of Steel video I got you for Christmas," said Mokuba, sounding oddly happy when he said this. Seto reddened as the gang laughed, Joey falling over and pounding the snow with his fists.
"Kaiba, calm down, the presents are here, safe and sound," said Bakura.
"You stole them?" asked Kaiba, now cherry red at Joey's unceasing laughter and promises of blackmail.
"Yep. Me and Marik. And we know you won't do anything to us. Know why?" Seto shook his head, teeth clenched.
"Because it's Christmas," said Bakura triumphantly. Seto growled.
"Alright then, where's the blimp?"
"Uh…" Bakura looked at Marik, whose eyes widened. "Well, you see-"
"The thing is-"
"Mr. Kaiba!" Turning around, Kaiba and the gang watched Roland ran up to them, out of breath and sounding panicked.
"What?" asked Seto curtly.
"M-Mr. Kaiba, the missing blimp, it's…it's being flown on auto pilot, but with no precise coordinates, it's-it's-"
"It's what? Out with it!" yelled Seto.
"It's-"
BOOM! Whirling around, Seto, Yugi, and the others watched in shock as a figure crashed into Kaiba Corp, causing a loud explosion. When the smoke cleared, pieces of the destroyed blimp were falling to and Kaiba Corporation was in flames.
"It's heading straight for Kaiba Corp sir," squeaked Roland. Seto gaped at his burning business before turning his gaze to Marik and Bakura, who inched backwards. Seto looked murderous, a very scary kind of murderous that put his usual Kaiba glare to pitiful shame.
"It's Christmas Kaiba!" yelled Bakura, backing up as Seto advanced. "It's Christmas!"
Seto responded by grabbing Tristan's mug, smashing it on the sleigh and waving the jagged edges at the two of them.
"It's Chris-RUN MARIK!"
"GET BACK HERE YOU BUISNESS BURNING, BUN STEALING FREAKS!" screeched Kaiba, giving chase. Marik and Bakura screamed and dodged swipes of Kaiba's mug weapon until Bakura tripped on his pants, crashing to the ground. Not even slowing down, Marik seized his friend by the ear and kept running from the crazed elder Kaiba.
"…Gee, think we should help them?" asked Mokuba.
"Of course," said Ryou as more screams were heard.
"…Next Christmas."
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CF101: (cheers) That's it! We're done! And all within less then a month! Well, that's my Christmas present to all my reviewers, this fic. Which I hoped you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing.
Thank you all SO much for all your kind reviews, you all rock. Happy Holidays!
-Computerfreak101