AN: Just a bit of crack fluff for the Holidays – and I'm making up for 'Why Terra's dead' hehe… Yeah – so enjoy…suppose to be read like 'The Night Before Christmas' which I don't own either – darn there is a lot of I don't owns in this story… whatever – read! Oh – uh – my Santa is a bit of a sicko – please don't hunt me down for that – its humor people! Also – not beta'd – but there you go… nothing of mine is… I trust MSWord… keep saying that and it might be true…
Disclaimer – Don't own – don't sue… and please don't press charges on the possession of smack… its purely literary… (stuffs baggy under the desk).
A Titans Christmas Tale – with Smack
By TenshiJaki
T'was the night before Christmas
And all through Jump City
Not a villain was stirring
And the Titans thought it a pity
See they were all bored
Tucked away in their tower
With the only thing to look forward too
Being the midnight hour.
Robin bemoaned Slade's lack of activity,
While Starfire bemoaned Robins inaccessibility.
Cyborg was hanging stocking above the game station,
While Beastboy was hiding from Stars latest creation.
Raven meanwhile was no where to be seen,
She had taken to hiding from this holiday scene.
Suddenly outside her door there was a clatter,
Of a certain green boy and a strange alien matter.
Rolling her eyes with suppressed exasperation,
Raven was able to swiftly send away Stars creation.
Beastboy thanked the dark girl and asked rather quickly,
Begging her to join in all the festivities.
Shaking her head she replied rather coldly,
"I don't do festive, happy or jolly",
Shutting her door on his poor little face,
She returned to her darkness to meditate.
Beastboy was determined however to see,
His brooding friend smile with holiday glee.
Knowing that he would need some super help,
He immediately went to email an elf.
Unknown too many Beastboy had connections,
To a jolly fat man with a cookie obsession.
This fat man had several holiday assistants,
Who were quiet short and rather persistent.
One had wanted all the Titans autographs,
And now Beastboy was calling in the favor fast.
'Christmas emergency – BB' was all he typed,
Though he knew that would get all the little ones hyped.
And you would be hyped too if all you got to eat,
Was a non ending supply of holiday treats.
There were puddings and cookies and all sorts of snacks,
And some suspected even some holiday smack.
None of this mattered however to our friend,
Who could only hope for a successful and pain-free end.
For all knew of Raven's legendary temper,
It's enough to make even grown men whimper.
But faith he had in the jolly fat man,
With his little helpers so ready at hand.
Fore if anyone knew how to accomplish his plan,
It would be this smack dealing jolly fat man.
With a quick correspondence between his little accomplice,
Beastboy felt sure that his plan could not miss.
The little green man, who was not from mars,
Had assured him that his mission indeed would go far.
Beastboy had bought our dear Raven a gift,
However he knew that now it wouldn't fit.
Taking the advice that was so freely given,
He had a plan that would surely leave Raven smitten.
Tossing out the gift card for the pizza store,
He waited by his darkened window for,
The little green man and the gift he would bring,
That would surely win over the cold ice queen.
Meanwhile, within the T shaped tower,
Our other heroes were filled up with the power.
And the power of Christmas is a very scary thing,
Especially when dealing with highly trained teens.
This power is the power that fills up us all,
The night before Christmas when you hear the presents call.
'Open me, just a peek', is what they cry,
Though you know if you do you may surely die.
At the hands of your fellow gifted team members,
Should they find out about your nightly adventure.
And so the Titans called it a night,
Unless they should be awaken to fight,
But the villains had been quiet for perhaps far to long,
So the Titans did not feel they would hear the alarm.
So, T'was the night before Christmas and all through their house,
The only creature that was stirring was a large green mouse.
And this would be Beastboy trying to be stealthy,
Awaiting a little green man with a special pressy. (1)
Suddenly, upon the roof there was a jingle,
And Beastboy could practically feel the tingle,
That went down to his little mousey toes
At the knowledge of what that sound foretold.
Racing up to meet his little friend,
His long 30 minute wait at an end,
He burst through the doors and was met with a sight,
Of a jolly fat rump bared to the night.
It would appear that Santa was rather naughty himself,
And had decided to have a bit of fun with one of the elf's,
Deciding not to dwell on something that would leave him scarred,
Beastboy go into Santa's big red car.
Apparently sleighs were outdated and not very cool,
So Santa had upgraded to 'old school',
He was pimping a macked out olds mobile, (2)
With flashing lights and spinning wheels.
Deciding again that saying nothing was best,
Beastboy found the gift for Raven amongst the rest.
Lifting it out he waved the smacked up child idol off,
And headed back inside to farther plot.
And so the night passed rather quickly,
There were no disturbances other than that sickly
Behavior of Santa's on the roof earlier that night
That surely had all of you running in fright.
The dawns light burst forth over the horizon
And there was a dash to get to the main room.
That was where all of the presents were given,
And Raven cringed because some had pink ribbons.
All of the presents had been passed around,
And now a few of the Titans were on the ground,
Passed out from the post adrenaline rush,
Because all good things end, they must.
Raven and Beastboy were the only ones still up,
And Beastboy felt the strong urge to up-chuck. (3)
Nerves were causing his stomach to flutter,
And his hands felt like he had stuck them in butter.
Rallying his failing courage however,
He was able to present Raven with a letter,
With a raised eyebrow she quickly read,
All that he could only ever say in his head.
"Beastboy…" Raven had started to say,
She was silenced however when he shook his head nay.
He took her hand and led her away from the others,
And produced a blindfold to ensure her eyes covered.
Once he made sure that she was going to follow,
He made a very audible swallow,
He led Raven up, with his hand in hers,
Hoping that he wasn't shedding any fur.
Everyone knew what happened when she was angry or scared,
And he hoped this wouldn't end with him being launched into the air.
Once upon the roof top they had finally arrived,
He removed the blindfold and swallowed his pride.
His hand still firmly encased with her own,
He led her over to a makeshift throne.
Sitting her down upon the seat,
He lowered himself down to her feet.
Looking up at her lovely face,
He took a breath and tried not to hesitate.
"Raven I love you. So don't tell me any lies.
I tired of the excuses you use to try and hide."
"I know that if you just tried you could feel love,
And if it were directed to me it would be an act from above,
But I can not stand this any longer, so please,
Grant me a miracle and go out with me."
Raven stood up, went to the edge and looked down,
She spent several minutes contemplating the town,
Finally when Beastboy was sure that his rushed,
Confession of love would surely be crushed,
Raven turned around and finally faced him
Breaking into a small but noticeable grin.
Her hair playing in a passing breeze,
She hugged her friend who was green as the trees.
"You didn't have too though I understand why you did.
Don't worry however I know that you kid."
And poor Beastboy stood rooted to the floor,
As his friend and love walked to the door.
"Raven wait!" he yelled after her retreating form,
"I wasn't kidding – I do love you", he said looking forlorn.
Raven turned around and shook her head with a sigh,
"You know I can't love you back so then why?"
"Why do you insist on telling that tale?
I know that your heart would not let you fail.
Please just listen and hear me out,
Let me prove it to you." He replied with a shout.
Not giving her a chance to form a reply,
He walked straight up and touched her face with a sigh.
"You are beautiful", his said, his voice very low,
And he leaned forward to see what his gift could sow.
He pressed his lips to hers and felt rather giddy,
Like he had just eaten far to much candy,
And that was exactly what he felt like,
Like she was a drug and he had just spiked.
After far to short of a time,
He pulled away, his eyes held a shine,
And as he looked up he could see with a start,
That the shine was also in hers, oh his heart.
It felt as though it were about to burst,
He couldn't contain all the love, it almost hurt.
"See I told you so" he said rather weakly,
And Raven knocked him upside the head quickly.
"You can't just leave well enough alone."
"Of course not, not till you say you're my own."
"Your own what?", Raven said with a frown,
"My beautiful Princess – eh – minus the gown."
"You're my dark angel, my true love and all,
My hearts deepest longing, I'm yours to call."
"Beastboy please stop – you're making me sick,
If you want my affection then use your brain quick."
"Do I look like the type to won over with mush?
I would much like it much better if you didn't fuss.
I'm not really used to this lovey dovey crap,
So please, I beg you, call it a wrap."
Smiling a smile both charming and bright,
It almost gave our dear Raven a fright.
"There's just one more thing I would like to bestow."
"Alright, as long as it's not mistletoe."
Beastboy laughed and said, "As if you'd say no.
That's not what you did just a minute ago."
All that that got him was a patented glare,
Though she did follow him back to her chair.
"Now I know that you consider yourself dark,
But still somehow you invaded my heart,
And so, with some help, I got this to show,
Exactly to what extent I will go,
To show you what you mean to me,
And know that I will forever be,
Right by your side through any pain,
Or any weather, be it sun or rain."
Raven took the offered box as he stood frozen,
And unwrapped the paper so carefully chosen.
Lifting the lid and taking a look inside,
She could not control the smile she tried to hide.
For within the box that the elf had sent,
Lay something that Raven knew meant,
Every word Beastboy had said was true,
And she had been something of a fool.
There were two stuffed animals within the gift,
One a raven that looked smart and swift,
The other she couldn't name though it was green,
It had many arms, feet, eyes and other things.
She knew that they represented both her and him,
And though she had always taken BB for being dim,
Each one had a heart stitched on its chest,
The colors of each telling the rest.
The Ravens was green while the Things was blue,
And with out a doubt Raven knew,
That the colors meant each heart had a home,
Outside their own bodies, even her own.
And so our story ends with Beastboy mission,
To make Raven beam with joy and be smitten,
A huge success, both teens were quiet happy,
Though the author of this thing cringes, it is quiet sappy.
And all through the land a jolly voice rang out.
Even our happy couple on the roof heard the shout.
"Happy Holidays to all and to all a good night,
Hey, do any of you little guys have a light?" (4)
The End.
(1) Pressy – uh – I had to get it to fit – sorry – short for present if you didn't figure it out.
(2) I don't own old's mobiles – is that even how you spell that? Eh – whatever – you know what I'm talking about.
(3) ew – sorry… but you got to admit it fit… hehe
(4) I'm going to hell for that… hehehe
AN pt2: omfg – this thing turned into a monster! It wasn't suppose to be this long – just a little thing full of holiday fluff and blah – and then it grew – and grew – and grew some more! And before you ask – yes I did watch the Danny Phantom holiday special – eh – I suppose this was kinda inspired by it… oh well – it was funny. I also watched the Zim one (starts singing 'bow down, bow down – before the power of Santa – or be crushed, be crushed – by his jolly boots of doom!' BWAHAHAHAHA)
SANTA NOTE: Yes – my Santa is a perverted, smack dealing, jolly fat man – but really – I don't trust an old guy who only works with people that, at most, come up to his crotch and deals in toys. Plus what kind of man names an animal 'Vixen'? huh? I'm sooo getting coal this year – sigh.
This thing was actually really hard to write – it wasn't at first – everything just came together – but towards the middle I had to make a list of words that rhymed – so if something doesn't fit – sorry.
I completely was going to put in some Star/Rob action – but this thing ended up so long anyways – maybe I will do a Star/Rob piece for new years… what do you think? Yeah – then I can hook up Cy with the game station… hehe – sorry.