The Uncanny R-Man: Actually that bit with Spike in the wheelchair is what inspired me to do that with Shaw. He's like Spike and Sinister is like Angelus. Yep, X23 will show up later on and yep, some Logan/Ororo and a few others up next. Glad you liked the rest of it too.
Silver Warrior: Yep Vince's past in this shares the same connection in the AGU he had with Sinister. I hope to make Jean and Rogue closer friends.
Jenskott: Yeah I was, I was trying to give a sense that Sinister is a very nasty and dangerous man. They'll be a lot better before the trouble starts again.
simba317: What can I say when I make a villain I go all out, I want you to hate these guys. I think I know what you meant about Remy and Sinister but that's isn't overdone in fact name three fics that dealt with that. Rolo will be in this chapter and I think the next. No Brotherhood or Acolytes in this fic. There's too much as it is. Yeah, Rogue and Remy will get together, but I hate those fics where they just fall in love too easily that's not how their relationship works.
Mark C: Yep those four are going to cause much trouble, and Rogue and Jean will be better friends in this. Glad you liked the double date.
Sparky Genocide: I wanted Jean and Rogue on better terms with each other in this. No plans on any Brotherhood/Acolytes showing up.
Jade: Yeah Sinister and Selene had a past together at one point.
GothikStrawberry: Yeah Sinister is creepy isn't he? You'll see what Selene has planned later but no Madelyn Prior in this fic. Glad you liked the Wanda/Kurt fluff and the Jean/Rogue scene.
Aaron: Actually Sinister was a member of the London house in the comics at one time. Yeah I wanted Jean and Rogue to be more friendly to each other now.
Chica De Los Ojos Café: Thanks, I'm glad you're really enjoying this story.
Thanks to: X00001, Kemious the kitsugriff
Hellfire and Brimstone CHAPTER 29: BOTTLED UP EMOTIONS
-A Week Later-
Xavier was in his office which was now doubling as a counselling room. He had been trying to help them all deal with what they had gone through, but it wasn't easy and he knew it wouldn't be. Emma for instance was closed off the most compared to everyone…Then again he was still a stranger to her, but he did notice how she and Vincent always sat together and held each other's hand. It was good to see that they both took comfort in each other. Rogue always sat next to Kurt, one of the very few people that she allowed to touch her without getting jumpy or pulling away.
He recalled seeing how she felt more comfortable with the girls and Jamie too, mainly due to him only being fourteen and being so innocent. Even though she still covered up, he was glad to see she no longer wore her gloves. He had seen her always touching other objects, like running her hand over railings, tables, and such. Sometime she didn't even know she had been doing it.
Kurt was doing better, but he didn't smile as often as he used to. In fact, he was much more sombre and serious at times, but Xavier did notice that he was slowly allowing himself to enjoy life again. He suspected that this might have to do with him and Wanda exploring a possible relationship. He had seen them holding hands walking across the grounds lately and Kurt looked almost like his old self. But he saw the loss of innocence in his eyes and knew that Kurt would never get that back.
Jean was coping thanks to Scott. Their bond was helping her by drawing on all his love and comfort from him whenever she needed it which something that no one else had and it was working well. She and Rogue also seemed to have grown a bit closer. There had always been a kind of tension between the two, but now were brought together from their ordeal.
Vincent, however, was the hardest to read next to Emma. He kept his mind guarded at all times and his mental shields were impressive for a non-telepath. He even had a poker face on par with Logan at times, often making him seemed older then he was. After hearing about all the experiments that had been done on him and seeing his own mother killed before his eyes when they came for him, and after everything else, he was amaze the boy was still sane. Although he could tell it had to be a constant battle within the depths of his mind.
They all looked a bit tired as well, most likely from another restless night. They had told him how some nights they just couldn't sleep and they all ended up in the kitchen for their late night get-togethers. In fact, Logan had told him about finding Emma and Vince on the couch with Rogue in a chair and Kurt sitting at her feet all asleep. Jean usually snuck back into bed with Scott when she got too tired since she slept better next to him with his arm around her or her hugging him against her.
At the moment Jean was sitting in a chair alone since sometimes she needed to do this alone without Scott. Besides, she didn't want him to hear the details…That she wanted to spare him that much. "I think one of the worst things that happened besides him manipulating me to think that he had been Scott was how he twisted me around," she said with her legs pulled up to her chest.
"I mean, he turned me into this Red Queen of his and…And the things I thought…And did."
She looked over at Vince and even though she knew he had forgiven her, it still hurt her how she had hurt him and had stripped away his mental defences. She had come close to actually mentally raping him by stripping his thoughts away. She had actually wanted to and if Wyngarde-no, Mastermind, she corrected herself…If he hadn't stopped her, she would have gone through with it.
"I mean…I tried to kill Scott…I wanted to kill him…I just…" Jean's eyes started to tear up as the thought of killing the love of her life…The thought was just too horrible to bear. She had a couple of nightmares about it…Her standing over Scott's dead body back in her Red Queen outfit.
Xavier wheeled himself over to her and padded her hand, "It's alright Jean…You stopped yourself. You over came everything they did to your mind because deep inside you couldn't harm him." His words did comfort her a little but it still haunted her.
Rogue listened to this and remembered her own time as the Green Knight. "Ah know how ya feel Jean…I tried ta kill both Gambit and Kurt…I would have too," she said in a quiet tone. She remembered nearly killing them and how she had been enjoying it. God, Kurt was the only real family she ever had in this life and she nearly killed them. If she had killed Kurt, there would have been no way she could have lived with herself.
"At least you girls had no choice. I willingly worked for that bastard," Emma snorted out, "I mean, I thought he was this great guy at one point…Biggest mistake of my life. When I saw that he was just using me like everyone else had in my life, I ran out on them…Of course I was caught and well…I had a few days to 'play' with that bitch Selene." The coldness of her voice was evident as her face was a mask of neutrality. She hated those memories because she had felt so weak and helpless and she despised that the worse.
"I hated the feeling of being so weak the worst," Vincent said his eyes a bit unfocused, "The last time I was treated so badly was back when I was a child…I swore to myself when I got out of there and my powers were showing I would never be weak again…That I would never let anyone make me weak again…Guess that didn't happen…Plus I wish to God I could forget that."
"Same here," Kurt said softly.
Vince gave out an angered exhalation of breath, "No offense Kurt, but at least with you, you can slowly have your memories fade and you only had a small amount of time with that woman…I spent over two weeks! Do you know the things she did to me? I can describe in morbid detail what it feels like to have a scalpel cut into your flesh and then to have salt repeatedly pressed into it."
"Vincent calm yourself!" Xavier said, he was worried since the young man had rarely ever blown up like that.
Vince looked down and rubbed his face, "Sorry Kurt, I know what you did hurt you it's just…God I just want to forget…I just want to go one day without constantly trying to bury those images in my mind…I'm just so tired…" Emma placed a hand on his shoulder, sensing how emotionally draining it was for him to keep those memories buried in his mind.
Xavier felt sorry for the young dark haired man. With a photographic memory he had to deal with the memories that were as fresh in his mind as if they just happened. He had hoped that he would be able to deal with it, especially since his growing relationship with Emma seemed to give him strength, it seemed some days he was struggling.
"You know…I…I could wipe your memories of those events…" Emma told him softly and everyone looked at her surprised that she would suggest that.
"Emma, have you ever tried wiping a mind before?" Xavier asked her seriously since this was something that no telepath should attempt unless they had to. Emma had to admit the best she ever done was wipe an hour. She had never done something more then that before. "You have to understand that you not only have to wipe the memory, but all the times a person thought about it. Normally I think you have the power and concentration to do it, but with Vincent's mind being the way it is, then it would be much harder since the memories are more powerful and deeply entrenched into his mind."
"Professor…Could you do it?" Kurt asked him, "Like vhen you viped the minds of all zhose people at zhe school?" He was referring to when the Brotherhood had tried to expose mutants to the world at the school of course.
"Yeah ah mean…Sure ah don't remember the pain of Selene wiping meh, but I do remember what she did…And the first few rapes since the rest sort of blurred together at the end…But ah…Ah don't want to remember it as well as ah do…Can't ya just ah don't know…Blur the memories?" Rogue asked him hopefully.
Xavier sighed. He had hoped none of them would try to ask for this since it was only something he did as a last resort. "I think you all should take a break and think on this. It won't change what happened to you all and I'm not sure how you would deal with knowing what happened, but can't recall it. So please think on it and let's see how you feel at our next session."
He let them to go and when he was alone he hung his head. He knew this wasn't going to be easy and he suspected a few of them would ask to have those events altered, either blurred like Rogue asked or completely wiped. He moved to his desk and wondered what he would do. He hated to wipe memories because sometimes he saw what those memories were and sometimes memories had a way of resurfacing and what then? They might end up right back where they started.
Then there was something else. He saw the book on his desk that Slayer had left behind. He had been reading it, but it was slow since he had to translate it since it was very old and written in Latin. Thankfully, when he was still a boy they still taught that, but he was a bit rusty. It spoke of prophecies and of great dangers that could engulf the world in hellfire.
It spoke of a gateway to Hell that could be opened and even had been a few times, but was always closed when chosen warriors went to do battle. It also spoke of a sacrifice to open the gates and another to close it. He was still researching it, but the more he read it the more he grew more nervous. He knew that the supernatural existed. His own step brother Cain had used mysticism to give himself the power of Juggernaut.
But what really caught his attention were references to The Dark King and The Dark Queen of Hell in one of the prophecies. He was reminded of Shaw and Selene, the Black King and Queen of the Hellfire Club. The fact that they had just dealt with them and how close the titles…He felt a chill in his bones and tried to find any more links to certain prophesies that could be anything in their lives.
-Ororo's Garden-
As always around the late morning hours of the day, Ororo Munroe was in her garden tending to her many plants. Using her powers, she induced a gentle rain that fed and nurtured the elaborate layout of plants and flowers. Her garden had always been her sanctuary. Ever since her arrival at the institute, it had been a place for her to unwind and collect her thoughts and today was no exception.
While many of the others were doing a lot better than they were after the Hellfire incident, Ororo was remained in a state of uncertainty and confusion. Scott and Jean had settled in their new room together rather nicely and Ororo had never seen them happier, Warren and Betsy were adjusting well to the overall atmosphere of the institute and seemed to really enjoy the exciting new world they were a part of, Kurt had become somewhat more like his old self after he and Wanda began exploring a new relationship together and Kitty and Piotr seemed the same, Vincent and Emma were slowly but surely adjusting to their new lives and were growing quite close, Rogue was doing a lot better now that she was out of the infirmary and going about the institute as she used to only now she could touch, and she seemed to also be growing rather fond of Remy as well even though she still found some of his actions towards her to be a little annoying…Although she seemed to enjoy some of them more than she was willing to admit. Xavier was working wonders helping them all deal with the trauma they had been through thanks to his experience in dealing with victims of wars many years ago, but he had also been rather preoccupied with the strange new book that Slayer had given him…However, nobody really said anything about it, for there was still so much to learn. Then, there was Logan.
Ororo had been thinking a lot about that kiss with him over the past week. In fact, she had even lost sleep over it. She and Logan had been avoiding each other ever since it happened and they hadn't even so much as looked one another in the eye since then, but this didn't make things any better. For her, it only made things more confusing as she still tried to decipher the meaning of that one moment that hung so vividly in her mind. She remembered every possible detail of it from the burly scent he gave off to the soft feel of his facial hair against her skin. But no matter how many times she went over it in her head, it didn't make it any clearer to her.
The longer this confusion went on, the more worried Ororo became. She actually was getting a little scared at this point. She had nearly ruined her friendship with Logan once before after she looked at his personal file in hopes of helping him deal with the memories of Yuriko and she had just gotten back…Then she kissed him and now it seemed as though she was back where she started. The ordeal with the Hellfire Club had only made her realize just how much Logan's friendship meant to her…And it was truly more than she ever could have imagined. But despite this, she had once again put it in jeopardy and she had only herself to blame for that. She kissed him…And as much turmoil it had caused her…Part of her would have done it again in a heartbeat.
As the former weather goddess continued to tend to her plants, Sage walked entered the greenhouse to see her friend meditating with her favorite hobby as she had done since the days when she was still at the institute.
"I thought I might find you here," said Sage, causing Ororo to turn around and face her friend, "You still keep the same routine even after all these years."
"Yes, well we all have our hobbies," smiled Ororo, glad to have a little company to get her mind off of her constant musings.
"Indeed, this place sure has grown since I was last here," said Sage as she looked around in wonder at all the plants Ororo had collected over the years she had been away, "I remember back when you were able to fit your entire garden on a single table. Now it's as if you've taken a chunk of the local botanical garden and stuck it right here in at the institute."
"I guess certain things tend to grow larger than you expect over time," said Ororo as she calmed the winds around her while Sage took a look at some of the more exotic plants that she had in her collection.
"Well…I suppose you would know," said Sage with a smile, knowing that her words probably could pertain to more than just gardening.
Ororo didn't get the subtle tone in her words, but shook it off as she so often did. She had enough things on her mind at the moment anyways.
"So what brings you up here my friend?" asked Ororo as Sage took a whiff of a some of the many flowers present, "Has your first week back been okay?"
"Oh, it's been great," said Sage as she turned back towards Ororo, "Everybody has been so nice to me since I got back…Well, Emma is still a little bitter around me, but I don't blame her for that."
"Just give her time," assured Ororo, knowing full well why Emma would probably harbor a little resentment against her, "I'm sure she'll come around."
"Me too," said Sage, "I don't want her to hold a grudge forever. I feel bad enough about what happened to her and the others as it is."
"But always remember, it's because of you we were able to save them," reminded Ororo as she saw Sage's expression fall somewhat upon remembering what she had allowed to happen while undercover at the Hellfire Club, "Besides…Emma's been more preoccupied with Vincent lately anyways."
"No kidding," said Sage with a slight laugh, "Which, by the way, kind of brings me to why I'm here."
"What do you mean?" asked Ororo.
"I mean the way you've been acting lately," said Sage as she shifted the tone of her voice to one of more concern.
The look on Ororo's face was a dead giveaway to Sage, who had a knack for perception. Ororo had a sinking feeling as to what her friend was talking about and she had been avoiding such confrontation all week, but she knew Sage and she knew that when she became adamant about something, she wouldn't let it go.
"Ororo…You've been walking around the institute with a constant thousand-mile stare on your face over the past week. You've been zoning out left and right, you don't seem to be getting enough sleep, and you've made it pretty clear that something's bothering you."
"It's…Nothing really," said Ororo, wishing that she would drop this, but knew Sage well enough to know that she would do no such thing.
"Ororo…Don't insult me," said Sage with an amused look, "Bear in mind that I know you and I can tell when you're struggling with something. And I just want to know what it is. Besides, maybe I can help."
Ororo just let out a sigh as she turned away from her friend, focusing back on her plants as she so often did when she was stressed.
"Not with this Sage…It's something I have to deal with on my own," she said, not wanting to get anybody else involved in her personal struggles.
Sage just shook her head, astonished that Ororo would be this stubborn about an issue. Maybe it was more serious than she thought.
"This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with a certain burly Canadian now would it?" asked Sage in a somewhat lighter tone, hoping to loosen the mood.
Ororo turned back to face her with a serious look on her face, then quickly looked away…Which pretty much gave it away right then and there for Sage.
"Please Sage…I really don't want to talk about this right now," urged Ororo, wanting to deal with this on her own time.
"Oh come on!" exclaimed Sage in response, "Ororo…This is getting out of hand for you and I'm seriously worried! You've never been hung up about something like this before. Besides, I thought you two patched things up?"
"We did…But I think I may have ruined it again," said Ororo, finding herself unable to avoid the truth.
"Ruined it again?" said Sage, looking bewildered, "How?"
Ororo paused for a moment, wondering if she should tell her what had happened. Sage was a friend, but she didn't feel all that comfortable going over this most confusing of situations yet again. Never the less, the more she bottled it up, the more anxious about it she became. Part of her just couldn't take it anymore. She wished she could resolve this or somehow undo that fateful kiss no matter how much she treasured it. Never the less, she remained stuck exactly where she had started and found herself sigh in admittance.
"I kissed him…" she said simply.
Sage looked back at her wide eyed as she took in those three words.
"You kissed him?" she repeated, "You kissed Logan?"
Storm simply nodded in response. Then, to her surprise, Sage actually smiled and rejoiced at this information and for a brief moment, looked almost as giddy as Kitty would have if she were in the same situation.
"Oh my God! Is that it?" she exclaimed, causing Ororo to simply look back at her with a bewildered expression.
"What do mean 'is that it?'" said Ororo in response, thinking that she wasn't taking this seriously, "Sage…I kissed Logan! And I don't just mean kissed…I mean really kissed."
"Was it good?"
"Sage!" exclaimed Ororo, not finding that funny, "Be serious about this! I kissed Logan! We just mended our friendship after coming so close to losing it…And then I up and kiss him!"
"So…" said Sage, thinking Ororo was seriously not looking at this from the right point of view, "Which part of that is supposed to be a bad thing?"
"Don't you see Sage?" exclaimed the former weather goddess, trying to keep herself from growing hysterical over her friend's take on this very confusing situation for her, "I could have just ruined it again! I could have…"
"Ororo…Stop for a second," said Sage, not wanting her to go any further, "Just stop for one moment and listen to yourself."
Ororo managed to calm down as she looked back at her friend, whose look grew more serious.
"Just answer me this…Do you know why you kissed him?"
"No…I don't," answered Ororo in a deep, troubled voice, "I guess that's why I've been so out of it lately. I just…I kissed my best friend…And I don't know why."
"I don't believe that…" said Sage as she looked back at Ororo with a sympathetic look.
"What do you mean?"
"Ororo…I've seen the way you and Logan act around each other…Don't think for a minute that I haven't," said Sage, speaking from everything she had witnessed between those two since her arrival, "You two stare at each other when no one's looking, you both have been a bit reclusive lately, and you both just seem so troubled. Face it Ororo…It's as clear as night and day. You're attracted to him…And I can say with nearly an absolute certainty that he's attracted to you too."
Sage watched as Ororo's face began to flush a reddish color that she tried to hide, but knew it only confirmed her suspicions. Ororo didn't want to believe it…She didn't want to admit that she was having these feelings for her best friend. But when Sage said it out loud like that…She couldn't deny it.
"Sage I just…" she stammered feeling at a loss for words, "I don't know…I really don't know."
"Hey, come on now Ro," said Sage sympathetically, "Don't look at it as a bad thing…"
"How can I not?" sighed Ororo as she began to feel the strain of this dilemma, "Logan and I have been friends for years…And after having come so close to losing that, I've only now realized just how much it means to me. And I guess…I just don't want to risk destroying what we have."
"But what if you could make what you have with him now grow into something so much more?" asked Sage.
Ororo looked back at her friend with a non-believing look in her eye, but Sage didn't let that dissuade her.
"I'm serious…I think there really may be something special there for the both of you. I mean…I see the way he looks at you and the way you look at him."
Ororo thought about that and actually wondered what it would be like to pursue something deeper with Logan. He was different in so many ways in a sense that he had an animal/human side to him…But that was part of what she found so attractive. He was a man who knew how to be wild and free, yet had this strong sense of personal honor that drove him to protect the people he cared about. He was like one of the great warriors she always heard stories about back in Africa and there was just so much about him that seemed both mysterious and alluring. She already knew him better than probably anybody else at the institute…But did that mean they could really have a relationship? Did that mean that something truly meaningful could grow between them?
"But…What should I do?" asked Ororo, finding herself at a true crossroad.
"Talk to him," said Sage vehemently, "Just sit down with him and talk about this. Get it out in the open…Let him know that the kiss actually meant something. I know it sounds hard…But I really don't want to see you like this. And I think that if you just stopped lying to yourself and admit it…Then maybe you'll both be pleasantly surprised at what might develop."
Ororo considered her friend's advice. While it made her feel nervous just thinking about talking to Logan about this, a part of her truly wanted to give it a try. She knew how her friends and family had often expressed concern about her being almost thirty and still single and she was most certainly not getting any younger. And she just couldn't help but ask herself…What if they could really have something?
"You're right…" said Ororo finally, "I should talk to him. But I just don't know if…"
Ororo found herself trailing off as she thought about what could happen if she decided to take her friendship with Logan to another level.
"Try not to think too much on the negative," said Sage as she turned towards the door, "Just…Let whatever happens happen. Besides, I think you owe it to yourself and to Logan."
Sage knew she would probably need some time to think about this, so she decided to make her leave. She truly hoped that Ororo would find something in Logan because it tore her up to see her friend look so alone at times. With so many couples around the institute, she knew she had to feel disheartened somewhat by it. She may not have known Logan all that well, but she was pretty sure by the way he acted around her that he felt the same way. Both he and Ororo were definitely in a state of confusion with one another and she knew only they could resolve it. Sage was still somewhat worried about her friend and her predicament, but she knew it was best to leave it up to her for now. Besides…She had a little repair session in the danger room planned with Beast that she was definitely looking forward to.
-Amara & Tabitha's Room-
Amara was on her bed just staring up at the ceiling. She had been doing that a lot lately, mainly because…She was confused…Really confused to be blunt. She had been thinking certain thoughts about Sam AKA Cannonball. He was so kind and sweet and gentle, a true gentleman and whenever she was close to him her heart skipped a beat. But that wasn't the problem…The problem was Tabitha.
Tabitha, who at that moment was in her underwear changing, knew that Tabitha was trying to get on clothes that would attract Sam and that she also had a thing for the blonde southern boy. But the fact that Tabitha, her best female friend was also interested in Sam, the best male friend Amara had. It was the fact at this moment that as Tabitha was changing Amara could help but steal glances at her, marvelling at her long legs, her flat stomach, and her perky breasts covered in a red bra.
She tore her look away and back to the ceiling. There was a secret she had never told anyone…She was bi. In Nova Roma, is was more common place and so was homosexuality. She had friends (mainly the children of senators because of her status as Princess, she wasn't allowed to consort with the lower classes) who also had been straight, gay or bi. The taboo of those two sexual preferences wasn't existent in her land, but she soon found out about how it was looked at here.
She was already a 'freak' to many non-mutant humans, but she also didn't want to be considered one by her best friends. It was so hard and she felt like she wanted to scream out her frustrations. She and Tabitha had always been close, but it was that day of that cruise when they were on that island that she started to feel more for Tabitha then just friendship. But at the same time she had growing feelings towards Sam also.
If she tried to tell her feelings towards one of them she could ruin one friendship or both. If she and Sam got together then how would that make Tabitha feel? Amara knew how she felt about him and if she told Tabitha she was deathly afraid, she would be freaked out and would not only want to be moved into a new room, but wouldn't be comfortable around her anymore.
Amara just felt like crying at how hard this was on her, but she never showed it…She couldn't. She couldn't go to anyone with this. Ororo maybe, but she had seemed preoccupied. Rahne was only fifteen and not in a relationship, her best friend was part of the problem, and there was no way she was going to the adults…There were the older woman like Jean and Rogue, but they had their own problems, Wanda she didn't know that well, and Emma and Betsy were practically strangers.
She needed to find a way out of this. She had hoped that these crushes would go away, but they weren't. In fact, they were getting worse and because she didn't act on them she was getting certain dreams. Some were with her and Sam, others with her and Tabitha, and then the last ones with all three of them…She wished she could talk to her mother about this or her father or SOMEONE from Nova Roma who could sympathize with her…But she had no one.
It was getting too hard on her and she felt like she wanted to explode and all these feelings would just explode out of her without warning. She prayed to the gods for help, hoping one of them would answer her prayers for guidance. She prayed to Minerva the goddess of wisdom to help her, and also to Venus the goddess of love and her son cupid the most. But so far the prayers to her gods did her no good and went unanswered.
Tabitha had finally dressed and had gone off to find Sam, leaving Amara all alone with her thoughts and her problems. Amara didn't know what to do anymore. Being alone like this just made her think on it more since there was nothing to distract her from her problems. So just curled up on her bed onto her side and just tried to stop herself from crying. She didn't want to feel this way…So why couldn't she just have feelings for one person? Why did life have to be so complicated? She wished she knew.
-Danger Room-
Logan wiped the sweat off of his face as he exited the danger room from another exhaustive solo session. For the past week, Logan had found himself spending more time in the danger room than usual. He found a certain level of comfort in it because it helped him focus on something other than his many problems. If it wasn't his past, it was always something else like Yuriko, new students, and his lingering troubles with Ororo.
It seemed like he just couldn't catch a break lately. First it was the sudden relapses of memories about Yuriko that had been troubling him, now it was this whole incident dealing with the kiss. He didn't know why he did it, if it had been him or Ororo that initiated it, or what it even meant, but what he did know is that he had many mixed feeling about it. Ororo was a friend…A friend who he had just made amends with. But now he couldn't even be in the same room with her without getting anxious. He also noticed a change in her demeanor as well as his and he blamed himself for that. It seemed that no matter what he did, the closer he got to someone, the more he hurt them. And he most certainly did not want that to happen to Ororo, for she of all people didn't deserve the bad luck he so often brought. Yuriko was still on his mind and the now clear memories of how he had hurt her to the point where she was actually willing to undergo a painful adamantium bonding process to get revenge didn't sit well with him.
In many ways he was afraid. He could go up against Apocalypse or the Hellfire Club, yet even he could be reduced to a state of fear and uncertainty simply by what was happening between him and Ororo. For that reason, he found himself venting much of his frustration with the situation in the danger room.
"At it again I see…" said Beast as Logan passed him on the way to the locker room.
"Hey Hank," said Logan in more gruff voice than usual.
"This is starting to become a habit Logan," said Hank as he saw the disgruntled look on his friend's face, "I've seen you go on danger room destruction sprees before, but this one is definitely one of your most prolific."
"Yeah, well…It helps me relax," grunted Logan in response.
"Well you must certainly don't look too relaxed," said Beast in a joking tone, "In fact, you've been downright grouchy all week. Anything wrong?"
Logan growled at Beast's perceptions, for it meant that he was letting it show when he wanted to just lock it all away like he did so many other things in his complicated life. But such actions only affirmed what Beast had suspected.
"This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with our resident weather goddess now would it?" said the Beast with a half smile.
Logan instantly turned back and shot him an aggravated look.
"What are you talking about!" he said, sounding more harsh than usual, "Who said this had anything to do with Ororo!"
"Easy, easy Logan," said Beast as he held his hands up in defense, "I meant you no malice. It's just that Ororo has been acting rather reserved lately as well and I'm just a little worried about the both of you. I know you two had some 'complications' during the whole Hellfire incident, but I thought you both resolved them."
"And just who told you that?" inquired Logan, hoping one of the students wasn't spreading gossip around the institute, otherwise there would be five am danger room sessions to go around for everybody.
"Actually…I kind of noticed it on my own lately," replied Beast, much to Logan's relief, "Now I'm not one to pry, but if something is going on between you and Ororo then…"
"Nothing's going on!" shouted Logan in response with a furious look in his eye that caused Hank to stop in mid sentence.
Logan felt the control over his emotions simmer with instability and was forced to take deep breaths in order to put his head in order once again. He tried setting aside the feelings of the kiss that he could still taste because of Ororo's strong scent, but he found it more difficult with each passing attempt. However, despite this, he managed to calm himself down as his friend looked back at his befuddled state.
"I'm sorry Hank," said Logan as he took a few more deep breaths to collect his thoughts, "I've just been a little…Tense lately."
"Well I wouldn't argue with that," said Beast, glad to see that he was calming down, but he still remained curious as to why he had reacted so strongly at the mere mention of Ororo, "I didn't mean to hit on a touchy subject, but just know that I've been concerned."
"Well ya don't have to be," assured Logan unconvincingly, "Nothing's wrong…I've just been stressed."
Not wanting to provoke him again, Beast chose not to say anything else. It hadn't taken much to set him off and now he was beginning to believe that some of the things Sage had told him about Ororo and Logan seemed vindicated. During one of their many long and engaging conversations, she had expressed concern over Ororo and Logan's behavior and even confided in her belief that maybe their friendship was getting a bit more serious. While this did intrigue him, he couldn't say that it surprised him all that much because he had somewhat suspected that Ororo and Logan closer than most people thought because of how long they had known each other…And it was even more so lately since he saw their change in behavior as well.
As much as Hank wanted to find out more, he decided that Logan was not in the mood to talk. And right now, it seemed as though it would be best if he worked through this himself.
"Just take it easy my friend," said Hank as he saw the restless look in Logan's eyes, "Don't strain yourself too much with these rage induced sessions of yours."
"You let me worry about that for now bub," said Logan, not making it sound a big deal, "Just worry about fixin' that thing every time I feel the need to tear it apart."
"That's not a problem Logan," assured Beast in a friendly tone, "Ever since Sage arrived, fixing the danger room has become far less a chore and more of an activity."
Logan raised an eyebrow at his blue friend as he heard the shift in his voice upon mentioning Sage and nearly cracked a smile as he thought of it.
"Hmm…Would that explain why you've been spending more time in there and taking longer than usual?" asked Logan.
"What can I say?" he shrugged, "Working with her sometimes gets a little…Distracting at times. Sometimes we start talking and we just forget what's going on."
"Right…" said Logan as he shook his head at his friend's apparent overexcitement concerning him working with Sage, "Just one little piece of advice from one man to another Hank…When you talk to her, just be sure to stare at her face. You're a smart guy…But you're still a guy. Later bub…"
Hank McCoy may not have been as reserved as Logan, but he was someone who most certainly valued his privacy. As glad as he was to spend time with Sage, there were still other things about his time with her that he was not yet ready to discuss at this point. He had only just met her and while she did somewhat flirt with him, neither of them let things get too complicated. However, he did have to admit that he could somewhat understand why Logan would be reserved on the issues of women.
As Hank McCoy walked off back towards the danger room where Sage would eventually meet up with him to help fix it, his thoughts drifted back towards Logan's little bit of advice, 'My friend…Even the mighty titans of Greek Mythology wouldn't have the strength to do that.'
-Vincent's Room-
Vincent had just finished showering and was changing clothing. He had changed into his Karate gi and had done about an hour of Marital Arts training. He was about to put on a new shirt on, but stopped to stare at his body in the mirror. Now after years of training and maybe his mutation he had a nice body, in fact he was ripped, but that wasn't what he was looking at…It was all the scars on his body. There was the cut on his right ribs and the burn 'twin' on the other side. That other one had been a 'gift' from Selene like a few of the other ones. There were small cigarette burns from one day on his arm as well as a few cuts here and there.
His back was worse and he was lucky he couldn't see them, but he was sensitive about them. Just like the one on his face, it was an ever constant reminder of the pain he went through. He felt them…The memories trying to surface and he sat down on his bed holding his head in his hands trying to force the memories away. He was so tired of this. He was losing sleep and his mind just felt so tired with the near constant battle of suppressing those memories. He was seriously considering have those memories wiped or dulled down at the very least. He knew what happened to him, but did that mean he had to relieve those horrors over and over again?
Then, there was a welcomed knock on is door, hoping that this would give him a distraction from his memories. He quickly pulled on his shirt and opened it up. He smiled seeing Emma there in all her glory. For the past week the two of them had slowly started on a relationship, mainly a few dates, but it was nice. They also had talks that went on forever at times. She really challenged him mentally, since he could memorize entire books within minutes he knew a lot. He tried not to show it, but Emma seemed to like to know just how deep his knowledge went and they even debated on a few issues.
It was nice and he figured she liked having someone that challenged her intellect as well. Vincent moved aside and let her in. "What's up?"
She just walked over to his bed and sat down and padded next to her. He was curious as to what was going on in that head of hers so he closed the door and sat down next to her. "Emma?"
She just smiled at him for a moment before she spoke, "Vincent…I just want you to know that you've treated me better then anyone ever has. You've shown me respect and kindness on a level no one ever has before and…Well…I enjoy our time together, but there's something I've been thinking about too."
"Really? What?" He asked her. Then, the next thing he knew she was kissing him and not like that first one or the few others they had shared…Now, she threw her arms around his neck and was kissing him with a passion. Then, he soon found himself on his back on the bed with her one top and she started to place her tongue in his mouth. He returned to favour with just as much passion. Her hands were exploring his chest while he drew his hands that had been on her hips and manuvered them over her back.
She felt great…Her skin was so soft and he could smell the perfume in her hair and her lips tasted like strawberries. She was so beautiful and god she felt so good against him. Then she started to nibble on his ear lobe and she was starting to rub up against him. He couldn't help, but give out a small moan as she did both of them. She looked him in the eye and smiled at him.
"You know because you've been so nice to me…I think I'll reward you" She sat up as Vincent became aware that she was straddling him at the moment as she had her hands slowly move over his chest. She also started to grind her hips into his groin a bit and he was torn between pleasure and just what the hell was this leading to. Then to his astonishment she pulled off her top and he saw her large perfect breasts held by a white lace bra.
"Emma…What?"
"Shhhh," Emma cooed to him, "Just relax and let me make you feel great." She leaned down and started to kiss him some more.
"Emma…Stop…We…I can't do this," Vincent said to her and pushed her up. She looked at him like he was crazy and to be honest there was a part of his mind that was screaming at him that he was an idiot.
"What? You don't want me? You're actually turning down sex…With me!" Emma couldn't understand this. She could sense his lust and could feel his arousal through his pants, so he was definitely interested. All her life no one had passed up the chance for sex with her and this…This was just a first.
"Emma I do, believe me I do. Hell, I'm attracted to you and you're the most beautiful woman I've ever known and God Almighty I'm tempted…But this isn't right Emma. I…I care about you and I want our first time together to mean more then just a 'reward' for treating you like people should." He then reached up and caressed her cheek lovingly, "Emma…I do want you, but I want it to be for the right reasons…Because we're both ready to take our relationship to another level and to have a deeper meaning."
Emma felt tears in her eyes, but not from the rejection…She was surprised to find she was glad that he did. He was the perfect man, caring, loving and wanted her then more then just her body. "Vincent…I'm…I'm sorry I just…"
He sat up and just held her, "I know…Emma you're a wonderful woman and I want us to be more then just friends, or friends with benefits…I want us to be a couple." Emma blinked back tears and just held him there. She felt so dirty and ashamed. All her life her looks had gotten her things. During her time at the Hellfire club she used her sexually to her advantage and now she had fallen back into old habits.
She took his face in her hands and looked into those light blue eyes and smiled and she kissed him deeply and pulled back, "Thank you…For being you and I think I need to think on things." She stood up to leave and pulled on her top, "But you should know…I like the idea of you being my boyfriend." She said with a smile over her shoulder and left.
Vincent fell back onto his bed still painfully aware of a pup tent in his pants and groaned. He had just passed up sex with a beautiful woman…Now he needed to take another shower, only a cold one this time. "I'm way too principled for my own good," he muttered.
Emma was walking the halls just wondering what had just happened. He always seemed to surprise her and to tell the truth she was in a bit of shock. He was such a sweet and kind person…He deserved better then her. He didn't know everything about her, about all the horrible things she had done…Only the horrible things that had been done too her. She sighed to herself as she went to her room to think. She had told him the truth about wanted to be more then just a friend, to be his girlfriend. But how would he deal with her past…all of it.
Would he reject her? For some reason that thought wanted to make her cry for the first time in a long time.
NEXT UP CHAPTER 30:RELEASED EMOTIONS
Oh and I know Amara isn't bi, but for the sake of the story let's just say she is. Plus I wanted to have a serious social comment on how hard it is for some people to deal with their sexual identity who are confused on it. If you got a problem with it fine, but don't ask us to change it or complain about it.