16 A meeting

Several days later, during which Severus had done a lot of sorting books and articles, cooking and had also gone for long walks in the surroundings while Remus had been busy with his job, it was evening and they were sitting in the kitchen to eat one of Severus' meals.

'Say, Severus, how on earth do you manage to peal the potatoes so evenly without using magic?'

'Long practice in cutting ingredients for potions, I guess.' Severus smiled. 'No magic, I swear. How could I, anyway? With you being away all day and me not able to go to Diagon Alley without help to buy a new wand. Or do you think Harry would go so far to come here secretely and lend me his wand?'

'No, of course not. And that's good, actually. I didn't want to tell you, but I got a notice at the Ministry the other day. Your Unforgivable didn't go by unnoticed, you see.'

'Oh.' Severus raised his brows. 'I had forgotten about that. I am sorry, did you have any inconveniencies because of that?'

'Not really. I told them that you were living at my place. I had to, anyway. They always want to know where a werewolf, and especially a new one, is resident. I even told them about your nightmares, don't look at me like that! It's always better to give them part of the truth. I didn't give away that it was an Unforgivable, you know. As it was not strong enough they weren't able to identify it properly. I said that it was a defence curse you used in your sleep.'

'But then you have informed them of my regained magical abilities, Remus! Now they will watch me even closer. I would have preferred to practice a bit to be sure, and then apply to be registered as a wizard again. What if they ask me to perform magic and I fail?'

'Don't worry, Severus. You will have the opportunity to practice.' Remus pulled his wand from his left sleeve and offered it to a much surprised Severus.

The other werewolf looked at him unbelievingly. 'What now? All of a sudden? Where does this change come from?'

'I can't have you conjure another dragon in front of Ministry officials, can I? That would throw a bad light on my position as your social worker, don't you think?' Remus grinned, laid the wand into Severus right hand and even closed his fingers around the magical instrument. 'Go ahead. I'll do the washing up,' he urged him again.

Severus stood up, still looking a bit undecidedly upon the unexpected opportunity Remus had given him.

'Right. Can I do it in the living room?'

'Sure. Wherever you want.'

'Thank you.' Severus went to go but stopped in the kitchen door. 'Remus?' he said reluctantly.

The wizard who had begun to collect the dishes and other things on the table looked up. 'Yes?'

'You're really a friend, you know.'

'Oh no,' Remus replied embarrased. 'I am just trying to be a good social worker, that's all.' He turned to put the plates into the sink. 'No, that's a lie. To tell the truth, I have got a soft heart and couldn't stand your sad look any longer, every time I did magic.'

He went over to Severus and shoved him out into the corridor. 'You go and practice, I will check on you later, but … Severus? Do me a favour, if possible, start with small, dead things, stick to furniture or anything which isn't alive if you like, and spare the big reptiles for later, yes?' he asked him laughing.

'Promised,' Severus nodded curtly and strode towards the living room, already feeling the tingling sensation caused by the wand which was increased by his excitement.

-

He started with practical things. His first exercise was to miniaturise the furniture and to place it along the walls to give him more room. As he didn't find any difficulties in that, he started on other things, but as promised, kept everything small and restricted himself to dead objects.

When he was about to rotate Remus' living room table in the air after having deprived it of it's legs, the owner of the mutilated piece of furniture made him start heavily. His concentration was broken and the tabletop fell onto the floor with a loud rumble.

'Very impressive, but you do have to work on your reflexes, Severus,' Remus commented drily, smiling. 'It's late and I thought you might like a tea before going to bed.'

Late it was indeed. When Severus checked his watch he noticed that he had been doing magic for over two hours. He had been working so concentrated that he had forgotten about the time.

'Yes. Very kind of you. Thank you for letting me practice, Remus.' A bit confused, he wanted to hand the wand back to it's owner, but Remus shook his head.

'Don't you think you should put everything back into place? You see, I liked my living room as it was.' Remus grinned, obviously enjoying Severus' irritation.

'Yes, sure. Sorry.' With a flourish of the wand he restored the room to it's former condition.

Remus nodded appreciatively. 'You know, personally, I think that the more you practice the stronger your magic will become, and you will have a good chance to keep it after your first transformation. But I shouldn't raise any false hopes in you. It was just an idea. As I don't know any cases similar to your's, it's impossible to foresee what will happen.'

'I know. Thank you anyway.'

They ended the day with a cup of tea in the kitchen, during which they hardly talked. Severus was immersed in thoughts about his future, and Remus who could easily guess what occupied Severus' mind, accepted the fact that his temporary lodger had become monosyllabic.

-

The next day, it was late afternoon and Severus was in the middle of another interesting article from Potions Weekly which he had subscribed recently, when the doorbell rang.

Annoyed and a bit alarmed he went to the door, because it was rare that somebody rang Remus' bell. Last time it had been Mrs. Trafford, and he wasn't keen on another conversation with this fine example of a Muggle landlady.

When he opened, he came face to face with a man he had never seen before. The stranger was about sixty years old, smaller than Severus and inconspicuously dressed in Muggle corduroy trousers and a dark woollen coat. His eyes were brown and his hair grey with distinct white streaks but it was only beginning to bald. The man's face was red from the cold outside and he was puffing slightly. Although Severus was also a stranger to him he wore a friendly expression and smiled.

'Yes?'

'Uhm. I expected to see Remus here. Warren is my name. Ralph Warren. You must be a new one then?'

Severus was bewildered. Had he missed something and should he know this man and what he wanted here?

'Pleased to meet you. Snape, Severus Snape. But … excuse me, a "new one"?'

'Wolf, of course. As it will be our monthly meeting tonight, I assumed that you are a new werewolf of Remus' pack.'

'Yes, that I certainly am. A new werewolf, unfortunately. But, sorry, do come in.' He stepped aside and gestured the visitor to come in.'

'So it is meant to take place tonight, our meeting? Remus is not in yet, you see, and he has obviously forgotten to tell me.'

'But why are you here then, may I ask?' Warren asked curiously.

'As one of Remus' new cases, I live here temporarily. He thought it necessary to have an eye on me before my first transformation.' Severus sighed inwardly. He wasn't keen on talking about this. But he didn't want to be unpolite to this friendly man either, the second werewolf he came to know.

'I am quite sure it is tonight. But if this is in any way inconvenient for you, I will leave, of course.' He had sensed that Severus was feeling very uncomfortable.

'No, no. I believe you. It had to be some day this week. Actually, I trust Remus to forget about it.' He shook his head. Remus was in for a lecture, that was for certain. He only hoped that his friend social worker would turn up soon, preferably before the rest of who knew how many werewolves would invade his flat.

'Give me your coat and make yourself comfortable in the living room. I'll see for some tea.'

He helped Warren out of his coat and hung it up at the wardrobe in the corridor. While Severus went into the kitchen to find some things to offer to his unexpected guest, Warren went into the living room. A few minutes later, Severus followed him with tea and sandwiches.

'You said your name was Snape?'

'Severus Snape, yes.' He put the tea things on the table and sat down in an armchair opposite of Warren.

'Excuse me for my curiosity, but the Severus Snape who was a member of the Order of the Phoenix who helped to defeat You Know Who?'

'Yes, but I didn't know I was famous.' Severus shrugged his shoulders indifferently. He would have never admitted it, but he was a bit flattered that somebody remembered his name in connection with the downfall of the Dark Lord.

'Oh, I think every wizard has kept the newspaper articles of the greatest day in wizarding history. So it would only be natural to remember a few names.'

Warren was still smiling in a friendly way, but as Severus had no urge to speak about lycanthropy with other people than Remus, he neither wanted to share his experiences of that particular time of his life with strangers. Instead of following this thread of conversation he first refilled the cups.

'I am sorry, but I can't … well let's say I can't do any magic at the moment. It was an … accident. Just in case you were wondering … ' Severus said apologetically.

'Just like me.'

'What? You are a squib as well?' Severus was astonished and raised his brows.

'No. I am a Muggle.' Warren laughed embarrassedly. 'So I have never had the experience what it would be like to be able to do magic. I guess that's better than to know and having lost the ability, but I am always jealous of your lot, of course.'

'A Muggle as a werewolf? That's rare, isn't it?' Severus didn't make any effort to hide his astonishment.

'Well, I am not the only one. As far as I know, if Muggles are bitten, they will be obliviated and shut up in St. Mungo's. Most of them turn mad. The witch who later became my wife prevented that. And Remus, the last years he has been looking after me, he was a great help, too. So I am probably one of the few who lives a fairly, well, shall I say "normal" life? Of course, I had to leave behind my former Muggle life completely. Family, friends, work and all. That was hard. But the new friends I got, the wizards and their world, my wife of course … have helped a lot. I can say that I am quite happy, nevertheless.' He sighed and sipped at his tea.

'Ministry officials would call you a model werewolf, then.'

'Well, let's say they are not interested in me and let me have my peace because there are other cases they have to deal with. The best means to keep them away from you is to keep a low profile anyway.' The man shrugged his shoulders. 'Can I have another cup?'

'Yes, sure. Sorry.' Severus had been a bit absorbed. The concept of somebody dealing with lycanthropy in a rational way like this man was somewhat strange to him. Well, if you had family…

The doorbell rang again. Severus got up to answer it. Where the hell was Remus? He didn't want to play host to his clients only because he happened to be one of them and shared Remus' flat for some time. And the other werewolves wouldn't be as inconspicuous and "normal" as Warren, he was quite sure about that.

'Hello! What a surprise, a new face. Am I the first at this party and so lucky to get your story out of you first hand? No, I bet Ralph is already here. Am I right? He is horrible, always on time.'

Severus was greeted by a tall, elegantly dressed woman Muggles wouldn't have identified as a witch, but it was quite obvious. She was dressed in a dark woollen robe which was changing it's colour every few seconds. Under that she was wearing a purple velvet dress which went along perfectly with her brown hair she had put up in a very stylish way. From her excited behaviour Severus would have guessed that she was on some kind of drugs but he couldn't be sure. He detected the grey streaks in her hair which could be found in many werewolves and which she had obviously tried to dye, but without success. What struck him more was the necklace with pearls made out of dried and pressed herbs accompanied by a single wolf's tooth.

'Ralph is indeed here, but Remus hasn't shown up yet. My name is Severus Snape.' He stepped aside to let her in.

'Pleasure. Clarence Rowen.'

She went to come in, but stopped on the threshold for a moment to study Severus more closely. But the expected enquiry after his name didn't come this time. He was glad about it. On the way to the living room she led the way, stopped only shortly to shed her robes and handed them to Severus. After having found a peg on the corridor wall, he went into the kitchen to prepare some more tea and sandwiches. He also got some biscuits out of the storing cupboard. As Remus hadn't come yet, he couldn't hide in there to prepare anything else, not to speak of cooking which he had originally planned. He was frustrated.

When he came into the living room, Clarence and Ralph were talking animatedly, or, to be more precisely, she talked and he was listening, nodding from time to time.

'So, you are really a new one in the pack, aren't you?' she directed her interest onto Severus as soon as he entered the room. Ralph looked relieved from being spared for some time.

'Your first transformation in three days? But you are not much of a talker, are you?'

'Well, I think this is not something everybody wants to talk about freely.' He had known that this woman would be difficult to deal with, he had sensed the danger right from the moment he had opened the door.

'No, but you could give us at least some information about you. That would only be fair, wouldn't it Ralph?'

The addressed werewolf sighed. 'Clarence, he is right, not everybody feels comfortable talking about our condition. You should accept that.'

'Oh yes?' she retorted aggressivly 'Never speak about it, act as if it was just a flu or something. Keep it secret. Never say how horrible this is. No use to play cool here, Mr. Snape. You want to know how it's really like?'

It was no use to try to stop her. Severus wouldn't have known what to say anyway. He was only hoping that Remus would come soon.

'Well, it's horrible. It's as simple as that. Every single month of the rest of your damned pitiful life you will transform into this beast, if you want or not. Hardly anybody will like you, or, even worse, they pretend that they don't mind. But they do, of course. People always find excuses not to meet you, not to talk to you, not to come too close! They are frightened!' She had raised her voice in the course of her speech and it became shrill.

'You will hide from people, lie to them because everything is better than to admit that you are a werewolf. And the transformation itself. If you think you have known what pain was, forget about it! It is absolute hell, pain without end. And the worst is … ' her voice became unsteady, '… if you cannot hate the person who has bitten you.'

'I think we all know what you mean, Clarence,' said a soft voice from the door.

They hadn't heard Remus come in. He was standing in the living room door, another guest at his side. A young man, more likely a teenager, not very tall but thin, short black hair which made the streaks in it the more visible, watery blue eyes and pale skin. He was wearing Muggle jeans, trainers and an anorak. The clothing was not appropriate for the cold season, Severus thought, even more as it looked as if he had been living on the street for some time.

Remus stepped around the armchair Severus was sitting in and bent down to hug the witch.

'You look great, Clarence. But your tea is getting cold,' Remus said in a soft tone Severus had never heard of his friend, because it was like talking to a very frightened child, not a grown up woman. But it seemed to work on her. They could all see that she was on the brink of tears. Remus took her tea cup from the table and offered it to her. She took it reluctantly, her hands shivering a bit, but she accepted it and started to take small sips.

'Right.' Remus straightened up, using his usual, not less friendly, but more clear voice now. 'No more details for now. I think Severus here has already got a rough idea. May I introduce Timothy to you, Severus. Tim, this is Severus, who must think that we are all freaks. So let's all make a good appearance, shall we?' he joked and Severus was amazed how Remus had managed to ease the tension in the room.

'I'll go and see what's in the kitchen for all of us.' Remus was rubbing his hands while turning to leave the living room.

Severus got up and followed him closely.

'A word, Remus.'

'Yes?' Remus, who had opened the door of the fridge to look for anything suitable for his guests, turned around wearing a somewhat guilty expression. 'See, I know, Severus. I haven't told you. Sorry. Actually, I had forgotten the exact date.' He shrugged his shoulders. 'Maybe we could …'

But Severus, who had felt quite uncomfortable in the company of the other werewolves for some time already, was losing his patience now.

'You know, Remus, you must be an improvisational genius, given the fact that you forget so much,' he started in one of his much exercised sarcastic tones. 'But maybe that's a special qualification for social workers who have to deal with werewolves. Everything is a bit chaotic, isn't it?' he went on even harsher.

'Hey look, I forgot, ok? I am sorry that I didn't tell you and …'

'Sorry? Yes, you really should be,' Severus cut in again and raised his voice, 'leaving me alone with these … people I didn't know. They are complete strangers, you know? I have got enough with my own problem and there I am suddenly confronted with other werewolves, of whom some are, well …' he made a undistinguishable gesture with his right hand. He was speaking very loud now, nearly shouting.

'When you asked me to organise something to eat for this meeting, I really did think about it a lot. I would have liked to do something, actually. But that would have needed at least some preparation.'

The louder Severus became, the darker Remus expression got. He looked furious when he finally started his counterattack.

'NOW You listen, Severus!' he shouted back.

'Before you lose yourself in absolute selfpity, and to make myself clear:' He stopped shouting but spoke with a raised voice, pronouncing every word. 'This is my kitchen and my flat, and before I allow somebody to shout at me at my place I'd rather throw him out, ok? I invited you here and you are welcome to stay, but please stop acting in this way. You will certainly have realized that you are not the only one with lycanthropy and that there are many others who, quite naturally, have the same problems that you have.'

Remus was standing with his back to the fridge, arms folded in front of his chest. Although he was very slim, with his demeanour and his serious expression on his face his personality seemed to fill the whole kitchen, Severus realized all of a sudden. During the whole debate he hadn't moved from his place in the doorway. During Remus' speech he had calmed down a bit but was now feeling very much embarrassed.

'About me or the others being chaotic, well, that may very well be at times,' the older werewolf went on in a calm voice, looking at Severus seriously.

'But otherwise, they are completely normal, everybody with his or her own special background. Naturally, you cannot know all the details of their histories as I do, but maybe it will help you to understand a bit better and to focus less on yourself if I give you a few facts.'

Although Severus felt the desire to run, run far away and hide somewhere to leave behind all the embarrassment and confusion, he couldn't. He wasn't able to budge from his place in the kitchen doorway, Remus seemed to pin him down there with his stare.

'Clarence was bitten by her husband who is in Askaban. She was pregnant at that time. Her child was born at the right time, though, meaning, it wasn't born a werewolf, but as she didn't seem stable at that time, Ministry officials took it away from her. Clarence was my very first case as a werewolf social worker. Since I've come to know her I've tried to help her getting her child back, but in vain. They are hiding it from her.'

'Timothy has no parents. We don't even know if he is a born werewolf or was bitten very young. He has spent his life in nearly all the wizard orphanages the Ministry runs, no familiy wanted to take him, or, to be more precise, if a family showed interest, it was either a werewolf family, who, you can easily guess, wasn't trusted very much, or the Ministry didn't want to give him into a family environment because he was known as "difficult". He sometimes doesn't report to the Ministry dungeon on a full moon which causes me a lot of trouble. If he doesn't start to show more responsibility, I am afraid, I can't prevent him to land in Azkaban as well.'

Remus looked very sad after his gloomy reports. Severus had managed to move away from the door and walked over to the window where he gripped the frame and looked out to avoid to look into Remus' face.

'And about Ralph …'

'He told me,' Severus broke the silence with a hoarse voice, on the one hand to say at least something, but also to stop Remus giving too detailed descriptions of the miserable circumstances of life of a part of the population he belonged to as well and whose fate he would share from now on.

'Right. You know then. Good. It was just to give you an idea about my work and the situation of other werewolves. You are one of them now, and I can tell you that you are as difficult a case as them. You with your moods, you know.'

Remus didn't even try to hide the fact that he was still enervated.

'I am not saying that I don't like my work and I don't want to complain, but sometimes I prefer people like Clarence who say directly what they are thinking.'

'So do me a favour and pull yourself together,' the social worker continued strictly. 'As I said, you don't have to attend, but I would prefer you stayed. You have to accept the fact that you will be part of this community, even if it is not closely knit and you won't have much contact with other werewolves. In general, I think you are strong enough that you will manage. But you do have to work on yourself a bit.'

Severus didn't move. He was staring out of the window into the courtyard. He couldn't answer to that because he knew that Remus was right. He was a burden for everyone to deal with. He had known that since school times when he had come to terms with the fact that nobody really liked him … Damn, Severus how pathetic are you? Here is somebody who is willing to help you! He told himself.

It was true, Remus would always feel obliged because he was guilty of Severus' fate, but that was not the only reason. Remus was somebody who believed in the good sides of people and he was almost always being nice, despite Severus behaviour.

'I take it that you are staying? Right, now that I have messed up the catering thing, I would appreciate it very much if you could help me nevertheless. Would you do the pizza thing again for me, Severus? Preferably without the alcoholic part. I'll give you the money back, of course. The Ministry pays for these things.'

Severus gulped. 'Yes. Sure.'

And here Remus even came up with a peace offer where others would long have given up. This would be the point to apologize, but it was just too hard for Severus to fight against his armour of pride and defence which had served him over the years not to let people come to near to him.

Severus turned around to face Remus, finally.

'If you allow me to get something from the Indian takeaway around the corner. It looked quite good the other day.'

'Yes. Go and get some fresh air.'

Severus nearly fled the kitchen and did not look at Remus when he passed him. In the corridor he did not stop, just grabbed his coat from the peg and stormed out of the door. On the street, he only slowed down a bit to put on his coat.

He did not go to the said takeaway directly, but went to the park first. The fresh and cold air had indeed a positive effect on him. He felt that he was able to start thinking clearly again, but at the same time he felt ashamed. Remus was really trying hard and even if he was a bit chaotic or forgot things, even if they were as important as his werewolf meetings, given the fact that his clients were all quite different and difficult, he did very well. And Severus knew that if need be, Remus would defend all of them, including himself, against any demands of the Ministry, even if he had to lie at times. He definitely had to apologize to him.

After having calmed down considerably, Severus directed his steps towards the Indian takeaway. He didn't want to add to Remus' negligence and cause the other werewolves to wait even longer for their meal only because he had to overcome his depressive mood.

When he entered the flat, packed with a load of food bags and boxes, he could hear laughing from the living room. Well, at least they were in a better mood than him. He made haste to deliver the food things to prevent them from getting cold. When he entered the room, nearly dropping a few boxes, he was greeted with enthusiasm.

'Oh great, I was already starving,' Clarence smiled at him.

He let everything drop on the table and Remus took out his wand and spoke a short spell which caused the piece of furniture to grow a bit higher. That way everybody was more comfortable with eating. Severus left the living room to get rid of his coat and Remus went into the kitchen to get some cutlery.

He wasn't back when Severus took his seat, which Ralph had offered him, between Timothy and the latter on the sofa.

'He's really sweet, isn't he?' Clarence stated.

'Who?' Ralph asked back, although everybody knew that she could only mean the one person who wasn't present at the moment.

'Well, Remus, of course. What do you think Mr. Snape?' she demanded, winking at him.

'He is doing a good job with our lot, that's what I think,' Severus said casually, shrugging his shoulders, but already sensing the danger which was unmistakably coming from her.

'What I meant was, … well, you are living together in his flat, aren't you?' she gave him such a sweet smile, that he had to fight hard not to jump up and take her by her throat. He groaned inwardly and counted up to three and took a deep breath.

'Mrs. Rowan, I am sorry if I or Remus haven given you any false ideas, but I am only staying here temporarily because Remus as my social worker thought it wise to keep an eye on me before my first transformation, to help me to cope with it better,' he told her in a calm but dangerously low voice. 'And I must ask you not to draw any other conclusions,' he added sharply.

'All right, all right. Why do you men always have to be so touchy? I was only joking.' She shook her head and laughed. 'You know, you just sounded like an old couple quarreling, back there in the kitchen.'

Ralph put his hand on Severus arm to stop him from any unconsidered action, but he had himself under perfect control by now. This was partly due to the old mechanism who still worked with him if need be. His way to keep his feelings inside and block everything out. But there was also a certain tiredness coming over him, a lack of energy which made it suddenly easy to ignore Clarence's impertinence and kept him from jumping up from the sofa and flee this place. He wondered if that came from his lycanthropy, he had never felt such strange changes in his body before in such a short time.

Then Remus came in and started giving out knives and forks, so everybody was busy with opening their food boxes and swapping them between each other. They ate mostly in silence if you don't count the comments about the food one or the other contributed from time to time. Only Timothy, who hadn't said anything since he had entered the room, didn't take part in the small talk.

'Really tasty. Good choice, Severus.' Ralph, from whom Severus was quite sure he meant what he was saying, tucked in heartily.

'Yes, Severus. That was very kind indeed, that you took that upon you to provide us with dinner. I am really thankful, you know, especially after I have messed this up.' Remus nodded appreciatively in Severus' direction and continued eating.

'No great deal,' Severus mumbled. If he hadn't been keen on a conversation in this circle, the more he would avoid this now in the presence of this poor woman who obviously tried to compensate her frustration and grief by embarassing other people or attacking them verbally.

Severus felt miserable. Right now he didn't wish anything more dearly than to be alone in a dark room, preferably in bed, and cry, like he had done when he was a boy. Life was so unfair. Yes, he knew that he wasn't the only one with lycanthropy, but that fact didn't help much at the moment.

As his eyes fell on the silent Timothy who looked, if you could guess anything at all from his expression, as if he felt much the same. If he had been bitten very young or even born as a werewolf, how many times did he have to endure this already? From his poor looks (which were accompanied by a smell which bore witness of several days without washing) Severus guessed that he must be living out on the street at times. He didn't seem to have any friends, only Remus he could trust, which, on the other hand, was quite a lot if you knew Remus. But he didn't have much of a perspective.

Where Severus could resort to his academic education and start a business in potion making, provided that he kept his regained magic (he didn't dare to think it to be differently, because then he would really be at an end), Timothy didn't even have a proper school education. Well, Severus came to the conclusion that it sometimes did help a bit to compare one's own fate with others.

It struck him that nobody had tried to start a conversation with the young werewolf so far, soo when they were nearly at an end with eating, Severus wondered if he should, but didn't know where to begin. He could hardly ask him under what circumstances he had been bitten, could he? It was obviously the custom in this circle to let everybody be as he or her wished. And if Clarence was hardly stopped in her offending ways, Timothy wasn't forced to participate in any conversation. As Severus didn't have enough background information about the boy and thought that Remus would know best how to treat him, he would rather let the expert deal with the youngest in their group. And indeed, when the last fork had been put away and everybody put their foodboxes on a pile, the social worker acted according to his role.

'Have you got a place to stay for tonight, Tim?' he suddenly asked without warning.

Now, directly addressed, the timid and withdrawn youngster had no choice but to answer. He looked up to Remus and shrugged his shoulders. 'Uhm. Don't know.'

'You can stay here, of course. If Severus doesn't mind?'

'Me? No, no. Of course not. There'll be enough room for the three of us,' he said noncomittantly, but made a mental note to warn the boy that he must not approach or try to wake him when he was asleep to prevent any further accidents.

'Oh, a men's household, that must be fun!' Clarence exclaimed.

'You would be surprised, Severus is a very good cook,' Remus cut her short before she could take breath and go into more detail.

'But I don't cook for everybody. Just in case you were planning to invite yourself for dinner,' Severus informed her with one of his sourest looks he could manage. That earned him a critical look from Remus, but he saw no reason now, to keep up any polite behaviour towards that woman who was so annoying. Yes, he could show some understanding if he wished to, but even if her demeanour was due to her being a very depressed species of a werewolf, there were limits.

Severus needn't have worried, because she didn't seem in the mood to venture further on the subject. There was an awkward pause because nobody obviously knew what to say or didn't want to. As Severus had provided the food he thought that he had a good excuse to feel responsible for the clearing up and any further wishes of the guests as well.

'Some more tea anybody?' he asked while he was collecting the empty food boxes.

As everybody was positive about it, he left the living room for the kitchen and began to brew some tea.

The rest of the evening passed by in an unspectacular way. Remus and Ralph were talking most of the time, mainly about werewolf matters, especially the laws concerning them. Clarence had given up talking to them at all and, as expected, Tim had never started to make an attempt for conversation. Therefore Severus was left in peace and could concentrate on the images the flickering fire, which Remus had lighted after their meal, created on the carpet and the wall. Thus he started heavily when the doorbell suddenly rang.

'This will be Lydia, my wife,' Ralph explained while Remus got up to answer the door. 'She always apparates me here and collects me afterwards. She spends her time during the meeting in Diagon Alley. We live in the countryside, you see.'

'Hello everybody.' A short, wiry and energetic witch, about Ralph's age with grey and curly hair strode in.

'Lydia, my dear. Did you have a nice time?' Ralph gave his wife a fond smile.

'Hi Clarence, Tim, and you are?' she squinted her eyes and gave Severus an inquisitive but not unfriendly look.

He had a vague idea that he had seen her before, but couldn't place her.

'Severus Snape.'

'Really? Severus Snape?' she exclaimed, smiling brightly.

'Well, I didn't ask to be famous,' he said a bit enervated, although he knew he shouldn't, because from his first impression, she seemed to be as friendly and well-meaning as her husband.

'Ah no, I wasn't thinking about your share of 'You Know Who's' downfall everybody will remember for ages, of course. No, but you don't recongnize me, do you?' she laughed.

'No, I'm afraid I don't, but I am quite sure that I've seen you somewhere, but I …' he shrugged his shoulders, 'sorry, you have to help me out there.'

'Right. I'll give you a hint: my family name - and I've kept it after my marriage with Ralph - is Rafflewood.'

Oh, no. Severus mouth dropped open. He was used to be confronted with his past from time to time, but he had never met somebody from that far back. Miss Rafflewood, he now remembered quite clearly, had been his teacher in primary school.

'No need to be embarrased, my dear,' she laughed goodnaturedly, 'as far as I recall it, you were a good pupil. Only very serious, yes, too serious for your age,' she mused. 'I still remember the day how shocked I was when you told me after I had asked you why you never laughed, that life wasn't fun. Oh dear, now I've become too personal. Forgive me, but that's a fault of mine, unfortunately.' Now she looked rather embarrassed. But that did not really cause her to stop.

'But do tell me one thing,' she went on and her face brightened again, 'you've become a potions master, and achieved quite a lot in this field, but I had always thought you were very interested in reptiles? As far as I remember, you were one of the children who did quite a lot of transfiguring them?'

Remus tried, though unsuccessfully, to stifle a laugh with a feigned cough.

'Uhm. Might be. They are, at least parts of them, useful as potion ingredients.'

'You were allowed to do magic in primary school?' Clarence asked astonished.

'In that school, yes,' Lydia explained. 'You see, most of the children came from so called "pureblood" families and their parents thought it important to start with magic as early as possible. Well, most of them had have magical training from their parents before anyway. You can't stop wizarding children to do magic at a young age when they have everybody around doing it, but that went too far, in my opinion. It's not allowed anymore today, of course.'

'We had good reason to restrict magic to the classrooms at Hogwarts,' Severus added.

'Right. It's late. I believe in having a lot of sleep in the nights before the moon. So I think we should go now. Lydia?' Ralph got up from the sofa.

'Yes, dear. Well, good night everybody. See you another time, I guess?'

Clarence got up as well and they all said their good byes and after a few minutes, Remus, Severus and Tim were left alone in Remus' flat.

-

'I think Ralph was right. We shouldn't stay up much longer either,' Remus began while he was already transfiguring the sofa in the living room into a bed. 'Severus, can you manage, or do you think it would be safer If you slept separately?'

'Yes, perhaps.'

Because Tim gave both of them a questioning look, Severus thought he should explain. 'I tend to react very aggressive when suddenly woken up, meaning you would be in for a rather nasty curse if you did such a thing. And as I do not want to injure anybody, it would be better if I slept away from both of you.'

'I don't care where I sleep,' Tim said indifferently, shrugging his shoulders.

'I can offer my bedroom to one of you and sleep in the kitchen myself …' Remus offered, but Severus cut him short.

'No, rubbish. You are the only one of us who has a proper job and you've got all the work because of us. I can go into the kitchen and Tim can have the living room.'

'Ok. But let me at least conjure a bed for you.'

Remus went into the kitchen and Severus into the living room to get his bed things. He also got some cushions and blankets out of the cupboard and handed them to Tim who started to make his bed as well. When Severus came back into the kitchen, Remus had done as promised and a comfortable guest bed was already waiting.

'Quite practical, actually. That way you'll be able to prepare breakfast for all of us.' Remus grinned.

'Thought so,' Severus retorted drily but not unfriendly.

'That looks quite acceptable,' he yawned and only then realized how tired he was. But there was still something on his mind he wanted to get rid of.

'Listen, I haven't apologized yet for tonight. I know I was acting impossible, but …'

'That's ok, Severus. We are all under stress and a bit irritable before the full moon. Actually, I expected a reaction of that kind from you. As it'll be your first moon, it's no wonder, really.' Remus gave him an encouraging smile.

'Why do you always have to be so bloody understanding, huh?'

'That's one of my faults, I guess.' Remus was still smiling when he went out of the kitchen. 'I'll be quick in the bathroom and tell you when it's your turn.'

-

It was in the middle of the night when Severus woke up. This time, he was sure he hadn't cursed anybody. His heartbeat was normal and he felt as if he had been sleeping well so far. There was also no need to visit the bathroom and he couldn't hear anybody else moving around in the flat, but something was definitely wrong. He decided to get up and check on Tim because he trusted this depressed looking youth to do something stupid or even dangerous. Maybe he had fled again and left the flat.

Having made that decision, he got out of bed a bit unwillingly, because he had really slept well up to now and couldn't remember any nightmare. Tim wasn't in the kitchen, so Severus went to the bathroom, and what was awaiting him there was worse than a nightmare.

The room was only dimly lit, but enough to see - and even if it had been dark Severus' sensitive nose would have smelled it. Tim was sitting on the floor, leaning against the bath tub. He had cut his wrists and there was quite a lot blood on the tiles. He was staring at the floor where a razor blade was lying, crying silently, tears running down his cheeks.

'Oh shit. REMUS! REMUS! COME HERE QUICK AND BRING A FIRST AID KIT!' Severus bellowed on the top of his lungs to alarm the other werewolf.

'REMUS!' he turned around to see if the called was coming, and saw Remus already standing in the doorway behind him, firmly gripping a first aid box and his wand, a look of horror in his eyes.

'WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING HERE?' he shouted. Severus cringed because he hadn't expected such a reaction. 'DID YOU COME HERE TO DO THIS? WELL, YOU NEEDN'T HAVE TO, YOU KNOW, I CAN DO WITHOUT THIS MESS. HOW OFTEN …'

'Remus,' Severus got up. 'Remus,' he said in a calm but strict voice, took the first aid box out of his hands and gripped him at the shoulder. 'I'll deal with him. You go and wait in the kitchen, make some tea or whatever. We'll talk later. Just one thing. Give me your wand, please. I will need it here.' As Remus didn't react, Severus took the wand out of Remus' hands and shoved him firmly out of the room.

Not looking around if Remus had done as being told, Severus kneeled down and began to get bandages out of the box.

He used the wand and did some cleaning and healing spells on the cuts. It had been a bit bold to send Remus away, as Severus hadn't done medical spells for a long time, but Tim hadn't cut deep and it worked quite well. While he was working, Severus tried to start a conversation with the young werewolf.

'Did you want to be found? I mean, because you came here. Not that I want to encourage you to do so, but you could have done it somewhere else. If you had planned it in the first place. Or didn't you plan it at all?' He looked Tim straight into the face, but the young man didn't react. 'Why aren't you talking?'

'Because it doesn't help,' Tim suddenly said in a hoarse whisper.

'Well, not every werewolf is as desperate as you, it seems.'

'Weren't you the one who said that life wasn't fun when you were young? You don't know. You don't really know, do you? You haven't even transformed once, how could you know then! Don't you realize? Don't you see them?' Tim suddenly became agitated. 'All those freaks! They are out of their mind. Just look at Clarence. Do you know how many times she has tried to kill herself?'

'There I have to agree with you. I don't know how it's like, but I am fearing the worst.' Severus grimassed painfully. 'If it helps you to know: I am terrified to bits.'

'No, it doesn't.'

'Thought so,' Severus commented drily and sighed. This was going to be hard, as he had no idea how to talk to somebody like Tim sensibly, not to speak of helping him in any way.

'Do not think that Remus doesn't like you, Tim. He is just very disappointed, that's all. He is working very hard to help all "his" werewolves, to the point that he will even try to put you in a favourable light in the eyes of the Ministry if one of us has overstepped the line. I believe you know that, don't you? And there comes somebody like you, he lets you stay overnight because you have no place to live, and you try to commit suicide. For him that means a personal failure.'

'I don't blame him. It's not his fault.'

'You could tell him that yourself,' Severus tried, desperately seeking for something to get the conversation going. But Tim didn't react in the hoped-for way.

'As I said, I don't talk anymore to people who are meaning well. It's no use. Doesn't help.'

He spoke these sentences in an monotonous unemotional way which Severus found quite unsettling. He finished the bandaging in silence.

'Now. As we all will need some rest, it will be best if everybody goes back to bed. Can you walk?'

'Yes,' Tim murmured, hardly audible.

Severus helped him up and led him into the living room where he saw him back into bed.

'Can we come to an agreement of some sort that you don't do anything similar, at least for tonight?'

Tim didn't answer and rolled over to the wall.

'Can I bring you anything? Something to drink?' Severus tried again, but to no avail.

Severus decided to leave it at that for the moment. He couldn't force the young man to speak to him, nor to Remus. So he decided to look after the other werewolf, who would, hopefully, talk to him.

When he reached the kitchen he found Remus sitting at the table, arms propped on the table, hiding his face in his hands.

'He's in bed now, Remus. He will be all right, physically, I mean. I tried to speak to him, but he refuses to talk about his problems. I believe that's nothing new to you. He doesn't seem to be desperate, just … well, I am sorry to say that, but he makes an impression of being someone who has given up. I am certainly no expert, maybe there are other people who would be able to get near him.'

'We have tried that. Many people have,' Remus murmured in a low voice, not looking up. 'Maybe too many. Healers from St. Mungo's, social workers, other werewolves … without success. He should have belonged to a family when he was a child, like me.'

While Severus listened to him, he went to the fridge, took out some milk and began to brew hot chocolate. With Remus' wand it was only a matter of seconds before three steaming mugs stood on the kitchen table.

'I'll be right back, here, have one yourself,' he touched Remus, who was still staring straight down on the table, at the shoulder.

'I thought that was mainly for children,' Remus commented but took the mug anyway, now staring at the beverage for a change.

Severus went out of the kitchen and to the living room. Tim hadn't moved, but Severus couldn't believe that he was really sleeping. He put the mug on a small side table.

'There you are. This sometimes even helps adults to lighten their mood. It will still taste nice when cold, but if I were you I would drink it while it's hot.'

Without waiting for an reaction he left the room to get back to Remus. Severus was beginning to wonder who the social worker was here.

He found Remus sipping at the chocolate when he joined him and took a seat at the table himself.

'Hm. Really good.'

'With the help of your wand, that was quite easy to conjure. Here, you better take it back before I keep it accidentally.' Remus took the magical instrument and looked at Severus for the first time since this incident.

'Thanks.' … 'I've failed completely, this time.' … 'Messed everything up.' He sighed and rubbed his eyes. 'Thank you, that you took it upon you to look after him. How is he anyway?'

'In bed, pretending to sleep. Look Remus, I don't think I will be much help in this case either. I haven't even transformed once, as Tim pointed out, he is not taking me seriously as a werewolf and I am not very talented in talking with people like him.' Somehow Severus didn't think it right to tell Remus in too much detail about his experiences with suicide attempts of students while he was head of Slytherin house.

'I will contact people from our department and St. Mungo's who know him already tomorrow. For the night of the moon, he'll be safe in the dungeons. And after that, we'll see… What he would really need would be a focal point in his life, a person, an occupation of some sort. But he hasn't learned much, unfortunately.'

'You are thinking of some kind of apprenticeship?'

'Yes, that sort of thing.'

'I wouldn't mind having an assistant, but that would depend on him, if he is willing, interested …'

'That would be very kind of you Severus, but I don't want to press you into anything. You don't have to feel obliged to help in this case. But as you said, it depends on him.' … 'Do you think we can risk to go back to bed? We could wake in shifts, to keep an eye on him.'

'Good idea. I won't be able to sleep much after this anyway. Oh, and the bathroom, I…'

'No no. I'll go and clean up there. And I will take the first shift. I'll wake you up to take over, right?'

'If you say so.'

Remus got up and left the kitchen and Severus went back into his bed after he had turned the lights off. Rest, not to speak of sleep was out of the question, so he just lie there, looking at the window. The curtains hadn't been drawn and he was able to see the sky. It was very clear and many stars were visible which told of a cold night outside. Severus had always liked to look at the sky at night. Somehow it looked peaceful, beautiful, actually, even the nearly full moon, if it wouldn't stand as a symbol for something terrible.

-

He must have fallen asleep eventually, because when he woke, it had already dawned and Remus hadn't woken him up. When he checked on Remus he found him asleep in the living room, huddled in a blanket in an armchair. Tim was asleep as well. So it seemed that the excitement of the night had finally sent them all to the restful slumber they needed. Severus didn't wake them but went to the bathroom silently. When he had finished there, he went back to the kitchen and started to prepare breakfast. He made tea and coffee, spread anything on the table which could qualify even remotely for breakfast and fried some eggs.

'Hmm. Smells delicious. How many people are you expecting? Have I missed anything about an early morning party?' Remus had appeared in the door silently. Severus was glad to see him in a relatively good mood.

'It obviously needs quite an amount of fried eggs to wake a sleeping werewolf. What about our enhanced senses, Remus? And there I was thinking I would at least gain something positive from my condition. But as my nose has already been quite sensitive, it seems I won't be able to improve it much more, how disappointing.' Severus sighed dramatically.

'No need to wake up before everything is ready, isn't it? And for your nose, well, you can't improve something which is perfect already, Severus.' Remus grinned and sat down.

'Was that meant to be a compliment?' Severus put some fried egg on Remus plate.

The other didn't answer but started to eat to avoid that. Then both suddenly looked up when they noticed a movement in the kitchen doorway. It was Tim. From what the nightshirt Remus had lent him revealed, the young werewolf was really in a bad shape. Severus hadn't noticed it to that extent when he had dealt with him last night.

'Come in and join us. Tea or coffee?' Severus offered friendly.

Tim came to the table and pulled a chair back reluctantly.

'I am not hungry.'

'That doesn't matter. Not many werewolves are before the full moon. Remus seems to be an exception. Therefore I'd doubt that he'll leave anything for us.' Severus tried to lighten the atmosphere, but that was totally lost on Tim. 'Tea or coffee?'

'Tea, please. Thank you.'

And that was about all they heard from him during breakfast. Not that Remus and Severus were having a profound conversation. They too were already under the influence of the raising moon, and Tim's silence didn't help to improve the atmosphere either.

When they had nearly finished, Remus moved on his chair uncomfortably and cleared his throat, obviously searching for words to speak to the young werewolf.

'Tim, would you perhaps like to talk to Siona again? I was under the impression that you two went along quite well. You should meet her one day, Severus. She really is the funniest werewolf social worker I've ever met.'

He gave Severus a questioning look as if to seek for help or ask for approval for his attempts to reach Tim.

'Yes, perhaps.' The addressed answered in a low voice, in the same unemotional way Severus had experienced the night before.

'Because I will leave for the Ministry in a few Minutes time. I could contact her, but only if you really want that.' Clearly, he was waiting for a sign of enthusiasm from Tim.

'Yes, do so.'

'Right then. You two will manage, won't you? Rest a bit and maybe you can help Severus to cook later. We can have dinner together tonight, what about that?'

Severus nodded. He thought that perhaps it would be easier to get the boy talking if the two of them were doing something, like kitchen work.

-

After Remus had left them, they cleared everything away and Tim really helped him washing up, but hardly said more than "yes" and "no" when asked. Well, there was still time for that when they would be preparing dinner.

When there was nothing left to do in the kitchen, Severus suggested to retire to the living room and Tim didn't object.

'Feel free to do what you like. There are still some things I want to read. As you know, I am into potions very much. Unfortunately, there are not many who share this interest, and if I talk about this subject to others, I am afraid to bore them. But you should know that I am planning to do some research regarding lycanthropy, the wolfsbane potion and what comes with it. That's why you find so many books and articles about this here. Naturally, Remus has collected all sorts of information about our condition as well, but I've tried to bring a system into it and there is still a lot to do, you see.'

'Hmhm.'

Well, no wonder, Severus told himself, what did you expect him to answer after a monologue like this?

Tim huddled in a corner of the sofa with some newspapers and Severus took a bunch of articles he had laid aside for reading yesterday.

At some point, Severus had to go to the bathroom. On his way back, he was still in the corridor, a jolt of pain suddenly hit him totally unprepared and brutally with such force that he collapsed on the floor.

His spine felt as if on fire, then, as if somebody gripped it with steel hands, winding and trying to deform it. Severus screamed. What was happening to him? Was he going to transform before the time? Without the wolfsbane potion? Panic rose in him. What if he attacked Tim? Did werewolves do that to other werewolves when they were in their human form? Was it possible at all to transform at another time? He had no time to follow these questions which were whirling around in his head, because another wave of pain went through his body which nearly caused him to faint.

A/N:

Thank you all those who reviewed and for your patience.

Thank you for the hint, Parrot.