17 First Moon

Disclaimer: the plot was my idea, the main characters belong J.K.Rowling, for the source of inspiration check on my list of favourite authors and stories.

Thank you for all your reviews I got so far. One or two more chapters to come.

'Don't worry. It's not what you think. You are not going to transform before time.'

Severus must either have blacked out for a moment or hadn't been able to notice that Tim, alarmed by his screaming, had come from the living room and was kneeling beside him. Fortunately, the pain seemed to ease off slowly now.

'This will go away,' the young man went on, trying to calm him and patted his back awkwardly. 'Try to breathe deeply and regularly, try to relax,' he urged him.

'What … what is this?' Severus gasped desperately.

'Well, I've heard of it. Sometimes happens before the first full moon. I don't think it's dangerous.' Judging from the way he was speaking, Tim wasn't very worried, not as much as Severus would be in a similar situation.

'You mean I …I won't transform?' Severus whispered.

'I've never heard of that,' Tim answered somewhat unmoved.

Severus tried to calm his breathing and lie completely still, because he thought not to move would help to prevent to trigger any further attacks of pain. Then he flinched, because, as he had his eyes closed, he hadn't noticed that Tim had left him for a short time and had come back with a blanket with which he was covering him now.

'I think it would be good to keep warm. Do you want me to find Remus?'

Severus was astonished. Despite his miserable situation he couldn't miss the fact that Tim had actually taken the initiative to do something sensible. Well, this was an extreme incident, but still, Severus hadn't expected that from him.

'If he … but I don't know that,' Severus groaned, 'if he has taken his mobile phone, c …could you try to phone him, please. The number is on a piece of paper in my coat and …. ' The pain wasn't as intensive as before but it had left him stiff all over and breathing was painful, especially in connection with talking. 'There are also some coins you can use for the phone box at the corner of the street.'

Severus wasn't sure if Tim would be capable of such a task, but in extreme situations like this …

'Right, I'll do that.' Tim said, at least some determination in his voice, and got up.

Severus could hear him rummaging in coat pockets and the jingling of coins. He didn't look up because he was too afraid to cause another wave of pain by any unnessecary movement.

'Got it. I'll try to ring him up. Don't worry.' The clicking of the door told Severus that Tim was gone.

While he carefully tried to find a more comfortable position on the floor, he very much hoped that Tim would be able to reach Remus. After having read so much about lycanthropy, Severus himself had neither come across the phenomenon he was currently suffering from nor had he ever read about a werewolf who had transformed beyond the night of the full moon. Tim obviously knew that, too. At least one field the young man had some knowledge about, which wasn't much of a surprise, he mused, as Tim had been a werewolf as far as he could remember. And Remus will tell you the same, Severus told himself, trying to keep the panic which was threatening to overwhelm him, at bay.

'There, Severus. No need to worry. No werewolf was ever known to transform at another time than the full moon. You'd be the first.' Remus spoke softly to calm Severus, who was shivering. His body had become so rigid and cold that the stiffness in itself was causing pain now.

'Great. I've always longed to become special,' Severus commented drily.

'Where does it hurt?'

'The back, mostly.'

'Let's see. Hmm.' Remus took the blanket away and began to pull Severus shirt out of his trousers.

'What are you doing?'

'Lie still, please.' Remus started to examine his back, touching and probing into the muscles.

'Ouch.'

'No wonder. Hard as wood,' Remus stated, murmuring something Severus couldn't understand and probing further, pressed both his hands on Severus' shoulders.

'What …? Will you tell me…'

'Shhh. Don't move. I am trying to soften your muscles, Severus. I'll use a combination of spells and what Muggles would call a massage, but I have to concentrate for that. So don't speak and keep still,' Remus demanded strictly.

From experience, Severus had learned by now when Remus knew what he was doing and when it was time to let him take over. Therefore he gave in, sighed and closed his eyes, waiting for any effects Remus' treatment would have.

At first, there was only the probing against hard unyielding muscle which hurt, but after some time Severus felt his muscles softening and a warmth spreading over his whole body. It was as if Remus caused the stiffnes to dissolve and Severus made the strange experience of being totally relaxed. His body was becoming so light, he even meant to hover over the ground at least an inch. Having hardly ever been in such a state, Severus was surprised how much he was enjoying this. He began to forget everything around him and sighed deeply.

'Hey, before you become too comfortable, I better stop, huh?' Remus punched him in the ribs and caused Severus to get back to reality quickly.

'Uhm. Thank you. That helped a great deal.' Severus sat up, stretched and began to stuff his shirt back into his trousers. 'Where did you learn this? That was quite pleasant, actually. You could make a fortune with that skill of yours, do you know that?'

Remus laughed. 'Well, perhaps. But I don't work to pile up riches. I'd rather help people.' Then he became serious again. 'As good as you may be feeling now, you should rest and spent the time which remains before the moon calm and, if possible, with a lot of sleep. It is likely that the stress of the meeting and the incident with Tim so shortly before your first full moon has caused this. He didn't come back here, after he phoned me, did he?' Remus asked with a tone which gave away that he was without much hope of getting a positive answer.

Severus grabbed the blanket and got up.

'No, but he just might. You can't foresee what he will do next. I doubt that he knows what he's doing, let alone have him plan anything.'

'You're right, I'm afraid,' Remus answered sadly.

'Well, about the resting, … I am so tired I feel like going to bed anyway, if you don't mind?'

'No, go and get some sleep.'

Severus went to get his bed things from the kitchen first and then turned to the living room. As the guest bed in the living room hadn't been transformed back into the sofa, he only had to change Tim's things with his own sheets and went into bed. He kept his clothes on, only took off his shoes. He was so tired, he didn't mind details like that at the moment. Glad to evade anymore thoughts by sleeping, he huddled into the blankets and closed his eyes.

The next day passed uneventful. As Severus took care to prevent another fit by all means, he avoided anything straining or exciting. The only activity which allowed him to follow that strategy, was to stay at home and read. And that was exactly what the two men did during the day, only intercepted by meals, this time prepared by Remus. As he wasn't much of a cook, he made use of his supply of frozen food he kept in the freezing compartment of his fridge. It wasn't bad, though, even to Severus' standards.

They hardly talked that day. Here, Remus' abilities as a social worker together with his own experience as a werewolf began to show. He seemed to sense that Severus was by no means in the mood to talk, which wasn't too difficult as Severus had never been one to speak about his problems to others. If he had done so in the last weeks, it had been a big exception, because he had come to trust Remus nearly as much as he had trusted Albus. But the other werewolf did not only let him in peace, he watched him closely. Severus was certain that Remus knew how desperate and frightened the new werewolf felt about his future, and he was also very sure that Remus would not let him go away like Tim, should he freak out in the last hours before the moon.

He was running. Running, his paws were hitting the soft ground, he passed some trees and shrubs, but it didn't seem to be very fast and he hardly made any progress. He could already hear their shouting and the barking of the wolfhounds. He ran, tried to become faster with all his might, but to no avail. The voices and the dogs came closer and closer. He did not dare to turn and look around.

Then, there was a road which seemed to cut the wood in half. Maybe there was a chance to flee, would running be easier on hard surface? No, and he would be an easy target, in the open. He had to try to reach the other side of the wood. He somehow felt that he would be safe as soon as he would be there. But he didn't know why.

He crossed the road. He saw the car coming. Fast. He was slow, too slow. He could not jump or go faster, nor stop to avoid it. It hit him full speed. It hurt. This was the end. A werewolf run over by a Muggle car. Did that happen often, he wondered? Why wasn't he dead yet? The impact must have broken every single bone in his body. The car had come to a stillstand over him, he was pressed to the ground by the wheels. It still hurt. Only, why did it take so long?

He could see them coming, pointing towards him, gesticulating. Now they would shoot him. Ok, as well. What are you waiting for? Let the bloody wolf suffer a bit longer, eh?

'Severus! SEVERUS!' Was that Remus between the aurors? How could that be? If this was happening during the full moon, he shouldn't appear in his human form. Why didn't he tell them to shoot him, to end his suffering. Was he planning to rescue him? Remus, you are a fool, he thought.

'SEVERUS! Enervate!'

He opened his eyes and looked into the face of a very worried looking Remus Lupin…

'I thought you were having a nightmare again and tried to wake you, but … well, I somehow lost my nerves and stunned you when I thought you would …..anyway, now you are awake.' Remus smiled embarrassedly.

Severus cleared his throat and took a deep breath. He still had to come to terms with the fact that there was no car and no aurors, but that he was lying on his makeshift bed in Remus' living room. He sighed. He had the strong suspicion that the accident on the road had only been evoked by Remus stunning him.

'Yes, and thanks to your spell, my dream took such a turn that I ended up under a car,' he answered in a tone drier than he wanted to, because he didn't really want to criticize his fellow werewolf. At least he had accomplished to end the nightmare.

'Uhm. Sorry about that, I didn't …' Remus looked down, now really embarrassed.

'No, no. That's ok, Remus,' he cleared his throat again and went on in a hoarse voice. 'Who knows how the dream would have ended, that way it was at least shortened.' He let his head fall back into the cushion and hit it with his fist several times. 'Oh I am so fed up with this!' he mumbled, his voice muffled by the fabric, 'I'd wish it was already over.'

'Only one more day, Severus,' Remus tried to encourage him a bit helplessly.

'Yes, but what then? It will only be the beginning, won't it?' Severus looked up at Remus again, not hiding his desparation.

'You'll manage, Severus. You are strong.' Remus nodded to him.

Severus only shrugged his shoulders. Why on earth did everybody believe that he was strong? He had never been like that. His fault, clearly. If you play the tough guy all your life long …

'Remus?'

'Yes?'

'Next time you try to wake me up … Do me a favour and throw a soft cushion, will you?' Severus smiled weakly.

'Yes, sure. No problem.' Remus was still looking a bit embarrassed. Obviously glad to be able to end the conversation at that point, he went out of the room.

Severus took a gulp of water from the glass he had put on the table next to the bed. He did not expect and did not want to fall asleep again, if that would mean another unpleasant adventure in a forest or wherever these bloody nightmares send him. But he did and finally got some hours of dreamless sleep out of the night.

The next day was the last before the full moon. Although Severus hadn't had another disturbing dream and had slept through the rest of the night, he wasn't well rested. A leaden feeling of his body prevented him from getting up and made him wish he could stay in bed, wait until it was over, or as if it wouldn't happen to him if he just stayed in bed, hidden from the moon …

'Morning Severus. I tought you might like some breakfast, or, to be precise, you won't have a chance to say no if it is delivered to you in bed.'

Remus was standing in the doorway, smiling his typical winning Remus-smile, holding a tray on which some breakfast items could be seen.

'Breakfast in bed? I wasn't aware that this was a hotel.'

'Well…' Remus put the tray on the small table next to Severus' bed. 'Special service to special guests. Come, eat a bit. You will feel better tomorrow morning. It's no good to transform with your stomach completely empty. But you'll still have time. We will leave late in the afternoon.'

To please Remus and because it was a sensible thing to to, he ate two toasts and had some tea although he didn't feel a bit hungry.

It was similar at lunch time when Severus managed at least one of Remus' cheese and salad sandwiches and orange juice, although he was feeling sick already. The situation was becoming more and more uncomfortable. Not to be able to do anything, to be confined just to wait was unbearable for him.

In the early afternoon, it was becoming difficult to suppress the panic that was rising inside him, therefore he felt the need to talk to Remus, although he had rather not displayed his despair in such an open way.

'Remus, do you think it's safe if we go through London, I mean … if I leave the flat … what if something like this incident two days ago will happen again?'

'Don't worry, I don't think it will happen again.'

'How can you be sure about that?'

'Well, …I am not sure, I just hope … and you won't be alone this time. You should be safe. …. Uhm, Severus? There's something I have to tell you, it's …'

Suddenly the doorbell rang.

Remus sighed. 'That's what I was going to tell you. It'll be Harry. He'll accompany us to the Ministry. Wait a minute, I'm going to open the door first.' His face showed his bad conscience when he got up and went to the door.

'So you don't trust me, do you?' Severus complained indignantly when Remus returned to the kitchen with Harry behind him. 'Did you plan to bind me and drag me along should I freak out and refuse to come?' Somehow Severus had to admit that they were partly right with their strategy, but he was disappointed nevertheless. And he hated to be seen in this miserable state he was currently in by other people than his social worker.

'I never trust a new werewolf until I am sure that he or she will cope, Severus. That has nothing to do with your person specifically. It's just safer that way, especially if this fit should happen again. I should have told you earlier, I know,' Remus added guiltily and shrugged his shoulders.

'Right. It's about time. Have you got your things?' Harry ended the uncomfortable situation.

They got their small bags which didn't hold much because, as Remus had confirmed, things for changing were provided by the Ministry, and put their coats on. Naturally, they were clad in Muggle clothes, especially in this situation they didn't want to attract unnecessary attention.

Outside, Harry led them to the small park which was nearby and which Severus had come to know quite good during his time at Remus' place when he had gone there for walks.

'We'll walk through the park a bit to get some fresh air and when there are not too many Muggles around, we'll apparate to the Ministry,' Remus explained. 'To be on the safe side, I will apparate you, Severus. Sorry, no experiments today.'

'It's all right,' Severus groaned and thought that he could have done very well without that specific experience tonight.

'What's the problem?' Harry asked. 'I am sure Remus is expert enough not to splinch you.'

'It's not that, Harry. He's got …. apparating sickness.'

'Oh. Well, uhm … we can go by underground or take the bus if you like. There's still enough time,' Harry suggested.

Oh no. Severus just imagined having another attack in the middle of concerned Muggles. That would certainly be worse. Better being apparated by Remus. He hoped that it would be the last time. In the future he would be able and allowed to do it on his own again.

'No, it's ok. We can apparate,' he said without much enthusiasm.

Ten minutes later, Severus was leaning heavily against the phone box in front of the Ministry of Magic, emptying his stomach of the remains of his pitiyful meals he had managed to have during the day with so much difficulty. He was so shaky that despite the phone box, Remus had to hold and steady him in the process.

'Here, have some water.' Harry handed him a glass he had conjured a moment earlier.

'Thanks.'

Severus rinsed his mouth and emptied the glass afterwards. That helped to restore him, if you ignored the fact that his knees were still wobbly and his pulse was racing, which was not only caused by the apparating but rather the forthcoming event he was so much terrified of.

Seeing that Severus had recovered more or less, Remus took the lead again. 'All right, Severus? Can we go on? Then let's go inside.'

The three squeezed into the telephone box and Remus announced them through the receiver. They reached the entrance hall quickly. It wasn't as busy as Severus knew it when he normally came down here or left after work. But it was late afternoon and many employees had gone home already.

'Right, if you two don't mind, I'll be off. Shall I meet you tomorrow when Severus will be registrated?' Harry asked before they turned into the direction of the control desk.

'Well, it would be kind if you could manage. I think it won't do any harm if he'll have another person to give evidence for him,' Remus answered to Harry's offer.

'Ok. I'll be there around lunch, that'll give you enough time. See you.'

Harry left, giving them the impression that he was glad not to have to stay with them during the night. Severus gulped.

'Give evidence?' he gave his social worker a questioning look.

'To convince the jury that you are sensible enough to lead your future life according to the Code of Conduct for Werewolves, of course.'

'What if this "jury" doesn't approve?'

'That won't happen. The worst which can happen is, that you get some conditions to observe. Come now.' Remus took him at his arm.

'What conditions? Remus! Didn't you say once that it would be a routine thing, that registration?' He looked at him disbelievingly.

'Did I? Come, it's about time now.' He steered Severus, who wasn't sure if he could held his still rising panic at bay much longer, but was convinced that this new information Remus had given him didn't help in that respect, towards the control desk.

There they were confronted with an elderly, sour and disinterested looking wizard who didn't make any effort to hide his annoyance. Severus recognized him as a worker of one of the other registries he sometimes had to deliver files to. His demeanor clearly showed that he disapproved of his work, especially at that time of the day.

'Name!' he barked at Remus.

'Remus Lupin. Werewolf number fifty-seven. And this is Severus Snape, also here for the full moon check-in. He hasn't got a number yet, because he is a new one.'

'Evening, Mr. Hawker,' Severus said politely.

'Snape, eh? Having changed sides again, huh? Dreaming of getting a better post as a werewolf in this institution?'

Severus bit his lip and chose not to answer to this. He remembered that Hawker had never been very friendly to him, and why should he now? Although, Severus mused, as one working at the front desk, you would have expected a more service orientated person with more enthusiam towards customers, as they certainly both were, werewolves or not.

'Wands!' he demanded gruffly.

Remus produced his, but didn't hand it over. Instead, he showed the man his Ministry badge.

'Oh, I am sorry,' he smiled at the unfriendly man, trying a strategy of being overwhelmingly friendly to change other people's attitude if they weren't, 'I forgot to tell you that I am a Ministry employee. Therefore I can keep it, I think. I am a werewolf social worker, you know. And Mr. Snape here is an employee as well, without wand, though.'

That didn't impress their stubborn desk officer. Of course, he should have known anyway. There were several lists with names on it, one with "expected werewolves" written on top, and it was giving all the information the man would need, if he wanted it.

'Couldn't have told me earlier, huh?' he grumbled, leafing through his lists until he found their names and ticked them off. Severus could see his squib-number behind his name.

Remus, who must know the procedure, didn't wait for any more comments, and as they were so lucky not to have to rely on any further directions from this person, they passed his desk and headed for the elevator.

When the doors opened, they were confronted with a large poster which gave evidence of the Ministry's latest publicity campaign. Animatedly chatting witches and wizards with colourful robes and hats could be seen who could be identified as Ministry workers and employees by their badges. When the two werewolves stepped in, the persons on the poster didn't turn to look at the two passengers because they were too preoccupied. Straight across the poster was printed in bold flashing letters "Welcome to the Ministry of Magic! Our friendly staff will be delighted to help you with all great and small matters, just ask!"

'Better not,' Remus snorted.

Despite his miserable condition and because the behaviour of the desk officer had distracted him a bit, Severus managed a weak smile. Somebody had scribbled a comment on the side of the poster. It read: "Then why don't you let the staff use the elevator to read this?"

When they reached the dungeon-level and the doors opened, they could feel that the temperature had fallen by several degrees. Dungeon climate. Nothing new to Severus and somehow even a bit comforting, because he was so used to it.

They were in a part of the building where Severus had never been before (what reason should he have had to go near somewhere where werewolves were lodging once a month?) but which was very well known to Remus who walked quickly, not hesitating at the turns and crossings. There were no signs to show the way. To move around down here you either had to know your way very thoroughly or you needed to have a guide.

Glad to have a subject he could talk about, he asked Remus about this. 'I can't be the only one who isn't familiar with this part of the dungeons. Do others get a guide as well to find their way or do they let the werewolves run around here unguided and, what would strike me more: unguarded?'

'The new ones are collected by a social worker at the entrance, and if you've been here once, and … don't you smell it?' Remus suddenly asked and stopped abruptly, sniffing.

Severus imitated him. 'Yes, you're right. Smell's like … uhm well, when I was in the zoo, at the wolves' cage …'

'Severus, really!' Remus interrupted him indignantly. 'When did you do that? And what for?' he shook his head.

'I don't know. Perhaps to get used to them, not to see them in my nightmares if I'd already seen them at daylight?' Severus shrugged his shoulders. 'What did you expect me to say, huh? That it smells like family?'

Remus didn't answer but walked on, Severus following closely.

When they reached the actual werewolf dungeon, to Severus' surprise, it didn't seem that uninviting. For once, it didn't have the typical dungeon atmosphere most people would expect from such a place, like cold, damp, musty and dark. To the contrary: it was warm and dry, and torches were spending a warm light. The only thing which raised a uncomfortable feeling in Severus, was the fact that there were real cells with iron bars. The werewolf dungeon was simply a big hall with cells lined up along the walls with a long corridor in the middle. A prison. Worse, a prison were everybody could be seen by everybody.

'What? Don't you like our hotel?' Remus asked when Severus had stopped to look at the location.

'I hadn't expected it to be ….well, …open like that.'

'Oh, that. Now, you won't have the chance to watch the others, nor will they be able to see you during the transformation. The change usually takes place at the same moment, so don't worry. And as we will all be wearing the same stylish nightshirts, there is nothing really embarrassing about that.' He laughed.

'Hm.'

Remus marched in the direction of a witch who was sitting behind a desk at the beginning of the corridor, holding a clipboard. Next to heon a trestle, stood a cauldron with a lid. A door stood open to her right into a room where rows of lockers could be seen. As soon as she recognized Remus, she beamed at them.

'There! My favourite werewolf! And you've brought someone new, I see,' she greeted them. Quite a contrast to the sullen man they had experienced a few minutes ago. Here seemed to be a person who was actually glad to see werewolves.

She had short brown hair, blue eyes and an open friendly face. Her freckles and her laugh added to the amiable impression Severus got from her. Well, you could even call her attractive, he thought.

'Hi, Siona.' Remus smiled back. Severus wasn't quite sure, maybe it was the light down here, but he meant to see Remus blushing slightly.

'Alright then,' she looked in her list to find their names. 'Severus Snape, yes? And may I ask, what was your weight? Just in case we have to shoot you with a tranquilizer,' she added when Severus looked a bit confused. 'You know, we don't want to put you to sleep for ever accidentally with an overdose.'

Severus gulped, having a picture in his mind of several aurors, aiming with blowpipes at him. But before he could answer anything, she laughed rightout.

'Just joking. If need should be, you'd simply get stunned. Although that's not always the best method, as it can lead to heart failure. But it's the cheapest, that's for sure. The wolfsbane potion is expensive enough already.' She grinned at them, lifted the lid of the cauldron and began to fill two goblets with a ladle.

'Now, as you are new here, I am obliged to give you some directions,' she addressed Severus in a tone a bit more serious. 'First, you have to drink the wolfsbane potion at once, in my presence, so that I will be able to testify that you've really swallowed it. But mind, If you spill it, or you can't keep it, that is to say: if you throw up, you will have to pay for the second goblet yourself. And as a precaution, should that case happen, would you mind to step back a bit, because I don't want the mess all over my papers. When you have drunk it, you can go over to the lockers and get changed. You can choose a free locker without a number. As soon as you've been registered, you will have a personal locker with your werewolf registration number on it. Please leave all personal things in there, only wear the nightshirt and the socks. Your belongings will be safe, as nobody will be allowed to go into the locker room during the night, and it will be guarded while the werewolves have access now and in the morning. Any questions?'

'No. Thank you.'

'Good. Go ahead then.'

Severus gripped his goblet and, as being told, went a step back. He watched Remus drinking the potion Severus himself had brewed so many times for him. From his companion's complaints, he knew that the taste must be absolutely horrid. That was the reason why there was a lid on the cauldron. And the goblet Severus was holding was evaporating a foul stench which caused him to breathe through his mouth to prevent any uprising nausea beforehand.

Remus pinched his nose, closed his eyes and swallowed the potion as quickly as possible. He grimaced and breathed through his mouth afterwards to minimize the unavoidable effect of taste and smell. When he had done and placed the goblet back on Siona's desk, he looked at Severus expectantly.

He did as Remus had done. It was worse than he had expected. Absolutely disgusting. He had to fight hard to persuade his stomach to keep the stuff and not to throw up. Breathing through the mouth didn't help that much, really. He wasn't afraid of paying for a second or even a third goblet full, if need be. There was simply no way they would let you stay down here without having drunk the potion, that was for sure, but it wasn't his greatest fear (although he wouldn't dare to ask what would happen if you didn't manage to drink it). If there was something he was more afraid of than the transformation, it was to transform without the wolfsbane potion into a genuine rabid werewolf.

'Well done, Mr. Snape. Your first step on your way to a proper law-abiding werewolf,' Siona commented, after he had put his goblet back on her desk as well, and she signed after his name in the list. 'Now you sign.'

She turned the clipboard for them and they both signed in the last column which bore the title 'werewolf's signature'.

'A word, Siona,' Remus said in a low voice.

'Yes?'

'Tim hasn't shown up yet, has he?'

'No. I was already wondering. Why didn't you bring him? Did he run away again?'

'Yes,' Remus sighed. 'I didn't want to shut him in, you know.'

'No, of course not. He's old enough to know what he's doing, I hope so at least. But if he doesn't begin to show some responsible behaviour, I am afraid others will be doing that for him very soon.'

She looked at the door behind Remus and Severus, where the two had come in a few minutes ago. Three aurors in their gear and armed with crossbows had entered. Siona lowered her voice as she continued.

'Sorry about that Remus. I'll keep my eyes open, but as far as I know, they aren't after him yet. We can talk about a strategy tomorrow, all right?'

'Yes, I'll meet you in your office after Severus' registration which will not be before lunch.'

'Ok. A good night for you two then.' She nodded and gave them another encouraging smile.

'And you gentlemen, what can I do for you?' they heard her addressing the aurors as they went over to the locker room, 'they haven't all checked in yet.'

As they went, Severus saw that some cells were occupied already, and when they entered the changing room, they met another werewolf. A young tall man with brown hair he had bound into a ponytail. He was already dressed in a brown cotton nightshirt and gray woollen socks.

'Hi Remus. Bright and clear tonight, isn't it? I hate it when it's all cloudy and you cannot see the moon properly.'

'Evening, Nicolas. This is Severus Snape.'

'Hi.' He nodded in Severus direction. 'Well, I'm off. I'm a bit late, and I want to do an hour yoga at least.' He strode past them towards the corridor with the cells.

'Our tenor.' Remus smiled.

'What?'

'He's got a nice voice, as a werewolf I mean. But in his normal life he also sings in a choir. A Muggle choir. They don't know, of course. And he is very much into meditation.'

'I see.'

Remus went to his personal locker while Severus chose one without a number and they started to get changed. He thought that he would still need quite some time to get used to the fact that werewolves were normal people most of the time of their life, and not some strange freaks with a disease which wasn't controllable. Well, was it really? So much depended on the taking of the wolfsbane potion, and if the wolf didn't take it, there wasn't much left of the control, as he had already experienced painfully. But he was well aware that if he didn't accept lycanthropy as it was, he would never be able to lead a normal life again.

When they had finished, Remus showed Severus to a cell in the middle of the corridor. In the neighbouring cell there was a man with a young girl.

'Gregory Mc Pharson and his daughter Celia,' Remus introduced them. 'Make yourself comfortable, I have to talk to Siona once more.' He left the cell.

'Evening.' Severus greeted father and daughter. Another 'family case', he mused. He could only guess who had bitten whom.

The teenage girl approached the bars and smiled at Severus. 'Hi. New here or even new wolf?' She was skinny with short blonde hair.

'Yes. Is it that obvious, or do the London werewolves all know each other?'

'No, but Remus often takes new wolves into his cell. So you are either new in London, or a new wolf. First time, then?'

Severus only nodded.

'You seem to know everything here, have you been coming for a long time?' he asked, but only to be polite and getting the conversation going.

'As far as I remember, yes. We lived in the countryside, but when my mother had bitten us, my father and I moved to London. He thought it to be better. Although you are more under control here, you are also better cared for. Most werewolf social workers are quite nice, and he is always afraid, should something happen to him …'

Severus didn't dare to ask what had happened to her mother, because if she was still alive, she would be with them, wouldn't she?

'You don't care to tell me who has bitten you, do you?'

'No, I didn't recognize the person behind the wolf. It was in a wood and dark.'

'That's what everybody says. I don't believe you.' She looked seriously at him as if she was trying to read his thoughts. Automatically, Severus concentrated to prepare to occlude his mind from her, you never knew who was able to do Legilimency, but she didn't need to. Facts about werewolves were so widely known and obvious that you only had to guess.

'Well, it couldn't have been my mother, because they shot her after she had attacked us,' she informed him, her face motionless.

'I am sorry about that.'

'Never mind. I was three years old. I don't remember much.' She shrugged her shoulders and turned away from him to join her father who had watched them but hadn't said anything during their conversation and was now settling down on a mat.

Severus took a closer look at their own cell. It was simple but clean. On the floor in the middle there were two soft mats and blankets, near the entrance two bowls filled with water and at the back a kind of rectangular compartment which was railed in with low wooden planks and filled with sand. As there was nothing left to do for him, Severus chose one of the mats and sat down as well.

From this point, he was able to see most of the other cells. Many were occupied by now, mostly by two or three persons, men an women mixed. As with his neighbours, it seemed to be the policy to let families and friends stay together. He observed that some were very quiet, simply sitting on their mats, some busy with playing cards and talking, some lying under their blankets. Two young women opposite him were playing chess quietly. Another man on the very far end of the corridor was pacing restlessly to and fro. Severus could also locate Nicolas who was sitting on his mat in a yoga pose, eyes closed. Just as he began to ponder about the right way he should probably spend the last hour before the transformation, Remus came back.

'You can do what you like. I forgot to bring something, unfortunately. Maybe next time, we can play chess as well or you could bring something to read.'

Severus hadn't realized that there was quite a span of time to fill in before the transformation and hadn't thought of bringing anything, a book for example. But he doubted that he would be able to concentrate much at the moment anyway.

Remus bent down and patted him on the back.

'You'll manage, Severus, you'll see.'

'I don't doubt that, Remus. How can I, with so many confident werewolves around?' he smiled grimly at his companion.

'Right. I have always found it relaxing to lie down.' Doing as he had said, Remus made himself comfortable on the other mat, pulling a blanket close around him. 'But don't hesitate to ask me if you have any questions or want to talk, ok?'

'Yes, thanks.' Severus, believing in Remus as a good example, lay down as well.

Now, that he wasn't distracted by any activities, like changing clothes or talking, he was forced to concentrate just on his person. Thus, he could feel his heartbeat quickening every minute. This was obviously not a good means to spend the remaining time before the transformation, but he couldn't think of anything else. About what should he talk with Remus, then? Tell him that he was afraid? And then what? Remus knew that already. There was absuloutely nothing one could do to reduce Severus' fear. He could only lie and wait, trying not to listen to his heartbeat which by now was accompanied by a buzzing sound in his ears.

Severus shifted on his mat to get a better view on his inmates. That way he was able to watch the two chess playing women and Nicolas and could direct his attention a bit away from his own person. It helped a bit, but not much.

A few minutes later, Siona came down the corridor, accompanied by the three aurors they had seen earlier.

'Half an hour, guys! Doors will be closed now. Everything ok? Any problems?'

As nobody answered, the aurors directed their wands towards the locks of the cell doors and locked them magically. Then they went back to the entrance where Siona had her desk. Severus wasn't able to see them but they had obviously taken position there, because he could hear them speaking, although he wasn't able to understand what they were talking about.

'10 Minutes, approximately. A good night to you all,' Siona could be heard from the back.

The buzzing in his ears became louder. That loud, that he wasn't able to hear anything else, except his heartbeat. His hands became sweaty and he also felt beads of sweat running down his back and front. He clung with his hands to the mat, digging deep with his fingers into the fabric. He couldn't prevent his breath becoming quicker. Absolute panic overcame him, sheer terror made his body shiver. Then, he suddenly did hear something else: screaming. So the transformation had begun, at least for some of them, why didn't it happen to him? There wasn't any chance that…?

Then the pain hit with full force. He couldn't say if it was his screaming he heard. With a violence he hadn't known before, his body was twisted and pulled, he thought that every single bone in his body would break under the pressure. His spine seemed to bend unnaturally, the pain was unbearable, he began to see colours, more screaming, darkness.

Something or somebody was prodding him in the ribs. As he couldn't stand to be woken up like this at all, he tried to stop this impertinent person, but the only thing he managed was a loud deep growl.

Then he remembered. The transformation.

When Severus finally opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was the face of a big grey brown wolf who was standing over him, looking … well, if he could guess anything from the wolf's expression, … concerned. He seemed somehow familiar, and, anyway, a wolf looking like that could only be Remus Lupin.

While the two wolves were looking at each other, Severus suddenly realized that between his eyes was protruding a long black snout with a wet tip at the end. His nose. There was no doubt, the transformation had worked.

Remus started making small whining noises. It seemed to Severus that the other wanted to encourage him to do something. But what? What was he supposed to do now?

'What is it, Lupin? Is he all right?' came a voice from the corridor and another added 'Make him stand up and walk a bit, that we can see if he's all right!'

The aurors were standing outside the cell, holding clipboards and making notes. Siona was there as well.

What now? Wasn't it enough that he had transformed? Remus could have told him a bit more about what was expected from him in his wolf's form. Well, he could have asked him himself as Remus had offered before he had settled down on the mat. But as he could see that the aurors also had their crossbows ready at hand, he decided that it would be better to do as they demanded and tried to get up.

And that turned out to be difficult. He needed some time to get on all fours, staying like that seemed to be another problem. Severus was a bit astonished about that, because he had expected that the movement of the animal he had been forced to transform to, would come more natural. But he also knew that animagi had not only work hard to become an animal, they also had to train behaviour and movement. But he hadn't foreseen that it would be that difficult. He was even a bit disappointed, because unlike an animagus, he had been forced into the wolf's form and the least recompensation he had wished for was to be able to move like a real wolf and not like a little puppy who tried to walk the first time in his life.

Severus turned around carefully to get a full view of his body. Black. He was pitch black. He didn't know if that was rare, but he actually liked his colour. But what fascinated him even more, was the fact that he had an additional limb: a long, black bushy tail. He tried to move it and nearly lost his balance he had gained with so much difficulty.

He felt uncomfortable, to say the least. There he was standing, his legs wobbly, the aurors standing and watching him, everybody obviously expecting some performance from him. And now, Remus started to walk around him, sniffing him over. Well, canines did that, didn't they, but they also, … wait a minute, he wasn't going to let Remus sniff his rear, that was for sure. They weren't real animals after all, and they didn't have to pretend. He growled menacingly (at least something which came naturally to him) and sat down to prevent any further sniffing activities from his social worker. Remus stopped, but started prodding him again.

Severus, unnerved, growled, but gave in. He stood up again and tried a few steps. It worked. Slowly, but it worked. He even managed to pace the whole range of the cell twice. When he stopped to see any reactions from either Remus or the aurors, he saw Remus nodding appreciatingly. That, of course, didn't look very wolf-like, but as Severus had learned, there were werewolves who believed in really being a wolf and only showing the animal's proper behaviour, and those who didn't care about that, but focused more on the communication between wolves and non-wolves and behaved partly like humans in wolf's form.

'Well done!' Siona exclaimed.

Severus had already been wondering why she hadn't said anything so far. Clearly, she as well was controlled by the aurors and as a social worker stood under them in the Ministry's hierarchy.

'Right. And now some trot, please,' one of the aurors demanded.

Oh, he couldn't believe that! This wasn't a performance in a circus, was it?

'Please, what's that good for? He has shown us that he is all right already,' Siona protested. And Severus was sure that they only asked that of him to have some fun.

'We want to see some more of his coordination skills, that's all,' the other auror explained in a tone which made unmistakebly clear that there was no way out of this.

'You can have some of my coordination skills when I've transformed back,' Severus thought enraged and started to trot. It was a diagonal walk and if you concentrated and kept to this pattern, it wasn't too difficult. Especially if you were enraged, he found out. After a round in the cell he stopped in front of the aurors and looked at them, his eyes closed to slits which he was sure made him quite an angry werewolf. But he refrained from growling, to be on the safe side. At least, the aurors were the ones with the crossbows.

'All right. That's enough,' one of them said, yawning. He suddenly seemed to have lost interest in making harmless werewolves walk and trot at his will. But the other auror bent down to get a closer look to something he had detected. 'Mark on left forleg,' he murmed and scribbled something down. 'Enjoy yourself.' He gave the other cells and their inhabitants another quick look, made a last note and then both turned to leave.

Siona stayed behind for a second and winked at him. 'Very well done. And …' she gave him a broad grin 'very pretty coat you've got there.' Then she also left, waving her wand in the process, causing the torches to dim their light.

Mark? Severus looked down on his left leg. Indeed, there was a long white stripe of scar fur, shining boldly between all the black. But it was only a remembrance of the scar he had been carrying for the last three years, not the other mark which would have been quite embarrassing.

Now, as the aurors had gone, you could feel the atmosphere becoming more relaxed immediately. Some wolves marched to the sides of their cells to say hello to their neighbours in their animal form through the bars, some simply walked around or trotted, for what reason, Severus didn't know, some went to the their water bowls, others were still lying on their mats, sleeping or resting. He himself had no clue what to do. He would have to rely on Remus, wondering at the same time when the howling would begin.

And now, Severus had the chance to recognize the function of the sandpit, as Remus marched over there, stepped in and lifted his leg unceremoniously to urinate into the sand. Severus felt a certain need as well, but wasn't feeling too enthusiastic about it. To use a toilet that openly, … in front of women and children … well, this was their personal cell, wasn't it? It wasn't his fault, that they all could see each other through the bars and as he wouldn't be able to hold out until the morning anyway, he didn't really have a choice.

He stalked over to the said place after Remus had finished, stepped in and … right, this wasn't going to be easy. Walking and a bit of a trot on four legs he had already got used to, but standing on three, lifting one and … Now, if he wanted to avoid one thing, it was toppling over into the sand while peeing, that would be too embarrassing. After thinking a few seconds he found a solution he himself thought to be quite clever. He stepped nearer to the wall, lifted one of his hindlegs and put it against the wall. That way he wasn't in danger of neither falling over nor wetting himself.

Quite content with the result of this unusual exercise he had gotten through with some dignity at least, he left the wolf toilet and went back to Remus to watch him doing another thing which Severus thought would even be more complicated. Remus was standig at one of the bowls, lapping up water.

The first thought which came to his mind was, that is was quite thoughtful of the people who were responsible for the werewolf dungeon, to put water bowls for each werewolf in the cells. It was definitely nicer to have one's own fresh water and not to have to share it with another wolf, or, more precisely, drinking water where the other had already had his tongue in. Severus was very peculiar in that respect.

As he suddenly found that he was indeed thirsty, he walked over to the remainig bowl and dipped his nose into the water, tongue stuck out. That, of course, didn't work. He got water into his nose and had to sneeze heavily. Remus looked at him and bent down again as if to demonstrate how to do it properly. Severus watched him for a moment and tried again. Finally, he managed to lap enough water to quench his thirst but found it quite tiring and wondered at the same time how canines and their relatives were able to get their their daily amount of liquid by this technique.

After this experience, the next followed promptly. Severus noticed that the other werewolves he was able to see from his place seemed to gather in a way. Where there were more wolves in a cell, they sat side by side, all looking in the same direction, up at the wall. There, at the end of the corridor was a row of long narrow openings in the wall, directly placed high up where the wall met the ceiling, who let some dim light in. Severus hadn't even noticed these windows before, but if you watched closely, you could see some stars blinking in the sky. It was quite clear where the light came from. It was the planet they all were bound to by their fate, which they feared and hated but were at the same time drawn to.

Severus followed Remus, who had sat down in the middle of their cell already, automatically. He sat down two feet away from his social worker, waiting expectantly, ears pricked.

Suddenly, one single wolf began to howl. Another answered. For half a minute or so, they seemed to sing a duet. Then others followed. Severus was fascinated. This was …. yes, he could frankly say that he found it beautiful. It touched his heart. He was wondering… should he? He remembered what he had said to Remus some weeks ago: howling, like real animals. And if so?

And then, Remus joined in the chorus. Now, Severus couldn't hold back any longer. At first timidly, then a bit louder, more confident. He was howling! Severus Snape, the werewolf was howling in the Ministry's dungeon together with two dozen other wolves. He couldn't believe it. The tones he heard from the others and those he produced himself reverberated through his body down to his stomach. This felt good. It was easy, came naturally. He understood now, what Remus had wanted to express when he had tried to explain what the howling meant for the wolves. At least once a month you felt that you belonged somewhere and that there were others who felt the same. Family? He didn't know if he would call it that, but it felt definitely good.

After about half an hour, the howling ebbed away. One by one, the voices faded away. For some minutes there was absolute silence as if they were all waiting for an echo.

Then, everybody got up and went his or her own way. Some settled down on their mats and blankets at once, others went to their water bowls first, but in general, it looked as if the "party" was over now and everybody was on his way to bed.

Indeed, Severus found that the howling, not to forget the transformation itself, had been quite tiring. But it was a pleasant sort of tiredness which overcame him. He, too, drank a bit from his bowl before he went to his mat. There, sleepy and lost in thought, he trampled in small circles several times before he lay down. When he noticed this, he stopped, a bit startled, but then had to smile inwardly. So much for having everything under control due to the wolfsbane. Some things obviously did come naturally by instinct. This typical canine way to settle down, normally served to scare away vermin and other unbidden little guests from your bed in the open. But if it was also practiced by lap dogs on the sofa, why shouldn't it work for werewolves as well?

He threw a look at Remus who seemed to be sleeping already. Severus himself was so tired that he didn't have much time to muse about his newly gained experience as a werewolf or his condition in general. His last thought, though, before he fell asleep was, that the howling could be improved much if it was practiced in the open, somewhere with wood and hills. Definitely.