The Uncanny R-Man: The T-Shirt kind of was, but was it said I made up myself. Yeah you're right about Rogue and Logan has noticed I think it said so in the last chapter. Yeah Viper is plus given what X23 did to her she's pretty pissed.
Aaron: Glad you liked how the girls were bonding and Jamie and Rahne will get together later, and that you agree that Rogue and Gambit should take it slow. More Slayer in the future but no rescue for X23 I'm afraid at least not yet.
Mark C: Yep, telepaths stick together and Rogue is getting a handle on her powers and Remt and her will get closer later on. Yeah the sinister thing was a nice touch, Scott later and the creator of the character said she didn't have the metal skeleton and if you think about it, it makes sense. She was given the claws at like seven so if her bones were laced then her bones wouldn't grow and that not only would stunt her growth but could be fatal to her even with the healing factor.
morring star: I'm not sure about that.
Sparky Genocide: Glad you feel the pace is right with the Rogue/Remy stuff and Slayer is a character that stays in the shadows as it were, but why you've done the same in your fics all the time with not introducing characters who just show up.
coldqueen: No, Slayer isn't from the future.
Doza: You'll see how Logan deals with it in this chapter and as for X23 in a few more chapters they'll meet up with her again.
GothikStrawberry: Well Slayer doesn't know everything and there are still things that go on that he doesn't know. Glad you liked the girl talk and that Jamie has a crush on Rahne and if you think Viper is evil wait until you see Sinister in this one.
Thanks to: X00001, Simba317, Wen1, LadyDeathStrike1, Silver Warrior, KSimonT-X
Hellfire and BrimstoneCHAPTER 35: MEDICAL EXAMS
Logan's Room
Upon the departure of the strange mutant warrior they knew only as Slayer, Logan was left with a new wave of confusion and uncertainty. That name he had said to him…That name that he had called him just before he disappeared as mysteriously as he had arrived…It meant something to him. James Howlett…He knew that name…He knew it, but he didn't know why.
After the commotion died down upon Slayer's departure, Ororo tried to console him in his new state of confusion, but Logan soon found himself unable stay…For he needed to process this. And because of that, he ran out of the room before anybody could say anything and retreated to his bedroom where he sequestered himself once again.
As he now lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling wide awake despite the hour…The former living weapon could feel many things going through his head now as a result of hearing that name. As he had when he first smelled the cherry blossoms that triggered his memories of Yuriko, hearing that name had triggered a fury of new fuzzy memories that seemed to play out in his mind whether he wanted to see them or not. Part of him wanted to probe deep into this large, shady area of his life that had been erased by Weapon X…But for some reason he could not explain, another part of him was trying hard not to.
The memories weren't as intense or as painful as the ones from Yuriko, but they were ever bit as confusing. Logan tried to close his eyes and either shut them out or make sense of them…But no matter what he did, he couldn't escape their presence in his mind as it played over once again in his fragile mind.
Outside a temple underneath the cool shade of picturesque cherry blossoms that seemed to be in full bloom, Logan and the beautiful Japanese woman known as Yuriko walked in a serine, peaceful bliss. Yuriko's arms were enlaced with his as she smiled at the strong, burly Canadian as he looked around at the wonderful scene that nature had offered them while enjoying the sense of comfort that being in Yuriko's presence gave him.
"Is something on your mind Logan-san?" asked Yuriko as she saw the dazed look on his face.
"Nah…Just thinking," he answered as he kept his focus on the picturesque cherry blossoms that fell from the gentle wind.
"Well if you're thinking, then by definition…Is it not true that something has to be on your mind?" said Yuriko with a grin, knowing Logan well enough to understand when something was bothering him.
Logan simply chuckled and grinned at the all too sharp woman that walked beside him.
"Ya got me there darlin'," he admitted as they both stopped walking under the shade of the cherry blossoms and simply took in the scenery around them.
"Well…Care to tell me about it?" she said as she moved in closer to his warmth, gently running her hands through his burly facial hair.
"It's just that…" began Logan as he let out a deep sigh, "Being in a place like this…And being here with you has just…It's given me a lot to think about…And a hell of a lot to be thankful for. You know better than anybody else how I was when I first got here…"
"Yes…And look at you now," she said with a warm smile, "You're strong, centered, and a true embodiment of that which is noble."
"But even if I'm like that now…I can't stop thinking about all the things that led me here," he said, taking some comfort in her words, "I mean…I can barely decide on what to call myself at times. Should I hold onto the past and be James again? Or should I keep going with the new beginnings I've experienced as Logan?"
The confused Canadian man could see a great deal of compassion and understanding in the eyes of the beautiful Japanese woman beside him. She placed her hand over his heart as his arms soon enraptured her in his strong, secure hold. He held onto her tightly, as if to hold onto all that kept him sane and Yuriko could clearly feel this tension within him as she once again used the heart she had so earnestly given him to sooth his troubled spirit.
"I don't think I can tell you who you are…" she said softly as she sank into the burly man's arms, "For me…It doesn't matter whether you're Logan or James Howlett…You are still the same man. Names are only a part of the surface of our spirits…Call it by any other name and it will not take away from that which it truly is. And I know you Logan-san…I know that you have a spirit to be proud of. You cannot escape that which you regret in the past…Under any other name, it would not matter otherwise. All that truly matters is that you hold onto the spirit and heart for which you have become the man you are…Not just from here, but from everywhere you've been."
"But then…How do I keep that past part of myself from corrupting me any more than it already has?" asked Logan, still full of uncertainty.
"Oh Logan…" she said as she looked back up at him with a warm smile, "Everyone is corrupted in some way or another whether it be past or present. You are only as corrupt as you allow yourself to be. Only through finding that inner peace that all life experiences with the simplicity of mere consciousness can anybody truly see themselves clearly. You only feel corrupted by it because you allow it. And it is not corruption that you should dwell on…It is that which your past has taught you that matters. Everybody has regrets…Some more than others…But as long as you remember who you are and take comfort in the peace that you have found in places just like this on…It does not matter whether or not you are James or Logan…For you are still the man I love."
Logan had always felt a unique euphoria of peace whenever Yuriko seemed to take his complicated issues and bring them into a simpler, easier form for him to deal with. The love she gave him and the compassion she offered was many times stronger than any of the emotions that had hindered and tortured him in the past. Even if he still couldn't make sense out of who he was…Whether he was Logan or James…He felt he had all he needed in his arms right now to remember the man he was at heart.
"You always seem to know exactly what to say darlin'," said Logan softly as he ran his finger down the side of her beautiful face, "I don't know what I'd do without you…"
"Then let us hope that we do not ever have to find out," she said as their faces drifted closer and closer to one another and met in a deep kiss as a the cherry blossoms continued to flutter peacefully in the wind around them
The memory stopped for Logan right then and there as he remembered once again the harsh reality of the past that he once had. Memories such as those were hard to think about, for they only reminded him of how bad things had turned out with Yuriko. She knew who he was back then…Better than he knew himself. Now, he was stuck in that same situation…This time without guidance or assurance from somebody like her.
Every time he thought of her he felt both anger and remorse…For that woman was truly dead now and only Deathstrike remained. The woman who once offered him such comfort and bliss now sought to see him die a slow, painful death. Slayer had told him that she was still alive…And he knew full well that as long as she was still breathing, she would never stop until he was dead. It left him at a crossroads now, for she seemed like the only one who knew him as both Logan and James Howlett…And now, he was left alone and confused once again about something he could not fully grasp in his fragile mind.
Just then, he heard a knock on the door. He had been distracted, but he knew from the unique scent exactly who it was…Ororo. Her scent caused his heart rate to go up and his anxiety to build, for memories of love turned hate with Yuriko still hung strong…Yet he could not escape what he felt for the weather goddess.
"Logan…Logan are you okay?" she asked, her gentle tone wrought with concern.
Logan didn't respond, he simply stayed motionless in his bed.
"Please Logan…Don't do this to me," she said, in a voice choked by emotion, "I can't bear it again…Please."
Logan was forced to swallow the thick lump in his throat, hating himself for making her feel this way. She didn't deserve it…She didn't deserve any of it, yet because of her feelings for him, she could not escape it.
"Logan…I'm coming in," she finally said.
Normally, Logan would have been angry towards anybody who dared to open his door when he was in a state like this…But this time, he had no such feelings, for he had no desire to stop her and knowing Ororo…He couldn't if he tried.
Slowly, she opened the door into the darkened room, entering with an anxious look upon her face as she slowly made her way towards the distraught man on the bed. She closed the door securely behind her as she found herself sitting on the side of his bed, taking in the look of confusion on his distraught face.
"Please Logan…Talk to me," she said with tears in her eyes as she slowly placed her warm, comforting hand on Logan's shoulder.
The former living weapon could not ignore her presence beside him as his gaze finally shifted to the teary blue eyes looking down upon him. Seeing her in such a state tore him up even more, but the compassion in her eyes was undeniable as he soon found himself sitting back up again, allowing Ororo to take her place next to him as she so sorely wanted during this time of great turmoil for him.
"James Howlett…Is a name I know all too well," he said in a low, mumble that mixed with his gruff tone.
"Who is he?" asked Ororo, eager yet also anxious to hear the answer.
Logan then turned to face her, giving her a full, unabated view of his tortured expression.
"He's me Ro…" he said, this time with little uncertainty, "James Howlett is me…I don't know how I know…But I do."
"He's you…" she said as she moved in closer to him, lending him what warmth she could.
"All the gaps in my memory…All the nightmares and uncertainty…It's always divided me into two people," he said, trying to find the right words, "On one hand…There are the memories of Logan. He's the man who fought in World War II…He's the man the Prof found and helped him develop into the man I am now. James Howlett…Is someone I both know and don't know at the same time. He…I know I once went by that name. I remember how…Yuriko used to call me by that name sometimes. And every time I hear it…The only thing I ever feel from it is loss…Remorse…And self-loathing."
"Logan…" said the former weather goddess as she slowly wrapped her arms around him and hugged him closer to her, an act which he did not fight, "I can't imagine how you must feel. I know how difficult it was when you…When you first remembered those things about your life that you'd much rather forget now. And I know this must be just as difficult…If not more so."
"It is…" he affirmed with bitterness in his tone, "It is worse Ro. For so many years I've been tryin' to find my past…But every time I learn something, I find out it's a memory I'd rather forget! And now that I know I'm this James Howlett guy…I don't know if I can take any more."
"Shh…It's alright Logan," said Ororo as he heard him begin to get worked up, "I'm sorry you have to feel such pain and turmoil because of things you had no control over. But no matter what memories you recall or how bad they are…You can't forget the man you still are. No matter where you've come from…Whether you're James or Logan…You're still the same man at heart…And nobody can ever take that away from you."
Logan, despite his own self loathing, found himself clinging hard to the beautiful African woman sitting by his side. He never thought he'd ever let anybody in like this…Not after what he learned about Yuriko…Yet here he was. Ororo was giving him something that he needed more than anything right now…Something to hold onto. And the more he clung to her, the more she held him even though this was his problem…His inner turmoil. Yet despite this, Ororo was still determined to be there for him and help him through this and for that, Logan could find no words to describe what he felt now in this mixed state of anxiety and comfort.
"I'm sorry Ro…" he said as his voice sank into a pit of despair, "I'm so sorry…You don't deserve this. You don't deserve to have to deal with any of this shit."
"Logan…Please," she said as she forced him to look her in the eye once more, "I'm here for you…I want to help you. You can't expect me to leave someone I care about so much in such a state. And like it or not…I care about you…And I want to help you. I…I know I may not ever be able to relate to what you're going through…But I want to be there for you."
Logan didn't say anything in response, for he could not find the words. Instead, he found himself drifting closer towards the weather goddess once again as they both met in a deep kiss. Logan's fragile mind still could not digest how someone like her would have deep feelings for or want to help a monster like him. Yet through the tenderness of her words and the softness of her kiss, she made it clear that she had no intention of letting him suffer through this on his own. She offered a feeling of gentleness and understanding that few others could with both her words…And her tender actions that he so deeply relished in. It may not have given him all the answers…But it gave him something much greater…Comfort.
-Vincent's Room-
Emma collapsed on top of Vincent sweaty, panting, and of course…Naked. It was late that night and both of them had finished up on a date and they had gone to his room where they had just finished another round of passionate sex for the third time that night.
"Oh god…I…Don't think I can do another…At least for a bit," she said panting, relaxing herself on his body and feeling the pleasure run through her. She felt his arm enfold her and one hand slightly caressing her back…God how she loved that feeling. It just showed her how much he truly cared for her with just a simple gesture since her family wasn't big on displays of emotion.
Vince himself was tried. He didn't know that going for that long or that many times was even possible, but she had this way about her that seemed to push beyond normal limits and he felt truly lucky to have her. He had joked that she must have been trying to see if they could set a record earlier and she just grinned at him, telling him that she was just seeing what their limits were. He had to admit, having a girl with no sexual hang ups was interesting to say the least.
He knew that her birthday was next month and was already planning things out, but luckily this link they were forming didn't allow full access to his mind so he could still save the surprise. But there was one thing that still bothered him. For all the sex they had been having, they were still doing it without any precautions and this time, he was determined to get some answers out of her.
"Emma?" He said softly, but she only moaned as she snuggled up against him, "We need to talk."
She sighed and rolled off him laying on her side facing away from him as she gathered some of the bed sheets to her, "If this is about the whole safe sex thing, then forget it…We don't have to worry about that," she said in a strange cold voice that he knew she used when she didn't want to show her emotions.
He didn't give up as he turned on his side and wrapped an arm around her, "Talk to me Emma…Please. What's going on?"
She closed her eyes and she knew she should tell him…She just hoped that he wasn't too crushed, "Tell me…Do you see us with a family one day? With children?"
"Actually…And I know this sounds strange, but yes…I can. I know you're the one for me Emma. You're the part of my soul that was always missing and I didn't even know it until you came into my life."
She wished he wouldn't say such things, for she felt the same way, and this only made it harder for her, "I…I don't think I can have children."
That surprised him and he was silent for a moment, thinking about what she had just said, "Wait…You said think, not know…You mean you don't know for sure?"
She couldn't look him in the face, for she was too ashamed of her past to say her fears to him and look into his beautiful blue eyes, "You know what happened to me…Ever since I was sixteen, I've been either raped or I used my body to get me what I want or need. That's three years of sex and not once did I ever get pregnant…Doesn't that seem odd to you?"
He thought about that, and it had never occurred to him. He knew that she had to have done things to survive and he accepted all that, "But you never checked for sure, did you?"
"No."
"So…How do you know. I mean yes…It's odd, but maybe you've just been lucky about that."
She sighed again, not sure what he wanted to hear. True, the fact that she may never have kids was something that many women didn't like to think of. It was biological and part of everyone's deep psyche and she didn't want children at this point in her life, but she did want them at some point. But the truth was that she would only want to have his since he was the one for her…The true love of her life, something she never believed she would find.
But she was afraid…For she knew that he wanted a family and what would he do if she couldn't give him one? Would that be it for them? That's what truly terrified her.
Vince hugged her closer as if he knew what she was thinking and she guessed he might now, "I'll always be here for you, I would never leave you for something like that. Besides, you don't know for sure anyways and it doesn't matter to me."
She turned around and hugged him close burying her face in his chest. She was glad that he was so understanding and that he would always be there. She had been so alone in her life and having him made that gaping pain in her go away.
The next morning was the usual…Danger Room training and Emma getting to know the others a bit better, but she had one other thing on her mind that day. She was thinking on how she didn't know for a fact if she could have kids or not and she was heading to the labs to see if Hank knew anything about that. If not, she could always see someone in New York since she didn't want anyone to know about this.
She walked in down the halls, her high heel shoes echoing the metal corridors. She opened the lab door and peeked in.
"Hello? Hank, are you in?" she asked walking into the medical lab that he was usually found in. He was still working on Rogue's powers, trying to understand it. She looked around and heard a door open, but who came out was the one person she had been avoiding for quite awhile now…Sage.
"Oh, Emma…" she was surprised to see her in here. She had been just helping Hank out in the lab and put down a tray of equipment. Emma just looked at her and turned around and started to walk out not saying anything. It wasn't like Sage could blame her, since they hadn't said a word to each other since they both got here, but Sage knew they had to talk sooner or later and she decided on doing it now.
"Emma stop…We need to talk."
"There's nothing to talk about," Emma said, for she still didn't even want to be in the same room as this woman. After all that happened to her and the others…She had just stood by and watched. While it was thanks to her that they were all free, but if she had acted sooner then none of them would have suffered. Rogue and Jean wouldn't be going through this, and she wouldn't have had to watch Vincent be tortured for nearly two weeks and she…She could have escaped the first time if it hadn't been for her.
Sage knew that Emma was still angry with her…It didn't take telepathy to know that, but in a way she couldn't blame her. She had to stand by and watch many horrible things and not just with the girls or Vince…She had seen others tortured, others killed, and she herself had to do some rather distasteful things. It had been part of the job and she had known going in that it would have been her toughest assignment, but she had to use every once of inner strength just to get through certain days and keep the impersonal mask of Tessa on her face at all times.
"Look…I didn't like having to watch any of you go through what you went through, but…" Sage began, but Emma cut her off.
"But you didn't help any either! You let Selene torture Vincent, and also did the same to me and Rogue, who also had us raped! Have you even looked in Rogue's eyes since you came here? Or Jean's? Can you honestly look them in the eye after what you did!" Emma felt a cold anger inside of her, letting all of this out for the first time. "You knew what was happening and yet…You did nothing."
"Because I couldn't!" Sage said, only she wasn't sure if she was trying to convince Emma…Or herself. "I had to bring them down to destroy them…You know better then anyone how they were and the Hellfire Club needed to be brought down!"
Emma did know that, for that group had been evil in a way she had never known and to be honest, she was glad when that building fell and they were gone. She had been so relieved to have that nightmare end, and yet she still held a deep resentment to the older pale woman for having waited so long before she acted.
She put some of the coldness out of her voice, but still didn't turn around to face her, "Sage…I can understand why you did what you did…I know it couldn't have been easy…But whether or not I can ever forgive you for standing by for so long and doing nothing…I really don't know." She walked out of the room thinking of going somewhere to be alone for a moment. She needed air and to clear her head. For so long she had hated every member of the Hellfire Club and as Tessa, Emma had a lot of old hatred left in her for that woman. But it was tough letting all of that go for Sage.
Emma walked on knowing that she should try to get over her feelings about Sage, but it was a hard thing to do when a person you thought of as an enemy for so long wasn't anymore. She figured she could test herself out later in the city anyways. But right now, she needed to cool off and think on other things.
Sage, however, was left alone in the lab and sat down looking at her hands. She knew Emma had a point and truth was she didn't sleep easy at nights knowing the things she had and hadn't done. In fact, it was years before she had a decent sleep and she had used sleeping pills to help, even taking them to this day. It kept the dreams away since she never had any good dreams to begin with…In fact, she hadn't had any good dreams in so long she couldn't remember the last of the good one she had.
She tried to put her emotions back into that box in her mind, for she didn't want to feel anymore of this sorrow at the moment. She wanted to go back to the old emotionless 'Tessa,' since all she could feel now was a dark, brooding, despair welling up inside of her. It was times like this she was envious of her 'Tassa' persona…At least 'she' never had to deal with such things.
Xavier's Office
After the departure of Slayer and the subsequent confusion that followed, the next afternoon Professor Charles Xavier once again found himself forgoing the increasing level of fatigue in his crippled body and dedicating himself to learning as much as he could about this coming darkness that the mutant warrior had so gravely warned them about. With the old, worn book he had given him still in hand, both he and Hank were now pouring over it, seeking answers to the questions that they could only begin to understand.
Hank was beginning to get worried that the Professor was getting too engrossed by this book and this darkness, for he was not showing any signs of stopping or hinting at any desire to rest. The book was very hard to ascertain because of its age and its complex Latin content. With torn pages and cryptic messages, some parts were all but impossible to decipher, but that did not stop Xavier in the slightest as he now felt a new drive as a result of learning that the Hellfire Club was back.
"Charles…I've taken my share of Latin throughout my education, but I'm certain that this book's complexity would make Caesar himself cringe," commented Beast as he let out a deep sigh and stretched his muscular, gorilla-like arms, "It's almost as if this book was written in a purposefully difficult manner to thwart anybody from understanding it."
"I most certainly wouldn't doubt that old friend," said Xavier, who was beginning to develop dark circles under his eyes due to the late hour and his lack of sleep over the past few days, "It speaks in a sort of poetic metaphor that we can only speculate over…But I know that Slayer would not have given me this book without a good reason and if there is something in this text that could stave off whatever this darkness is that he keeps speaking of, then it's up to us to find it."
"So you're saying that you fully believe this strange warrior fellow that nobody seems to know very well?" asked Hank, still reeling from the mysterious man that had entered their presence completely undetected despite Logan's powerful senses and the Professor's telepathy.
"After reading some of the things in this book…Yes, I'm beginning to believe," he said with more affirmation in his tone, "And hearing about the Hellfire Club makes this situation all the more disconcerting. I may not know very well who exactly this Slayer fellow is, but he certainly doesn't seem to be a threat to us…I believe he is genuinely trying to help us."
"And how can we be sure?" asked Beast, feeling as though it would be in their best interests if they didn't rule out certain possibilities.
"I…Can't say for certain Hank…I couldn't sense anything from his mind," conceded Xavier, "But I just…I have a feeling that if he wanted to bring us harm, he would have done so by now. And if he did have ulterior motives…I don't think he would have given me this book. He's shown us that he means us no harm…So for now, I think he deserves at least some trust on our part. Because if any part of what he says is true about this coming darkness, the Hellfire Club, or this Gates of Hell that the book keeps speaking of…Then we must do all we can stop it."
Xavier then went back to going over the text in the book, but Hank felt he was in desperate need of a break. He wanted to convince Xavier to do the same, but something told him that there was little he could do to dissuade him in his current state. With a defeated sigh, Hank was about to shake off his current state of mind and return to helping Xavier with the book…When suddenly, they both heard the door open and saw Sage look in with a rather distraught look on her face.
"Oh…Sorry," she said in a low monotone that seemed some what uncharacteristic of her usual voice, "I forgot you were busy Professor. I'll…Come back later."
Before either of the two men could respond, Sage began to close the door and walk off. However, Hank quickly shot up from his seat, knowing just as well as Xavier, telepathy or not, that something was bothering her.
"Sage…Wait!" he urged, but it was too late for him to stop her as she closed the door and made her way back down the empty hall.
Hank quickly followed, turning back to Xavier and saying, "I'll be back a little later Charles…I should most definitely address this." And before the Professor could respond, he was already gone…Although he remained fixated on the now shut door that Hank had just rushed through to catch up to the retreating young woman with a peculiar look in his eye. While Professor Xavier may have been curious, he had a rather strong feeling that Hank knew what he was doing…For reasons he probably shouldn't get into if what he sensed from his mind was any indication.
Out in the hall, Sage was walking at a slow, solemn pace, feeling as though she had definitely had better days. After what happened with Emma, much of her guilt over what had happened with the Hellfire Club caught up to her in a way she had been trying very hard to suppress for so long now. Images and memories of some of the things she saw…The torture…The brutal rapes…The tears…They all hung strong in her mind and ate at her soul in a way she could only begin to describe. It was so hard to take…Living with such guilt. It hurt…Knowing she couldn't undo the horrible things that she had done. It brought so much sorrow…So much conflict…And it looked as though there was no end in sight for her.
Then, while lost in her thoughts, Hank's voice rang out in the halls and quickly caught her attention.
"Sage! Sage wait!" he urged as she stopped cold in her tracks and watched Hank catch up to her.
As the big blue mutant got closer, he saw the look of true turmoil in her face. There were hints of tears forming in her eyes…Something he knew was very rare for a former SHIELD agent. But that only made him feel more troubled as he looked back at her with great concern in his eyes.
"Sage my dear…What's wrong? You look very troubled."
"It's…Complicated, Hank," she said in response, doing a poor job of hiding the distraught feeling in her tone, "I don't want to pester you or Charles with it…"
She turned to walk away, but Hank quickly stopped her as his strong, ape-like hand gently grabbed her shoulder and turned her back towards the man stuck in a beast's body.
"Nonsense Sage…We're your friends," he said with compassion in his voice, "And friends don't let other friends walk around feeling lower than the winter temperatures of the arctic."
Sage wanted to walk away, but in the presence of this man, she found herself unable to as she let out a deep sigh.
"Now tell me…What's wrong?"
As much as Sage didn't want to remember it, she found herself once again going over the grim details about what happened with her and Emma. She had to stop a few times, but she managed to move on as Hank listened intently, trying hard to keep his reactions at bay until she finished. The look on his face, however, gave such feelings away as he kept his hand upon her, which helped give her the strength to go over it again despite her intense feelings of remorse and guilt.
"And I guess…I guess Emma is right in many ways," she finally said in a deep, remorseful tone, "She and all the others have every right to hate me. I was there Hank…I watched Selene and the Hellfire Club torture and rape them without compassion. I watched them do so many horrible things…I saw the look on their faces, the tears in their eyes, and heard their cries, I saw others too and I had to do some…Distasteful things as well. And no matter what I do…I can never forget them…Even if it was because of me we all survived…I can never forget what I have experienced."
A tear escaped from her eye, trickling slowly down the side of her face…One which Hank softly wiped away with his gentle touch. Hearing her words of sorrow and guilt were difficult for him, for he had come to know Sage very well through their long, drawn out conversations that often caused them both to lose track of time. And in reality…He was becoming very fond of her in more ways than just friendship. She was one of the few women who looked at him and didn't just see the big hairy beast that caused so many others to cringe and cower. In fact…She looked at his appearance and found it unique, enticing…And yes, attractive as well.
Now, this was a time when she needed somebody to help her through this and after what she had given him thus far, Hank felt it was his duty to return the favor.
"All memories are but a mere part of our experience Sage…Believe me, we all harbor ones that evoke such strong regret," he said in a comforting tone.
"Not like these…" said Sage, looking away briefly before Beast managed to draw her attention once again with the concerned look on his face.
"Be that as it may Sage…You cannot let them overtake you like this," said Hank with a subtle urging in his tone, "You have so much strength within you…Strength that allowed you to survive something that few people could. Yet you stand here before me as strong and alive as ever. Memories may bring sorrow, but memories don't determine who you are."
There was a brief silence between them as Hank gave her time to process his words through her computer-like brain. There were some things that he knew went beyond mere data…Things that were too difficult for even the most powerful computations to process. Sage may have been so cold and heartless as Tessa when she was with the Hellfire Club, but in getting to know her so well, Hank McCoy knew she was so much more than that.
"I've come to know you Sage…" he continued, not letting up with the soothing tone in his voice, "I've come to know the true person you are through the memories which lie only upon the surface. And in a ways…It's not all that different than myself. This body…This fur…They are like the memories that garner such sadness and despair. I know they most certainly do for me at times. But you see beyond the body and beyond the fur…In the same ways as I see through the memories that lie only upon the surface. As much as they are a part of us…We can never forget that they are only superficial aspects. And like me, I don't want you to fall victim to the despair that comes from simply looking on the surface and not a millimeter deeper."
It was a strange way as to how Hank related his problems to her. She may not have had his looks, but she did have something else on the surface that was just as profound. Memories…Fur…They were only the superficial aspects. She had not seen it like that…Thinking memories made a person who they were when in reality, it was the experience as a whole. After being alone and being someone who she wasn't for so long now…It was an unfamiliar feeling to have people like Hank, the Professor, or Ororo in her life again, willing to help her as any other friend. Yet the more she experienced it…The more profound it was for her and Hank helped to remind her of that.
"But…What about Emma, Rogue, Vincent, and…" however, Hank didn't let them finish.
"Trauma is a hard thing to get past Sage," he said with hope in his tone, "They have all suffered…And because of that, certain things will cloud their minds for a very long while. But given time…And faith…I'm sure they'll come to see in you that which I have. And until then…You must simply have faith that the lives things will…As so many things do…Change and grow with time."
Upon hearing the ape-like man's words, Sage actually managed a smile…One that helped Hank to smile back as she held his large hand with hers, feeling as though she may have something to have faith in after all. And as bad as past memories were…That didn't mean she could make new ones right here with the institute, the X-men, and Hank.
"Come Sage…Why don't we both get a little late night tea?" he said, warmed by her smile.
"I'd like that," she said as she gave him a simple peck on the cheek, causing him to blush profusely, "Lead the way handsome…"
-Miles away underground-
Viper walked through the corridors of the underground base that Sinister had moved to out of the mansion with the other Hellfire Club members. And that was just fine with her since that Selene woman made even her skin crawl. The corridors were smooth and metallic and everything was hospital caliber clean. She had decided to visit Sinister in his lab and get an update on X23. So far, they had kept her drugged the entire time and her body was healed enough for whatever he had planned.
She owed Sinister since it was because of him that could walk again and the fact that he had modified her body through genetic manipulation had made her stronger, faster, and better then she had ever been before. Taking X23 back and placing her under control was just a bonus to her. She touched the control pad on the wall the large metallic doors opened silently as she walked into his lab. She hated this place, it was filled with equipment that was all either state of the art or way beyond what she knew should have been possible.
There were tanks filled with liquids along with bodies or organic parts…And some of the bodies looked like they had been experimented on to some degree and there were metal containers with a small glass window with things in there that looked like monstrosities from a horror film. The place smelt like a hospital with sterilized air. She heard wet sounds and talking and came upon Sinister operating on a body of a slightly pale skinned mutant with messy hair light brown hair and yellowy eyes staring up as his thin frail looking body was strapped down onto the table.
She could see the chest was open and his hands had blood on them as he was doing something with the body. She could also hear him as he made a verbal record of it, seeing video equipment documenting it all too.
"Subject number 29837-45 seems to have special glades important for his mutations. His skin makes a residue…A strong set of scent glands from the look of it. His muscles are slim and more compact for speed and agility, but his legs are even more so. Attempts to make his other muscles like his legs have failed and because the subject has below average immune system and healing abilities, it has made his body reject the modifications, causing it to break down."
Viper watched on as he worked with the skill of a great surgeon and stepped closer and looked at the face of the dead mutant. The head was held in place with tubes going into the body and something attached to the head that looked like it went into the skull. Then…She saw the eyes move and look at her and blink. Quickly, she stepped back, her eyes wide with shock, "He's alive?"
Sinister had heard her come in, but chose to ignore her. His work was more important at the moment. But her shouting was a distraction and that greatly annoyed him, "Yes he is. But I'm not a sadist, that device going into his brain is controlling certain functions. I assure you, he feels nothing at all…No pain or what I'm doing to him. Besides, he's dying anyway and I need to see how his body is rejecting the modifications as it deteriorates."
Viper had never seem something like this. Sure she didn't care, but the way he carried on like this was just a high school science project was a bit disturbing. "Is he aware?"
"Yes he is, but the drugs pumping into him keep him immobile and in a constant state of euphoria. I can't have him freaking out on me and going into shock and that would only cause his body to haemorrhage, ruining my data in the process."
He talked like this was just something to do and to him it was. He had done so many of these experiments and examinations that they were like second nature to him. He was disappointed that his attempts had failed in this one, but for every failure he gained knowledge and furthered his research. To him, ignorance didn't make good science and science was what he was about. And ultimately…Knowledge was true power.
Viper saw instruments reading his bio signs and noticed the sounds were off too. "Anyways, the girl is ready for you."
"Good, this shouldn't take long. His vitals are crashing as his body is rejecting the modifications. Too bad he wasn't in better health, otherwise he might have survived and been stronger from it," said Sinister, as he finished up his examination, "Subject is showing signs of degradation and his organs are shutting down." The monitors showed that he was now flat lining, but he was still viewing it with his cold emotionless detachment.
"Subject's heart is failing as it breaks down and is in full cardiac arrest." The monitors then showed all other organs failing and then the breathing stopped as did the heart. "Subject's life signs have terminated after ten hours and twenty five minutes after Phase Three modifications."
Sinister pulled his hands out and walked over to a metal sink and washed his hands off in the warm water. "Oh well, you can't make an omelette without braking a few eggs."
"That seems a bit…Cold for a scientist," Viper observed, although she wished more of her scientists had been like him…Not like that fool, Dr. Deborah Risman that created X23.
"Well the Nazis did many experiments like that," he said as he tilted his head to the young mutant corpse, "And they did all kinds of inhuman experiments on the people they had in their camps. But when the Allies took over, what did they do? They took the research and didn't bother to question the ethics of using the knowledge gained from those experiments." He laughed at the hypocritical nature of that, for the Allies were there to fight the evil, but didn't even blink in using the knowledge gained from that evil.
"Many of today's medical knowledge came from those days and no one seems to have questioned it…Mainly because many don't know about it too for obvious reasons," said Sinister as he finished washing up and disconnected the mutant boy that his people had found in New York police station after being picked up on petty theft. His people had given bail, but then drugged the young man and brought him to Sinister.
He pressed a button on the side of the examination table as it moved on a conveyor to another part of the lab where the computer systems there would remove the body and place it in a tube for further research before the body started to decompose. He turned to the exit and walked out with Viper to his new pet project. "So…Who was that mutant?" she said, not really caring, mainly just out of curiosity.
"A former member of Magneto's Brotherhood. They disbanded and scattered a while ago," he said as he thought about the file he read on the subject. "I believe his name was Todd AKA Toad, a weak Beta class mutant with mainly physical mutations. I was trying to enhance him, but it seems his body was too weak to stand the strain. Oh well, I usually take those that won't be missed anyway, at least his meager life helped my research a bit."
They walked on until they came to an isolated room that was perfectly square and in the center was it was X23, only now in a medical gown and strapped to a large metal X. He walked over to her and raised her chin, "Wake up little one…"
She moaned a bit, so Sinister went to the side with trays filled with tool, medical equipment, and other such things and took a needle and a small glass jar filled with adrenaline. He tapped the needle and went to her and injected the needle into her arm and she shoot awake and looked around only to feel a slight pain as the needle was taken out of her arm and saw Sinister there. She had seen a lot, but never someone that looked like he did. He was a truly demonic looking man that gave off this aura of fear and malice in a class all it's own.
"So are you ready for your first day under my care?" he asked her. She just growled at him in response, but that only seemed to amuse him. He went to the trays and she saw him take a large black metallic hand held device that looked like a weapon to her, almost like some kind of large gun. She started to thrash about in her bonds as she continued growling at this creepy man.
Sinister was only further amused by her actions and went behind her, roughly grabbing her hair and pulling her head forward as he pressed the device to the back of her neck, "Now this will hurt for a bit."
She felt the cold metal press against her neck and tried to move, but his grip was too strong and heard an electronic charging of a high pitched sound and then a sharp blinding pain as something pierced her neck. She blinked back tears of pain, but refused to make a sound.
Sinister looked at the metal device now implanted in her neck right over her spinal cord. He looked it over and felt satisfied by it and smiled and nodded his head. He placed the device back on the table, "Well it will take a day for that device to bond properly," he said mainly to himself as he walked in front of the former living weapon, "And in case you were wondering, that device is merging with your nervous system and soon we will have a lot of fun with that later."
"Well then, I'll leave you here for the moment so you can rest up," Sinister told her as he walked out with Viper wondering what exactly that device was supposed to do. Sinister turned off the lights leaving her in total darkness. She was alone now and only her breathing was heard as she hung there wondering what was in store for her. This was just like being back in Hydra, and it made her feel afraid and wanted out…She wanted to out and she wanted to be anywhere but here.
She sighed in defeat, alone in the darkness. She tested the metal bonds, but they were too solid and well built so she guessed…She would have to wait until morning. It was going to be a long night…That she knew, but she could wait and plan her escape in the mean time.
NEXT UP CHAPTER 36: EXPERIMENTAION