I heard his voice ringing in my ears, through the door. His fists and feet and body made repeated attempts to open the door, but I locked it. I needed to be alone while I did this.
I looked down as the small scissor blade pierced through the white skin of my wrist. Thick, dark red droplets of blood fell from my arm, and onto the floor, my shoes, onto my fingers. I barely felt a twinge of pain. I took a glance at the latest punctures, fresh and just starting to close. Then stealing one at the old ones, my face softened. They were scabbed, some starting to heal. I looked at the partially blue vein that connected my wrist and arm. I knew in my head and my heart that if I cut that, I would end my life. I'm not ready.
"I'm not doing anything!" I called back to him, the lies almost blurring my vision.
"Then why don't you answer the door?"
I paused and tried to think of an excuse.
"I'm changing! I AM a girl, you know!"
I smiled at my brilliance. I knew he probably didn't believe me, but right now I just couldn't care less. I wanted to be alone and think about all these. . emotions. Confusion, anger, obsession. . I didn't understand a thought in my own head anymore. One conclusion led to another question, and then that led to another question, in a vicious circle. It's enough to make one's head explode!
The bangs on the door ceased. I knew he was still out there, calming his raging temper. I knew he'd probably be raking his hands through his heavy, black hair, losing some hair in the motion. He'd probably start pacing in a moment or two, just to have to something to occupy his physical mind. He might start to chew his bottom lip, like he does when he gets nervous or confused. If he meant what he said about loving me, he might even start crying.
"Pansy, why won't you talk to me? You've ignored me ever since I told you that I loved you. You've avoided me in the halls, you won't let me catch your eye during breakfast, you don't even meet me after dinner for our walks. . I miss you. ."
He sat next to me by the lake, running a finger tip along the scars. He took my other hand in his, and slowly smoothed his hand over mine. A small shiver went up my spine as his warm hand began to heat my cold one.
"Pansy, why would you do this to yourself?"
His melodic voice came to my attention, pulling me from the stupor of his fondling. I shook my head slowly, looking down. I felt his eyes on me, penetrating the wall I tried so hard to make during my youth.
Harry raised my hand and kissed it, and then traveled down my hair, kissing the scars. I closed my eyes, willing the tears to not fall. I don't know what I'd do if they did. They fell.
"Damn," I took my other hand and wiped away the tears, but Harry took my other hand, and replied,
"Why are you afraid to show me your true feelings?"
I looked up into his green eyes, feeling compelled to spill out all my guts just because I knew he'd listen.
And that's when he did it. He removed his hand from mine, and pulled my chin towards him. I hesitated, but he was ever so gentle. The fingers that clasped my chin moved to slowly brush over my cheeks, while our lips touched.
An explosion of feelings erupted inside me at the moment. I closed my eyes and hoped he would continue. I inched closer to his warm body, feeling his arms take hold of my hips and pull me into chest. I opened my mouth wider, and let him do the rest.
I have no idea how long we occupied ourselves like that, but I do know one thing.
Someone saw us.
R/R!
Hey, thanks guys! I just started this story around August, so just spam me with reviews when you want me to update. XP.