Special thanks to Mrs. Eyre for helping me out with Ivica, he's a handful.

"Make Room for Tata"

So we're going on our honeymoon after all . . . Kerry caved. At the airport, I have to take off my shoes, and they rip apart my carry-on bag which Abby seems to find amusing.

"Seems they've got your number"

"Har, har, har".

I buy her some trashy gossip magazines and gum for the plane ride while we wait. I'm watching her. She seems relaxed, but every now and then she bites her lip. I know she's a little nervous, and not about flying.

We're on the plane, on our way to our Honeymoon, on my way home. We doze off and on. Eat that terrible food. Watch a really bad movie. Fool around under those cheap blankets just a little bit; she teases me about joining the mile high club.

"The what?"

She explains.

I shake my head laughing, "Abby if you think there's room for someone even as small as you with me in one of those lavatories, you are mistaken."

She giggles.

I'm not worried about going home and finding ghosts there. I know they're gone. I'm more worried about Abby comparing herself to the specters in her own head. I've thought about telling her what happened on my walk that morning, but she's already worried about our kid being bipolar, I don't want to add schizophrenia to the list. No that's a cop out. It just doesn't seem right to talk to Abby about Danijela yet. I'm not sure if it's her or me.

As soon as we land, I'm free. No worries, I'm drinking it all in, the sounds, the smells, the voices of home. We rent a car and drive to Vodice on the coast. Abby falls into a deep sleep this time. I love driving in Croatia. Somehow it's freer, fewer traffic lights, fewer cars once you're out of the city, and no highway patrol to speak of. I roll down the window just enough so that the cool air ruffles my hair, but doesn't blow on her. I let one hand take control of the wheel while the other moves the clutch at just the right moment. My feet go up and down in an easy rhythm when I shift, clutch down, give it the gas, release the clutch, the engine purrs. Sex and cars, they're two of the best things in life.

When we arrive it's pitch black, not like in Chicago, here you can see the stars. I park the car facing the house so I can use the headlights to see the door. This turns out to be a good thing. Ivica told me he would leave me a key under a rock in front of the house, and it turns out that there are about 20 rocks in front of the house. I rub my eyes. I so did not need this. I find the key and open the house. In the bedroom I pull down the covers. I carry Abby in and tell her to stay asleep. She must be so tired. It's a long journey for a pregnant woman. I slip off her shoes with one hand while the other undoes her jeans pulling them down with the practiced skill that it is, of course she's usually awake.

I bring in our bags and get into the bed next to her, I think that I'll have trouble falling asleep, but I don't. I wake up before her and drive to the market for some food for later and a paper. Then the ocean calls me, I walk down and stare at the waves and the water looks so good I can't resist. I look around and the place is deserted. What the hell? I pull off my clothes and dive in. I feel like I've found the fountain of youth. I try to imagine skinny dipping in Chicago, but the idea is absurd and I dismiss it quickly.

After my swim, I use my t-shirt and dry off and pull on my pants. Back in the house, I make myself some coffee that I bring down to the beach with my paper. She finds me like this soon after. She's er in a good mood and gets to down to business quickly. I find myself a little shy, I've never been given to public displays, not that anyone's around. I feel like a kid at my father's house, but I don't put up much of a fight. I told you she's like a roller coaster. I'm feeling anything but queasy right now. She works me up into such a frenzy that I take her with a little more force than I intend right there in the sand. After, as I hold her, I'm feeling a bit ashamed. Just when I'm going to open my mouth to apologize, she sits bolt upright, looks down at me and says,
"Is there a place to get a good pizza around here?" I guess she's okay.

At the end of the week, we drive to Dubrovnik we're going to my brother Damir's house. I wanted to tell them our news in person. They don't know we're married and they don't know about the baby. She's biting her lip again. We stop for gas and when she gets out to go to the bathroom the attendant asks me if Abby's a tourist, he heard us talking, before I can answer he says,

"American tourists my favorite, easy on the eyes and easy between the sheets."

I shake my head and let him know Abby is no tourist she's my wife, and anything but easy. He misses my joke, but gets my point.

As we drive away, I sugarcoat when she asks what he said. She knows it. Being in step, it's getting to be a habit now, just like the missteps were last time. Suddenly, I'm overwhelmed by the sense that everything I want in the whole world is with me in this car, and the best part is I know she knows it too.

When we get to the house, everyone's on us in an instant. It's Abby that tells my father we're married. We didn't discuss it, but somehow that feels right. I'm too busy anyway. Josip, my nephew, is complaining that he can't find the tooth he lost earlier in the day, he put it in his pocket for safe keeping, and now it's gone. I help in the search by picking him up by his ankles and giving him a few good shakes. My sister-in-law, Tatijana wraps me in her arms, and asks all the details that women always want to know. I catch Abby's eye, it's her prize, I want her to tell them. She tries, but American expressions aren't known worldwide whatever Americans want to believe. 'Shotgun wedding' falls flat, so she just says it.

Here's one they could probably figure out "so quiet you could hear a pin drop." Eventually Damir speaks to me in Croatian, as if he needs confirmation in our own language, I give it to him "Da".

Then Damir engulfs Abby and sends her out to Tata who left before the news. I nod my head, that's her place too. The rest of my family descends on me. I let myself sink into their warmth.

We go out to dinner that night. It's nice to have all my family in one place. My family. Its felt so small for such a long time, tonight it feels well, huge. We sit outside in a café. Damir, more the gentleman then me, gives Abby his coat, before I think of offering mine, and he lets me know it. Older brothers never change. Abby gives as good as she gets from my clan, and its nice to see them all so comfortable together. Damir, not so much the gentleman after a few more drinks, cuts Abby off when she's trying to make a point. I look at her and shrug "In laws". I mean it as a joke, but it reminds me that I have my own in laws too, which is not so funny, but that's for another day.

The next morning, I get up and go downstairs. Tatijana asks after Abby and offers me breakfast. I tell her I'll wait for Abby, but I take a cup of coffee and go out to their garden. Tata finds me there.

"Let's walk" he says, and I know I'm in trouble, it's never good when a Kovac man wants to walk.

I follow his lead.

He doesn't waste much time.
"So are you happy, does she treat you well?"

"Of course, don't I look happy?"

He grunts, "Does she cook for you, do your laundry, take care of your house?"

"She's my wife not my maid." I bristle for Abby.

"Good, a man your age should be able to take care of himself. Besides she's your wife, not your mother, she should have better things to do. Your Mama now, she was useless in the kitchen, but in the bedroom . . .."

I stop walking, that is just way too much information "Tata don't . . .."


He interupts me and keeps walking so I have to take longer strides to keep up.

"Don't be such a prude Luka, how do you think you got here? So you're staying in Chicago?"

"We bought a house."

"Luka, whenever people who are married, discuss their lives with others they always say "we decided". This, is a bunch of horse shit. Two people don't decide anything. One person makes a choice and then the other can agree or disagree, but this, this crap about both deciding, well, let me tell you soon enough it becomes clear that sometimes you decide, sometimes she decides but you never both really decide. Do you understand?"

Well not entirely, I'm not sure if I agree but I'm beginning to get hungry. I don't really want to spend the morning debating this. "I think I know what you mean."

He stops walking abruptly. "Who decided?"

I stop and turn around "What, to stay in Chicago?"

He waves his hand to dismiss me, "No, that's no decision, that's inertia, who decided about the baby?"

I'm surprised. I know that whatever he said to Abby last night she was pleased. I know he's happy about the baby, he nearly broke all my ribs when they came in the house. I look at him more closely. He hasn't slept well. Apparently something about this is stuck in his craw. I take pity on him. I'm a father too after all. I'm not sure which answer is the one he wants, and I'm not sure what to say. I made a decision in Croatia, Abby made one in Chicago, and her's was better? Besides this is between me and Abby, no room for Ivica here. Then, it comes to me, what to say.

I look at him hard in the eyes, "Apparently, you."

I can't remember ever seeing Ivica speachless, but he is, he looks flustered and confused. I can maintain my composure for only a few more seconds, and then a big grin spreads over my face.

It takes him a few seconds to work through his confusion. Then he roars, and I'm laughing too.

He slaps me on the back, a little too hard, and grabs my head between his hands to pull me in for a kiss. "You haven't made me laugh in years." He ruffles my hair, there are tears in his eyes, and I feel mine burn too.

"See, I told you she would be good for you, this Abby, my Abby."

I nod my head "Yes, Tata"

And I feel the pride swell in my chest. I'm proud of Tata's Abby. And I'm proud of myself too.