"Night Moves"

Cold . .. . like ice. Abby's feet on the back of my legs. I look at the clock, eyes blurry from sleep. 4:10 a.m.. She's fidgeting and fussing with her pillows. I roll over. "Hey, you okay?"

"Heartburn . . . . and Maggie."

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah, actually we had a really good talk."

"More apologies?"

"Kind of."

"They ever going to stop?"

"No"

She still can't get comfortable. I push aside some pillows. "Use me."

I pull a couple more behind me, so I can prop her up against me and she finds a way to rest her belly on mine and drape a leg over my two and then seems to settle.

"Comfortable? "

"As if, but this is probably as good as it gets."

"I'm better then a body pillow?"

"More bells and whistles anyway."

"Excuse me?"

"Bells and whistles, it means fancy."

"I'm fancy?"

"You are" I smile and I can feel her smile on my chest.

"Happy?" I stroke her hair with one hand, rub the other over her belly, and feel the occasional twist or kick.

"You happen to be the second person whose asked me that question today, and the sun's not even up. But in this moment, despite a few discomforts, yes, I am, I'm happy. You?"

"Mmmhmm. Bet you never thought when you asked me out, that we'd end up here, Dr. and Mrs. Kovac, house in the suburbs, mother-in-law in the guest room, baby on the way . . . "

"No, I was just hoping for some great sex." We laugh. I don't think anyone else in my whole life has made me laugh more easily then Abby.

"Gee, my hopes were a lot more innocent."

"Oh?"

"Yes, I just wanted to know what it would be like to really kiss you, not a little peck like in the ambulance bay."

"And what was it like?"

"To kiss you? It was like opening a door to a place I never thought I would see again. It took me a long time to walk through the doorway, but still it was nice to know it existed."

"Is that where we are?"

"Yes"

"It is nice."

"It's going to change though very soon. I mean it will still be good, but it will be different. You'll disappear into the baby for awhile, and we'll both be falling in love with someone else."

"You better mean Junior." She strokes my lips with a finger and I turn my head to kiss her palm.

"Yes, we'll both fall in love with the baby." I'm rewarded for this by a kick so strong I feel it on my stomach. "Wow she's strong."

"She?"

"That's what the Croatian grandmothers tell me, and they're hardly ever wrong."

"Do you care?"

"What? Girl or boy, no . . . you?"

"No not really, although I feel like I've already raised a boy, a girl would be nice, but either, really."

"So Abby if it's a boy, I was thinking, I'd like it if the middle name were Ivica."

"Well seeing as he's partly responsible for this, that sounds about right. Now if he could just do some of the work of getting the baby out, it would all be fair."

"I don't think I want to even consider seeing Ivica in labor." I mean it lightly, but there's a weighty pause.

"And me?"

"I want to be there Abby, if you want me there. I can't make guarantees, but I can promise you I'll do my best, to give you whatever you need . . .want." I've come a long way but he thought of Abby in pain, and me helpless still wrenches my gut.

"Just you, you'll be enough. . . . .and if you have to leave, then you do, it will be okay"

"No it won't be."

"Don't do that Luka, not to yourself, not for me. A very generous man once told me, some things aren't fair to require from another person, that love shouldn't have that steep a price. I didn't really understand it then, but I do now. And he was right." Her voice is firm, mine comes out kind of raspy and dry.

"I'll be there Abby, I'll find a way. You should get some more sleep." She nestles into me even closer. Damn I'm lucky.

"Sing us to sleep."

And I do.