Silent Tears of Fears

By Infinitis

Dis: ehhhh, ok here's the line up (takes deep breath) I have a Kyo plushy, a kitty named Kyo-kun, a Kyo keychain (with Tohru), a children's book about the zodiac animal race (OMG the cat was a girl o.0…transsexual?), and twelve fruits basket books…see? I am an otaku, not an owner of this series…although…I WANT KYO! (Gets sacked from annoyed readers)

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Ch. 2 Remembering Doomsday

Yesterday, I saw her face…

Kyo-kun

…blank and speechless.

Our class was done with our graduation ceremony and I noticed when she took off her attire she still had her school uniform on, poor girl. At that time, I felt a foreboding aura in the air. She smiled though, but I could see a mask hiding a worried face. We talked a bit, well; it was her who did all the talking. I could tell by her voice that she was trying to help my uncertainty, my future. Right in the middle of her sentence about new housekeeping stores and job interviews, we heard a voice piercing our ears.

Come along, Kyo, don't waste my time.

My time…with her was up. I saw him turn back with Kureno by his side. When my eyes turned back, her face was hidden from me with her hands on her face.

She knew.

At that thought, it hurt me even more. I clenched my hand and released it, calming my bitter anger. She knew that she'll never see me again. I'll never see her again… I grabbed her hands and whispered her name. Her head lifts up, tears in her eyes.

Sayonara

I kissed her cheek and let go of her hands very, very slowly as if in a dream…no nightmare. Her face was blank and speechless.

What a tragedy

The moon shines bright in my prison, but it does not give me hope. All that I have brought with me was the memories I shared with her…and it hurt that I couldn't have more. I'm the one who's selfish, I chuckle. "I hope Akito can be merciful give me poison for food. I'd rather die now then live a thousand years without"-

"I would doubt the mercifulness of our Master, but I don't think Tohru is going to like your physical absence."

I turn to find a face dimmed by the waning moonlight. His purple gaze is strangely without hate, and without admiration. I glared at his presence.

"Yuki…don't talk about her like that she's better off…"

I could find the rest of the words. The rat sighs, "You say she would be better off without you? Are you sure? You know, you're too egocentric, thinking always of yourself and not others."

"But"—but Tohru!

"You think she's better off now? Why don't you think of her at this position! She's been like a zombie ever since you left!"

Why?

Yuki exasperates and moves his head to the side, holding one of the edges of my small window. "Baka neko…," he mutters under his breath. I…no longer have the strength to argue. My laughs echo in my little room. The unwelcome guest looks at me as if I'm insane, which I probably am right now. Yes…

"Baka neko…baka neko…"

Yuki's hand grabs my shirt collar, our faces are inches apart. I have no strength to fight it.

"What are you doing? Why aren't you fighting back?"

No hope…no hope in this forsaken place.

"Because…" I didn't want to stomp on anything anymore nor make any other lives miserable, especially not Tohru's. "I'm the CAT, that's why. I'm doomed here!" If I was out there, I would be a monster…this is my punishment for being BORN!

The rat pushes me away and I land on the floor. He doesn't know…the real reason I fought with him.

Yuki stands, his mouth open with an insult aiming to cut into me. My ears are ready to be blocked off by the high-and-mighty remarks.

"Yuki…Yuki-kun…?" A quiet voice muffles beyond my house wall. It is a voice I rarely heard before. I see though my pathetic window the face of the rat, his expressions turning into something I haven't seen in him before…a grayish-brunet head walks towards Yuki.

"Ma-Machi…what the heck are you doing here?" He bends his head down to talk with this girl…the former student council treasurer. I decide to sneak back to my window, wanting to see this different side of the haughty rat.

"Baka ne!" There's a whip in the air and I wince in the pain of the sound. Oh dear rat, what have you got yourself into? "You think I can't go with you, be with you, after all we've been through?" she roughly whispers.

"Machi!"

"I told you I could handle it! We would meet ever night and talk to each other till the dawn comes up." She was once a quiet girl, very unsociable. Yuki puts his hands on her arms, hoping she wouldn't do anything foolish; like waking Akito.

"Machi, calm down."

"Calm? I c-can't be calm…not…not without you! Why? Why do you have to stay in this place when you don't even want to?"

"I can't say no!" He replies, angrily I might add. I would.

"Why…" she breathes, her tough, new front breaks down as she succumbs to tears. I guess…he must have told her about his situation before graduation night. He wasn't home so I would suspect, but he never came back to the house either if I can remember correctly.

"It's the curse." His bland voice speaks as if not his own.

"It's our 'bond' to the damn thing." I say unconsciously, meaning for only my presence. The girl, I notice, peeks into my shabby room to see my hunched figure in the shadows. Her eyes grow with questions wanting to be answered.

"Is that, Kyo-kun?" She pulls back from the window. "Why is Kyo here, I thought…"

"There's more to the curse," Yuki tries to explain our situation though I don't approve that another outsider is learning our curse…why did that rat had to fall in love?

Why did I fall in love?

I put a calloused hand to my face, scratching my cheek with my low cut nails, digging as deep as they could into my flesh. I hear the couple talk outside. Machi questions while Yuki explains, repeating the same lines over and over again that were told to us when we were children. A sick, empty feeling fills my gut and I slip from my sitting place in the shadows, falling to the hard ground with a lifeless thud. No strength. No hope. Go away. Leave me alone! I curl into myself.

"But isn't Tohru in love with Kyo?"

The words ring in my ears, buzz through. I was happy at the first second but then, I felt a dread filling up in my heart. Machi's words repeat over and over in my head.

Isn't

Stop!

Tohru

Please don't say it!

In

Go away, go away!

I slap my hands over my ears to lessen the pain only to figure out that it made the words in my head worse.

Love

Kami-sama!

With

Visions of a girl come rushing in my head who laughs, cries, talks, shouts, worries, runs, jumps…and smiles. My breaths become sparse and sweat drips down my brow. What did I do? Is she really? She can't! Not with me! But if she is- Curse her! Curse this damned curse! Curse the Sohmas and curse the day I was born! Why couldn't I live a normal life? My eyes move side to side, up down, looking for a way to run. But there's no running away in here. No going back to the way things were…

Kyo

"Damn it!" I lift myself up without thinking. I never wanted her to be apart of this atrocity. My hands grab blindly onto something hard and lift it in the air. Right when I smashed it into a wall, another voice calls out from the dark, a voice I dreaded and longed for. At the last second, I felt myself being bombarded with needles pricing my skin. My vision blurs from the stress and insanity in my head, but also the enveloping pain all over my body.

"Kyo-kun!"

Too late…to turn…back…

And see her face.

Darkness.

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AN/ sorry it took so long, thank you for all your reviews! And my muse has a full stomach now thanks to you. (Bow) I'm sorry that I left you all at a cliff hanger (although this dose seem clichéd…wouldn't it be funny if it wasn't Tohru who called?)

Another voice calls out from the dark…

"Kyo-kun!"

"What the? Ayame, what the friggen heck are you doing here! This is supposed to be a kyoru fic, not a yaoi!"

(Ayame hugs kyo) "Oh come on, I know you want me…"(says in husky voice)

"Curse you Infinitisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!"

Don't you have any other cursing sayings? Sheesh. Don't blame me! Blame my muse! (I run for the hills as a little muse gets left behind in Kyo's wrath. Ayame hangs on his neck, trying to steal a kiss.)

"Eh, hi?"

"I'm going to get you, you pixie!"

(Muse screams like a freaked-out-horror-movie-chick)

…

(Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz) Ah! Eh, there I go. Excuse my slap-happy insanity (sweat drop) 'Tis but 2 in the morn' and I haven't had a bit of shut eye, no sir.

Bye…and review for my muse's sake (sorry little buddy)!