Chapter Three
"Hey guys!"Mimi showed up about ten minutes later...dressed in about the most inappropriate outfit a babysitter could possibly wear. The twins were getting piggy backs from Angel and Collins, while Maureen showed Lucy some pictures on the couch, and Thomas was sitting, crouched in a corner, watching Roger beat up the toys. Mark and Joanne were in the kitchen, trying to get the microwave to work as Greta hollered and sobbed in Mark's arms.
"Joanne! How do you make it stop screaming like this!"Mark moaned.
"You FEED her!"Joanne growled, examining the microwave. "When was the last time you guys used this thing?"
"Hey Roger!"Mark called."When was the last time we used the microwave?"
"I think it was last Halloween, when we put all the silverware in there to see if it would blow up,"Roger replied, as he shook Barney's First Guitar in the air.
"Oh yeah! Haha, that was awesome..."Mark laughed. He caught Joanne's disapproving look, and quickly stopped laughing.
"Oh my God..."Joanne sighed, returning to the microwave.
"Hey babe!"Mimi greeted, skipping over and getting down next to Roger.
"Hey..."Roger grunted, examining the plastic guitar thoroughly. Mimi frowned.
"Well, I see you've taken up a new form of guitar..."she commented. Roger looked up, suddenly realizing how odd he looked. He put the toy down.
"Uh...Mark's nieces and nephews are here for the weekend,"he explained.
"I was wondering where all the cuties came from!"Mimi said. She smiled over at Thomas, who was still crouched in the corner nervously. She waved. "Hey honey! What's your name?"Thomas stared at her, wide-eyed, for a second.
"Thomas,"he finally muttered softly.
"What a nice name! How old are you?"Mimi continued.
"Seven,"Thomas squeaked, as if Mimi would attack him if he answered incorrectly.
"Oh, you're so grown up! You wanna come play with me and Roger, Thomas?"Mimi asked, motioning to Roger, who offered an awkward grin. Thomas shook his head vigorously. Mimi sighed, smile fading.
"Okay then..."
"Joanne! It tried to bite me!"Mark shrieked.
"Okay, first of all, it is a she, Mark. And second of all, she doesn't even have any teeth!"Joanne pointed out.
"She hates me already Joanne!"Mark whined.
"Oh, shut up! Your whining is worse than the baby's!"Joanne snapped.
"See this, Lucy?"Maureen was saying, showing a picture to Lucy. Mimi grinned, nudging Roger.
"Look!"she said, pointing at Maureen and Lucy. "They're getting along. Isn't that cute?"Roger nodded.
"Who knew Maureen would be so good with kids?"he said.
"This is a picture of me when I was so drunk I took my shirt off. Now, someday you're going to get very drunk too, but I want you to remember, NEVER take your shirt off in front of a bunch of boys, okay? Unless they're paying you lots of money..."
"MAUREEN!"
"How come you wear dresses if you're a boy?"Sam asked Angel, who was hauling him around the loft on her back.
"I like dresses better than pants,"Angel replied simply.
"But boys aren't 'upposed to wear dresses!"Sam said.
"Well, girls can wear pants. Why can't boys wear dresses?"Angel asked. Sam stopped, thinking about this.
"You mean, I can wear dresses, just like Kristy?"he asked.
"Of course you can!"Angel assured him. Sam nodded, seeming to like this idea.
"I should tell my daddy about that. I don't think he knows boys could wear dresses!"he explained. Angel just laughed, continuing to carry Sam around.
Meanwhile, Kristy was sitting cross legged on the ground across from Collins, who was leaning against the wall.
"Whatcha drinking?"she asked, as Collins took a swig from his flask.
"Vodka,"Collins answered. Kristy watched him take another gulp.
"Is it good?"she asked.
"Ooooh yes!"Collins said, laughing a little. Kristy watched him take a long gulp.
"...can I have some?"Collins stopped, thinking about that for a good two seconds...
"Why not! You might as well try some now then at some party when you're older, right?"He began pouring some vodka for Kristy, when Mark caught sight of him.
"COLLINS! STOP!"he hollered. Still clutching the screeching Greta, he dashed over to Collins, snatching the flask from him. "Collins, do NOT give vodka to the children!"
"It was just a sip!"Collins insisted.
"Uncle Mark! I was gonna taste the good juice!"Kristy whined.
"Uh, there is lots more juice in the fridge. Why don't you ask Maureen over there to go get you some?"Mark said, pushing Kristy off towards Maureen.
"Oh, Lucy, look! It's a picture of me and your Uncle Mark!"Maureen was saying, to the three year old. Kristy was now leaning over the couch, also looking at the picture. She frowned.
"How come you have your tongue in his mouth like that?"Mark nearly dropped the baby as he whirled around.
"Maureen! Put those away RIGHT NOW!"he ordered, running over quickly to grab the pictures. Angel came skipping over to Collins, Sam still hanging off her back.
"Hey babe, how's it going?"Collins asked, kissing Angel's cheek. Sam frowned.
"Aren't you both boys?"he asked curiously.
"Yes,"Angel replied.
"Then why do you kiss? Are you brothers?"Sam questioned. Collins and Angel exchanged glances.
"You could say that..."
So Mark rushed around frantically, as his friends made no attempts to change their behaviors to take care of these kids. So far, things were NOT off to such a great start...