Chapter Four
"Hey Thomas, doesn't this look like fun?"Mimi called over. She and Roger had been spending the whole morning trying to get Thomas out of the corner to come play with them. Thomas merely continued to shake his head. He was almost humoring them now...
"Mimi, face it. Nothing is going to get that kid out of the corner. I say we just leave him there for the week-end,"Roger sighed.
"No! He's going to come play with us..."Mimi said, determinedly.
"Good luck with that,"Roger said, getting up and walking over to his guitar, which was lying next to the couch. Mimi rolled her eyes, but continued to harass Thomas...
"Joanne, can't you please hold this baby for a little while?"Mark moaned. Joanne pulled her head from the microwave.
"Mark, I'm kind of busy right now. Is it really that bad?"she sighed.
"YES! She hates me!"Mark insisted. Joanne shook her head.
"You need to grow up a little, Mark,"she replied.
"But Joanne–"
"Walk her around a little! Talk to her, bounce her...keep her busy!"Joanne instructed. Mark sighed, and began bouncing Greta as he walked around the loft.
"Shut up, shut up, please shut up..."he chanted to the baby as he wiggled her all about, marching around...
"Did you used to be married to my Uncle Mark?"Kristy asked Maureen, who was braiding her hair. Maureen laughed.
"Not exactly. We were boyfriend and girlfriend,"she explained.
"How come you aren't any more?"Kristy asked.
"Well Kristy, have you ever heard the word 'lesbian'–"Maureen began.
"END OF DISCUSSION, MAUREEN!"Mark called across the loft...which caused Greta to start wailing again. "Oh shit!"
"Hey Thomas, what do you want to be when you grow up?"Mimi asked. She was now kneeling within inches of him. Thomas was backed even further into the corner(if that was at all possible)
"I don't know,"he mumbled.
"Aw, sure you do! What does your daddy do?"Mimi asked.
"He's a lawyer,"Thomas replied.
"Really? Wow! I bet you want to be like your daddy when you grow up, don't you?"Mimi asked. Thomas shook his head.
"No,"he said. Mimi frowned.
"You...don't?"she asked.
"No,"Thomas repeated.
"Well, who do you want to be like?"she asked. Thomas shrugged, turning his gaze away from Mimi and looking over at Roger, who was now strumming on his guitar again. Mimi sighed. This was harder than she had imagined...
Sam and Kristy had become bored with Angel, Collins and Maureen after a few hours...and had decided to move onto their Uncle Mark. Unfortunately, he was rather busy running around screaming "Shut up, shut up" to Greta as she screeched at him. Joanne was still working on the broken microwave, Roger would not talk to them, and Mimi was too involved with Thomas. So the two decided to go check out some of their Uncle Mark's possessions instead...
"Hey look! I'm Uncle Mark!"Sam was running around the loft, dressed in one of Mark's shirts, a pair of his old glasses...and holding Mark's precious camera. He wound up the film, and began filming the loft...
"Ooooh! Sam, you're not 'upposed to touch Uncle Mark's stuff!"Kristy taunted.
"But I'm playing Uncle Mark!"Sam insisted.
"Oooh! Then I wanna be Maureen!"Kristy cried excitedly.
"Fine, you can be in my movie!"Sam said, winding up the film again.
"Yay!"Kristy cheered happily. She jumped up onto Mark's bed...and began pulling up her shirt. "Whoo hoo! I'm Maureen! I'm drunked, and I'm gonna take my shirt off!"
Lucy was toddling around the loft. She had managed to get her hands on a magic marker, and was now looking for some paper...and she happened to come across one of Benny's many eviction notices. Grabbing the notice and the marker, Lucy began to scribble away...
"Come on, Greta. You know you want to be quiet for your Uncle Mark! Yes you do! Yes you do!"Mark had resorted to trying to talk Greta out of crying...which was failing miserably. "Joanne, this baby officially hates me with a burning PASSION!"
"Look Mark, I think I've almost fixed the microwave, then I can help you!"Joanne assured him. Mark sighed...that's when he noticed the twins at his bed.
"I'm a lesbimum!"Kristy screamed, pulling up her shirt again. Sam ran around, still dressed in Mark's clothes, filming his sister as she imitated Maureen.
"This is gonna be my bestest documementarary ever!"he laughed. Mark's jaw dropped. He quickly tossed Greta at Roger, who caught her out of surprise. His guitar slipped, and Mimi dove to catch it, tripping Mark as he ran by. Mark tumbled into Collins and Angel, who had been making out. They both fell over, landing almost on top of Lucy, who was scribbling happily all over the floor. Maureen leapt up in shock, as Joanne jumped, bashing her head in the microwave.
"DAMMIT!"she hollered. Maureen gasped...and Benjamin Coffin III stopped where he was in the doorway.