Disclaimer: We do not own Full Metal Alchemist. And as you read in the earlier chapter, EGF would love to own it because…well, you know what I'm getting at. She likes Ed. End of story. Well, this story. Because the real story hasn't started yet. Aw, you know what I mean! Just read on!
Tsuki: The following is rated PG for random screams and threats, some language, and an explosion. Though I really doubt anyone under the age of seven or eight watches Full Metal Alchemist anyway.
The Twelve Days of Full Metal Chaos 2
Brought to you by KE Productions
Three homunculi, Lust, Envy, and Gluttony, read over the letter once more.
Lust: (reads the note aloud once more) If you desire the final ingredient for the Philosopher's Stone, meet us at the big fountain in town at ten.
Envy: How do we know these people even have access to the final ingredient?
Gluttony: Can I eat it?
Lust: No.
Tsuki and Matsu: (come in from nowhere) HELLO!
Lust and Envy: (raise their eyebrows in a kind of "Huh" gesture)
Envy: Who are you two? Did you send us this letter?
Tsuki and Matsu: YES!
Matsu: I AM CATHY # 1, MATSU!
Tsuki: AND I AM CATHY # 2, TSUKI!
Tsuki and Matsu: COME WITH US TO "THE RITUAL"!
Envy: "The Ritual", huh?
Gluttony: Lust, can I eat them?
Matsu: HECK NO!
Tsuki: At least, not if you want a Philosopher's Stone.
Lust: So, you really do have access?
Tsuki: Yeah, just follow us.
Matsu: BONZAI!
MOMENTS LATER…Tsuki, Matsu, Lust, Envy, and Gluttony: (walk into a house to see Greed, Wrath, Pride, Sloth, Kimley, Scar, Psiren, Barry the Chopper, and Tucker)
Matsu: Okay, now that we have everyone all together, we need you to do something.
Greed: Do what?
Tsuki and Matsu: (scream) THE RITUAL!
Tsuki: (hands out a slip of paper to each person)
Scar: What are these?
Matsu: Those slips of paper are your lines. We are singing a song. When your turn comes, you'll sing that if you really want to get your hands on the Philosopher's Stone.
Tsuki: (turns to Nikki) HIT IT NIKKI! …Again XD
Scar: On the first day of Christmas, my pawn gave to me a completed Philosopher's Stone.
Psiren: On the second day of Christmas, my pawn gave to me two banks of robbing,
Scar: And a completed Philosopher's Stone.
Barry: On the third day of Christmas, my pawn gave to me three–
Tsuki: HEY! BARRY! YOU'RE THE GUY WHO GAVE ME NIGHTMARES!
Barry: …What?
Tsuki: I went to bed right after I saw the episode when you were first introduced and then that night I had a nightmare you were chopping me up like steak!
Matsu: …Sexy.
Barry: Whatever. Anyway…three axes to chop with,
Psiren: Two banks of robbing,
Scar: And a completed Philosopher's Stone.
Kimley: On the–
Matsu: I HATE YOU KIMLEY!
Tsuki: I HATE YOU, TOO!
Matsu: YOU BETRAYED GREED!
Tsuki: SO YOU SUCK!
Everyone else: …
Kimley: …On the fourth day of Christmas, my pawn gave to me four things that go boom,
Barry: Three axes to chop with,
Psiren: Two banks of robbing,
Scar: And a completed Philosopher's Stone.
Tucker: On the fifth day of Christmas, my pawn gave to me fiiiiiiiive peeeeerfect chimeras…
Tsuki: You talk funny.
Tucker: Can't you see what's become of my body? Do you really expect me to talk normally? You're crazy.
Matsu: No, you're crazy.
Kimley: Four things that go boom,
Barry: Three axes to chop with,
Psiren: Two banks of robbing,
Scar: And a completed Philosopher's Stone.
Tsuki: Wrath's next.
Matsu: HE'S SO CUTE!
Tsuki: I KNOW! AWWWWW!
Wrath: …On the sixth day of Christmas, my pawn gave to me six blows to the one I hate,
Tucker: Fiiiiiiive peeeeeerfect chimeras,
Kimley: Four things that go boom,
Barry: Three axes to chop with,
Psiren: Two banks of robbing,
Scar: And a completed Philosopher's Stone.
Greed: On the seventh day of Christmas, my pawn gave to me seven hoes all mine!
Tsuki: O.o Wow…I guess…your name speaks for itself.
Wrath: Six blows to the one I hate,
Tucker: Fiiiiiiive peeeeeerfect chimeras,
Kimley: Four things that go boom,
Barry: Three axes to chop with,
Psiren: Two banks of robbing,
Scar: And a completed Philosopher's Stone.
Lust: On the eighth day of Christmas, my pawn gave to me eight deadly kisses,
Greed: Seven hoes all mine,
Wrath: Six blows to the one I hate,
Tucker: Fiiiiiiive peeeeeerfect chimeras,
Kimley: Four things that go boom,
Barry: Three axes to chop with,
Psiren: Two banks of robbing,
Scar: And a completed Philosopher's Stone.
Sloth: On the ninth day of Christmas, my pawn gave to me nine fluffy pillows–
Matsu: I want nine fluffy pillows!
Tsuki: I do too! Woot for comfyness!
Lust: Eight deadly kisses,
Greed: Seven hoes all mine,
Wrath: Six blows to the one I hate,
Tucker: Fiiiiiiive peeeeeerfect chimeras,
Kimley: Four things that go boom,
Barry: Three axes to chop with,
Psiren: Two banks of robbing,
Scar: And a completed Philosopher's Stone.
Gluttony: On the tenth day of Christmas, my pawn gave to me ten sacrificial humans. (Gluttony: Can I eat them?) (Lust: Not right now, Gluttony.)
Sloth: Nine fluffy pillows,
Lust: Eight deadly kisses,
Greed: Seven hoes all mine,
Wrath: Six blows to the one I hate,
Tucker: Fiiiiiiive peeeeeerfect chimeras,
Kimley: Four things that go boom,
Barry: Three axes to chop with,
Psiren: Two banks of robbing,
Scar: And a completed Philosopher's Stone.
Matsu: Pride's turn.
Tsuki: YOU SUCK!
Matsu: YOU KILLED MARTA! YOU ARE UNFORGIVABLE!
Tsuki: MARTA WAS SO COOL!
Pride: Then why are you helping us if you hate us so much?
Tsuki: Oh, um, uh…
Matsu: Er…THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT! JUST SING YOUR LINE!
Pride: You're the ones who interrupted me.
Tsuki: SHUT UP! AND SING, DARN YOU, SING!
Pride: …(rolls eyes) On the eleventh day of Christmas, my pawn gave to me eleven great armies because of moi.
Matsu: Someone's a bit conceited.
Gluttony: Ten sacrificial humans,
Sloth: Nine fluffy pillows,
Lust: Eight deadly kisses,
Greed: Seven hoes all mine,
Wrath: Six blows to the one I hate,
Tucker: Fiiiiiiive peeeeeerfect chimeras,
Kimley: Four things that go boom,
Barry: Three axes to chop with,
Psiren: Two banks of robbing,
Scar: And a completed Philosopher's Stone.
Tsuki: And lastly, now it's Envy.
Matsu: WE HATE YOU TOO!
Tsuki: YOU HAVE TO DIE FOR WHAT YOU DID TO HUGHES!
Matsu: HOW DARE YOU KILL HIM!
Envy: …Freakish little girls…
Tsuki and Matsu: WHAT'D YOU CALL US!
Envy: On the twelfth day of Christmas, my pawn gave to me—(glances at paper) There is no way I'm reading this.
Matsu: (death glare) You'll read it if you want the final ingredient.
Envy: (sighs) On the twelfth day of Christmas, my pawn gave to me twelve shots of me in drag.
Everyone else: (starts cracking up)
Matsu: That is so out of character XD
Tsuki: Who cares? XD We wrote them anyway!
Matsu: True.
Pride: Eleven great armies because of moi,
Gluttony: Ten sacrificial humans,
Sloth: Nine fluffy pillows,
Lust: Eight deadly kisses,
Greed: Seven hoes all mine,
Wrath: Six blows to the one I hate,
Tucker: Fiiiiiiive peeeeeerfect chimeras,
Kimley: Four things that go boom,
Barry: Three axes to chop with,
Psiren: Two banks of robbing,
Scar: And a completed Philosopher's Stone.
Tsuki: Yippee!
Matsu: That was fun.
Envy: Okay, fork over the final ingredient.
Tsuki: Okay.
Matsu: We just er…need four people to help us bring it in here. (points at Greed, Wrath, Scar, and Psiren) You, you, you, and you. Come with us.
Matsu, Tsuki, Greed, Wrath, Scar, and Psiren: (walk into another room)
Psiren: What do you need us for?
Matsu: Just hang tight for a sec. (walks around, looking for something)
Wrath: What are you looking for?
Matsu: Here it is! (takes out the thing for the TNT, with the box and the lever sticking out of it, and when you push down on it, the TNT explodes)
Scar: What are you doing?
Tsuki: You heard us how we hate everyone else. They deserve to die.
Psiren: Well, what about us?
Tsuki: You, Greed, and Scar are really cool. And Wrath is just so cute. We just HAVE to spare you guys.
Matsu: BONZAI! (pushes the lever)
BOOOOOOOM!
Tsuki, Matsu, Wrath, Greed, Psiren, and Greed: (walk out into the room that exploded to see remains of everyone else)
Matsu: HA HA! YOU JUST SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED!
Fin.
We, KG and EGF hope everyone has a great time over the holidays! Thank you for reading the Twelve Days of Full Metal Chaos 1 and 2. We hope you enjoyed it and please review!