Sirius goes to the Great Alley Yonder Bar
Remus and Sirius walk into a bar. Unfortunately for Sirius, it's a gay bar.
"OMGWTF Remus where did you bring me?" Sirius screamed as soon as he saw the place.
"Shuttup Sirius," Remus hissed, waving to the bartender. "Let's just sit down at the bar."
Sirius sat down and began to wipe down the counter and glasses, even the peanuts with a sanitary wipe.
"What are you doing?" Remus asked.
"I don't want to catch the gay," Sirius replied, holding his glass up to the light.
"Homosexuality isn't a disease, Sirius," Remus replied impatiently.
"Then why is it spreading like one?" Sirius countered, making a look of disgust as he threw the sanitary wipe in the trash.
Remus groaned as the bartender set down a glass in front of him. "This just came from that slice of heaven over there," he said, winking at Remus.
Remus smiled and waved at the handsome man who sent him the drink. Sirius made a loud noise in the back of his throat.
"What?" Remus asked. "You send drinks to girls all the time!"
"That is so rude," Sirius persisted. "How does he know we're not together?"
Remus rolled his eyes. "What do you want me to do about it?"
Sirius looked down at the bar. "I dunno…just put your arm around me and give him a dirty look."
Remus obliged but mouthed the words we're not together at the handsome man who grinned.