A/N: The next chapter is up!

Disclaimer: XXXHOLiC will never be mine.

Chapter Two: The Dummy's Guide to Kabuki

Yuuko was laughing evilly. Things did not bode well. "Watanuki dear, come here for a while!" She called. Watanuki entered the room with a scowl. It seems that Yuuko's customer was an old man this time. "This man is Ishikawa-san. He is the manager of a kabuki theatre. How is he?" Ishikawa surveyed Watanuki. "Yes, his build is lithe and rather slim; his face carries feminine features too. He'd be just fine." "Excuse me, but what are you saying?" Watanuki asked. "Ichikawa-san is looking for a solution to his ghastly problems and I said you'll do fine. You'll be performing a side role in one of his plays," Yuuko informed.

"B-But Kabuki plays need actors with intensive training, isn't that true?" Watanuki asked. "Yes, but I think you'll do just fine," Ichikawa replied. 'You have only three weeks to work, and your role talks less and moves more. Your role is similar to a…servant's, I believe," Yuuko informed, a slight grin gracing her features. Watanuki would never consort with Yuuko's schemes, but Ichikawa seemed like he needed help. "…Alright, fine but when do I find time to practise?" Watanuki asked again.

"You don't need to come to my shop to work. I'll be going to see you practise instead," Yuuko replied.

Watanuki sighed with relief. It seems like it was a blessing in disguise to be able to skip working at Yuuko's shop. The next day though, his class was buzzing with excitement. "What's the matter, Himawari-chan?" Watanuki questioned his friend. "You know Ichikawa Suzuki-kun from Doumeki-kun's class? He's giving out free tickets to a Kabuki show. I got one for you," Himawari answered, handing a ticket to Watanuki. "You're so thoughtful, Himawari-chan!" Watanuki replied.

But when he thought back on it, Ichikawa was also the name of Yuuko's customer. Perhaps they were related? Just then a cheerful boy caught his hand. "Kimihiro-kun! My grandfather already told me!" Watanuki smiled politely. "As I expected, you're related to Ichikawa-san, um…" "Just call me Suzuki, that's enough!" The bubbly boy of jade eyes replied. "We'll be working together, but that's a secret. We'll surprise everyone." "B-But that means, we're performing in front of everyone!" Watanuki whispered.

"Yes, so let's give it our best to impress everyone!" Suzuki cheered. "But you know, I'm so glad to be working with the owner of these hands! They're so soft," Suzuki praised. Watanuki blushed slightly and slowly pulled his hands away. "Um…thanks." He didn't notice a very jealous exorcist standing by the door, watching them. "Oi."

"Oi what! I have a name you know!" Watanuki snapped at Doumeki. "That's right; you always bully Kimi-chan! Kimi-chan, let's go! I have a LOT to teach you!" Suzuki stuck his tongue out at Doumeki and pulled Watanuki away. "Ichikawa-kun and Watanuki-kun gets along easily so quickly," Himawari noted. "I don't think so," Doumeki replied a bit sourly. "Um, Suzuki-kun, what's with the nickname?" Watanuki asked as he was being hurried to the hall. "Kimihiro is a very long name, so I thought calling you Kimi-chan is better. Does it bother you?" Suzuki asked.

"Ah, um…I guess not, I-I mean it's okay if you call me that!" Watanuki stuttered.

"Kimi-chan, you know what your role is?" Suzuki asked.

"Not really, Yuuko-san said it was a side role, something like a servant's," Watanuki replied.

"Really? That's not right. You're playing an oiran who's the lover of a samurai, played by me. Your role can't speak until at the end she dies from poisoning of a jealous rival in my role's arms," Suzuki informed. Ten seconds passed. "I'm what! B-But an oiran is a woman, a courtesan no less! I didn't know I was going to play such an embarrassing role!" Watanuki was about to faint.

"Kimi-chan, have you never heard of onnagata? A man playing a woman's role is called onnagata. It's pretty much common in Kabuki plays. All roles are played by men. Don't worry, Kimi-chan! I'll be playing your opposite, so there's nothing to fear!" Suzuki encouraged. "There's nothing really serious in this play right? No more than holding hands?" Watanuki asked. "No, of course! Kabuki is a really elegant play. Most of the play however, does depend on the actions and movements of the actors. They tell the story using proper body language and narration. Speech of the actor is also important. Kimi-chan, you want to go home with me today? We'll practise later anyway at the stage," Suzuki suggested.

"Sure…"

Later during recess, Watanuki found himself facing a very irate Doumeki. "What's the matter with you? You look like somebody just stole your favourite toy," Watanuki mumbled, feeling the bad vibes from the archer. "As a matter of speaking," Doumeki replied coldly. "What, really? Who'd be that brave?" Watanuki asked sarcastically. "Kimi-chan! Can I share your bento?" Suzuki pounced on Watanuki suddenly. "Suzuki-kun!" Watanuki was taken aback.

"No, you may not," Doumeki quickly replied, prying him off the bespectacled teen. "Why not? The bento's enough for three people, and Kunogi-chan is too busy today. She said I can eat her share," Suzuki complained. "The dummy only makes bento for me. You haven't earned any credit to eat his bento," Doumeki answered. "You thickhead, let me go! Suzuki-kun can eat my bento! He doesn't need to earn any credit, he's my friend! That's the same for Himawari-chan!" Watanuki answered crossly. "Thank you, Kimi-chan!" Suzuki said and sat between the two boys.

'It's this foolhardy idiot that's going to steal my favourite,' Doumeki thought, very unhappy that Watanuki takes well to the weird boy and even lets him use a pet name. "Kimi-chan, you're a great cook!" Suzuki praised. "Ah, thanks. It's because I had to take care of myself ever since my parents passed away…" Watanuki stopped talking. Why did he open up to him that easily?

"Really? I'm sorry…Was it an accident?" Suzuki asked.

"Yes, they died to protect me. Before that, my father was the one that taught me how to cook," Watanuki kept on talking, unable to control his words. 'Why am I talking so freely! I can't control myself!' Watanuki thought in horror. "Your father must be a great cook. What about your mother?" Suzuki continued. "My mother was a gentle person. She could cook, but not as great as father's. She was better at tending to the house and plants," Watanuki automatically replied.

"I see…What about you? What are you like?"

"I'm born on first of April. My favourite colour is sky blue. My favourite food is fox oden. My impulsive habit is to clear up anything out of order," Watanuki rattled. The bell rang. "Oops, gotta go back to class now! Come on, Doumeki!" Suzuki pulled Doumeki to his feet, but a fleeting smirk passed his face as he whispered, "I got you what you wish to know about Kimi-chan, although it's just a bit. You should thank me."

Doumeki's eye narrowed as he followed Suzuki. "What did you do to that dummy?" Suzuki grinned. "I don't know. Kimi-chan spoke the truth by himself, didn't he?" "You'd better not hurt him," Doumeki growled. "I won't do such a thing. Kimi-chan after all…is the king on the chessboard. I'll checkmate soon if you don't make a move," Suzuki answered, smirking. Doumeki watched Suzuki throughout classes, feeling more than ever suspicious of the strange classmate he never took notice of.

After school, Suzuki and Watanuki headed towards the theatre, and also Suzuki's home. A very jealous Doumeki had to stay back for archery, much to his disappointment. "Yuuko-san, you tricked me!" Watanuki yelled, seeing Yuuko with Mr. Ichikawa. "Even if I didn't, your good boy side will make you accept the job, right?" Yuuko stated, grinning at the red face of Watanuki. "Wha-Whatever! Let's get it over with!" Watanuki yelled, obviously embarrassed. "Let's go! I'll show you around before we get to practice!" Suzuki tugged at Watanuki to follow after him.

With Suzuki's induction into Watanuki's circle of friends, Doumeki found it much harder to spend time alone with the bespectacled boy. Suzuki constantly butted in during their lunch sessions, a time Doumeki considered very important to spend with Watanuki, aside from the bento he gets. Worse still, he always watched Watanuki go home with Suzuki, completely disregarding him. It hurt him that Watanuki paid no attention to him anymore than during lunchtime. He nearly considered not going to the kabuki play had Himawari not said Watanuki would be there.

"Are you sure I look okay?" Watanuki asked worriedly. "You look lovely, Kimi-chan! Now, let's go!" Suzuki announced. Doumeki was both shocked and pissed when he saw Watanuki on the stage, and playing Suzuki's opposite, none the less! He was shaking in visible anger when they watched the love scene, Suzuki gently touching Watanuki's face and hand, professing his undying love for him.

Meanwhile, Watanuki was very uncomfortable. 'When would that thing appear? It should be any minute now…' At the moment, he was focused on his acting. He shook his head imploringly when Suzuki confessed his love, turning away in shame the way he had been taught. "It does not matter to me who you are. My love for you is all that matters," Suzuki proclaimed solemnly, taking Watanuki into an embrace. Watanuki laid his head on his chest, just as they've rehearsed.

'This is so damn embarrassing,' Watanuki thought in shame. Suddenly he saw Doumeki and their eyes connected. Doumeki was obviously looking pissed. He radiated anger and…was it disappointment through his dark eyes? All of a sudden, the stage shook. Watanuki immediately felt a sick swoop in his stomach. The all too familiar stench assaulted his nose. The audience were confused when Suzuki stood up and whispered something from the corner of his mouth. One by one, they fell asleep.

"My bridal offering…Has finally come…" A deep voice rumbled throughout the air. Watanuki nearly fainted.

"B-Bridal offering! Suzuki-kun, I didn't hear anything about it!" Watanuki exclaimed, now looking at the ghastly smoke beginning to take form. Moments later, they saw a samurai standing directly in front of Watanuki. "You are my offering, are you not? Such a delicate beauty; they have chosen well this year," he said, grasping Watanuki's hand. Watanuki, pulled at his hand, but the thing's grip was like vice. "Get off me, you creep! I'm not about to be your wife or anything!"

"That dummy won't make a good wife," Doumeki stated, climbing on the stage. "Who dares challenge me?" The spirit turned to face Doumeki, who had a bow gripped and string pulled taut. "You'll do better staying in the afterlife," Doumeki said, releasing the string. Watanuki saw the spiritual arrow pierce the samurai and the spirit dissipated into the air.

Suzuki clapped. "Wonderful performance, Doumeki!" Doumeki glared. "You're supposed to be this idiot's friend. How can you let him stay in danger?" "I had confidence in your abilities," Suzuki replied. With ease, he picked up Watanuki and hoisted him on his shoulders. "Kimi-chan, let's go home!" "Don't you stay here?" Watanuki asked incredulously. "And put me down!"

"Not really, I was the price to pay for Yuuko-san's services. I'm a tengu and I have chosen you, my adorable Kimi-chan to be my next master! Let's go!" Suzuki cheered. Black wings broke out from his back and he took off to the air, but before that, he looked at Doumeki and said, "Be careful not to get anyone riled up."

A/N: Reviews?