Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Note: Set at the end of KOTOR II: The SIth Lords. Based on a Lightside ending.
Chapter 37: The Last of the Jedi
"There are things that cannot be changed... Things that should never have been... I have always known that..."
Carth Onasi lowered his gaze from Revan's suddenly cold eyes. It had been four years since he had seen the man. His last words to him words of hatred for shielding Malak. Now he could only feel pity for him. Revan's imprisonment by Darth Nihilus did not make for a pretty picture. The former Jedi looked like he had been stranded in the Dune sea and beaten by Tusken raiders. His hair was long and tangled and his face covered by a mangy beard. His black robes were worn and tattered, nothing more than rags and his body bore witness to many, many new scars.
"Was that all Bastila wanted me to know?"
Revan asked in an emotionless tone. The Republic admiral flinched. He was loathe to deliver the news and knew it wasn't right, but Bastila and her talents were needed, she had a new life and Revan could not simply walk back into their lives after four years and expect everything to be the same.
"She wanted to tell you herself... to let you know she'll still be there if you need anything."
The former Dark Lord smiled for a moment, his eyes focused on something only he could see.
"I lost the opportunity. She found someone who can make her happy and I am glad for her."
Revan's eyes flickered as he lowered his gaze to Carth.
"Where is she, Carth? And what the Force happened here?"
Revan briefly motioned his hand to the viewport of the Citadel station that showed the wreckage of Darth Nihilus' assault force.
"The Sith attacked Citadel station. From what Canderous told me, the Sith Lord was led here by a Darth Traya..."
Revan closed his eyes, reaching out through the Force clearly for the first time in months.
"She is no more."
The soldier frowned.
"How do-"
At Revan's bemused expression, Carth sighed.
"The Force, I got it. The Exile, Kenobi seemed to be building a little group like we had. Went after Traya. He must have succeeded."
Revan's expression grew troubled.
"Yes..."
The Mandalorian whispered. His heart aching from two losses. Despair does strange things to a man. In less than a day, Revan had lost the two women that meant the most to him. He could accept Bastila's offer of friendship, but they could never be friends, just as it was with Carth. Comrades in arms and mutual respect could only go so far.
"Where is Bastila?"
Revan asked as he pondered what he would do. The True Sith were still out there and from what Carth's aide, A young man named Mical had told him, The last surviving Masters of the Council had fallen on Korriban and Dantooine in the recent weeks.
"Revan... I- I can't tell you that."
The pity in Carth's eyes. There should have been hatred, loathing, perhaps a spark of joy at seeing one who had caused him such misery; but Carth was not that kind of man. He did not take pleasure in the pain of his enemies. He couldn't even bear to torment Saul Karath. He only wanted to put the memory of the man and his betrayal as far behind him as he could. Revan could understand, bear hatred, but never pity.
"I'll leave a message... for the others..."
Carth nodded as the doors to the small briefing room opened.
"Carth, there is one thing you could do for me."
"Anything."
Carth replied instantly.
"Continue what you have been doing. Keep the Republic strong and... on the planet below... in the pole there was a Jedi academy..."
Carth shook his head.
"The Exile told us the Sith had taken control of the base. We destroyed it from orbit an hour after the attack..."
Turning to the young, blonde man, Revan noticed a shift in the man's aura.
"Tell me what you know."
It was obvious to the former Jedi student and the Republic admiral that Revan was slowly descending into something neither man wanted to see him become. They needed him for the war that was to come. Spies sent by the Republic had painted a very grim picture of the capabilities of the True Sith and they made Darth Nihilus' feeding frenzy look like an afternoon snack.
"There was one survivor from the base. We've isolated her. The Exile told us she was dangerous but... she's dying, Revan."
The subtle coercing through the Force paid off and Revan made both men forget their conversation aside from the messages he wished to deliver to the rest of his comrades. To Bastila a wish of happiness for her new husband and family she had forged from her grief in the wake of Katarr and her mother's death. A time when he should have been at her side but chose war over his love for her, once more. For Juhani and any other Jedi to prepare for what was to come. For Mission and Zalbaar that he would always miss their wisdom. And finally to Jolee. An apology for not being able to save his apprentice.
"There is one more thing, Revan."
Feeling a cold chill run up his spine, Revan stared into Carth's eyes in a silent question.
"Malak was killed on Korriban."
Revan closed his eyes.
"How?"
With a frown of sympathy, Carth continued, though he could not completely shield his satisfaction from Revan.
"He was seeking a Jedi Master, Lonna Vash and was killed by her apprentice in his sleep. We haven't heard anything further aside from that, but Kenobi mentioned something about finding Master Vash and her apprentice killed by a Darth Sion."
Too much, he'd face the implications and sorrow later. He would mourn the loss of his brother in arms and mourn him well. Malak deserved a better death. To be killed in his sleep by a Jedi apprentice was a disgrace, a cruel joke. One would say it was almost as tragic as the death of Ulic Qel-Droma at the hands of a common man.
Sighing, Revan rubbed his eyes. It was strange, he could not sense a Jedi, let alone a Sith nearby. Perhaps his mind was playing tricks on him or Atris was so weak she could not be sensed, or the news of Malak's death was effecting him more than he could control. Either way he had questions he needed answered and Atris had always been dare he say a friend. She had given him a second chance. He could give her one if he could get to her in time.
Working his way silently through the Citadel station as patrols of the TSF and Onderon's military searched for remaining Sith forces, Revan quickly purchased a new set of black robes and tossed aside the brown cloak he had taken from Mical. Taking a few precious minutes to clean the filth from himself and tailor his appearance, Revan shielded himself from the minds of the guards in the Citadel's medical facility and found his lost Jedi Master.
Seeing Atris was like looking into a mirror to the part of him he kept buried beneath all of his anger and resolve. She was broken. Mentally and physically. A lightsaber wound marred her pale skin and while not mortal, looked like more than enough to take out a Jedi. The lightsaber burn ran across the Jedi librarian's abdomen and down one of her legs.
Placing a gloved hand against the transparisteel of the kolto tank, Revan closed his eyes, reaching deeply into the Force and pulling on what remained of Atris' thoughts.
"Can you hear me?"
Revan whispered into the Jedi Master's mind. Two sky-blue eyes opened, wincing as the sting of the kolto struck them.
"I have to create a bond with you to heal you. Your powers are too far gone to heal yourself."
Too weak to respond mentally, Atris attempted to shake her head, her face twisting into an ashamed grimace behind the breathing mask. Surprised, Revan wondered what would pain Atris so much that she would not wish to live. Perhaps she was ashamed of saving him. Or in so much pain it would be better to die. Not knowing that the Jedi Master had fallen to the Darkside. Not knowing that she had fallen because she thought he had betrayed her. The betrayal of Brianna being the final push that sent her falling.
Too many of her Jedi brothers and sisters had fallen. Too many had been lost and she had no one else to share the burden of being a Jedi with. To be alone its own kind of hell. Atris had for four years been the last of the Jedi. The only Jedi Master willing to rebuild the Jedi, willing to follow the Code, flawed as it was. She had overlooked Revan's transgressions after seeing the result of the Council's decision to Exile Ian Kenobi. Her shame at Exiling a man she had called a friend before the wars had driven her to save his friend in the hopes to redeem herself. At least in his eyes. She had hoped, perhaps that by saving Revan and reasoning With him, maybe even redeeming him or playing a small part in that redemption would allow Kenobi to forgive her for her anger at him for abandoning the Order during the Mandalorian wars and her decision to Exile him.
She had believed Revan to have fallen to the Darkside once more. All her hopes and efforts would be for nothing. Revan would return to Telos and murder her and the children of Yusanis. Then he would take the knowledge of the Sith holocrons and become more powerful and it would have been her fault. The despair drove her towards her fall. Anger soon followed and seeing Kenobi, the reason she would even attempt to restore Darth Revan was almost enough to drive her to the Darkside's promise of comfort.
Twisted by her own solitude, Atris finally fell when she felt the betrayal of Brianna Kae. Choosing the Exile's path over her sworn duty as servant to the last of the Jedi Council ended her battle With her own darkness. Instead of fighting that despair and anger, she embraced it and justified it. Her murder of Yusanis' children and her attempt to kill Brianna and the Exile was only an extension of her fall. No one would betray her again.
"Are you so lost you would wish death? The embrace of the Force is like nothing I could ever describe but to die a slow death, to have your body consumed by its own devices. Would you wish that on anyone?"
Revan whispered as he ran his hand over the transparent casing of the tank.
"Rest easy, Jedi Master. I have no fight With you."
Revan whispered into the fallen Master's mind as the shame she felt grew. Revan slowly reached out with tendrils of the Force, gently constructing a bond with the Echani Master. Feeling the connection With the former Dark Lord's mind, Atris knew he had not fallen to the Darkside, he had only been used as a tool to satisfy Nihilus' own darkness and that had been what she had felt. Now, Revan would know what she had done, how she had murdered and tried to murder the last of Yusanis' children. Revan had been Yusanis' friend and though he had killed the man, he wouldn't have killed his children in spite. He would know and he would murder her. He would give in to his own anger and fall into darkness once more.
Opening her eyes, Atris fought to beg Revan to let her die. Let her fall to the oblivion of the Darkside and spare himself from her nightmare. If Nihilus' torture had not pushed him to fall, the lost hope she could sense in him as he built the bond would break him. Revan was strong in mind and body, but not invincible.
Revan started in surprise as he felt the first inklings of Atris' thoughts. Pain, betrayal, despair, loneliness. Anger. A path he had followed for years and one he was finally overcoming. One he would continue fighting even if it would be alone. His torture at the hands of Nihilus and his dual purpose of entertainment and fuel for the Dark Lord's destruction opened his eyes.
He was not above right and wrong. He was not the Force's hand, forged to build the galaxy as he would have it. Sentient beings would make their own decisions and he was not the one to tell them what to decide. Malak was a casualty of his quest for power. While it had been to fight the Yuzhaan Vong at first and then the True Sith, he could not ignore what he had done. The dozens of worlds or the countless lives lost and forever changed by his own actions, his own greed to control.
In the end he was only a ruthless, power-hungry dictator. Not the Heart of the Force as his Master had once called him. Not the force that could make or break the Jedi Order, though he had come close. That right was reserved for the Chosen One. The Sithari as it was known to the True Sith. The one who was prophesied to balance the Force, destroy the malady that kept the future shrouded ever since the Great Hyperspace War. Revan knew he was no messiah. He was only a warrior, trained first by his own kind to destroy, then by the Jedi to protect he twisted his own skills to forge a destiny for himself and ended with damning himself and hundreds, thousands of his Jedi brothers and sisters.
Twice, he fought his own kind. First the Mandalorians and then the Jedi. The war was never about how many Vong he killed, or how many Mandalorians or how Many Jedi he converted or defeated. It was always about him. He was the battlefield. A teaching his Master Kreia had taught him and one he had dismissed. His decisions were his own and the war between good and evil within himself was blurred by duty and obligation and honor and lust for power.
The Darkside did not twist him, it had as much influence on him as the lightside did. It was only a tool, a tool he used to destroy. He did not rebuild the Jedi into the great vision he had wanted. The way they had been before Exar Kun. He had only confirmed the fears of the Council and his power, no matter how great only wrought sorrow.
"All my efforts were for nothing in the end... The Sith are still strong, the Vong defeated by their hands. The blood of countless victims is on my hands... I was only complete in death..."
Revan stared into Atris' bloodshot eyes as he spoke, knowing she could read his thoughts now and knew what he did.
"Perhaps I do see why you wish to die... to end it all. I can see now why anyone who has touched the Darkside would want it all to end... but that is our punishment. It will never end."
Sighing, Revan channeled more and more power into the bond he now shared With Atris.
"Perhaps we can walk the road to redemption together. I know your sins and you know mine, my Jedi sister and we can face them together, or wallow in our despair until the Sith end us."
Breaking the seal on the kolto tank, Revan used the Force to remove the barrier as Atris removed the breathing mask from her mouth and coughed up a mouthful of bitter kolto as she dropped to her knees and held her face in her hand.
"What have I done?"
The fallen Councillor wailed.
"What have I become?"
The Echani asked, turning her teary, bloodshot eyes to Revan's. Revan smiled softly, understanding on his face as he reached a hand down to Atris, taking hers in his.
"Human... only human."
Pulling the former Jedi Master to her feet, Revan wrapped his arms around her, uncaring of the kolto smearing his clean robes.
"We cannot fight what we are, but we don't have to be monsters."
Free of Citadel and safely away in hyperspace on a transport, Revan settled down in a chair as Atris slept, her body and mind still weak. only then did Revan allow his tears to all. He cried for the death of his surrogate mother, Kreia. For the loss of his friend and brother in arms, Malak and he felt regret for his treatment of Bastila. The twisted love that was mixed With duty and tainted in bloodshed and war and loss and camaraderie.
When he could cry no more for the loss of his friends, Revan laughed insanely at the irony it all. Here he was, his only companion the Jedi Master who had given him a second chance and now needed HIS support to overcome her own darkness. Life was definitely not good and in the depths of space, a single Jedi Knight had the same thoughts.
Ian Kenobi had seen Malak's body an knew he was murdered. In that moment, his anger for what Malak and Revan had done after the Mandalorian wars was lost in his grief. Malak and Revan were like brothers to him. If what Visas had confessed to him as she left Darth Nihilus behind to be undone by his own hunger was true, Revan was dead as well, his fate likely Nihilus' final meal before he attacked Telos, hoping to find more Jedi to feed his hunger.
Kreia's death felt wrong to him. As did Sion's. Sion had fallen so far yet he was merely a tool of Kreia, twisted by her actions as a Sith. Sion was too tired of his existence to fight on and chose to end himself. With honor. In the end, all of Kreia's teachings helped him to become the Jedi he was, guided him to the path of the Jedi and gave him the wisdom to see that any of his actions, no matter how small could have profound effects on the galaxy.
Malak's choice to trust Master Vash had been well founded, since Master Vash had genuinely seemed mournful over his passing and her Padawan's fall to the Darkside. Then Master Vash had saved him to hold Sion off. Revan had tried to redeem himself, or in the very least make a positive difference as Malak had and ended up the prisoner of a beast.
"They deserved better..."
The Jedi spoke to himself, knowing where he went, he could not take the others. Ziost was too much of a risk, but he had to know what it was that was so terrible it influenced Revan and Malak as much as it did to force their hands in such an extreme manner. The others would carry on and prepare and train new students. One day, they would make a new, better Order and leave the sorrow and darkness of the Jedi Civil war and the Mandalorian wars behind them. Even the Mandalorians were redeeming themselves, choosing true honor and choosing the fight the coming darkness. Canderous was a good choice for the new Mandalore. One Ian hoped could fill the void that Revan and Malak's passing would leave behind.
As his thoughts followed the memories he had of his lost brothers, an Echani Jedi Master fell into his mind and Ian knew, then that he truly was the last of the old Jedi Order.
To be concluded...
Author's Notes: Yes I know, I will face your wrath. Bastila moved on while Revan was away fighting With Malak against the True Sith. I was building that up in the previous few chapters. If you were left alone by all of your friends and faced with the painful death of a family member, would you pine for four years until you found someone? The Loss of the Jedi and Revan's disappearance would be a reason for Bastila seeking solace in someone else. I read a review for the last chapter and I realized I hate writing happy endings where everything is fine. Through Revan, billions of people died. Malak fell to the Darkside because he followed Revan and it brought a LOT of misery and woe to everyone. This story is named Casualty of War because I felt I should write what happens when someone makes a wrong decision. Revan left Bastila to fight the Mandalorians then again to fight the True Sith and without a goodbye. (As far as I could tell in the games and how I wrote the story.)
Bastila I just couldn't see forgiving Revan again, or at least putting her life on hold to pine over him. War doesn't paint a pretty picture and most of this series is about Revan's road to redemption. At first reluctantly. He only chose to give Atris' scheme a chance to safeguard Bastila. I often wrote that Revan didn't believe that he could be redeemed but he knew he couldn't go back to the Sith. This is a consequence of his actions. The love he had with Bastila was a casualty of his war in a way. He missed his opportunity. I hope my readers find this twist interesting. I got the feeling there was something Bastila wanted to tell Revan during the scene in KOTOR II. This is just a possibility in my mind.
And so ends A Casualty of War. I will continue the universe I built for the story, but this felt like a good place to close this section of the tale.
To be continued in The Tragedy of Darth Revan the Reborn. An Epilogue told by Darth Sidious...