Mystery Men

Fanfic by Whispering Winds

The Marauders are Hogwarts' resident celebrities. But contrary to most teenagers' idols, this dastardly bunch of marauding menaces is a complete mystery to their fans. That is until the determined Lily Evans decides it's time every girl's fantasy "Prongs" should be hers. Now if only James Potter would leave her the sod alone!

Chapter II
It had been a seven days, and first week's major prank on the Slytherins had well and truly lasted into week two. It seemed that very much like real acne, the Marauders' purple volcano variety spread. It was already Thursday, and the small mountains showed no signs of clearing up.

To further add to the Marauders' delight (and the fifth year Gryffindors' amusement), the mini Volcanos had a habit of violently erupting in double Potions with Slytherin. Frequently causing jets of the disgusting bubbly pink puss to sore through the air, often landing in the afflicted's cauldron, and prompting a terribly violent reaction.

Even Snape, who habitually received an O on every potion submitted found himself with a T after one of his own disfigurations (the unnatural ones) exploded along with his cauldron. It was with that, that Severus Snape – or as the Marauders had affectionately dubbed him Snivilus – decided it was well past time to put an end to this particular bit of fun.

By the weekend Snape had concocted an antidote, and the boys' fun was temporarily ended. They would just have to try harder next time…

Lily Evans was furious! She was never late to class! Never! But here she found herself, clumsily hurrying down the flight of stairs that had recently shifted on her, hunched over, nearly buckling under the weight of her engorged book bag. This couldn't be allowed to continue. No more nights spent wistfully in bed, contemplating Prongs' true identity. It was time to take matters into her own hands. It was high time the Marauders were unmasked, and Prongs was sure to be suitably impressed by her cleverness once she stripped him of his.

-

James Potter was running late for Transfiguration… again. He however was far more relaxed in his manner of dealing with the occurrence than his fellow classmate, and object of affection Lily Evans was.

Hands in pockets and whistling a cheerful tune he'd heard an unsuspecting Hufflepuff humming as he snuck up on her with a nasty Jinx on the tip of his tongue, James affected a saunter as he slowly made his way towards his favourite class.

Despite his leisurely pace, the raven haired boy, found himself quickly gaining on a decisively animate for a typically inanimate book bag of massive proportions. It was not until he had broken level with the object that he discovered that it was not moving on its own at all, but merely dwarfing the creature that so struggled below it.

Was that a silky tendril of crimson hair the sun's light danced across in short golden streaks he spied? Only one person he knew of had that very distinct colour hair.

'She seems to be really struggling with that bag… I know! I could help her; she'd have to be thankful then… her very own Knight, come to rescue her from her plight!' Yes, James quite liked the sound of that as it rebounded through his head.

-

Lily Evans was not blind to the arrival of her now unwanted companion.

'What's that bloody prat Potter think he's up to? Strolling along as though he's got all the time in the world, and humming that infuriatingly annoying tune, doesn't he know he's late?'

A few more painful steps, as they (she) trudged along in silence, and Lily was about ready to box his ears in!

'What is he retarded or something? Can't he see I'm on the verge of dying? Hello? A little help here?'

-

"Say, Evans, that looks pretty heavy – 'No shit Sherlock!' – and I couldn't help noticing you could use some help," James' hand had finally found its way out of his pocket, and much to her infuriation to the back of his hair, where his sheepish scratching only served to further mess up his already windswept hair that she so loathed.

"Thanks Potter!"

Lily magically sprung up to her full height – which was still noticeably shorter than James' impressive stature – a bright grin illuminating her face, and managed to depose her burden onto the Quiditch honed teen with an ease which belied the bag's weight.

James neatly brought the mammoth load to bear, as he swung it round by one strap to rest it gently on the floor. With a swish of his wand, and a barely audible incantation of the word "Reducio," he was now holding onto a bag that would easily fit into his or her pocket.

'That insufferable know-it-all!'

With a grunt, Lily snatched the bag from James' grasp, and turned to continue her march down the hall (somewhat quicker) completely ignoring the poor sod she'd left behind. In truth, she was a little embarrassed she hadn't thought of that herself.

Tilting his head slightly to the side, James couldn't help but notice the sensuous sway of her hips, as her figure slowly retreated into the distance, a goofy grin on his face.

Snapping out of his daze, he hurried after her. She was obviously in a ripe mood to receive another date invitation.

"I tell you mate, she was all over me! Could barely contain herself with the gratitude she felt she owed to me. She should've known that for her I was only too happy to help," boasted a loud James Potter to his three closest confidents.

"So did she finally say yes then?" came the excited enquiry of one Peter Pettigrew, admiration shining clearly in his eyes.

"Well not quite…" came James' less enthused response, as he revealed to his audience the clearly defined red hand printed squarely across his left cheek.

A bark of laughter emitted from the lounging from that was Sirius Black, "Ha-ha, all over you all right!"

"Sod off you great prat!" was the indignant reply.

"Now Sirius, I'm sure she was just giving our friend James here something to remember her by," piped in the unwelcome words of the usually most understanding member of their quartet.

This only served to send Sirius into a deeper state of bellowing chortles, as James was left flabbergasted before his friends. Even Peter was snickering away.

'Bloody traitors!'

A/N: Well there we go: another chapter out. Thanks all for the reviews, and to prove that I do take your suggestions on board, I've updated my method of formatting. I hope it suits you all better.

And remember, Reviews are what motivate me to write faster!

Ps. I find Lily terribly difficult to write. Hopefully she proved to be somewhat believable…