Disclaimer: I don't own Law and Order: CI, just borrowing everyone for a little while. I'm not making money off this story so please don't sue. Besides, I just blew all my money on Christmas gifts.

Schuldig

Chapter Three:

Robert Goren

I Heard a Screen Door Slam

I honestly didn't know what was more painful, listening to Nicole's taped barbs or watching Julia listen to it all. She had seen my interrogations before, back in Germany, and had put the utmost faith in my skills. She had jumped on two occasions when I had lost my cool with Nicole and I cringed inside each time. It also didn't help that she still hadn't looked at me since she arrived.

Eames had kept quiet for the better part of the morning. Filling in blanks or comments that might have been made. She kept casting suspicious looks between Julia and me. Most people assume that I'm the one that cracks all the cases but Eames is always a very significant part to the conclusion. I knew it wouldn't be long before she figured out what was causing my discomfort. Five years had given her incredible insight into my world and behavior.

A knock on the visitor's room door paused the tape and note taking. All of our heads turned to the door to see Captain Deakins standing there, a grim expression on his face.

"Mail call, folks," he said before tossing a postcard onto the table. It was addressed to Detectives Goren, Eames and Bauer. I didn't have to guess who it was from.

"Was it checked for prints?" I asked. I felt so weary of these games.

Deakins nodded his head. "It's clean."

I passed the card to Eames without giving it much of a look. I recognized the pictures from Berlin and understood the message that was supposed to be conveyed.

"So, Miss Wallace has taken a trip to Berlin," Eames commented, passing the card to Julia, who plucked it out of Eames' hand with a scowl.

"Looks like I'm on my own again," Julia added.

Deakins coughed slightly. There was more news and apparently he wasn't exactly happy about it.

"I just got off the phone with Chief Richard Leeds from London."

"Is he alright?" Julia spoke up.

"Fine, but he personally requested that the normal jurisdiction limits be lifted so my two detective's can accompany you to Germany to help with the investigation."

Eames was the first to react. "What? He's not serious."

Deakins remained silent.

Eames gaped in disbelief. "He is serious."

"And let me guess," I added, "You are too."

Deakins shrugged. "It's up to you two. I told Chief Leeds I'd have an answer by this afternoon so discuss if you want to go and get back to me. I want to see this woman locked up for good and I know you two," he pointed to Eames and me, "Want to see the same thing."

Deakins left the room and I was surprised to see Julia start packing up her files and papers.

"Where are you going?" Eames asked before I could.

Julia gave us both a confused look. "I thought you two would want to discuss the situation and figure out how to get out of it."

"Get out of it?" Eames and I said in unison. My partner looked at me and I let her handle the situation, not trusting myself to speak at the moment.

"Look, we've been chasing this woman for the past three years and we would love nothing more than to lock her up. Personally, I'd be willing to fly to Germany, arrest her and then fly to Australia to drop her off, watch her trial and go snorkeling."

Julia slowly turned her eyes towards me. At least she was looking at me now. "What do you think about this?"

I looked from Julia to Eames, who shrugged her shoulders and said, "I'm game." I felt a sense of winning a battle but not the war. I owed Eames ten margaritas for her willingness to go out of the country for this case. And who knew, perhaps retracing our steps in Germany could lead Julia and me to where we had gone wrong. If she wanted to, that is. As calmly as I could, I folded my hands on the table.

"Looks like we're going to Germany."

Eames nodded in agreement and stood up. "I'll go tell Deakins."

Julia returned to her chair that was at the opposite end of the table from me. An uncomfortable silence fell between us, something that had never happened before. I had half a dozen things that I wanted to say to her, to try to figure out what exactly I had done to cause such anger. If anyone had a reason to be harboring hatred it was me.

My six-month tour of Korea had ended and I had finally made my way back to that unimportant farm in rural Germany. The six months had been almost unbearable but I had made it through. My flight for the States left tomorrow afternoon, which only gave me a few scant hours to spend with the Bauer family before I took their only daughter away. To say I was nervous was a serious understatement.

The local who had given me a ride in his broken down truck was halfway down the dirt driveway by the time I had dropped my bag at the bottom of the porch steps of the Bauer farmhouse. The area was strangely quiet and it left me slightly unnerved. I had expected Julia to be there at least. Maybe she was down at the barn and missed hearing the truck pull up. I wanted to believe that was all but I knew Julia better than that. She would have heard the truck five miles away.

The screen door slammed shut and I turned hopefully towards the noise. A grim faced Agnes Bauer, Julia's mother, stared down at me with her ice blue eyes. I removed my army issue hat and scrunched it up nervously in my hands. Agnes was a strong, hardheaded German woman who was not to be trifled with. When given the choice, I always opted to deal with Julia's father, Rolf.

"Good morning, Mrs. Bauer."

Her response was quick and short. "Julia isn't here, Robert."

My mind refused to process that piece of information. "What?"

"She isn't here," Agnes examined her fingernails, "She ran off five months ago. No one's seen her since."

"But that's not possible," I reached into my coat pocket and pulled out the letters that she had written to me over the past six months. "She wrote to me. She had to have received my letters which I sent here-"

"We passed your letters to her through a mutual friend. Now, Julia doesn't want to be found."

"I'd rather hear that from her, Mrs. Bauer."

"Then go find her. Good day, Robert."

And the door slammed shut, ending all conversation. I was in a daze as I called hospitals, hotels and friends. No one had seen her or if they had, they refused to tell me. I spent my fifteen-hour layover knocking on doors, making calls and showing the only picture I had of her to store clerks from Hamburg to Berlin. She had disappeared, completely. I barely made my plane that day, torn between getting on and going home to an ill mother, a selfish father and disinterested brother or continue to search for a woman who didn't want to be found. It was a decision I would question for years to come.

Alex still hadn't returned from talking with Deakins and Julia was shifting uncomfortably in her chair. She kept casting quick glances towards my direction and moving her jaw as if she wanted to say something. After remembering the sting of that screen door shutting I was fully prepared to let her feel uncomfortable. But after a few seconds she did open her mouth to speak and what she said shocked me.

"I was, uh, wondering if your offer for drinks is still open."

"Yeah, sure," was out of my mouth before I could even stop it.

"Tribeca Hotel at the Avenue of the America's."

"Tribeca? That's a nice hotel."

Julia nodded her head. "Our London office is very generous when we travel."

"Tribeca it is then. I'll meet you in the bar an hour after we leave here."

She smiled slightly, but at least she smiled, and the silence that fell between us wasn't as uncomfortable as it had been before.