Sorry, In the prologue I forgot the disclaimer: Gravitation belongs to Murakami Maki, I only wish I owned Ryuichi.

First, I would like to apologize to my readers for this taking so long. I had a few computer issues and lost all of my saved files. Luckily I always write long hand first so I had a copy of my work. Then, I had to get a replacement computer, not a big deal except it was followed by network issues. We had to get a new modem from the cable company and then a new router. So, hopefully now I will be able to be a little more prompt. Thanks to everyone for their patience.

Another AU (Alternate Universe/Timeline). What if Seguchi had been there to save Yuki after the Kitazawa incident? How would the Gravi lives be different? Contains considerable Fake crossover. I find Ryo and Dee convenient when I need New York police.

This chapter is an interlude and features only Shu and Yuki and resolves some issues.

Chapter 11

Interlude

Yuki returned to the basement hideout only to find Shu nowhere in sight. Panic filled his heart. Taking a quick glance around he noted that nothing had been disturbed and there were no signs of a struggle. Trying to keep his head he made a quick check of the bathroom which was empty. Next he approached the bed and checked for traces of blood and once again found nothing. As he leaned down to smell the mattress for ether or any other chemical substance he felt his foot hit something solid underneath the bed and heard a small groan.

"Oh, no!" Heart pounding he crouched down only to find Shu curled up asleep under the cot. "Shu," he choked out, "wake up! What happened!" When the violet eyes opened to meet his he gently brushed the hair back, "What are you doing under here?"

"Hi Yuki," the words were followed by a huge yawn, "remember that first night in my apartment? How I got scared? I always get scared when I am alone in the dark." He watched as a shiver passed through the younger man's body.

"Well, I'm here now you can come on out." He was amused and exasperated at the same time and didn't hesitate to let Shu know, "You scared me to death. I come in and can't find you. I thought…shit. I was looking for blood spots and signs of a struggle."

He reached down to help Shu out from under the cot and after he was once again lying on the bed Yuki continued, "I even had the thought that maybe you had left on your own. Shu don't ever do that again!" His voice had risen to a yell and he could see the tears starting to glisten in the singer's eyes but he couldn't seem to stop. "Imagine what they would do if they found you here alone. At least with me it would be clean and quick."

Shu was sobbing openly now, "I'm sorry Yuki. I won't do it again, I promise. Please stop!" The trained singing voice was a miserable wail.

Yuki was so scared and angry that he knew he needed some time to cool off before he would be able to speak reasonably. He knew he was hurting Shu, but the kid needed to toughen up if he was going to be able to survive. Without another word he got off the bed and started walking. He didn't stop until he was once again in the attic. It was then rational thought once again took over and he realized what he was doing. He was just about to walk out and leave Shu alone and in the dark once again.

Feeling miserable he slumped to the floor and as he sat, he felt something hard in his pocket. In his anger he had forgotten what was there. With irritation he dug into the leather only to pull out the tiny ring box. Opening the black velvet cover he carefully examined the plain gold wedding band. Giving the box a slight tilt he was able to read the inscription on the inside, "I Love You, Yuki"

He stared at the ring for a long time turning it over and over in his fingers. "Why am I doing this to myself, to him? We have so little time." He closed his eyes trying to fight back the tears.

He didn't know how long he sat there before hearing Shu's footsteps coming up the stairs and he was aware of when the kid came to sit beside of him. He didn't speak but Yuki could hear his quiet breathing.

"I meant to give this to you when I came in," his eyes were now opened to slits and he watched as the gold band flashed between his fingers, "only I have realized just how short out time together is going to be. When I bought it, I guess I wasn't thinking." With a pained sigh he carefully put the ring back in the box. "In a few hours or days you will go back to your life and I will be dead or in prison. I can't chain you to that."

Shu had kept silent through the entire speech. He wanted more than anything to reach out and take Yuki into his arms, but he knew this was something he needed to work out on his own. So, he let him talk.

"I've never had anyone before, never been in-love before. I never thought love could hurt so much." Tears were again starting to glisten on pale lashes and he felt that now was the time to move.

Shu climbed up onto Yuki's lap and wrapped skinny legs around his waist while pulling Yuki's head onto his shoulder. He still didn't say a word but only held the older man until he had cried himself out. Continually planting small kisses on his head and caressing his back. When the tears ended and Yuki's breathing evened he knew now was the time to talk.

"Yuki I know you don't want to die, no more than I do. And, I know things seem pretty hopeless right now," he felt Yuki's small chuckle pass through his body. "We will make it through this and K said that he could help you, right? You don't want to go back do you, to what you were before?" He felt Yuki's head shake no. "Then come on we still have some time. I want to spend it with you."

Yuki finally looked into those beautiful violet eyes and once again saw the world reflected there, a world full of love for him.

He somehow managed to get off the floor without dislodging the younger man. He didn't even stagger as he carried him back down the stairs like a small child with Shu hugging his neck the entire way down.

Once they had reached the basement Shu tried to untwine his legs and walk but Yuki wrapped his hands around the back of the small thighs and pulled the slight weight around until they were eye to eye. He wished he could express what he was feeling right now but mere words didn't seem adequate enough. Instead he tried to show all that was in his heart by capturing that perfect mouth in a kiss.

He released one slender leg to slowly run a hand up Shu's back pulling the thin cotton shirt up as he went. Without the additional support Shu began slipping down. This was what he wanted. As soon as the shirt was off he once again pulled Shu in tight to his body growing erections pressing together. His own hips thrust forward and he received a moan in response.

Yuki took the time to study Shu's face at that moment memorizing every detail to hold in his heart and to give him courage for what was to come. Violet eyes were now closed and the cheeks were flushed. The small mouth was open slightly and he could feel the warm breath against his face. Closing his own eyes now, Yuki lowered his head and began gently nibbling on the slightly pouty lower lip.

Shu's legs fell limp at his sides, it didn't matter he would be all the support needed. Arms tightened around his neck and he felt Shu pressing back against him. He barely heard the mumbled "Bed Yuki" due to the buzzing in his own ears. He was more than willing to comply.

Shuichi knew that would probably be their last time together things were drawing to a close. He could feel it with every fiber of his being. He wanted something more this time, something just for him. So when he was gently laid on the bed instead of allowing Yuki on top of him he pulled the other man down and quickly straddled his waist. He couldn't hold back a slightly devious grin at the look of surprise on the other man's face.

He began running his hands over Yuki's well toned chest unbuttoning the shirt while keeping their eyes locked the entire time. His lover actually looked nervous for a few short minutes before relaxing into his caresses. He scooted down to take a nipple into his mouth and now it was Yuki's turn to press into him and groan. Amber eyes finally closed and hands tangled in his hair.

For some perverse reason he felt he needed to make Yuki as wanting as he had been their first time together. He took his time removing the rest of their clothes playfully biting and licking as he worked. When he blonde finally lay exposed beneath him, he took the time to memorize every line, every curve. Amber eyes opened slowly when he stopped. There was confusion there at first but understanding soon appeared and Yuki pulled him down again allowing him to control the kiss.

From there it was all him testing and teasing never quite giving Yuki what he wanted. Only the smallest touches before withdrawing again. There were times he was forced to grab Yuki's hands and hold him down while he continued his slow torture. There were times when he was being watched that he touch himself giving himself the friction he was denying the other man. He wanted begging now. He needed to feel some kind of power in this hopeless situation.

Sorry Folks I took out the lemon here. It was only gratutious smut. The only difference was that Shu was Seme.

Shu laid by Yuki nearly in a daze himself now. His first time as seme had been wonderful and he thought he would like to do it again but deep in his heart of hearts he liked being uke better. He would always remember this though, and he would always hold it in his heart. Just as he would always hold Yuki in his heart, no matter what happened in the future.

Emotions still in a jumble Yuki made his way to the bathroom to clean up leaving Shu lying on the bed staring at the ceiling. Not since his body had been so cruelly used as a prostitute had he allowed anyone to touch him in that way. Now he was only slightly sore as he turned to pull the door closed. Why had he let that happen, why had he wanted it so bad? It was true he wanted to give something to Shu he had never given to anyone else freely. He also realized that if Shu wanted that again he would freely give himself anytime the other wanted.

Was this what love was? Was this what it truly meant? He had been willing to give his life, now he was willing to give his soul. He would make sure that Shuichi lived and he would try his best to make sure that nothing would ever happen to him in the future. In his heart he knew that he had been planning on trying to run when this was over not matter what he had promised those detectives. Now he knew he couldn't. He would have ended up dying anyways and he wanted to die with Shu believing he really had changed. He didn't want Shu to think of him as a monster when he was gone.

After cleaning himself up he left the bathroom only to find Shu still lying in the same position.

"Next." He called softly but Shu didn't move or even blink. His immediate thought was that the head injury was causing him problems. Sudden panic caused him to race to the cot. "Shu!" he could hear the worry in his own voice, "Are you all right? Is it your head?"

Shu finally blinked and looked up at him, "No, I mean it still hurts, but I'm okay. I was just thinking…" The voice trailed off and the eyes once again turned to the ceiling. Yuki began to get a weird sense of deja vu and he thought he knew what was coming. He thought it was best for now if he just left Shu to gather his thoughts. He wouldn't hide anything. He would try to answer all of Shu's questions as honestly as he could.

Yuki went back into the bathroom and wet a towel with warm water. In minutes he had returned and began carefully washing Shu while the kid worked out what he was going to say. The only response he got was a mumbled "Umm, that feels good Yuki," as he ran the warm cloth over the still naked body. Shu was still thinking and deeply.

He returned to the bathroom briefly to rinse and rewarm the towel. Shu still hadn't moved when he came back in. "Turn over Shu and let me get your back." Shu flipped onto his stomach and as soon as the warm towel touched his back Shu started talking.

"Yuki yesterday you promised you would tell me about yourself. I want to hear it now." Now Shu gave him a moment to gather his thoughts and allowed himself to finishing washing before he spoke.

Standing up he stretched his back and tried to smile, "Since I did promise I will. You need to get dressed first though I won't be able to concentrate with you like that. I'll get us something to eat."

As Shu was pulling on his clothes Yuki tossed the towel into the sink and made cold sandwiches for the both of them. The other man was dressed by the time he was finished and he took a seat on the cot facing his love. They had both started eating off of the same paper plate before he could bring himself to speak. He was hoping that Shu would only want to know the facts but he should have known better.

When he was done with his telling Shu was still staring at him with eyes so innocent it was almost terrifying. "I still don't understand why you would choose to kill people," a small sigh followed, "it is just so wrong." This one question said it all everything he had been dreading. The truth was he didn't really know the answer to that question, maybe they could work it out together.

"I know that there no way could understand, I don't really myself. The truth was that I didn't really choose it. It was more forced on me. I had the choice to do what I was ordered or to be killed myself."

"I think I would have chosen to die." There was so much recrimination in that one sentence and he felt his walls shatter, but Shu continued to speak, "I just don't know, I guess you don't know until it happens to you."

Shu was silent again for a few minutes and he couldn't think of anything to say that would make the situation any better right now. The next question did shock him.

"Did you enjoy it?"

His own breath drew flew out in a rush, he felt like he had been punched in the stomach. "Shu! I can't believe you would ask me that!"

"Just answer the question Yuki, honestly."

"No, I did not enjoy it. The only way I could it was to make the person into an object. I know it sounds cruel and heartless but I couldn't get out. They had me tied. The real truth is that I did feel some sense of accomplishment when I was finished with a job, not because I had killed a person but because I done a job properly. Now, sitting here telling you it just feels very lame and dirty."

There was no blame now in the eyes that looked into his. "I really am trying to understand Yuki. I just don't know, it really does sound lame. How could you see anyone as an object? Was that how you saw me?"

"Never Shu, not from the first second I laid eyes on you." He never wanted him to think that. Even if he couldn't get anything else across he wanted Shu to know that he had always been a person in his eyes. Thinking quickly he decided on taking another track. "I have told you what happened to me physically maybe if I told you about mentally and emotionally that will help."

Shu only shrugged, "You can try Yuki but I just don't know right now."

Feeling like he was losing everything he tried to pour everything in his voice that he was feeling and had felt when it happened. "You know that I was young when my tutor molested me?" At Shu's nod he continued. "Well sometimes I think that I asked for it. I did have a terrible crush on him. So maybe I was leading him on without realizing it."

For some reason Shu decided to speak up in his defense on this point, "Yuki you were so young, he was adult. He let it go on and he was the one who should have stopped it. That was his fault. Don't blame yourself for that."

"Maybe, but the most I felt towards him were betrayal and hurt at the time. When I finally ran out I had no idea what was waiting on me. A group of men grabbed me the minute I ran outside. Kitazawa had owed them money and they were going to get it back any way they could. That night I was given to a group of three men to use as they pleased. They were supposed to 'break me in'. I was scared and I cried. They only laughed and thought I was funny. The more I cried the more they abused me. I learned very fast to hide my feelings. By the time I outgrew my 'little boy' looks I didn't have anything left but anger."

He had to pause here letting those same feeling pass. They were always trying to get through and he couldn't let himself break down again now. Taking the time to get another bottle of water he came back and once again sat on the bed, he wanted Shu to see his eyes as he told this part.

"Most of the time I never felt anything. I had made myself numb. I became nothing more than a machine, a killing machine. I know that you have seen the machine and it scares you. There was only one thing that ever broke through my veneer and that was staring into the face of innocence. I suppose I saw in children all of the hopes I had once held and had ripped away from me. I could not destroy…" His eyes started filling with tears, he pinched his own arm and blinked trying to make the pain in his heart go away.

Shu grabbed his hand and held it tightly, "Yuki I'm sorry. You were right, I didn't understand, not until now."

"I really thought I was dead inside." He couldn't even make himself look into Shu's eyes now and quit trying. He allowed his head to drop. "Then I saw you and from that first moment everything I had buried started coming back. I'm afraid I haven't handled it very well."

Not knowing if Shu would accept it now and not caring he let himself fall forward, head resting in Shu's lap. He didn't care if Shu pushed him away, he needed the contact. There was no flat out rejection and Shu's hand started stroking his hair. This gave him the courage to continue. "I'm not sorry I met you, but I wish that you had never met me. I love you and I hate myself for it. K wants for me to be Mr. Thomas to protect you only I don't think I can ever be that man again. I do think that I can be myself and still protect you." He couldn't think of anything else to say which was fine since he didn't think he could talk anymore anyways all he could do now was wait, hope, and cry.

Shu was willing to let Yuki cry himself out. He needed a little more time to think. Yuki spoke as if Mr. Thomas were an entirely different person. If that was the case he wasn't in love with Mr. Thomas, he was in love with Yuki Eiri. It wasn't Thomas lying in his lap now crying, it was Yuki. Thomas would never cry.

As soon as Yuki went quiet Shu lifted his head up and once again looked him in the eyes. "Yuki can I see the ring?"

Yuki looked at him once again red-eyed and defeated, "Why?"

"Can I just please see it?"

Yuki reached down and grabbed the pants lying on the floor and pulled a black velvet box from the pocket. His had trembled as he handed the box over. Shu pulled to lid open carefully to reveal a plain gold wedding band. He pulled the ring out and tilted it into the light. It was inscribed inside, 'I love you, Eiri.' Just as carefully he put the ring back in the box and handed it back. Yuki nearly flinched back from his hand and he had never seen so much pain and hurt in any one person's face.

He couldn't help that right now, he needed to show Yuki what he was feeling. He pulled himself out from under Yuki's weight and got off of the bed. He heard a broken whisper of "Goodbye Shuichi." He watched fascinated as a lone tear fell on the box still in Yuki's hand.

"But, I'm not going anywhere." Shu whispered as he lay back on the bed and pulled Yuki into his arms. Once again his entire body tensed.

"I'm sorry Yuki, I had to know. I don't love him, Thomas, I love you. I'll accept the ring now if you still want me to have it."

"You still love me?" None of the tension had left Yuki's body and Shu suddenly felt as if his entire future depended on the answer to this one easy question.

"Yes Yuki Eiri, I love you."

Yuki's hands were still trembling as he slid the ring on his finger. He heard the whisper of "I do" and felt his own heart lock onto the marriage he just accepted. They laid in silence for a long time afterwards. Every now and again Yuki would grasp his hand and stroke the finger that ore his ring. They had nearly drifted to sleep when the jarring sound of Yuki's phone ringing sent him flying from the bed.

Yuki quickly motioned for him to be silent. He could hear the voice on the other end of the line. "Mr. Thomas have you completed your assignment?" Yuki's eyes traveled to him, "Do not try to lie Mr. Thomas we know that you have not. Just tell us where he is and we will forget your part in this. You are a valuable asset Mr. Thomas."

Shu watched as Yuki's eyes literally blazed, "Go to Hell!"

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