Chapter two. Astro boot camp.
The corporal came out of the engineering training complex and collapsed on a nearby bench, clutching his head. "Ooh, damn!" he moaned "I've had to go over so many switch layouts and emergency procedures checklists I thought my brain would explode". Harrigan slapped him on the shoulder "Welcome to the wonderful world of the pilot" he said cheerfully "This is just the theory, not too hard. Wait until the full EP check ride comes up, then you'll know what mental stress is like. Come on, we'd better get to the barracks for PT. We'll have to do the run twice if we're late".
They turned up outside the barracks ten minutes later, having stopped for a drink on the way. "Oh, there you are, Harrigan. Get lost did you?" the Captain grumbled "For the next few weeks we will have a guest at these little treks of ours" Ten pairs of eyes swivelled round to look at the corporal. "Right, enough chitchat. It'll be a slightly shorter schedule for the next few weeks, as the mission that Lieutenant Harrigan and the new corporal are going on will not involve being chased through the desert by a company of Iraqi regulars. At least I don't think so". After the obligatory laughs and sniggers, Captain Lazarus cut in "OK, let's move! Down to the beach for three miles straight. And no cheating by staying on the hard-packed sand or you'll do it again! Go, go, go!!". The squad moved out towards the beach path, the corporal bringing up the rear. After about half the first leg of the run, it was becoming obvious that the corporal wasn't doing too well. Captain Lazarus called Harrigan over. "What's with the corporal?" he queried "This shouldn't be too bad, even for regular army. He shouldn't be huffing and puffing like that. How long since he even did the BFT?". Harrigan looked over at the corporal "Don't know, sir. But it doesn't look good, does it?". He then jogged back to the corporal "Stop for a minute, corp". The corporal stopped by the sea, puffing like a fish out of water. "How long has it been since you've done the BFT?" asked Harrigan (Author's note : The BFT is the military's Basic Fitness Test, last known by the author to be a three mile run, in running shorts, t-shirt and running shoes, within a fairly doable time limit for a soldier). He guessed it hadn't been recently, and was proven unfortunately right when the corporal replied "About six months, sir. Haven't had to do anything much beyond carrying a toolbox on my own. Air force union rules say you've got to have help with the heavier stuff. Haven't got near a rifle since the last yearly qualifier, either". "Shit-on-a-stick!" moaned Harrigan, head in hands "We'll have our work cut out for us if you're going to pass muster. You're barely going to have enough spare time to breathe for the next two to three months. I'll schedule you time on the range in the evenings. Pistol and rifle".
Harrigan and the corporal pulled up back at the barracks a good twenty minutes after everyone else. Captain Lazarus pulled Harrigan aside, where the Lieutenant explained the whole sorry situation. "Oh, well. At least he should remember enough of that not to shoot himself, or someone else, in the foot" the Captain said, resignedly.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Days and nights blurred into an indistinguishable tangle of brain and body punishment as training continued non-stop. Much to everyone else's surprise, the corporal turned out to be quite a good shot close-in, although longer range marksmanship left something to be desired. He picked up basic maintenance training for the shuttle much more quickly, going some way to offset his miserable fitness levels. Harrigan, glad to have some flying to look forward to, threw himself into the training full- force. This annoyed some of the regular trainees, as the Lieutenant would often reschedule simulator time on very short notice to check out some of the handling oddities of the shuttle or practice various emergency procedures. He did, however, complain loudly and often to anyone within earshot about not getting any real flying done.
Mary found the comm gear in the shuttle well within her existing capabilities. She used the free time to improve her shooting skills, embarrasing many of the MP's in contests after training was done. "She even beat the range sergeant in a pistol match" one of the other troopers remarked to Lieutenant Harrigan after one particularly strenuous day "That was something to see, sir! 499 out of a possible 500! The sarge lost 50 bucks on that one!" The corporal in question walked off smiling and counting his own winnings from the match.
Two weeks later, the group met in the ready room for a progress report. "Captain Lazarus pulled up a chair and started the meeting. "OK, first off, shooting. Corporal?". "Not bad, sir. I forgot how much fun pistol shooting is. Can't seem to get the hang of rifle though" he replied somewhat sheepishly. They had heard about that from the other members of Harrigan's squad. Give him a pistol, no problem; but give him a rifle and it would take divine intervention to get him to hit a human-size target at more than 50m. Captain Lazarus shook his head from side to side "It'll have to do. We don't have the time for more extensive firearms training. Mary?". "No prob, Captain" she replied happily "I must have won over $200 off various troops in there; pistol, rifle, and shotgun. The only one I lost was when they gave me a Barrett. Thankfully the damn thing had been zeroed, but I'd never even seen one before then. Damn recoil on a fifty really kills, too" she grimaced, rubbing her shoulder. "Ha! It'll do the regular grunts good to eat humble pie for a while" sniggered Captain Lazarus "OK, good so far. Harrigan?". "Same as usual sir. Great on pistol, except when Mary was there" She blew him a kiss, laughing a little. Harrigan squared his shoulders and went on "Hmph! Glad to get back on the heavy stuff though. Managed to get a HK G8 out of the armourer. You wouldn't believe that thing sir! The Germans call that thing the 'full- auto sniper rifle' and I can see why now. On semi-auto only one of those $10,000 custom jobs could beat it. All goes out the window on rock-and- roll, of course, but you can't have everything. The armourer's not getting that back, no way. Mine!". They all laughed at that. Harrigan's love for heavy weapons was well known; the bigger they were, the more he liked them.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- The next topic was raised by DK "How about flight theory? Harrigan?". "Not a problem" was the quick reply. "Tricky at first though; I hadn't seen a shuttle cockpit before. Shouldn't be any trouble if things go as planned. And we all know how likely that is, don't we?" Groans and laughs all round "But when are we going to get in the shuttle trainer for some real flying? Being groundbound is trying my damn patience". The Captain intervened with a "Pipe down L-T! You'll know soon enough! Mary?". "Comm gear's not a problem" she explained "Especially compared to some of the gear I've been stuck with in the past. Harrigan's forced me through basic flight training as well. I think he pushed me a bit harder than usual to make up for losing all those pistol matches". Harrigan quickly replied with "Not really. Mary learned fast. And having a qualified copilot would really help relieve the strain up there". The Captain marked that off on a clipboard "Corp?" he finished, addressing the last member of the group "Fine. I actually went out to one of the shuttles currently in storage. Managed to pick out something that the regular guys missed" Harrigan growled nastily at that. "Nothing flight-critical, as long is it was fixed right then. Which it was. Checked by three others as well and signed off" finished the corporal. "Good. Everything seems to be according to plan. Harrigan, there'll be time a-plenty for shredding maintenance techs after the mission. Save it till then".
DK's phone beeped suddenly, startling everyone. "Yeah?" he said into the phone "Really? ... Can do...We'll need an IP for the co-pilot as well...As long as they don't squeak to anyone we don't want to hear...Damn" sighed DK. Harrigan replied "What's up?". DK continued "Good news : We've got in at the front of the flight schedule for the shuttle trainer. Bad news : We only know one instructor who can be instructed to keep his mouth shut, so we'll have to stay up twice as long. That will get noticed before too long, so learn quick"
Things had just taken a turn for the worst at General Franklin's office, as two OSI investigators had turned up. "Yes!!" growled General Franklin "It better be good!". When they walked through the door, Franklin sighed "OK, what's up?". "I'm Captain Shulton, sir. The local senator received a complaint from a, hmm..." he consulted the sheet of paper in his left hand "Major Beasley. Apparently the Major was assaulted by, let's see...". The General had a feeling he knew where this was going. When the investigator opened his mouth he was proven right "Lieutenant Harrigan. Apparently this was hushed up as the Lieutenant was sent out on classified TDY soon afterwards. Major Beasley told his uncle in the senate, who called the chief of the air force, who called the head of OSI, who sent us here". The General slumped forward onto his desk, head in his hands "Damn, not again! It can't be buried this time; not when a senator knows. They're worse than reporters for flapping their lips at every opportunity". "We've also had several reports of various strange reports of the last officer's welcoming party" continued the OSI captain "Apparently, enough people went totally off the planet to suggest that a mild hallucinogen was added to the drinks at some stage. Sarge, start asking the other officers present if they or their partners were affected.". A quick "Sir!" and the OSI sergeant double- timed out of the office. "General" Shulton said "Your desire to protect your troops is understandable, but this Lieutenant has gone too far. My superiors had heard of some of his previous antics, and think that something has to be done now before someone gets seriously hurt, or it gets into the press. The adverse publicity is just what we don't need in this era of defence spending cutbacks" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- "OK, get started. You and your sergeant can stay in the VIP quarters" replied General Franklin "I'll set up an office in here for you". "Thank you, sir" said Captain Shulton.
General Franklin pressed a buzzer on his desk as soon as the OSI officer was out of earshot. His aide came rushing in "L-T, get over to Captain Lazarus' bunch and get them to make sure Harrigan keeps his head down. They've probably got a few days before the OSI's pet hunting dogs track them down. At the very least he'll get court-martialled for bringing the air force into disrepute. What else they'll hang on him I don't want to know. Go!". The Lieutenant ran out of the door at top speed for the personnel office to find out where they were.
All this was unknown to Lieutenant Harrigan and friends, who at that time were 30,000 feet up in the shuttle trainer. "No, L-T! No tricks! The shuttle's not very manoevreable, and this trainer has been rigged to duplicate the real thing" cautioned the instructor. "We'll end up splatted all over the place. You're doing very well. Mary, you next". Harrigan leaned back, muttering various remarks along the lines of "No fun", "Paranoid instructors" and "Manoevres like a lead turd" under his breath. "Keep it safe, Lieutenant" added the corporal, somewhat green around the gills "That wasn't nice". About half an hour later, Mary had finished her first training flight. "Very good, the pair of you. Another couple of weeks and you should be ready for your first orbital flight. Now let's get this thing back on the ground. You'll have to go in the full-motion sim to learn how to manoevre in orbit, including docking at the international space station if repairs are required, as well as zero-g tolerance training. It's tricky, but as both of you have military flight experience, it shouldn't take as long as it usually does". The instructor went to turn back to the main runway at Canaveral, but after Harrigan's incessant pestering relinquished the controls. "Harrigan has the airplane" he muttered, waggling the stick to verify this. Harrigan pulled a large inside loop to start, which resulted in the corporal puking all over the floor. "Ha! You'll have to do better than that, Corp!" he laughed as he pitched over and headed for the deck. "This damn thing's so sluggish I'll stick to a low flyby of the tower before landing. At least the corporal there doesn't have anything else to puke up"
General Franklin had just turned up in the tower, completely unaware that Harrigan's team were airborne and heading towards the tower nap-of-the- earth. "How's the weather? I've got my qualification flight in a few minutes" he asked the ground control officer. "Fine, sir" he replied "Clear to 30,000. You'll have no problems today". "Not in the plane anyway" grumbled General Franklin "Damned OSI stormtroopers...". The General and his instructor suited up and climbed into a neaby T-38 trainer. "OK, General. Take her out" said the instructor.
"Shuttle trainer, this is Canaveral tower. T-38 trainer on qualification flight in you area. Please proceed with caution" crackled the speaker. "We see him, Tower" replied Mary at the comm gear "Who's in there?". "The General himself. So don't buzz him, Harrigan!" ordered Canaveral tower. Harrigan immediately adjusted their heading to intercept the T-38. "Pass the mike, Mary" Harrigan asked "And turn the IFF off altogether". The instructor was not happy with that last order "What are you playing at, Lieutenant?!" he shouted. "Ahh, don't worry, your trainer and the General will both be quite safe. Although his IP may be a bit rattled after this" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Lieutenant Harrigan thumbed the transmit button and said in a bad Russian accent "Unknown aircraft, this is Voyska PVO flight of two MiG-29's. You are entering restricted airspace. Please turn around or we will be forced to fire". Harrigan released the button "Let's see how the IP handles this" he sniggered.
In the T-38, there was some confusion as to what was happening. "Who is this joker?!" growled th IP. "Some hotshot F-16 pilot? I'll have his balls for breakfast if he doesn't bear off". "That voice sounds a little familiar, can't think where from" muttered the General. "Bear off!!" yelled the instuctor over the radio "This isn't funny. I've got General Franklin in here. You'll be out on your ear if he's hurt. Bear off!!".
In the shuttle trainer, Harrigan smiled. "General Franklin's requalification flight. He might recognise me. We'll see"
"Hook me into the comm, Captain, and put yourself on interphone only. I think I know who he is" the General said, catching on. "Russian aircraft, this is General Franklin" called the General on GUARD. "Please excuse my pilot, he's unused to dealing with foreigners". Then, whispering, "Harrigan?" he queried. "Da, comrade general" Harrigan replied in his bad Russian accent. "The instructor hasn't worked out it's you. Give us a couple of minutes and buzz him fast and close before you land. I'll need a word with you too, so don't go anywhere after you land".
"Ha!" Harrigan laughed "The General's in the mood for some fun. Strap down, guys! Oh, and you too, Mary. Tally ho!". The instructor had retreated to the spare flight engineer's seat. After letting the T-38 get further away, Harrigan thumbed the transmit button again "Unknown aircraft. If you do not turn away now, I will be forced to fire" he said in his atrocious accent. Harrigan pulled a sharp turn and headed for the T-38 at full speed.
"What's this loony up to?!" yelled General Franklin's instructor "Tower, this joker's on a intercept course at high speed!". "Just then Harrigan's plane shot past the T-38 close enough and fast enough to buffet the trainer. "Shit! Shit!" the instructor howled "I'll get that fool if it's the last thing I do!". General Franklin laughed "Don't worry about it. I think I know who it was" He called Lieutenant Harrigan on GUARD again "Russian aircraft, very good flying. I think you made my IP take a dump down his flight suit. Not quite so close in future, Harrigan". After some familiar laughter, Harrigan continued "Having fun, General?". "Yeah, you haven't lost your edge, have you?" the General replied "Almost gave my copilot a heart attack though. Let's get back on the ground. You first". Harrigan glanced at his fuel gauges "Spoilsport IP. Yeah, I'd better get down, fuel's a bit low". Flipping frequencies, Harrigan called the tower "Canaveral tower, requesting priority landing for low fuel. Please respond". The tower came back with "Yeah, you're clear to land immediately Lieutenant. You'll have to rein in your fooling around before it gets reined in for you. General, you have the following slot. Tower out"
After the shuttle trainer was put back in its hangar, Harrigan, Mary and the still somewhat unstable corporal walked off tho the officer's club. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- While Harrigan and Mary both ordered lunch, the corporal settled for a Coke as his insides were still unsettled from the hard manoevreing. About half an hour later, the General walked in. "Over here, General!" yelled Mary. The General turned at the sound of her voice and sat down at their table. After ordering a snack, General Franklin got started. "Whatever you've got going will have to get fast-tracked. You've been stung, Harrigan. Major Beasley used his family's contacts to get two OSI investigators down here. The chief investigator, a Captain Shulton, says you assaulted Beasley on the night of the last officer's welcoming party. I thought you were in jail then?". Harrigan looked around to make sure no one else was listening, and then told General Franklin the whole story. "Remember the power outage that night, sir" Harrigan asked. The General nodded and Harrigan continued "Those stupid cell doors were government- contract-lowest-bidder standard and locked open instead of closed. So I slipped out the back and went down to the main auditorium where the party was. I came in through the service entrance and met Beasely coming the other way. So I tapped him on the head, cuffed him with stuff I'd taken off the now-slumbering gate guard, relieved him of his uniform, and went to talk to a couple of other officers I knew". General Franklin interrupted with "So that's what happened. I wondered why the Major's uniform didn't fit so well. It was you wearing it. You spec-ops guys can really try my patience. Either your practical jokery or Lazarus hitting people".
Harrigan spat up half his Coke in astonishment. "Yeah, you heard right. Two years ago, your Captain cold-cocked a foreign exchange Colonel from Saudi Arabia because the way he was acting towards one of the female officers. Laid him out with one punch in the middle of the dance floor. Then dragged him out, stripped his uniform off, and gaffer-taped him to the lamp post. His aide found him next morning. We never heard from either of them again. No great loss there, but it got your Captain a reputation around here as a bit of a headcase". Harrigan picked up where he left off "Well, after I'd talked to who I needed to talk to, I slipped out the back way, put something in the punch, gave Beasely back his Class A's, and got back into my cell about ten seconds before emergency power came back on". "You idiot, Harrigan!" the General shouted "Not only did that cause havoc among the security detachment, but my wife was in the hospital that night from a reaction to that muck!". For the first time since the incident, Harrigan appeared genuinely sorry "I'm really sorry about that sir." Harrigan replied, downcast. "Really, sir. I would have given the two of you a warning, but I didn't see either of you". "It was that night that Captain Lazarus buttonholed me about some mission he needed you for, wasn't it? I won't ask what for" asked the General. "That's right, sir. And I wouldn't tell you anyway, sir. You know how it is. Anyway you'll probably figure it out yourself when things start happening. Gotta go, more sim training tomorrow".
Mary and the corporal followed him out. "We've got to find the Captain. He'll need to know that those OSI nutters are here" whispered Harrigan. "What about DK?" replied Mary. "Whoops! Forgot!" Harrigan pulled out his phone and punched in DK's number. "Hello?" came the faint reply. "DK, it's Harrigan. We've got a problem" Harrigan started, but DK cut him off "I'll be around the barracks tomorrow, 9am. Tell me then. I'm in the office. My colleagues don't need to hear this" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- DK thumbed his phone off and slumped over his desk, head in his hands. Why, oh why, can't something on the Farscape project go right, he wondered. Then he grabbed a pile of printouts and a CD from his desk. The contents of the CD were quite interesting to any hacker that got hold of them, and would probably get him arrested or fired if he was found with it in his possession. He walked quickly out of his office, past several slightly surprised workmates, and down the corridor. After a couple of turns he arrived at the server room door, which had been left ajar. DK noticed a sign on the door. Looking closer, he read "Coffee break. Back shortly" written in capitals on the cardboard sheet hanging off the doorknob. DK frantically searched his mind for the identity of the duty sysop for that week. After a few anxious seconds, a chart on the wall drew his attention. It had the duty roster on it. DK ran his finger across the chart until he found out who had the duty for the current week. After finding out, he laughed "It would have to be, wouldn't it! Rob 'Caffeine' Hackett, remembered basewide for one-hour coffee breaks and three-hour lunches whenever he can get away with it. Considering it's Friday evening, he's probably burning rubber towards the nearest Starbucks, if he's not there already. Oh well, that gives me a bit more time".
DK quickly shut and locked the door. He switched on the main system console, which prompted him for a passcode. Since he couldn't get administrator rights with his own code, he started rummaging through the desk drawers and the piles of assorted detritus in the room that usually congregate around computers. After a couple of minutes, he found it written on a business card for the local internet café. Shaking his head at the stupidity of Rob Hackett, he tapped the access code in and put his special CD in the drive. After the computer let him in and booted up the CD, DK brought up one of the programs and opened the sysop's control panel. The program let him bypass the codeword required, which was good seeing as Hackett didn't write it down. DK then went to work setting up a special account with admin privileges for them to use to override the flight control room when the time came, plus a couple of little suprises he hoped he'd not have to use.
DK had just shoved his CD back in his pocket, when he heard footsteps. He quickly unlocked the room and bolted down the corridor the other way. When he poked his head out, he saw Rob Hackett walking back in, with a couple of Burger King bags in one hand, a two litre bottle of Pepsi in the other and a copy of PC Gamer under his chin.
"He'll be so busy stuffing his face and searching bootleg gaming sites, he won't notice anything" muttered DK as he made his way back to the office. When he got in, only one clerk was there. "Everyone else has gone home" she replied after DK asked where everyone was "There's one memo for you on your desk, but that's it. I'm off" and ran out the door and down the stairs to her car. "Hmm..." DK pondered, picking up the memo. After scanning the sheet once, he realised the others would need to know ASAP.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- The sun rose that Saturday morning over a very edgy Captain Lazarus and Lieutenant Harrigan. "Where the hell's DK?" growled the Captain. "I'll have to send someone out to get him". "Don't bother, Cap" Harrigan replied "I'll walk over there now. He shouldn't be too long".
Harrigan jogged over to the nearest drink machine. He was just grabbing the can when DK came up behind him. "One for me too please, Harrigan. I need it." he asked. "Where on earth have you been?" Harrigan replied testily after passing DK his drink "The Captain was just about to send out the cavalry to find you". "Found out something you might need to know. But I'd left the note in my office, so I had to go back and get it". The pair of them walked back to the barracks, so DK could catch his breath.
"Look what I found, Captain!" yelled Harrigan. "Can I keep him?". "Pipe down, Harrigan, before the whole base hears you" the Captain replied. The he turned to DK "You're late". "Sorry, guys" DK said ruefully "I'd found out something useful, but left the paper in my office. Here it is" he finished, holding it up. "Possibly a bright ray of sunshine on this dark and gloomy day. Will wonders never cease?" said Captain Lazarus. He turned to address the other two "Right, you two. Situation is as follows. B-A-D, bad. Harrigan, you first". Harrigan continued in the same vein as the Captain "Definitely bad news. General Franklin collared me yesterday and warned us that two OSI investigators are on base. They're not aware of our mission, but they might put two and two together and figure it out anyway". "Who sent them?" DK asked. "Officially, chief of the air force" replied Harrigan "But when I relieved Major Beasley of his uniform to get into that party at the O-Club without being recognised, he got on the phone to his uncle the following day, who happens to be a senator. Uncle senator yells at the chief of the air force to do something, and he passes it along to OSI. Then the big bad wolf comes along in the form of an OSI captain and sergeant, to huff and puff and blow the base down. General Franklin can stonewall them for a while, but after a few days they'll smell a rat". Captain Lazarus shook his head slowly "I told you your jokery would backfire sooner or later, Harrigan" lamented the Captain "I just hope we get out of this without court-martials, followed by an all expenses paid trip to Leavenworth, breaking big rocks into little rocks. DK" he continued "how about you?".
"Good news, I think" DK started "That weather satellite launch we were going to use in one week has been cancelled. The NRO want to launch another spybird right now. Good news is, the shuttle Enterprise is being prepped as we speak, to launch two days from now. The truck carrying the satellite arrives tomorrow. IASA is providing the crew, but the satellite will be accompanied by a military guard to supervise the loading procedure. The note I got says six men".
"OK. Harrigan, you and Mary will have to deal with the guards yourselves" said Captain Lazarus "I'll take five men with DK and his ground crew. Unfortunately, there aren't any command trailers available. We'll either have to hack the control room from somewhere else, or get our people on that shift. DK?". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- "Can do, Captain" DK replied. Harrigan gave him an odd look, so DK explained "I managed to get to the main system console while the sysop went out for coffee. We've got admin access to ground control systems and duty rosters now. It shouldn't be noticed; as long as I don't stay on too long anyway."
Mary, who had been quiet so far, piped up "What about money?" she asked "The US dollar might get you everywhere on Earth, but we're going off world. If there's anyone to trade with out there, we might need to buy a few things. Bribe a guard or two. Or perhaps repairs to our shuttle, even get access to another ship.". Captain Lazarus responded "That's your job for the day. Take Harrigan and get the money changed to gold bars or precious stones. Harrigan knows where I keep the keys to my humvee. The money's in my office safe". Mary and Harrigan raced off to the humvee. Mary spun the wheels and it took off for the barracks well over the base speed limit "She's as mad as he is" the Captain muttered under his breath. "Corp!" barked Lazarus. "Yes, sir?" he replied. "I hope you're up for a trip to the armoury. We'll go and get their guns. Harrigan'll probably take that G8 he conned out of the armourer, but he'll need sidearms and body armour as well. You and Mary will need the full kit; pistol, rifle, and armour". "But, Captain" the corporal replied "You've heard how useless I am with a rifle. I can't hit a thing past 50m!". "Hmm..." pondered the Captain "Yes, that's right. You're getting a CAWS instead" he decided. "I'm not too bad with a shotgun, actually. I hunt a little when I can" the corporal said, somewhat more happily. "Good! Let's move, we're going shopping" replied Captain Lazarus, grinning.
The humvee screeched to a stop outside the ready room. "This way, Mary" said Harrigan as he shoved the door open. They took a left turn and found a door with the Captain's nameplate on it. Harrigan straight-armed the door, and walked straight across the room and behind the desk. After opening the cupboard doors, a large safe was revealed. Harrigan punched in the entry code and turned the large handle, opened the door, and stared bug- eyed at the amount of cash revealed. Bags of bundled hundred-dollar and fifty-dollar notes packed the safe from top to bottom, and each bag was packed to capacity. Mary brought him back to reality with a tap on the shoulder and "Come on Harrigan! We don't have all day!". Harrigan grabbed a bag in each hand and one between his teeth, and bolted for the humvee. After almost tripping over one of the bags after opening the humvee's boot, Harrigan returned and narrowly avoided running straight into Mary carrying two full moneybags. "Come on, fumble-foot!" she growled "We haven't finished yet!". Harrigan shrugged, and went back in for some more bags.
About half way through their haul, Harrigan stopped dead just before the humvee. Mary, somewhat perplexed at Harrigan's unusual action, tried to ask "What's up?" but Harrigan's left hand shot out at waist level in the signal for "Enemy seen". He pointed out exactly where they were seen to Mary. "They're OSI, aren't they John?" she whispered. Harrigan nodded. "Let's get this thing loaded, quick" he muttered "The sooner we're out of here, the less chance we have of being collared". The pair of them shifted the entire contents of the safe into the back of the humvee fifteen minutes later. Harrigan slipped the vehicle into gear and rolled slowly out of the immediate area. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- As soon as they had lost sight of the two OSI investigators, Mary barked "Go!". Harrigan slammed his foot to the floor, spun the wheels, and shot out of the base (although he did remember to stop long enough to get the gate guard to open the gate first; after all, they needed to remain inconspicuous and a smashed gate and scared guard wouldn't help matters).
When they were clear of the immediate base area, Harrigan eased back below the legal limit. "Damn OSI goons" Harrigan muttered. Mary turned towards him, surprised at the venom in his tone. "What did they do?" she queried. By the way his head snapped round and his voice rose, she knew she'd hit a nerve. "WHAT HAVE THEY DONE?!" he thundered. "Sorry, Mary. You didn't deserve that. After all, you're not with them.". Then Harrigan turned his attention back to the road, and explained the history of his dislike of the OSI in general (and investigators in particular) in a more subdued tone of voice. "My unit doesn't get on well with them. We're special ops, they're regulars – and police at that. Most of our troops like to party hard when off duty, which has led to courts-martial for a large portion of the unit, mostly for brawling or drunk & disorderly. Although, I'm pleased to add," Harrigan sniggered nastily "(a) We usually kept our fighting amongst military personnel, and (b) whenever the various service's MPs came to sort us out, we'd all club together and pile into them instead. So, a lot of us have fairly bad rap sheets in our personnel files. Thus a lot of the more rulebound officers and military coppers don't like us much. We're lucky we've got General Franklin right now, he's worked with us spec-ops types before". "Left at the lights" Mary ordered "I'm leading us to a distant relative in the jewellery trade; he should have what we need, or know those that do".
After a few more turns, they pulled up outside a shop in one of the more well-off areas of the city. It was clear to both of them that their weatherbeaten humvee was several tiers below what was considered a respectable vehicle in these parts. Harrigan looked from side to side, seeing lots of BMW's, Mercedes, Porsches, and similarly luxurious vehicles, but not one humvee. "Come on, John" Mary asked "Let's get this over with". "I'd better put this thing round by the delivery entrance; too many people are noticing us here" Harrigan replied. Mary jumped out, running inside the shop, while Harrigan parked the humvee in front of the delivery entrance, where it shouldn't attract so much unwelcome attention. When he'd made his way though the back entrance, he emerged into the main retail area, trailing two outraged employees asking all the usual variations on "Who the hell are you and what are you doing here?" with no effect whatsoever. "He's with me" Mary laughed. The man accompanying her waved his employees away, turning towards the Lieutenant. "Ah, and you must be this Lieutenant Harrigan my young relation has been telling me about". "This is Mr Levi, my grandfather's brother." Mary explained "He'll help us out". The man now in front of the Lieutenant was not particularly unusual; about five feet five inches tall (considerably shorter than Harrigan's six feet three, but only three inches below Mary's five feet eight), short beard, and a rapidly receding harline of white-grey hair. "At a profit, I'm sure" Harrigan replied. Mr Levi said "Naturally. This is a business, you know". "But that's not important right now. Is there anywhere private we can talk?" Harrigan asked. Mr Levi turned towards the door Harrigan came in by. "My office" he said "Follow me". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------
The corporal came out of the engineering training complex and collapsed on a nearby bench, clutching his head. "Ooh, damn!" he moaned "I've had to go over so many switch layouts and emergency procedures checklists I thought my brain would explode". Harrigan slapped him on the shoulder "Welcome to the wonderful world of the pilot" he said cheerfully "This is just the theory, not too hard. Wait until the full EP check ride comes up, then you'll know what mental stress is like. Come on, we'd better get to the barracks for PT. We'll have to do the run twice if we're late".
They turned up outside the barracks ten minutes later, having stopped for a drink on the way. "Oh, there you are, Harrigan. Get lost did you?" the Captain grumbled "For the next few weeks we will have a guest at these little treks of ours" Ten pairs of eyes swivelled round to look at the corporal. "Right, enough chitchat. It'll be a slightly shorter schedule for the next few weeks, as the mission that Lieutenant Harrigan and the new corporal are going on will not involve being chased through the desert by a company of Iraqi regulars. At least I don't think so". After the obligatory laughs and sniggers, Captain Lazarus cut in "OK, let's move! Down to the beach for three miles straight. And no cheating by staying on the hard-packed sand or you'll do it again! Go, go, go!!". The squad moved out towards the beach path, the corporal bringing up the rear. After about half the first leg of the run, it was becoming obvious that the corporal wasn't doing too well. Captain Lazarus called Harrigan over. "What's with the corporal?" he queried "This shouldn't be too bad, even for regular army. He shouldn't be huffing and puffing like that. How long since he even did the BFT?". Harrigan looked over at the corporal "Don't know, sir. But it doesn't look good, does it?". He then jogged back to the corporal "Stop for a minute, corp". The corporal stopped by the sea, puffing like a fish out of water. "How long has it been since you've done the BFT?" asked Harrigan (Author's note : The BFT is the military's Basic Fitness Test, last known by the author to be a three mile run, in running shorts, t-shirt and running shoes, within a fairly doable time limit for a soldier). He guessed it hadn't been recently, and was proven unfortunately right when the corporal replied "About six months, sir. Haven't had to do anything much beyond carrying a toolbox on my own. Air force union rules say you've got to have help with the heavier stuff. Haven't got near a rifle since the last yearly qualifier, either". "Shit-on-a-stick!" moaned Harrigan, head in hands "We'll have our work cut out for us if you're going to pass muster. You're barely going to have enough spare time to breathe for the next two to three months. I'll schedule you time on the range in the evenings. Pistol and rifle".
Harrigan and the corporal pulled up back at the barracks a good twenty minutes after everyone else. Captain Lazarus pulled Harrigan aside, where the Lieutenant explained the whole sorry situation. "Oh, well. At least he should remember enough of that not to shoot himself, or someone else, in the foot" the Captain said, resignedly.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Days and nights blurred into an indistinguishable tangle of brain and body punishment as training continued non-stop. Much to everyone else's surprise, the corporal turned out to be quite a good shot close-in, although longer range marksmanship left something to be desired. He picked up basic maintenance training for the shuttle much more quickly, going some way to offset his miserable fitness levels. Harrigan, glad to have some flying to look forward to, threw himself into the training full- force. This annoyed some of the regular trainees, as the Lieutenant would often reschedule simulator time on very short notice to check out some of the handling oddities of the shuttle or practice various emergency procedures. He did, however, complain loudly and often to anyone within earshot about not getting any real flying done.
Mary found the comm gear in the shuttle well within her existing capabilities. She used the free time to improve her shooting skills, embarrasing many of the MP's in contests after training was done. "She even beat the range sergeant in a pistol match" one of the other troopers remarked to Lieutenant Harrigan after one particularly strenuous day "That was something to see, sir! 499 out of a possible 500! The sarge lost 50 bucks on that one!" The corporal in question walked off smiling and counting his own winnings from the match.
Two weeks later, the group met in the ready room for a progress report. "Captain Lazarus pulled up a chair and started the meeting. "OK, first off, shooting. Corporal?". "Not bad, sir. I forgot how much fun pistol shooting is. Can't seem to get the hang of rifle though" he replied somewhat sheepishly. They had heard about that from the other members of Harrigan's squad. Give him a pistol, no problem; but give him a rifle and it would take divine intervention to get him to hit a human-size target at more than 50m. Captain Lazarus shook his head from side to side "It'll have to do. We don't have the time for more extensive firearms training. Mary?". "No prob, Captain" she replied happily "I must have won over $200 off various troops in there; pistol, rifle, and shotgun. The only one I lost was when they gave me a Barrett. Thankfully the damn thing had been zeroed, but I'd never even seen one before then. Damn recoil on a fifty really kills, too" she grimaced, rubbing her shoulder. "Ha! It'll do the regular grunts good to eat humble pie for a while" sniggered Captain Lazarus "OK, good so far. Harrigan?". "Same as usual sir. Great on pistol, except when Mary was there" She blew him a kiss, laughing a little. Harrigan squared his shoulders and went on "Hmph! Glad to get back on the heavy stuff though. Managed to get a HK G8 out of the armourer. You wouldn't believe that thing sir! The Germans call that thing the 'full- auto sniper rifle' and I can see why now. On semi-auto only one of those $10,000 custom jobs could beat it. All goes out the window on rock-and- roll, of course, but you can't have everything. The armourer's not getting that back, no way. Mine!". They all laughed at that. Harrigan's love for heavy weapons was well known; the bigger they were, the more he liked them.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- The next topic was raised by DK "How about flight theory? Harrigan?". "Not a problem" was the quick reply. "Tricky at first though; I hadn't seen a shuttle cockpit before. Shouldn't be any trouble if things go as planned. And we all know how likely that is, don't we?" Groans and laughs all round "But when are we going to get in the shuttle trainer for some real flying? Being groundbound is trying my damn patience". The Captain intervened with a "Pipe down L-T! You'll know soon enough! Mary?". "Comm gear's not a problem" she explained "Especially compared to some of the gear I've been stuck with in the past. Harrigan's forced me through basic flight training as well. I think he pushed me a bit harder than usual to make up for losing all those pistol matches". Harrigan quickly replied with "Not really. Mary learned fast. And having a qualified copilot would really help relieve the strain up there". The Captain marked that off on a clipboard "Corp?" he finished, addressing the last member of the group "Fine. I actually went out to one of the shuttles currently in storage. Managed to pick out something that the regular guys missed" Harrigan growled nastily at that. "Nothing flight-critical, as long is it was fixed right then. Which it was. Checked by three others as well and signed off" finished the corporal. "Good. Everything seems to be according to plan. Harrigan, there'll be time a-plenty for shredding maintenance techs after the mission. Save it till then".
DK's phone beeped suddenly, startling everyone. "Yeah?" he said into the phone "Really? ... Can do...We'll need an IP for the co-pilot as well...As long as they don't squeak to anyone we don't want to hear...Damn" sighed DK. Harrigan replied "What's up?". DK continued "Good news : We've got in at the front of the flight schedule for the shuttle trainer. Bad news : We only know one instructor who can be instructed to keep his mouth shut, so we'll have to stay up twice as long. That will get noticed before too long, so learn quick"
Things had just taken a turn for the worst at General Franklin's office, as two OSI investigators had turned up. "Yes!!" growled General Franklin "It better be good!". When they walked through the door, Franklin sighed "OK, what's up?". "I'm Captain Shulton, sir. The local senator received a complaint from a, hmm..." he consulted the sheet of paper in his left hand "Major Beasley. Apparently the Major was assaulted by, let's see...". The General had a feeling he knew where this was going. When the investigator opened his mouth he was proven right "Lieutenant Harrigan. Apparently this was hushed up as the Lieutenant was sent out on classified TDY soon afterwards. Major Beasley told his uncle in the senate, who called the chief of the air force, who called the head of OSI, who sent us here". The General slumped forward onto his desk, head in his hands "Damn, not again! It can't be buried this time; not when a senator knows. They're worse than reporters for flapping their lips at every opportunity". "We've also had several reports of various strange reports of the last officer's welcoming party" continued the OSI captain "Apparently, enough people went totally off the planet to suggest that a mild hallucinogen was added to the drinks at some stage. Sarge, start asking the other officers present if they or their partners were affected.". A quick "Sir!" and the OSI sergeant double- timed out of the office. "General" Shulton said "Your desire to protect your troops is understandable, but this Lieutenant has gone too far. My superiors had heard of some of his previous antics, and think that something has to be done now before someone gets seriously hurt, or it gets into the press. The adverse publicity is just what we don't need in this era of defence spending cutbacks" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- "OK, get started. You and your sergeant can stay in the VIP quarters" replied General Franklin "I'll set up an office in here for you". "Thank you, sir" said Captain Shulton.
General Franklin pressed a buzzer on his desk as soon as the OSI officer was out of earshot. His aide came rushing in "L-T, get over to Captain Lazarus' bunch and get them to make sure Harrigan keeps his head down. They've probably got a few days before the OSI's pet hunting dogs track them down. At the very least he'll get court-martialled for bringing the air force into disrepute. What else they'll hang on him I don't want to know. Go!". The Lieutenant ran out of the door at top speed for the personnel office to find out where they were.
All this was unknown to Lieutenant Harrigan and friends, who at that time were 30,000 feet up in the shuttle trainer. "No, L-T! No tricks! The shuttle's not very manoevreable, and this trainer has been rigged to duplicate the real thing" cautioned the instructor. "We'll end up splatted all over the place. You're doing very well. Mary, you next". Harrigan leaned back, muttering various remarks along the lines of "No fun", "Paranoid instructors" and "Manoevres like a lead turd" under his breath. "Keep it safe, Lieutenant" added the corporal, somewhat green around the gills "That wasn't nice". About half an hour later, Mary had finished her first training flight. "Very good, the pair of you. Another couple of weeks and you should be ready for your first orbital flight. Now let's get this thing back on the ground. You'll have to go in the full-motion sim to learn how to manoevre in orbit, including docking at the international space station if repairs are required, as well as zero-g tolerance training. It's tricky, but as both of you have military flight experience, it shouldn't take as long as it usually does". The instructor went to turn back to the main runway at Canaveral, but after Harrigan's incessant pestering relinquished the controls. "Harrigan has the airplane" he muttered, waggling the stick to verify this. Harrigan pulled a large inside loop to start, which resulted in the corporal puking all over the floor. "Ha! You'll have to do better than that, Corp!" he laughed as he pitched over and headed for the deck. "This damn thing's so sluggish I'll stick to a low flyby of the tower before landing. At least the corporal there doesn't have anything else to puke up"
General Franklin had just turned up in the tower, completely unaware that Harrigan's team were airborne and heading towards the tower nap-of-the- earth. "How's the weather? I've got my qualification flight in a few minutes" he asked the ground control officer. "Fine, sir" he replied "Clear to 30,000. You'll have no problems today". "Not in the plane anyway" grumbled General Franklin "Damned OSI stormtroopers...". The General and his instructor suited up and climbed into a neaby T-38 trainer. "OK, General. Take her out" said the instructor.
"Shuttle trainer, this is Canaveral tower. T-38 trainer on qualification flight in you area. Please proceed with caution" crackled the speaker. "We see him, Tower" replied Mary at the comm gear "Who's in there?". "The General himself. So don't buzz him, Harrigan!" ordered Canaveral tower. Harrigan immediately adjusted their heading to intercept the T-38. "Pass the mike, Mary" Harrigan asked "And turn the IFF off altogether". The instructor was not happy with that last order "What are you playing at, Lieutenant?!" he shouted. "Ahh, don't worry, your trainer and the General will both be quite safe. Although his IP may be a bit rattled after this" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Lieutenant Harrigan thumbed the transmit button and said in a bad Russian accent "Unknown aircraft, this is Voyska PVO flight of two MiG-29's. You are entering restricted airspace. Please turn around or we will be forced to fire". Harrigan released the button "Let's see how the IP handles this" he sniggered.
In the T-38, there was some confusion as to what was happening. "Who is this joker?!" growled th IP. "Some hotshot F-16 pilot? I'll have his balls for breakfast if he doesn't bear off". "That voice sounds a little familiar, can't think where from" muttered the General. "Bear off!!" yelled the instuctor over the radio "This isn't funny. I've got General Franklin in here. You'll be out on your ear if he's hurt. Bear off!!".
In the shuttle trainer, Harrigan smiled. "General Franklin's requalification flight. He might recognise me. We'll see"
"Hook me into the comm, Captain, and put yourself on interphone only. I think I know who he is" the General said, catching on. "Russian aircraft, this is General Franklin" called the General on GUARD. "Please excuse my pilot, he's unused to dealing with foreigners". Then, whispering, "Harrigan?" he queried. "Da, comrade general" Harrigan replied in his bad Russian accent. "The instructor hasn't worked out it's you. Give us a couple of minutes and buzz him fast and close before you land. I'll need a word with you too, so don't go anywhere after you land".
"Ha!" Harrigan laughed "The General's in the mood for some fun. Strap down, guys! Oh, and you too, Mary. Tally ho!". The instructor had retreated to the spare flight engineer's seat. After letting the T-38 get further away, Harrigan thumbed the transmit button again "Unknown aircraft. If you do not turn away now, I will be forced to fire" he said in his atrocious accent. Harrigan pulled a sharp turn and headed for the T-38 at full speed.
"What's this loony up to?!" yelled General Franklin's instructor "Tower, this joker's on a intercept course at high speed!". "Just then Harrigan's plane shot past the T-38 close enough and fast enough to buffet the trainer. "Shit! Shit!" the instructor howled "I'll get that fool if it's the last thing I do!". General Franklin laughed "Don't worry about it. I think I know who it was" He called Lieutenant Harrigan on GUARD again "Russian aircraft, very good flying. I think you made my IP take a dump down his flight suit. Not quite so close in future, Harrigan". After some familiar laughter, Harrigan continued "Having fun, General?". "Yeah, you haven't lost your edge, have you?" the General replied "Almost gave my copilot a heart attack though. Let's get back on the ground. You first". Harrigan glanced at his fuel gauges "Spoilsport IP. Yeah, I'd better get down, fuel's a bit low". Flipping frequencies, Harrigan called the tower "Canaveral tower, requesting priority landing for low fuel. Please respond". The tower came back with "Yeah, you're clear to land immediately Lieutenant. You'll have to rein in your fooling around before it gets reined in for you. General, you have the following slot. Tower out"
After the shuttle trainer was put back in its hangar, Harrigan, Mary and the still somewhat unstable corporal walked off tho the officer's club. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- While Harrigan and Mary both ordered lunch, the corporal settled for a Coke as his insides were still unsettled from the hard manoevreing. About half an hour later, the General walked in. "Over here, General!" yelled Mary. The General turned at the sound of her voice and sat down at their table. After ordering a snack, General Franklin got started. "Whatever you've got going will have to get fast-tracked. You've been stung, Harrigan. Major Beasley used his family's contacts to get two OSI investigators down here. The chief investigator, a Captain Shulton, says you assaulted Beasley on the night of the last officer's welcoming party. I thought you were in jail then?". Harrigan looked around to make sure no one else was listening, and then told General Franklin the whole story. "Remember the power outage that night, sir" Harrigan asked. The General nodded and Harrigan continued "Those stupid cell doors were government- contract-lowest-bidder standard and locked open instead of closed. So I slipped out the back and went down to the main auditorium where the party was. I came in through the service entrance and met Beasely coming the other way. So I tapped him on the head, cuffed him with stuff I'd taken off the now-slumbering gate guard, relieved him of his uniform, and went to talk to a couple of other officers I knew". General Franklin interrupted with "So that's what happened. I wondered why the Major's uniform didn't fit so well. It was you wearing it. You spec-ops guys can really try my patience. Either your practical jokery or Lazarus hitting people".
Harrigan spat up half his Coke in astonishment. "Yeah, you heard right. Two years ago, your Captain cold-cocked a foreign exchange Colonel from Saudi Arabia because the way he was acting towards one of the female officers. Laid him out with one punch in the middle of the dance floor. Then dragged him out, stripped his uniform off, and gaffer-taped him to the lamp post. His aide found him next morning. We never heard from either of them again. No great loss there, but it got your Captain a reputation around here as a bit of a headcase". Harrigan picked up where he left off "Well, after I'd talked to who I needed to talk to, I slipped out the back way, put something in the punch, gave Beasely back his Class A's, and got back into my cell about ten seconds before emergency power came back on". "You idiot, Harrigan!" the General shouted "Not only did that cause havoc among the security detachment, but my wife was in the hospital that night from a reaction to that muck!". For the first time since the incident, Harrigan appeared genuinely sorry "I'm really sorry about that sir." Harrigan replied, downcast. "Really, sir. I would have given the two of you a warning, but I didn't see either of you". "It was that night that Captain Lazarus buttonholed me about some mission he needed you for, wasn't it? I won't ask what for" asked the General. "That's right, sir. And I wouldn't tell you anyway, sir. You know how it is. Anyway you'll probably figure it out yourself when things start happening. Gotta go, more sim training tomorrow".
Mary and the corporal followed him out. "We've got to find the Captain. He'll need to know that those OSI nutters are here" whispered Harrigan. "What about DK?" replied Mary. "Whoops! Forgot!" Harrigan pulled out his phone and punched in DK's number. "Hello?" came the faint reply. "DK, it's Harrigan. We've got a problem" Harrigan started, but DK cut him off "I'll be around the barracks tomorrow, 9am. Tell me then. I'm in the office. My colleagues don't need to hear this" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- DK thumbed his phone off and slumped over his desk, head in his hands. Why, oh why, can't something on the Farscape project go right, he wondered. Then he grabbed a pile of printouts and a CD from his desk. The contents of the CD were quite interesting to any hacker that got hold of them, and would probably get him arrested or fired if he was found with it in his possession. He walked quickly out of his office, past several slightly surprised workmates, and down the corridor. After a couple of turns he arrived at the server room door, which had been left ajar. DK noticed a sign on the door. Looking closer, he read "Coffee break. Back shortly" written in capitals on the cardboard sheet hanging off the doorknob. DK frantically searched his mind for the identity of the duty sysop for that week. After a few anxious seconds, a chart on the wall drew his attention. It had the duty roster on it. DK ran his finger across the chart until he found out who had the duty for the current week. After finding out, he laughed "It would have to be, wouldn't it! Rob 'Caffeine' Hackett, remembered basewide for one-hour coffee breaks and three-hour lunches whenever he can get away with it. Considering it's Friday evening, he's probably burning rubber towards the nearest Starbucks, if he's not there already. Oh well, that gives me a bit more time".
DK quickly shut and locked the door. He switched on the main system console, which prompted him for a passcode. Since he couldn't get administrator rights with his own code, he started rummaging through the desk drawers and the piles of assorted detritus in the room that usually congregate around computers. After a couple of minutes, he found it written on a business card for the local internet café. Shaking his head at the stupidity of Rob Hackett, he tapped the access code in and put his special CD in the drive. After the computer let him in and booted up the CD, DK brought up one of the programs and opened the sysop's control panel. The program let him bypass the codeword required, which was good seeing as Hackett didn't write it down. DK then went to work setting up a special account with admin privileges for them to use to override the flight control room when the time came, plus a couple of little suprises he hoped he'd not have to use.
DK had just shoved his CD back in his pocket, when he heard footsteps. He quickly unlocked the room and bolted down the corridor the other way. When he poked his head out, he saw Rob Hackett walking back in, with a couple of Burger King bags in one hand, a two litre bottle of Pepsi in the other and a copy of PC Gamer under his chin.
"He'll be so busy stuffing his face and searching bootleg gaming sites, he won't notice anything" muttered DK as he made his way back to the office. When he got in, only one clerk was there. "Everyone else has gone home" she replied after DK asked where everyone was "There's one memo for you on your desk, but that's it. I'm off" and ran out the door and down the stairs to her car. "Hmm..." DK pondered, picking up the memo. After scanning the sheet once, he realised the others would need to know ASAP.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- The sun rose that Saturday morning over a very edgy Captain Lazarus and Lieutenant Harrigan. "Where the hell's DK?" growled the Captain. "I'll have to send someone out to get him". "Don't bother, Cap" Harrigan replied "I'll walk over there now. He shouldn't be too long".
Harrigan jogged over to the nearest drink machine. He was just grabbing the can when DK came up behind him. "One for me too please, Harrigan. I need it." he asked. "Where on earth have you been?" Harrigan replied testily after passing DK his drink "The Captain was just about to send out the cavalry to find you". "Found out something you might need to know. But I'd left the note in my office, so I had to go back and get it". The pair of them walked back to the barracks, so DK could catch his breath.
"Look what I found, Captain!" yelled Harrigan. "Can I keep him?". "Pipe down, Harrigan, before the whole base hears you" the Captain replied. The he turned to DK "You're late". "Sorry, guys" DK said ruefully "I'd found out something useful, but left the paper in my office. Here it is" he finished, holding it up. "Possibly a bright ray of sunshine on this dark and gloomy day. Will wonders never cease?" said Captain Lazarus. He turned to address the other two "Right, you two. Situation is as follows. B-A-D, bad. Harrigan, you first". Harrigan continued in the same vein as the Captain "Definitely bad news. General Franklin collared me yesterday and warned us that two OSI investigators are on base. They're not aware of our mission, but they might put two and two together and figure it out anyway". "Who sent them?" DK asked. "Officially, chief of the air force" replied Harrigan "But when I relieved Major Beasley of his uniform to get into that party at the O-Club without being recognised, he got on the phone to his uncle the following day, who happens to be a senator. Uncle senator yells at the chief of the air force to do something, and he passes it along to OSI. Then the big bad wolf comes along in the form of an OSI captain and sergeant, to huff and puff and blow the base down. General Franklin can stonewall them for a while, but after a few days they'll smell a rat". Captain Lazarus shook his head slowly "I told you your jokery would backfire sooner or later, Harrigan" lamented the Captain "I just hope we get out of this without court-martials, followed by an all expenses paid trip to Leavenworth, breaking big rocks into little rocks. DK" he continued "how about you?".
"Good news, I think" DK started "That weather satellite launch we were going to use in one week has been cancelled. The NRO want to launch another spybird right now. Good news is, the shuttle Enterprise is being prepped as we speak, to launch two days from now. The truck carrying the satellite arrives tomorrow. IASA is providing the crew, but the satellite will be accompanied by a military guard to supervise the loading procedure. The note I got says six men".
"OK. Harrigan, you and Mary will have to deal with the guards yourselves" said Captain Lazarus "I'll take five men with DK and his ground crew. Unfortunately, there aren't any command trailers available. We'll either have to hack the control room from somewhere else, or get our people on that shift. DK?". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- "Can do, Captain" DK replied. Harrigan gave him an odd look, so DK explained "I managed to get to the main system console while the sysop went out for coffee. We've got admin access to ground control systems and duty rosters now. It shouldn't be noticed; as long as I don't stay on too long anyway."
Mary, who had been quiet so far, piped up "What about money?" she asked "The US dollar might get you everywhere on Earth, but we're going off world. If there's anyone to trade with out there, we might need to buy a few things. Bribe a guard or two. Or perhaps repairs to our shuttle, even get access to another ship.". Captain Lazarus responded "That's your job for the day. Take Harrigan and get the money changed to gold bars or precious stones. Harrigan knows where I keep the keys to my humvee. The money's in my office safe". Mary and Harrigan raced off to the humvee. Mary spun the wheels and it took off for the barracks well over the base speed limit "She's as mad as he is" the Captain muttered under his breath. "Corp!" barked Lazarus. "Yes, sir?" he replied. "I hope you're up for a trip to the armoury. We'll go and get their guns. Harrigan'll probably take that G8 he conned out of the armourer, but he'll need sidearms and body armour as well. You and Mary will need the full kit; pistol, rifle, and armour". "But, Captain" the corporal replied "You've heard how useless I am with a rifle. I can't hit a thing past 50m!". "Hmm..." pondered the Captain "Yes, that's right. You're getting a CAWS instead" he decided. "I'm not too bad with a shotgun, actually. I hunt a little when I can" the corporal said, somewhat more happily. "Good! Let's move, we're going shopping" replied Captain Lazarus, grinning.
The humvee screeched to a stop outside the ready room. "This way, Mary" said Harrigan as he shoved the door open. They took a left turn and found a door with the Captain's nameplate on it. Harrigan straight-armed the door, and walked straight across the room and behind the desk. After opening the cupboard doors, a large safe was revealed. Harrigan punched in the entry code and turned the large handle, opened the door, and stared bug- eyed at the amount of cash revealed. Bags of bundled hundred-dollar and fifty-dollar notes packed the safe from top to bottom, and each bag was packed to capacity. Mary brought him back to reality with a tap on the shoulder and "Come on Harrigan! We don't have all day!". Harrigan grabbed a bag in each hand and one between his teeth, and bolted for the humvee. After almost tripping over one of the bags after opening the humvee's boot, Harrigan returned and narrowly avoided running straight into Mary carrying two full moneybags. "Come on, fumble-foot!" she growled "We haven't finished yet!". Harrigan shrugged, and went back in for some more bags.
About half way through their haul, Harrigan stopped dead just before the humvee. Mary, somewhat perplexed at Harrigan's unusual action, tried to ask "What's up?" but Harrigan's left hand shot out at waist level in the signal for "Enemy seen". He pointed out exactly where they were seen to Mary. "They're OSI, aren't they John?" she whispered. Harrigan nodded. "Let's get this thing loaded, quick" he muttered "The sooner we're out of here, the less chance we have of being collared". The pair of them shifted the entire contents of the safe into the back of the humvee fifteen minutes later. Harrigan slipped the vehicle into gear and rolled slowly out of the immediate area. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- As soon as they had lost sight of the two OSI investigators, Mary barked "Go!". Harrigan slammed his foot to the floor, spun the wheels, and shot out of the base (although he did remember to stop long enough to get the gate guard to open the gate first; after all, they needed to remain inconspicuous and a smashed gate and scared guard wouldn't help matters).
When they were clear of the immediate base area, Harrigan eased back below the legal limit. "Damn OSI goons" Harrigan muttered. Mary turned towards him, surprised at the venom in his tone. "What did they do?" she queried. By the way his head snapped round and his voice rose, she knew she'd hit a nerve. "WHAT HAVE THEY DONE?!" he thundered. "Sorry, Mary. You didn't deserve that. After all, you're not with them.". Then Harrigan turned his attention back to the road, and explained the history of his dislike of the OSI in general (and investigators in particular) in a more subdued tone of voice. "My unit doesn't get on well with them. We're special ops, they're regulars – and police at that. Most of our troops like to party hard when off duty, which has led to courts-martial for a large portion of the unit, mostly for brawling or drunk & disorderly. Although, I'm pleased to add," Harrigan sniggered nastily "(a) We usually kept our fighting amongst military personnel, and (b) whenever the various service's MPs came to sort us out, we'd all club together and pile into them instead. So, a lot of us have fairly bad rap sheets in our personnel files. Thus a lot of the more rulebound officers and military coppers don't like us much. We're lucky we've got General Franklin right now, he's worked with us spec-ops types before". "Left at the lights" Mary ordered "I'm leading us to a distant relative in the jewellery trade; he should have what we need, or know those that do".
After a few more turns, they pulled up outside a shop in one of the more well-off areas of the city. It was clear to both of them that their weatherbeaten humvee was several tiers below what was considered a respectable vehicle in these parts. Harrigan looked from side to side, seeing lots of BMW's, Mercedes, Porsches, and similarly luxurious vehicles, but not one humvee. "Come on, John" Mary asked "Let's get this over with". "I'd better put this thing round by the delivery entrance; too many people are noticing us here" Harrigan replied. Mary jumped out, running inside the shop, while Harrigan parked the humvee in front of the delivery entrance, where it shouldn't attract so much unwelcome attention. When he'd made his way though the back entrance, he emerged into the main retail area, trailing two outraged employees asking all the usual variations on "Who the hell are you and what are you doing here?" with no effect whatsoever. "He's with me" Mary laughed. The man accompanying her waved his employees away, turning towards the Lieutenant. "Ah, and you must be this Lieutenant Harrigan my young relation has been telling me about". "This is Mr Levi, my grandfather's brother." Mary explained "He'll help us out". The man now in front of the Lieutenant was not particularly unusual; about five feet five inches tall (considerably shorter than Harrigan's six feet three, but only three inches below Mary's five feet eight), short beard, and a rapidly receding harline of white-grey hair. "At a profit, I'm sure" Harrigan replied. Mr Levi said "Naturally. This is a business, you know". "But that's not important right now. Is there anywhere private we can talk?" Harrigan asked. Mr Levi turned towards the door Harrigan came in by. "My office" he said "Follow me". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------