Title: In Bitter Hands
Author: Ashley (Nov.02)
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Ron/Draco
Summary: Justice has finally been carried out. However, it can't always be served.
Spoilers: None...I guess…
Warning: rape, angst, and character death.
Distribution: Ask and you shall receive!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter or HP related. pout
A/N: I want to dedicate this to Colin. Even though, if he were still here, he wouldn't appreciate the man on man action that's going on, he'd want me to do what I wanted. Wish you were still here with your friends and family.
Thanks: To Jux for the last minute help!
In Bitter Hands
5
The Golden Trio apparated back to Harry's house after checking in on George. He was manning the Diagon Alley store, which was a part of a dual celebration
"Are you ever going to move out?" asked Hermione as she walked into the main room on the lower level.
"Of course not. Remus needs me. He's getting so weak from all the transformations. He's getting worn out much quicker than usual. Plus, I'm all he really has anymore." Harry spoke mutely.
Ron and Hermione knew that it had to also deal with the fact that Harry knew nothing much of his father and still mourned the death of Sirius. Remus had lost all of his friends. Harry was the closest replacement to having lost his other companions. Remus was Harry's close friend. It was a give-take relationship but they were both content.
"Yeah. And Harry will be gone most of the time anyhow. Pretty wasteful to have a flat and never live there." Ron rationalized.
"Exactly." Harry shrugged out of his jacket. "I want to apologize for my behavior. I didn't mean any offense."
"Don't fret over it. I'm used to people being whiny babies over childish things. I am dating Draco Malfoy after all. He's just like you. Stubborn and set in his ways. Some good, most not. But I deal with it. I love him and I love you." Ron settled down onto the couch.
"Good to hear it."
Hermione sat down next to Ron. "So, what do you see in him?"
"Why is everyone so interested in how we feel about each other?"
"You must admit, you two are the least likely people to pair up." Harry stated.
Ron pondered it quickly. "Yes, you're right…I suppose. There has to be least likely couplings out there."
"No. None." Hermione commented.
"She's right."
"Oh Harry." Ron took a deep breath and released it. "I have no idea what I see in him. I guess it's what you all don't see. He can be funny and caring and nice and considerate. Draco cares for me in a way some of you can't. He's an outsider who's only known me – really known me – for a few months. His approach to helping is different and during that time he was what I needed, something unique. I care so much about him. I really can't explain my rationality towards him but I do know that I wouldn't be here today without him. If he left me…I don't want to think of that."
"Do you think you're dependent on him?" questioned Hermione.
"In the beginning, yes, of course. Why wouldn't I be? I thought just as you two that we were only dating because I was recovering from being raped. But once I realized that that wasn't the case, things settled into place. I believe that he's a bit dependent on me."
"I doubt that. No harm, Ron but he's a Malfoy first and foremost. He's got grandfather's trusts."
Ron glared at his dense friend. Sometimes he wondered how sane Harry must be ever since the whole savior deal ended. "Think of the love you have for Ginny. How does she make you feel?"
The raven-haired man reflected momentarily on the question. "Indescribably freeing. I'm finally the man I want to be when around her."
"Hermione, what about that Ravenclaw bloke I know you still write to. Though you're not dating him yet, how does it feel?"
"We're nothing serious. We skirt that issue. I just feel normal. It's as if I matter." She sighed dreamily.
"And that's what I feel. So stop hounding me, will ya?" Ron chuckled.
"Well, if we're being candid. I think my problem is that I haven't fully conceived the notion of you being gay." Harry said quietly. "I just jumped to you and Malfoy together."
"Everyone has done that."
"First off, this isn't some notion. I've known for a while now."
"Sorry. Wrong word on his idiotic part."
"I assumed."
"You just never seemed to fit any preconceived ideas of being gay."
"Harry's right. If anything, Harry's more likely to be gay."
"Yeah – wait! What?" Harry gasped as he sank into the armchair.
The other two laughed loudly at Harry's surprise.
"Exactly," began Ron, "but I was just good at lying."
"Very good. What else did Malfoy say to you?" Hermione asked as she turned to Ron, folding one leg between the space between her and her best friend.
"You heard him ask about if I wanted a key, correct?"
"Yes."
"He also asked if I would want to live with him."
Harry shook his head in silent protest.
"I don't know if that's the best idea." Hermione said cautiously.
"There you go again. That's what I'm talking about. He doesn't baby me. I want to. And then again I'm afraid to."
"What's this I hear? A Weasley afraid to do something?"
"Hullo Remus." Harry stood up and went over to his dear friend. The other man seemed more haggard than he had this morning. Perhaps his sinuses were flaring or fluid was building in his chest. Harry thought he heard some sort of rattling earlier. The younger of the two housemates took the tattered suitcase out of the elder's hand.
"Thank you. Now, what's this I hear about you Ron being afraid of something?"
"Oh Remus. How are you? I was just telling everyone that Draco asked if I wanted to move in with him since he recently got away from his father." The redhead turned around, speaking to the former professor over the back of the sofa.
"About that."
"Not you too. I've already explained myself to these two and constantly to my family. Everyday almost. I know. We're an unlikely pair. He's a Malfoy and they're evil. He's evil…slightly. I still care for him."
"I wasn't going to say anything about that. Today, Lucius filed for the complete removal of his son's name. I was going to ask you about that. But it doesn't seem like I need to ask anymore. Draco wants you to move in. I think you should go for it." Remus disappeared into the kitchen.
Ron was shocked. No one had ever not challenged the idea of Draco. He was elated though part of him liked the challenge and the attention. "Really?" He scrambled out off of the sofa and scurried into the kitchen.
"Of course. You need a bit of a distraction. You're life has been quite hectic as of late. Living with Draco will help to clear your mind before you go off to work with your brother. The trial must have you anxious and spending more time with your partner and out of the house can do some major good for you." The former Defense Against the Dark Arts professor eased himself onto a nearby stool.
"You're right. I just don't know. I mean we're getting to the point in our relationship where I feel comfortable with him. I'm beginning to really trust him."
"And by the sound of your voice you're contemplating taking the relationship to another level. One that's more physical I suppose?" Remus glanced at Ron with a look of knowing.
Ron's ears flushed at the tips. Was he really about to have this conversation with the older man he thought of as an uncle?
"Am I right? No need to be shy about it. I'm judging that you could never talk to your family about it, even with that sister of yours. They want to protect you first – and you can't talk to your two best friends because they grew up with Malfoy. They've seen more evil than good."
"You too have only seen that side."
Coughing into his shoulder, Remus pulled his robe tighter around him. "I have but that was only in class. I didn't interact with much or care less what Draco did outside of my domain."
"Right. Are you okay? Tea?"
"I've got a potion upstairs. I'll be fine. Go on."
"You're right. He's shown some interest in going the next step. I've tried…last night in fact. It being the one year anniversary of the incidents and all. I wanted to…be with him but I couldn't. The wounds are still to fresh."
"Everyone heals differently. A lot has happened. Harry was on the brink of death – our world depended on his recovery. Hermione's father was killed. You stood up for yourself, told your story and went after justice. You were raped by a family member. These past few months have been terrible for us all." His voice slowly quieted.
"You forgot about yourself. Your health in general is really questionable. I'm scared. Harry can't lose you too." Ron went to his favorite teacher and placed his arm around him. "You've just gotta get better."
"I will. I'll try." Remus smiled up at his former student, placing a hand on Ron's wrist. "But this isn't about me and my old body."
"I know. I'm just diffident when it comes to him seeing me. My scars, external and in. What if I'm not good enough? What if I do something wrong? What if I breakdown in the middle of it?" He plopped onto the seat next to Remus.
"Right - so this would be your first time being with a man…anyone in general-?"
Ron removed his arm from Remus' shoulders. "True. And as everything else comes back to it, I was violated. I know that sex isn't supposed to be that brutal but how do I really know unless I'm willing to find out? But then how can I try if the brutality keeps tainting each moment we try to get close?" Ron stared at his fidgeting fingers. He wished silently that those memories would leave him alone.
"Time. When the time feels right, you'll know. Once time heals your wounds, you'll know. Does Draco force you-?"
"Oh no! Never! But…it's getting to the point where his kisses are too sweet and hands too warm. I'm sorry to be talking this candid with you."
Remus chuckled. "Don't worry. That's why I'm here."
"Thank you. Just tell me to stop."
"I will."
"He has been very patient with me. I think I'm getting to the point where I trust him enough. Though, if he found a place with a spare bedroom, I'll be more than happy!"
"Of course."
"I'm just worried about my family's reaction."
"They want what's best for you. They seemed to receive Draco quite nicely this morning."
"It was morning." Ron sighed. "We Weasleys are not morning people. Plus Fred and George were excited about their opening. They'll ream into him later though."
"Draco can handle himself."
"But with those two?"
"Right…I see. Well, I don't know about those two but everyone else seemed fine with him."
"I hope so. He told me he loved me today. You do not know how hard it is to get him to show affection? And that hug in public? That was a rare occasion. I love him. And he loves me. Wow." Sighed Ron dreamily.
"Doesn't it feel wonderful?"
"Yes it does. So that's it? I'll move in with him?"
"Say it like you mean it so I can go and take that potion."
"I'm moving in with my boyfriend. Now, I'll have to talk to Ginny as soon as I can. He took her to go flat hunting."
"He's really trying to impress us."
"I told you, he cares about me and he knows how important you all are to me, especially Ginny. He had a talk with Dad today."
Remus eased himself up with Ron's aid. "He's really going out of his way. What's he planning? A marriage proposal?" He shuffled out the kitchen leaving a bewildered Ron behind.
"Marriage? No…not Draco." He hesitated. "Maybe?" Thought Ron aloud.
Hermione popped in. "So, what did you two talk about?"
"I'm going to take Draco up on his offer. I need the change of scenery. Besides, I really miss sleeping in a bed."
Nov.02: I know…I know. It's been a long while. Didn't mean for the span to go so long.
Draco: If you were off with that boy, you wouldn't have to be failing so miserably at an attempt to apologize. You were gone for about as long as you two were together. And what do you have to show for it?
Nov.02: Well…
Draco: Exactly. Nothing at all. You even lost him as a friend.
Nov.02: Thank you so much for putting my business out there. I hate you so bad. Besides, I stopped the updating during the middle of the relationship.
Ron: Leave her be or you'll be as sulky as she was.
Draco: Is that a threat?
Ron: It's certainly not idle.
Draco: Wow…I'm completely and utterly proud of you.
Ron: rolls his eyes and sighs And he's actually being sincere.
Nov.02: Yes, anyway…I'm feeling better and I've rediscovered the great people of Drama class so…I'm fine.
Ron: Of course! Now, Thank you fanficfan4life Harry needs to get knocked down every few once in a while. He's still a good person…when not being hero-y.
Thanks darkarc We like no critiques!
tHnX Desiree K Troy Perhaps it was out of place but you must remember this: November likes to be dramatic. A gap year is a period of time, typically a full year, where British kids may take a year off before going to university.
Thankies rupertsgurl Yes, I am too too cute.
Draco: What about me?
Nov.02: You're ugly. Continue, Ron.
Draco: simmers in corner
Ron: Thank you mintapotter We have finally updated! Hope you like it.
Thanks Aloh Dark I hope that by now you're feeling better. Don't be jealous! You write fantabulously!
Thank you much UniquePiksi LOVE BACK AT YOU!
Nov.02: And thanks to D-chan Those beginnings were really cutie-pie, romance. Though this has its moments, I'm trying to be a little more realistic. Glad you liked them though! The new kid would have been explained in the sequel…I should go back and revamp them…hmm…maybe over the summer.
Now, please enjoy!
Hugs&Kisses