Chapter 3
Before he interrupted them he had to look. It was amazed by the picture.
There was his daughter the same daughter that never let anyone touch her, kissing and hugging Ruthie. Ruthie blew raspberries into her stomach and his daughter giggled in delight.
"Lillian airplane", said Ruthie picking her up and making Lillian into an airplane.
They both laughed as if this was the greatest thing in the world. Martin felt his heart clench at the picture. Sandy was never this way with her. She never giggled with Lillian and made her feel special. And once again the thought that he wished that Ruthie was Lillian's mother crept back up again. Martin didn't want to interrupt them but he cleared his throat though. Ruthie looked up and almost gasped.
"Martin", sighed Ruthie.
He still had that affect on her. He came into her presence and she forgot to speak. Ruthie brought Lillian back down unto her hip. Lillian laid her head against Ruthie's shoulders like she belonged there. Martin wished once more that Ruthie was Lillian's mother. He wished it with his whole heart.
"I didn't mean to interrupt. I just went looking for Lily and I heard giggling", explain Martin.
Ruthie nodded her head.
"Yeah me and Lily go way back now, she and I are best-friends isn't that right Lily Bean", asked Ruthie tickling the little girl's belly making her laugh out loud.
Martin smiled at the picture they made together in each other's arms. He smiled at Ruthie's nick name for his daughter. It was perfect to him. These two dark haired women have stolen his heart and he didn't want it back.
"Well it is way past Lily's bedtime, umm your mom invited us to stay here", said Martin looking down at his hand.
Ruthie tried to control her breathing. Martin was staying her, right here in her home. She felt butterflies in her stomach. She still loved him so much. How could she not. He was her heart. He still was the keeper to her heart. Ruthie nodded her head and walked up to Martin giving him Lily but Lily started to fuss refusing to let go of Ruthie.
"Ahh I see I'm not wanted", laughed Martin.
Ruthie tried once more but Lily clung to her.
"No Rutea", said Lillian nodding her head and lay it back down on Ruthie's shoulders.
Ruthie gave him an "I'm so sorry" look. Martin held up his hand and said, "its okay I understand why my daughter would want to have you in her presence, I understand all to well", said Martin. Ruthie gasped and looked at him.
His face showed her how serious he was. She knew he still loved her. It was hard to swallow all of a sudden.
"Martin", whispered Ruthie.
Martin tilted her head back making her looking into his eyes.
"Ruthie Camden, it doesn't matter how many years we are not around each other my feelings have never changed", said Martin rubbing her cheeks.
Ruthie closed her eyes trying not to cry again.
"We can't Martin, you know why", said Ruthie.
"But its different now, you are older", said Martin.
"I know it's just that", said Ruthie.
"What baby why?" asked Martin.
Ruthie loved when he called her baby. It was something he did only with her. He never called any of his past girlfriends an endearment. It was only her.
"I'm scared, I don't think I could handle the pain", said Ruthie deciding to be honest with him.
She shut her eyes still holding onto Lillian like she was her lifeline. Martin kissed her forehead.
"Ruth", said Martin huskily.
He wanted to convey all his feelings into that one word. She was his life, didn't she understand that.
"I had this right in my mind before Martin, I couldn't be with you because she was pregnant and I couldn't get in the way of that, I still can't get in the way of that", said Ruthie.
He held her closer to his body.
"I know back then it was harder but not now Ruthie, I was only with Sandy that one time, and it was one of my biggest regrets but I can't say I didn't want it to happen because it brought me Lillian, and even though being a father at 18 was the hardest thing I ever had to do, Lillian is my world", said Martin.
Ruthie nodded her head.
"And she should be, she should she is yours, but Martin I'm jealous still", said Ruthie.
Martin's eyes flew up at that.
"Jealous?" asked Martin.
"She got to have your baby, she got your virginity, she got that I never will have something like that. I feel ashamed that I'm jealous but I can't help it", said Ruthie crying a bit.
"Rutea no cry", said Lillian.
She surprised them; they both forgot that she was still being held by Ruthie. She reached out wiping Ruthie's tears and kissing each cheek. Lillian smiled at Ruthie obviously proud that she stops Ruthie form crying. Ruthie let out a small giggle
"Your daughter is a charmer", said Ruthie.
Martin smiled also.
"You have nothing to be jealous about, you never did, yes she got those things but she didn't get my heart, my soul, you got those things Ruthie. You always had them", said Martin turning his attention back to Ruthie.
"I just, I don't know Martin, can we take it slow", asked Ruthie.
"Anyway you want I just want to be in your life again. Do you have someone else in your life", asked Martin almost afraid to ask.
"No I couldn't I mean I felt like I would betray you, I know it sounds stupid", said Ruthie.
"NO it doesn't I understand completely, I couldn't either", said Martin.
Lillian was watching her daddy and Ruthie and Lillian were happy. She liked Ruthie.
"Can I kiss you?" asked Martin almost blushing.
Ruthie looked at him and smiled.
"Yeah Martin you can kiss me", said Ruthie.
Martin smiled before leaning down and planting a butterfly kiss onto her lips. He felt her sigh and he drew her closer to his body tilting his head to get closer to her mouth. He wrapped his arms around her body kissing her with the passion that he buried deeply for the last two years. He heard her moan in delight and he smiled against her lips. He pulled back to see her flushed face and her eyes still closed. He smiled at that picture. Lillian looked at her daddy wondered what he was doing with Ruthie.
"Kissy too daddy", said Lillian reaching over to get a kiss.
"Ahh I can't leave you out of this too princess", said Martin kissing her on the cheeks.
She giggled in delight.
"Kissy Rutea", said Lillian.
Ruthie smiled and laid a big kiss on her cheeks. Lillian clapped her hands. She loved kisses.
"Let's bring her downstairs", said Martin.
Ruthie nodded her head carrying the little girl down the stairs. Ruthie was still scared though. How would she handle being around Sandy. That girl still had a way to make her cringe. It was like she stared through her when she looked at her. Every time she was around, Ruthie felt nervous. It was like Sandy was judging her or something. Like she wasn't good enough.
"Good night Lily Bean", whispered Ruthie kissing the girl's forehead.
"Night Night Rutea", yawned Lillian closing her eyes.
"Night Night daddy", said Lillian before succumbing to sleep.
"Good night princess", said Martin smiling at the way Ruthie tucked her in.
The turned off the light and let the door open ajar. Ruthie walked Martin to the room he would be staying in. they both stood outside nervously. He held her hands in his. "I'm scared Martin, what if it doesn't work", said Ruthie. Martin reached and stroked her cheeks and then cupped her face. She turned her face around his hands so that her lips kissed his palm.
"Baby it will work, I know it. I love you so much, I don't know if I could love anyone else. Life without you has been miserable. I understand why we weren't together then but now things are different baby so different. I know I still have Lillian, but that shouldn't stop us from being together right? Does Lillian's presence bother you?" asked Martin looking down.
"God no, she is so beautiful Martin, she looks so much like, how could I not love someone that is so much a part of you, I feel in love with her already. It's crazy since I have only been around her for about two hours", said Ruthie smiling looking at the door that held Lillian.
Martin smiled at this. He was worried though. He knew Sandy hated Ruthie. He didn't understand why though. Simon even called her out on it. He demanded to know what was wrong with Ruthie for her to hate her so. Sandy just said that Ruthie had something she wanted. With Sandy it all came down to jealous. It always did. She was jealous of her own daughter. Martin knew it but he still couldn't make himself believe it though. Martin loved his little girl so much but he never even gave thought to Sandy. Sandy knew he didn't love her and he never would. That was just a fact.
March 2008
Hi journal or whatever. It's been a while since I wrote in this thing. I shouldn't have slacked but my life has shifted ad changed so much lately. I just never found the time to write in it. Anyway let me break down what has been happening to me. It's been a little over six months since Sandy left. We haven't heard a thing for her. I notified the police of Sandy abandoning our daughter and made a report about it. I wanted to make sure that if she ever came back she would pay for what she did. But you don't really want to hear all of this do you. You want to hear about what really changed my life in the last 6 months. Yup ladies and gentlemen. I got her back. Ruthie is my girl, my woman, my soul is connected back. My PIC partner in crime. My other half. Whatever you want to call her I got her back in my life. She has been so great. She doesn't actually live that far from my school and apartment. Her school is not that far away. Every night she comes over to my house and she cooks dinner or I cook which ever. We sit together and talk. Talking has always been an important thing with me and Ruthie. She was scared for a while but she gradually let go of that fear. She has become a fixture in me and Lillian's life. I remember the day when everything was perfect in my life. I want to share it with you.
"Ruthie", smiled Martin opening the door. Ruthie was carrying two bags.
Martin reached out taking both bags out of her hands.
"What's all this", asked Martin.
"That mister is your dinner, that I'm going to cook", said Ruthie.
When he put the bags on his kitchen table; she grabbed him wrapping her arms around his neck kissing him with all that she had. Martin was surprised but he held her waist pulling her up a little from the ground. He got so into the kiss. Ruthie pulled back and smiled.
"I love you so much", whispered Ruthie bending down once more kissing him.
Martin smiled against her lips.
"I love you too", whispered Martin.
He gently put her on the ground.
"I'm happy to see you", said Martin.
Ruthie nodded her head hugging him still. Martin smiled against her shoulders. He rubbed his nose against her cheeks making her giggle out in delight.
"Oh baby that tickles", said Ruthie giggling.
"Where is my lily bean?", asked Ruthie put away some of the thing from the bags she brought.
"Ah she is sleeping she is fussy today, terrible twos", said Martin.
Ruthie laughed at him. Lillian was anything but terrible. She was usually such a well behaved child.
"Speaking of the devil", said Martin as he looked up to see his two year rubbing sleep from her eyes.
Her curly hair sticking up all over the place. She spotted Ruthie and nearly ran to her. Ruthie caught her easily.
"Lily Bean, my favorite little person in the while world", said Ruthie picking her up and kissing her all over her face.
Lillian giggled out in delight.
"What is this I hear about you been fussy today?", asked Ruthie seating her down on the booster seat that was for her at the kitchen table.
Lillian glared at her father. Martin shook his head.
"Daddy mean", said Lillian pouting.
"Aww your daddy's not mean, he loves you right?", asked Ruthie smoothing out her curly locks.
Her own hair was growing out again it reached a little past her shoulders now. Martin loved her hair long. He told her that one night when they were watching movies. She smiled at the memories. His hands were always in her hair.
"Yeah but he send my sleepy bye", said Lillian.
"Oh I see, but you were a good girl right, because if you weren't then you had to go to your room to think about what you do, why don't you say sorry to daddy for being not such a good girl", said Ruthie rubbing the little girl's back.
Lillian looked at her and sighed.
"Sory daddy", said Lillian pouting.
Martin knelt down next to her.
"It's okay princess I forgive you", whispered Martin kissing her forehead.
He smiled at Ruthie, telling her thanks.
"Alright now that is settled, get out my kitchen while I prepare a meal for this family", said Ruthie.
Ruthie didn't know what does words did to him. She called him family, she called them family. Lillian must have picked up on the word too because she asked.
"Fabily?", asked Lillian tilting her head to the side. Ruthie smiled at both of them.
"Yeah you are my family", said Ruthie smiling and kissing both their noses.
She turned around but Martin grabbed her waist bringing her closer to his body.
"You are my family baby, I love you", whispered Martin kissing her neck.
She moaned out a bit. He knew how to touch her body. They didn't have sex yet. They both agree to wait. But it was hard to wait especially since they loved each other so much.
"Are you my mommy?", asked Lillian breaking the moment.
Both Martin and Ruthie's heads snapped up at the question. Lillian waited for them to answer her. She wanted to know. Ruthie was like a mommy to her. All the girls at daycare told her that Ruthie was her mommy. Ruthie knelt down in front of her.
"Do you want me to be?", asked Ruthie surprising Martin.
Martin looked at her. Ruthie took hold of his hands. She looked at him.
"Do you want me to be her mother?", asked Ruthie.
Martin nodded his head. Ruthie smiled.
"I want to be her mother", said Ruthie.
"I wanna you mommy", said Lillian.
"Okay then I'm your mommy", said Ruthie.
"Yay", clapped Lillian reaching over and kissing Ruthie.
"Mommy", said Lillian out loud almost savoring the word.
"Well if you are going to be her mother, then you have to be my wife", said Martin.
Ruthie gasped at that. She was paying attention to Lillian she didn't see Martin kneel down in front of her with a ring opened so she could see. The ring was beautiful simple, just like Ruthie.
"Martin", whispered out Ruthie.
"I was planning this while romantic thing for us, so I could ask you to be my wife, but I couldn't resist, Ruthie Camden you have changed my life, you have taken in my daughter and treated her like she was your own. I can't even begin to tell you how much I love you, how much you have gotten through these past 6 months. I want you to know, I want to know actually if your would be my wife", said Martin taking the ring out of the box.
Tears flowed down Ruthie's face as she nodded her head.
"Yes, yes I'll marry you", said Ruthie hugging him with all her might.
Martin shed a tear too. His dream was coming true. "Mommy", yelled out Lillian. Ruthie smiled.
"Yeah baby I'm your mommy", said Ruthie kissing her then kissing Martin.
He placed the ring onto her finger and smiled.
I told you that was the best night of my life. She called all of her family. They had been very supportive of the relationship between her and me. They were happy with the fact that we were getting married. We were young yes but they knew that would make it. Well I got to go, I have to go pick up my wife to be and daughter from the doctor's office. Lillian has a cold. Ruthie took her in while I had baseball practice. Baseball practice ended a little early and when I got to the apartment she had already gone. I'm was going to go join them but I had to get my thoughts down on paper. Anyway that's all for now.
Martin closed his journal smiling. He grabbed his jacket with a smile on his face and reached and opened the door. His smiled faded thought as soon as he saw the person standing on the other side of the door.
"Sandy", said Martin.