Chapter Nineteen

Damn it, J.R. Why did you have to ruin that food? I'm hungry! Kendall couldn't help but think after Zach left. Oh, well, maybe Greenlee can feed me in between whipping up gourmet baby food for Miranda! Except I can't stand carrots unless they're in cake loaded with cream cheese frosting. Rummaging in the refrigerator, she could find nothing more edible than a carton of vanilla yogurt. Which, when she tasted it, was far less appetizing that a warm buttered croissant dripping with honey would have been. After taking a few sour bites, she went about straightening sofa cushions and refolding afghans, to be interrupted by another rap at the door.

"That was fast," Kendall commented in surprise, expecting to be greeting Zach. Instead, J.R. stood there.

"Fast? Are you kidding? I thought he'd never leave," J.R. retorted.

"No, I meant—never mind. What you are doing here again, J.R.? Looking for a reference for the Chandler family cleaning service? Forget it, you didn't do that great of a job on my floor. The windows need washing, though, if you want to give that a try—"

"Ha ha, very funny, not, Kendall. Now are you going to let me in or not?"

"That depends. What did you want this time?"

J.R. gave her his most ingratiating smile. "I waited until Zach left so I could come back to apologize to you."

Frowning, Kendall replied, "Well, make it quick. I'm going out in a little while."

Once inside, he continued in the same ingratiating vein, "I admit it, I was out of line before, Kendall. I was just so honestly shocked that Slater, of all people, was here this morning that certain words I regret came out of my mouth before I could stop them."

"Oh, and of course the first words that naturally sprang to your lips accused me of trading Ethan in for Zach already," she replied acidly.

"I shouldn't have said those things, but you know how I feel about you, Kendall," J.R. pleaded. "Ethan was my friend, too. Zach Slater is a piece of shit, he's treated you like shit, he treated Ethan like shit, and he brings out the worst in everyone he meets, including me."

This was such a sweeping denunciation that Kendall found herself in the unfamiliar position of defending Zach. "So what? He's actually been pretty civilized lately, J.R. Don't blame him just because you have a rotten temper."

"Don't be taken in by his bull, Kendall, and that's all it is, believe. Listen to me. Slater's playing you. If he's nice to you, it's because he wants something."

"And you don't, J.R.?" she asked skeptically. "Oh, that's right, you showed up with breakfast. Takes one to know one, huh?"

"Kendall, this is a terrible time for both of us. I just wanted to be alone with you, help comfort you if I could. Reminisce, just the two of us, about Ethan a little, and share positive thoughts about Bianca and Erica. If anyone would have been here with you I'd have thought it would be Miranda."

"Miranda's with Greenlee," Kendall said shortly.

"And so I come to find Slater instead. I admit it—that just pushed me over the edge."

"Over the edge into insulting me in the worse possible way." Folding her arms across her chest, Kendall asked, "And that's Zach's fault again how?"

J.R. took a deep breath. "What more can I say, Kendall, except I'm sorry and upset, and I guess that just makes me keep putting my foot in my mouth."

"And here I thought that was because you have a taste for expensive leather."

"It's you I like, Kendall." J.R.'s voice became even more plaintive. "That's the only reason I'm here. Look, I came back. Doesn't that prove how sorry I am? Can't we back up and start over?"

The young man had all the right moves, Kendall had to give him that. The limpid puppy dog eyes, the deeply sincere, slightly gruff, voice, the sad little mouth, the self-effacing manner. The problem was she had known him for too long and seen him in action too many times. In the interest of removing himself from any self-inflicted jam, J.R. was as likely to perform this polished act for a total stranger he was trying to dupe—say, a hardworking cop who pulled him over for a traffic violation—whom he would subsequently persuade his father to pull a few strings and have suspended, if not dismissed, from the police force—as he was for a supposed friend such as herself.

Ordinarily Kendall was too self-aware to fail to relate to such scorched earth tactics…but her nerves had been rubbed too raw for humoring, much less being magnanimous with, J.R. "No. It doesn't prove anything except you're trying to wiggle off the hook. And time's up. Guess what? You're still on it."

Being so unequivocally rebuffed appeared to genuinely surprise him. "But Kendall, there must be something I can do or say to make it up to you. Whatever it takes, I'll do it—I'll say it, anything, anything, to get back in your good graces. Come on, I'm sorry!—look at me, I'm groveling here."

Genuinely surprising herself as well, Kendall found herself thinking, Like groveling's supposed to impress me? God, I'd rather deal with a foe like Zach than a "friend" like you—and then was relieved she didn't say it. Aloud, she said, "Sorry yourself, J.R. Think about what you said to me before, and then ask yourself why the hell I should forgive you even if you groveled to me over burning coals. But think about it someplace else. I don't want to look at your face any more today."

"Aw, Kendall…is that your final answer?"

Pointing to the door, Kendall said, "Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner. Now get out of here, J.R., and don't come back until you can stop acting like an asshole. Oh and by the way? I won't hold my breath."

J.R. sighed noisily and held up his hands. "Okay, okay. I had to give it my best shot. Please don't ever say I didn't give you a second chance."

"Give me a second chance? Like you're ever entitled to expect me to jump when you say how high?" she scoffed.

His boyish face assumed a spuriously benign expression and his voice sounded the same way he looked. "Well, Kendall…when you put it like that, I suppose you're right. That does seem to be Slater's job, now poor Ethan's cold in his grave, doesn't it?"

Kendall reached over to the sofa, grabbed one of the pillows she'd just rearranged. "Leave! Just get out."

"All right, all right, Kendall, I'm going." He went to the doorway, delivering a parting shot on his way out. "But once I'm gone remember this. You met my peace-making mission with hostility. Any more olive branch extending will be done by you and not me."

"And you know exactly what you can do with the olive branch, you prick!" she fumed, throwing the pillow at the closing door. Then she threw herself down on the sofa, grabbed another one, starting pounding it, and sobbed. Damn J.R. for being such a nasty little prick at a time like this, damn Zach for being here the first time and for not being here this time and just for jerking me around in general, damn Ethan for going off and dying and leaving me so conflicted and taking my family with him…damn them all, every last one of them….

But the tempest passed quickly because Kendall didn't have the energy to maintain it. Rolling over on her back, she stared at the ceiling, wondering if maybe, just maybe, if she could have gone back forty-eight hours in time, and done even one thing differently from the way she'd already done it, she could have possibly changed this outcome. She was still lying there when Zach returned to pick her up for the trip to the Laverys' apartment. Not wanting him to witness her having yet another breakdown, she ran to the bathroom, dragged a brush through her hair, and blotted her face.

The short drive was accomplished mostly in silence. Wearing an impeccably tailored gray suit like a coat of chain mail, Zach seemed forbidding and uncommunicative, as sunk in his own thoughts as Kendall was in hers. Although the level of animosity on both sides was significantly toned down from the previous day, Kendall sensed a wall between them that neither showed any real interest in crossing. Still, Zach providing her with the lift spoke for itself…it was a solicitous gesture, a gesture even more welcome to Kendall after J.R.'s second intrusion had thrown her for a bigger loop than the one she was already nonstop circling in.

While driving, Zach looked straight ahead with a scowl on his face visible even in profile; he often seemed unaware she was even riding in the same vehicle with him, yet his reserve didn't feel particularly personal.

When they arrived at their destination, Zach found a parking place around the corner from the Laverys' apartment building. In a move Kendall didn't anticipate, he climbed out of his side of the SUV and came around to open her door, then locked it behind her.

"I didn't know you were planning to go in with me, Zach. I thought you were just going to drop me off."

"Is this a problem, Kendall?"

All of a sudden it did feel a little personal. "It's Greenlee's house, not mine. I was just saying."

"Right. And if I drop you off, you're stuck here," he pointed out.

"I'm stuck here either way, Zach. But it's not a big deal. If Greenlee or Ryan can't take me home later, I'll call a cab."

"That's unnecessary, Kendall. Consider this is a round trip, unless you'd prefer another means of transportation?"

Kendall felt her cheeks flush. "I don't expect you to chauffeur me around."

"I know. I'm choosing to. Just," Zach said, "as it's up to you to choose whether to accept."

"I–I guess we can play it by ear." She tried to inject some graciousness into her voice. It wasn't that she wasn't grateful. It was just that Zach's murky motivations made it impossible to decide whether she should be grateful or go on high alert. Was he truly being chivalrous? Or was it all a charade to ensure that he spent as much time with Miranda as she did?

"Oh, my god." Of its own volition, Kendall's hand suddenly poked at Zach's forearm as they rounded the corner and she spotted a highly conspicuous car in the handicapped parking space right in front of the apartment entrance. But the perfectly restored little 1957 red Corvette with the white cove didn't even make a pretense of sporting handicapped license plates or a tag hanging from its rearview mirror beneath its ragtop roof. "That's J.R.'s car!" she gasped.

"Nice wheels," Zach remarked with typical succinctness.

"I know, but why here? What's he doing at Greenlee's? He never mentioned it and I really don't want to see him again today!" Kendall was beginning to feel trapped.

"Calm down, Kendall. I doubt he's particularly eager to face you either."

"Zach, you don't understand. J.R. came back to see me after you left. We really got into it, and I threw him out again."

"Did you? I regret missing that."

"It wasn't funny, Zach."

Zach cocked his head in a way that could have been taken to mean he was up to something. Pulling his cell phone from inside of his jacket, he walked around to the front of the handicapped parking sign, and punched some numbers into the touchpad.

Kendall followed behind him. "What the hell are you doing?"

Mouthing some words into the receiver, Zach nodded toward the face of the sign, where a telephone number was provided for reporting handicapped parking space violations. Beneath the number was printed the legend violators towed.

Kendall was so on edge that she was nearly ready to implode, but this scenario struck her as being just plain funny, with a denouement so richly deserved by J.R., that she couldn't help it. Something tight within her snapped, and she began to giggle helplessly.

In response, Zach gave her a rare smile that unexpectedly lit up his handsome face. "You approve?"

"Of course! J.R. never thinks the law applies to him. It's about time he got called on it for once."

Snapping his phone shut with a flourish, Zach said, "Done."'

"Poor J.R. will come strutting down from Greenlee's like the king of the world as usual, and discover his car is gone. He'll be livid!" Kendall laughed.

"That's the idea," Zach smiled again.

"Will you do me a favor, though, please, Zach?"

"Name it, Kendall."

"Please don't offer J.R. a ride home too."

Zach gave an even rarer chuckle, rare in Kendall's experience of him, anyway. "I'd be tempted. Just for the pleasure of hearing Junior force himself to decline."

"And they say I'm bad, Zach. But you're good. You're very good—ooph."

Still laughing and not paying close attention to where she was stepping, Kendall stumbled over the curb, lost her balance, and began to fall forward. Before she barely had time to blink, she found herself swept up safely in Zach's arms. Instinctively throwing her arms around him, she clutched at him for dear life, a rather mortifying reaction she never would have expected to display toward Zach Slater if she lived a million more lifetimes. But his wide shoulders suddenly seemed expressly designed to hold on to.

What was worse…the tighter Kendall clung to Zach, the more it seemed he tightened his hold on her. The question was about to become who was going to release whom first when the voices of Greenlee and Ryan Lavery and J.R. Chandler, and the squeal of baby stroller wheels hitting the pavement, emerged from behind the apartment building's automatic doors.