Sasori jumped to a halt, and collapsed backwards onto his behind. "I'm tired…" He fell backwards onto his back, and crossed his eyes, poking his tongue out. "I'm very, very tired…"

Deidara snapped out of his trance, blinking." Yeah, we should rest." He tossed his pack onto the ground, and crossed his legs. "Where are we and what time is it, yeah?"

"I don't know what the time is, but we're pretty much in Wind now. There's sand instead of grass, so, yeah." Sasori shrugged off his cloak, stretching his wings out and tucking them over the closed wires compartment in his stomach. He unbuttoned the cloak all the way down, and draped it over himself. "Night, Dei. I'm going to sleep now. Good luck at trying to think of what EGL is."

Deidara scowled, but lay on his side. He let his eyes close. "Why'd you have to go and say that? I'd nearly forgotten, yeah." Sullen Deidara wasn't very fun. Except for mocking.

Sasori grinned, closing his eyes and trying to sleep. But before that – "See you in the morning."

Deidara couldn't sleep. If it made any sense, he was too tired to sleep. So he just lay there, with sand between his toes, trying not to think of Itachi. Fucking stupid, sexy Itachi.

Sasori cracked an eye open, watching Deidara twitch in annoyance. Something told him that he wasn't irritated by the EGL puzzle. But, then again, it wasn't his business. So he just shut down his brain, and went into a doze-meditate-like-thing.

Deidara didn't sleep. At all. He just lay there for about seven hours, counting the stars and picking sand out of wherever sand was. He did feel a bit mean getting up and poking Sasori, but if he had to stay still, and NOT think of the idle sharingan gaze for another second, he'd snap.

Sasori groaned. "Whadyawant?" He stretched, and looked at Deidara, his eyes vacant of any emotion. A big, grey VOID of NOTHING.

Deidara sighed. "It's morning, yeah. About eight, yeah." The bags under his eyes hardly matched his jolly tone. He wasn't really disturbed by the eyes, he had accustomed himself to sharingan and pupiless yellow glares.

Sasori yawned, and scratched the back of his head. "Alright, I'm up." He stood up, swinging his cloak on. "We're close to the town, I think. We'll just have to look." He yawned again, and then looked at Deidara. "Did you sleep at all? You look like shit."

Deidara pouted. "Thanks a lot, yeah. No, I didn't." He sighed, yawned, and started walking.

"What kept you up?" Sasori traced the bags with his fingers. "You seemed irritated." He wasn't going to bring up EGL unless Deidara used it as an excuse.

Deidara leant into the touch, sighing. "If it makes any sense, I couldn't forget something." He leant on Sasori, and bit back a yawn. "Yeah, let's go. Nearly at sand."

Sasori put an arm on Deidara's shoulders, just in case he decided to fall over from exhaustion. "What couldn't you forget? You've seemed kinda off since Itachi appeared at our window. Something to do with him?"

Deidara was grateful for the extra support, but the question ruined his happy moment. "I don't want to talk about it, yeah." He hung his head slightly. "Is that okay?"

"Hnn." Sasori started walking, at his usual slow pace. "You know that it's bad to bottle things up, right? I'm not going to try and pressure you into anything, but you shouldn't do that. It gets to you, big time."

Deidara shook his head. "I'm used to it, it's okay." He walked idly. "Then I find out what an old perv wants with me, yeah." He laughed softly.

Sasori glanced over at Deidara, and smiled. "I'm glad you're finally enthusiastic about finding out. I was expecting the immediate bombarding of questions as soon as I sat up."

Deidara smiled, happy for a change of subject. "Naah, we're near enough to sand." He looked at the sky, sighing, "Yeah, more important things to think about."

Sasori grinned. "Like what?"

"Mission, Sasori-san! Mission, yeah!" He stuck his tongue out. "Geez, what did you think I meant?"

"There are lots of somewhat important things in the world, Dei." Sasori shrugged. "Well, anyway. We should really henge soon." Sasori stretched again, agitated. The scratched sand hitai-ate around his neck glinted. The source of his agitation. He formed some hand seals, and became a completely different person – red haired, with a high ponytail and a very masculine face.

Deidara made a face at Sasori's new hairstyle, and shrugged uselessly. "Anything in particular, Sasori-san?"

"A girl, around 16. You don't need to change that any more, really. Come up with as much hideous clothes as you want, you wont be noticed. Too many tourists that wear strange things for anyone to notice."

Deidara frowned. "A girl? I really don't like the sound of that, yeah." But he obediently formed the hand seals necessary. He blinked mascara'd eyes, and frowned. "Ridiculous enough, yeah?" The same pink shirt, a mesh sweater and tight grey pants. He, um, she put hands on hips and grinned.

"Hideous enough, indeed. But you're pretty enough for the mission, so hey." They entered the Sand gates, the guards giving them suspicious looks but not bothering with them. Conveniently, the inn was close to the gates. It was a roomy, cottage-y place, all tans and white. A pleasant old woman sat behind the counter, smiling. He put a note on the table, and the woman handed him a key. He walked along the hallway, and came to their door. Opening the door, Sasori looked around, and found a white room with white furniture, and a peach carpet. With a large double bed in the centre. Releasing his henge, he sighed, and chucked the package from under his cloak onto the bed. "Knock yourself out with opening the package."

Deidara was a blonde whirlwind, up the stairs, through the door and straight onto said box. He lay on his back, and tore through cardboard and paper.

Pink material suddenly obscured his vision.

Sasori snickered relentlessly. "I think you get the idea of EGL now."


Deidara pulled magenta away from his eyes, and shrieked. "PANTIES? WHAT THE HELL, YEAH?" He rifled through the pile of fabric on the bed. A mini skirt, a corset. Stockings, suspenders. A ridiculous sweater with huge sleeves. A note. He glared at the note, and read it.

ENJOY YOURSELVES, BITCHES ;D

ENCLOSED IS A CAMERA AND LIPGLOSS. MAKE GOOD USE OF THEM.

K

Deidara glared at Sasori. "Crossdressing, yeah? GOD DAMN YOU ALL!" He fell backwards, not sure whether to laugh or cry.

Sasori burst into laughter. "Come on, we better get you into all of this stuff." His smirk grew. "Release the henge."

Deidara shot him a venomous look, but sat up anyway. "Do you even know how to lace a corset, yeah?"

"I do. I had the same mission at one point, and Orochimaru needed help with his. I was too wooden." He smirked, and quirked a brow. "Come on, get the undergarments on. I wont look." He added mockingly.

Deidara glared at the offending item, but stood and shed his clothes anyway. The poof of smoke confirmed his gender once more. "Hey, why couldn't I stay a girl?" He frowned as he put one leg into them. Miles away, he tried to tell himself. I'm miles away, flying. I am not dressing up like a woman to get into bed with a octogenarian. But he was snapped back to reality as he fell over onto the bed, now suitably clad in fucking neon pink knickers.

Sasori smirked, and picked up the corset. He wrapped it around Deidara's chest. "Take a very deep breath."

Deidara was busy worrying about suspenders to notice until there were suddenly metal clasps against his skin. But he obediently sucked in air. Not too much, as he knew he needed oxygen to whine like a teenage girl. "This sucks, yeah."

Sasori threaded the laces through the eyelets. He got to the top for the second time, and then pressed his knee against Deidara's lower back and pulled hard.

Deidara coughed. So much for breathing. "Eeeh.. What the hell was that for? It's not like I'm fat, yeah…" He spluttered a bit.

Sasori rolled his eyes. "No, you're not fat. But the corsets slip otherwise." He tied a neat bow, and then realized his mistake. "Oh, dear." He took out the bow, and pulled off the corset. "Sorry. I forgot, you need to put the rest on first.." He trailed off, scratching the back of his head. "Lets start with the sweater." He picked it up, and shoved it over Deidara's head.

Deidara sighed and pushed his arms through the sleeves. "So not looking forward to being strapped into that again, yeah."

Sasori grinned, wrapping the corset around Deidara's chest again. "Deep breath, Dei..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…" He sighed, and sucked in a lot more oxygen than necessary. If he held his breath right, he might not die when it was fastened.

Sasori slotted the laces through again, and placed his knee in Deidara's lower back, again. And pulled – a bit harder. But of course, not on purpose.

Deidara squawked in protest. "What now?" He panted out, fanning himself. The circulation to his brain seemed a lot worse than usual. His head spun, tumbled and rolled. All at once.

Sasori sighed apologetically. "The stockings, then the suspenders. And then the skirt and the boots." He held up the stockings, which alternated from black cotton to neon pink fishnet in stripes. "Do you want to put them on yourself?"

Deidara sighed. He felt like a doll, a whorish doll. He'd always hated Barbie, but now he felt sorry for her. "Yeah…" He tugged the material up to his thighs, and glared at the suspenders. "I don't know how they work, yeah…" He was considering blushing, but that wouldn't help at all.

Sasori grinned, and clipped the suspenders onto the stockings, and then buckled the front up. He went round behind Deidara, and buckled it up at the back. He picked up the skirt, and brandished it. "Now, for this." He looked at the black material, with white lace and layered with magenta netting. Lots of it. As he searched through the many layers for the end, lipgloss fell from one of the holes. He put it to one side, and sighed. "Where the hell are your legs meant to go through? I cant find the hole…"

Deidara took the skirt, and shoved his hand through the bottom. He extended his fingers from the other side, and poked out a tongue "There, yeah." Deidara lay back on the bed and just wrenched the skirt up his waist. He stood and tied the bows, twisting it to sit on his hips. "Another fucking belt, yeah. Just what I need." He took a few experimental steps, and frowned. "This doesn't even cover the panties, for gods sake."

"I'm not sure its meant to." Sasori shrugged, and rummaged through the torn cardboard box, were he found the camera – a cheap disposable – and the eyeliner. "Come here, I need to put the makeup on." Seizing the eyeliner and lip gloss, he gestured for Deidara to sit next to him.

Deidara sat down awkwardly, and sighed. "Do I look away, or look at you, or what?" He tossed his hair over his shoulder where it couldn't get caught in the clasps of his corset. "Yeah, this sucks."

"Look at me." He dipped his finger into the lip gloss, and applied it to Deidara's lips. When he was done with that, he grabbed the eyeliner and carefully drew around Deidara's eyes, trying not to poke him in the eye.

Deidara tried to stay fixed staring at the small dent in Sasori's cheek, but it was so hard. Sasori's face was so serious all of a sudden. He sat, waiting for the pull away from his face that meant it was done. The wait was very awkward, and Deidara kept pulling his skirts down. He had a sad, hollow feeling that they were meant to show the straps holding his stockings up. Then Sasori's (cold) hand left his cheek, and he blinked, warily. His fingers smudged the eyeliner a bit, making a bit less shaky. "I feel so stupid, yeah." His voice was shaking, too.

"Hey, don't feel stupid. The mission is in your hands – if you screw up, there's every chance that either of us will get caught and killed. If you don't, everything with go smoothly, and everything will be dandy." He smiled awkwardly. "Anyways – the guy's name is Fitz Hanz. Ridiculous name, I know. He's in his late forties, grey hair, smokes like a chimney. I'll take you to his hotel, and will be waiting outside the room for you. You're a rich girl, and I'm you're bodyguard. You're name is Lilly, and I'm Carlos. Got it?"

"I guess…." Deidara looked at the shoes in horror. He put his feet into them, and tugged uselessly at the straps. "Help… Yeah?"

Sasori pulled the straps over Deidara's legs, and tied a bow at the back of each. "One last touch." He pulled Deidara's hair out of the braid and found a magenta ribbon strewn on the bed. He picked it up, and did a tight ponytail, with the pink ribbon peeking from all the yellow. He made sure that the scope was covered well, and grinned. He picked up the camera, and stood. "Pose."

Deidara glared at the camera. He threw a pillow at Sasori. "No way in hell, yeah." He tugged a little at the new hairstyle, but then hid his face in his hands. "No pictures, yeah."

"Aww, come on. One for the scrapbooks. Please? And the next time something embarrassing happens, you can take a picture of it. Pleaaaase?" Sasori grinned innocently.

Deidara shook his head, blushing furiously. "Nothing embarrassing will happen to you, yeah. But knock yourselves out." He laughed a bit, though it sounded forced. He stood up, put a hand on his hip, and shot the camera a ridiculous grin.

Sasori smiled, and the flash went off as he pressed the button. "There, see? Wasn't too bad. And I promise, Kisame won't get near this picture, or this camera."

Deidara scowled. "Then what's the point? For you to pull out at my fourtieth birthday?" He tried walking about in his shoes, sighing. "Why don't they hurt?"

"I don't know. Maybe because they aren't those weird little kitty heels."

Deidara raised an eyebrow. "I don't even know what you're talking about, yeah."

"You know, the stalk heels. Never mind." Sasori sighed. "Come on, then. Target's staying at a hotel a small way from here." He henged into the same person, but wearing a suit. Think Rude/Reno.

Deidara raised an eyebrow at Sasori's new outfit, but decided not to mention the word "stupid" while he was wearing suspenders. "I'll follow you, yeah, um, Carlos." He sniggered quietly at this.

"Yes/Lilly-chan/." Sasori chuckled, and left the room, leaving the door open for Deidara.

Deidara had to walk carefully in his heels. Too carefully, it annoyed him when he slipped slightly and his shoes clanked on the floor. He bet that Itachi had refused this mission, and that's why they were stuck with it. It sucked, he thought wearily. But he held himself straight and was careful to keep his hands covered. Stairs were a pain, though he doubted the old lady was peeking up his skirt. He remembered the skirt, and a small piece of his soul died.

"C'mon. We're gonna be late." Sasori smiled, holding out his hand to Deidara.

Deidara extended his hand, appreciating the skin against his. He walked closer to Sasori. He dropped his voice to a (cute sounding) whisper. "So what am I going to kill him with? My non-stabby shoes, yeah?"

"Be imaginative, use chakra nails to claw out his windpipe, slice off his head. Have fun. Just make sure its quiet, alright? As long as he's dead, it's fine. And don't blow him up, unless its a silent explosive." Sasori whispered back, bending down to talk directly into Deidara's ear.

"Yeah, yeah... I'll use my imagination..." Deidara fluffed the ends of his ponytail idly, obviously a bit worried.

"Don't worry, if anything bad happens just call for me. I'll finish it off." Sasori squeezed his hand lightly. "I promise."

Deidara smiled. "Yeah." His face cracked. "I just had a thought, where the hell did Kisame get these clothes?" He grimaced, obviously the thought of Hoshigaki Kisame and miniskirts did NOT go down well.

Sasori chuckled. "He likes brothels. Alot."

Deidara made a face. "Ew."

"That's what I told him. Then he got Sameheda out. So I ran." Sasori shrugged, and looked up at the hotel, which was large, white and swanky. It looked more like an apartment block. "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be." Deidara pushed his hair back, and sighed. He squeezed Sasori's fingers. "I'm still a bit nervous, yeah. So why am I there, yeah?"

"To break it to you gently, why'd you think you're dressed whorish, exactly?" Sasori bit the inside of his lip, frowning.

Deidara hung his head, blushing. "I got THAT part, yeah. But what do I tell Mr, um, person?"

"Its the job desc. to call him Sir, just to let you know... and he doesn't really expect you to say anything. So, that's alright. He strike up conversation, go along with it." Sasori shrugged uncomfortably. "We should really go in... I'll wait outside the room, as I said before."

"Okay..." Deidara did his best to look girlish and shy rather than angry and nervous. He tried to will his palms into not-sweating, and walked towards the entrance.

Sasori followed, pushing open the door. He walked up to the counter, where a woman with smart glasses was sitting, drooling over something on the screen. Sasori peered round, and saw the hard-core Yaoi displayed on the screen. He gave a small cough, and the woman yelped, closing the window. "Wh-what can I do for you, sir?" Sasori rolled his eyes. "A Mr. Fitz Hanz requested Lilly." The woman coughed, and pointed to the elevator. "Get to the 2nd floor, it's the only door there." Sasori nodded, and tugged on Deidara's hand softly, walking towards the elevator.

Deidara followed on shaky legs, taking deep breaths. He waited idly for the elevator, and stepped into it. "Sasori-danna?" He whispered, as the other stood next to him.

Sasori was shocked. "What?" 'Where the hell did danna come from.'

Deidara wrapped his arms around Sasori's neck. "I'm scared, I'm wearing a skirt. If I don't act fast enough I'm gonna be raped. I can barely breathe in this FUCKING EVIL corset, these shoes are cutting off circulation to my calves, and I need you." He whispered this all dangerously fast, head resting on the others collarbone.

"Its alright..." Sasori wrapped his arms around Deidara. "I'm just outside. If something goes wrong, I'll help you. I promised, remember?" He frowned, and rubbed Deidara back in a way he hoped was soothing.

"Yeah... The safety word is "aaaargh"..." He giggled quietly, and kissed the side of Sasori's neck. He went to speak, but the ping of the elevator interrupted him. So he just shuffled out. He placed both hands on his face, took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.

The door opened, and a man in his late forties appeared, blinking large blue eyes that were obviously contact lenses, considering the cyan block colour. He smiled at Deidara. "Ahh, you're here! I thought you'd never come." He was dressed in a almost-pink white shirt, and a pair of unbuttoned jeans. He was slim, but with no muscles. He had some stubble around his mouth, but it was barely noticable.

Deidara tried to force a flirty grin, it came out like syrup. No, it came out like CALPOL. Pink and sticky and comforting, yet utterly useless. He bowed slightly. "Sir." Yeah, play it out a bit. Wait till he was annoying enough to kill.

Sasori nodded to Hanz, frowning. He leant next to the door and glared at the opposite wall and elevator.

Hanz smiled, and put a hand on Deidara's shoulder, pulling him softly into the room. He slid one hand up Deidara's skirt as he closed the door, groping at his ass. "You look very cute..." He whispered into his ear. "Very cute..."

Deidara tried very hard not to bite. He had to be CUTE, and SHY. At no point in his plan was he going to bite, kick or punch. He didn't scream in anguish when a hand cupped his butt, he just gasped. Over all, Deidara thought he was doing a pretty good job. And, best of all, the word "Zero" hadn't crossed his mind yet. Fuck. Zero Kanji on Leader-sama's ring.

He smirked, and placed kisses along Deidara's jawline, his tongue coming out to lick the places he had kissed. He caught Deidara's hand in his own, and led him in towards the bedroom. "We should really take this to a more suitable place, hmm?"

Deidara made little whimper sounds. Damnit, he wasn't here to TALK. The bastard got three more sentences. Deidara amused himself to bring back his sickly smile by reasoning when "Hanz" was dead, Deidara was going to jump up and down on his face. He went sort of limp, waiting for the shove backwards. He hated landing on beds, more than he hated waking up alone.

He sat down on the bed and pulled Deidara towards him, pulling him onto his lap. His skilled hands pulling at the corset strings, he leant in, pressing his chest against Deidara's, resting his head in the crook of his neck.

Deidara felt the hand go for his corset. Fuck. 'Noo! Not there!' He wriggled away, feigning embarrassment. Right, it was decided. Chakra strings around the stomach, easier to perform discreetly.

Hanz smiled, and pulled Deidara back. "No need to be shy..." He growled, pulling out the bow with a swift tug. "You've had many more people do this to you, haven't you? I'm no different..." He began loosening the rest of the corset strings.

Deidara counted mentally. Three. Marvellous. He wrapped his arms around the guys waist, pressed his fingers together, and pulled them apart. He pulled them hard, so there was a sound like tinfoil breaking. He brought the hands to the guys sides, readied his fingers. Next move was a jump backwards and a hard tug forward. But, to make this guys death worse, he bit his nose. "I'm a guy, yeah." He said quietly, and pushed off the bed. Despite the heels, he landed on both feet with a soft "thud". He grinned. "Last words?"

Hanz was shocked, and drew in breath. He was so shocked, he didn't speak. His eyes were wide, and one of the contacts fell out, exposing his brown eye colour. He was trembling, like he anticipated death - but with fear of death embedded into his expression.

Deidara grinned wide. "Good, yeah. Never mess with an Akatsuki." He whispered this sexily, and drew his fingers together in a clap. Then pulled his arms to his chest. The blue wire cut through flesh easily, sawing through bone. Deidara watched the two halves of him fall to the floor. He tugged his skirts down to cover his panties, and wandered to the kitchen. He drew a kitchen knife from the drawer, and jammed it into Hanz's eye. He stood up straight, kicked him in the face, and spun on his heel. He crossed the bedroom happily, and opened the door to the hallway with a small "Ta-daah". There was blood on his hands, and he was beaming.

Sasori winced at the sight of Deidara, and grabbed his hands, wiping them on his black blazer. "Come on. Lets just close the door. Nothing's happened." He closed the door softly, and then called for an elevator. "I hope he didn't get too far."

"Nope. He got six sentences, yeah." He leant on Sasori happily, and reached for his hand.

Sasori smiled, grasping Deidara's hand and squeezing it lightly. "I think you'll need a shower." Sasori smiled. The elevator doors opened, and he stepped inside, poking the G button.

"Yeah, and YOU can brush my hair this time, yeah." Deidara was in a better mood now he'd seen a little blood. Death always cheered him up, and he had no idea why.

Sasori smiled as the doors closed, the elevator steadily dropped downwards, and finally it came to the ground floor. "Let's get back to the inn." He grinned and clicked his shoulder.

Deidara smiled casually, and sped up his pace slightly as they crossed the foyer. "Yeah, I want out of this fucking corset."

"It does look uncomfortable." Sasori grinned, and pushed open the door, stepping out into the just-past-noon light. He clicked his shoulders again, and continued walking down the high street, back towards the inn.

Deidara broke out into a jog. "Uncomfortable doesn't cover it, yeah. Next time, YOU wear the miniskirt."

"I will. It does look fun." Sasori chuckled, lengthening his strides to keep up with Deidara.

Deidara grinned. "And I WILL show Kisame the photos." He slowed down a little, and sighed, waiting for Sasori to catch up. He scratched his eyelid idly.

"That's mean. I'm not showing Kisame your photos." He entered the inn, and climbed up the stairs. He opened the door, and ran over to the bed, releasing henge in mid-leap.

Deidara squeaked in joy. "I can BREATHE! YEAH!" His fingers were undoing the clasps on his suspenders, kicking off the loose stockings.

Putting his arms around Deidara's waist, he unbuckled the skirt. "That's good."

Deidara smiled. He waited for Sasori to lift the fabric, snatched it off him, and threw it in his face. "Now run me a bath." He giggled some more.

"Fine, fine." Sasori stood up, and went into the bathroom, turning on the cold taps full blast and left the hot taps on a soft drizzle.

Deidara had tied his hair up messily. He sat down on the bed and grinned like a maniac. "I am NEVER doing that again, yeah."

"What, dance around in your boxers? No more Sasori TV..." Sasori pouted mockingly.

Deidara whacked him lightly across the arm. "No, cross-dress." His eyes glinted with... Something. "Did you put bubbles in the water?"

"No. Go and put them in yourself, because I've now decided this bed is comfortable." Sasori smirked, lying down on the bed and tucking his hands behind his head.

Deidara made a small excited noise. "I say five then, yeah." He liked bubbles. He liked bubbles a whole lot.

Sasori chuckled and half closed his eyes, listening to Deidara's squeals of happiness.

Deidara sat on the side of the bath, kicking bubbles about with his feet. "You're not gonna try and sleep, yeah? If you are, yeah, I'll shut up."

"Nah. Its not even dusk yet, and I've had enough sleep. I enjoy listening to you squeal anyways."

Deidara laughed. "How perverse, yeah." He turned the hot water up some more, and removed his boxers. Further squeaking happened, as Deidara realised how hot the fucking water was. But he submerged, blowing bubbles happily.

Sasori chuckled. "I'm guessing you like the bath, hnn?" He felt the urge to go in and sit in the bathroom to watch Deidara - but he refrained.

Deidara didn't really hear, but there was a slight rumble of voice. He blew a few more bubbles in response.

Hearing the blowing of bubbles in response, Sasori shook his head. He began inspecting his arms for splinters, and then looked at his nails - which had lots of chipped nail varnish on them. Sasori grimaced, and began to search through his cloak for a spare vial of purple polish.

Deidara sat up, and inhaled some much-needed oxygen. He wiped soap out of his eyes, and sighed. "Sasori? Come talk to me... Bored, yeah."

Sasori finally found the nail polish, and went through to the bathroom, sitting down by the bath as he unscrewed the lid.

Deidara smiled dazedly at the other. He shrugged. "I had something to say, yeah... But I forgot." He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Let me do it, yeah." He held out his hands for the bottle, and gestured Sasori closer.

Sasori held the unscrewed bottle to Deidara, and draped his hands over the rim of the bath, shuffling closer. He smiled. "Just tell me when you remember what you were going to say."

Deidara nodded, and leant in to Sasori's hands. He painted too fast, it was annoying. He finished one hand, and bit his lip. "It couldn't be important if I've just let it go, yeah." He shrugged idly, and started on the other hand. "So, um... Yeah. Your turn to think of something to say."

"Hnn... Why were you acting weird when Itachi appeared? You hid under the covers and refused to meet his gaze." Sasori had been bugged by this for quite a while, and decided to revive the old conversation.

Deidara shook his head, and looked away. Wet hair hung in the way of his face. Sasori's left hand remained unpainted. Deidara wet his lips, tried to force the words out. "Itachi... I..." He shook his head again, biting his lip. "We used to..." He waved a hand. "I can't say... It hurts, yeah."

Sasori's heavy lidded eyes blinked. "It wont hurt any more to say it." He blew on his right hand, shaking the nails dry.

Deidara sighed, and leant towards Sasori's other hand. He dipped the brush in the bottle, and started painting. "I think I loved him once, yeah... We used to sleep together a lot..." His cheeks flushed, but his hand remained steady as he moved onto Sasori's third finger. "But now he just... Disregards me, treats me like trash. That's what hurts... Yeah, now you think I'm a whore, right?" He gripped Sasori's thumb a bit too tightly as he smoothed purple down the "nail".

"No. It happens to everyone. Itachi isn't the type to stick to someone like glue. As far as I know, he's been fucked by Kisame for at least a year now." His right hand was dry now, and he rested his elbow on his knee, balancing his chin on his palm.

Deidara nodded quietly, and lay back in the water. Bubbles splashed over the sides, but he didn't really care. "I think Zetsu is the only one out of us who HASN'T had sex with Itachi, yeah." An arm emerged from the foam, and he grabbed the soap.

"I haven't. Orochimaru tried to rape him, and got the shit beaten out of him." Sasori seemed to find this funny, as a grin was plastered on his face. "He got pissed when I refused to heal his wounds. It was really quite amusing."

Deidara smiled faintly. "Oh." He sat up, stretching his neck. "So you and Orochimaru got along? He was a total jerk to me and Zetsu-chan, yeah."

"He was fun to tease. Nothing more. I didn't ever show myself in this form. He probably would have molested me." Sasori rolled his eyes, and shook his left hand out to dry, blowing on it softly. "Do you need your nails done?"

Deidara shook his head. "When I get out, yeah." He dropped the soap into the water, watching it sink around his ankles. "Which will be when I wake up again, yeah." He brought his knees to his chest, hugged his calves and rested his head.

"It's not sensible to go to sleep in the bath. Just get dried off, and go to sleep in a bed. Like everyone else." Sasori rolled his eyes, leaning against the rim of the bath.

Deidara shrugged. "It's warm here, yeah." He shut his eyes. "And I can't be bothered..."

"Do I have to drag you out? Because I will. It'll get cold." Sasori shrugged. "And then there is the bed, which will stay lovely and warm, and you wont get all pruned."

Deidara sighed. "It's nice here, yeah. I don't feel like moving..." He didn't even TRY to move. "Come poke me in about ten minutes or something, yeah..." He yawned into his knees.

"I will pick you up out of the bath. You'll look uglier than my scorpion shell if you're pruned. I can't have that." Sasori shook his head, somehow mockingly.

Deidara "awww"ed in protest. He was going to say something about dignity, but about two hours ago Sasori was lacing him into a corset. All hope was lost.

"Get up, come on! If you don't get up, I will pick you up and towel dry you myself." Sasori looked smug about this.

Deidara tried wiggling his toes. His legs were stubbornly refusing to move. He sighed, and screwed his eyes shut. "Mean, yeah." He said childishly.

Sasori stood up. "Fine them, I'll pick you up and towel dry you." He found a towel, and held it out. "One last chance!"

Deidara tried very hard to disappear, as Kisame had once put it, into "that magical place inside of you where you feel no shame". His butt had gone to sleep, he couldn't feel his thighs. In all senses of the word, he was screwed.

"Fine." Sasori advanced forwards, and scooped Deidara out of the bath, holding him bridal-style. Still holding up his arms, he dropped Deidara into a sitting position, and began to scrub at him with the towel.

Deidara sat on the floor, blushing and dripping. His legs remained dead. He had a sudden thought and laughed. "You're this eager to get me into bed, Sasori?"

"Shut up." Sasori glared, his eyes twitching. "I'm doing it so you don't get a cold. Or drown." He scrubbed at Deidara's hair, taking it from soaking to damp.

Deidara winced. "Easy on the hair, yeah... You muss it up, you're brushing it after." He laughed inwardly, thinking this was a particularly evil threat.

Sasori rolled his eyes, and then left the towel on Deidara's shoulders. "If you can't move, I'll pick you up again."

Deidara shook his head. "It's nice being carried, yeah..." He was half-asleep, and wondering how arms made of wood could hold any strength at all.

Sasori sighed. He bent down, and scooped Deidara up again, carrying him through into the bedroom and putting him down on the bed. He pulled the covers from under him, and pulled them over him.

Deidara sighed, and twisted about under the sheets. He stretched out like a cat, and held out a hand to Sasori. "C'mere, it's nice..." He yawned. "Yeah."

Sasori smiled, and crawled under the covers, and over Deidara to lie next to him. "Hnn. It is."

Deidara wrapped his arms around Sasori's neck, and smiled. "You okay to sleep like that, yeah?"

"Yeah, its fine." He put on hand on Deidara's hip, his thumb rubbing circles on Deidara's thigh. He sighed happily, relaxing.

Deidara closed his eyes. He snuggled in a bit, and kissed Sasori gently on the neck. He nuzzled his face into the others collarbone. "G'night." He mumbled.

"Night, Dei." He rested his chin on Deidara's head, and fell into a light doze.