Chapter Twenty-Nine
Once Kendall and Myrtle were settled in the kitchen with cups of coffee and plates of coffee cake before them, Myrtle went on, "Honey, just remember, your mother's spirit will live on just like Mona's, god rest her soul, lives on. Bianca's too. They're all together again."
"Myrtle…please…I can't handle thinking that way yet, I just can't," Kendall mumbled.
"I understand, honey. I'm just an old woman who's had a lot more time to think of things like this so I'm used to thinking this way. You drink your coffee and eat a bit of that cake. If I know you, you haven't eaten a bite since yesterday."
Forcing herself to eat, Kendall replied, "The—the cake is good. I guess I should call Opal and Palmer, huh? But I just…I'm just not ready."
"Give yourself time, Kendall. They understand, and they're devastated too," Myrtle sighed. "Opal and I were talking, though. Kendall honey, when you are a little more ready, you know your mother would want a huge send-off, and Opal and I are good at that kind of thing, and Opal would love to host it at Courtlandt Manor."
Kendall hardly seemed to hear or comprehend. "She would? That's nice. Maybe I'll—maybe I'll let her do that then, and if you'll help, Myrtle…you always seem to know what the right thing to do is….."
"Of course I will, honey." Myrtle patted Kendall's hand. "You just leave it to us if you want to, darlin'. Please don't feel like you're in this alone."
'Thank you." Putting down her coffee cup, Kendall said slowly, "You'll never guess who else offered to help me."
"Why, I don't know who that could be, Kendall—but if I may I'll guess it was Adam Chandler? He always loved your mother. Or maybe Brooke English? Now, Brooke and your mother had their differences over the years, but deep down inside, they respected each other. Or Greenlee and Ryan—they'll be needing to plan a service too, for Jack—"
"No, it wasn't Brooke or Adam who offered. And it sure as hell wasn't Ryan and Greenlee. Myrtle…," Kendall hesitated, wondering what the other woman's reaction would be, "it was Zach Slater."
"Zach?" Myrtle exclaimed in unfeigned astonishment. "Why, honey, I couldn't be any more surprised! Not at him for making the offer because he loved Bianca, but at you for even listening to it."
"Well, things between Zach and me have…improved a little," Kendall admitted.
Fervently, Myrtle said, "I'm so glad to hear it! What did you tell Zach, if I may pry?"
"I didn't say anything, Myrtle. I guess. I was too upset after he told me the search had been called off. I think I just kind of nodded."
"Well, I'll see what he had in mind," Myrtle responded thoughtfully. "Now, Kendall honey, what's this about Greenlee and Ryan? Why wouldn't they want to help you?"
"Oh, Myrtle!" Placing her elbows on the table and cupping her face in her hands, Kendall tried not to lose whatever small amount of control she still possessed. Myrtle waited silently until Kendall was able to say, "Things couldn't be worse with them right now."
"You told me they were being persnickety about Miranda; of course that's why we had to outfit your place. Is that business still going on?"
"They brought Miranda over for a visit yesterday, Myrtle, and they turned their noses up everything we did—nothing was good enough in their eyes. They don't trust me with Miranda, and they say I have the wrong lifestyle for a baby."
Rarely having seen soul-of-reason Myrtle explode in anger, Kendall was unprepared when the older woman did just that. "Why, those two presumptuous young scamps—!" Myrtle pounded the table in emphasis, making Kendall jump.
"I haven't even told you the worst part of it, Myrtle! They're filing for custody of Miranda. It was supposed to only be temporary, but now…there's no way they'll leave it like that. They're going to go for the whole enchilada."
Myrtle's reaction continued to remind Kendall of an elderly but still very fierce mother lion. "Those two selfish young scalawags deserve to be horse-whipped for putting you through this, Kendall! Why, you're Miranda's blood relative! They can't just take her away from you without a by-your-leave! Surely there must be something you can do to stop them?"
"I don't know," Kendall said doubtfully. "Greenlee is related to Miranda too, don't forget, Myrtle. And I went to see Livia Cudahy before I came here. She made it sound like I'm really going to be fighting an uphill battle."
"Kendall, for what it's worth, I'll be battling with you—I'll be right behind you, pushing you uphill just as hard as these two old arms can push," Myrtle vowed loyally.
"That's worth a lot, Myrtle. Now at least I don't feel so hopeless and alone. But everything else has turned to shit, so I'm not very optimistic. If this goes to court, Livia made it sound like I'll be crucified."
Even Myrtle had no answer for that. She was as well aware of Kendall's troubled history as anyone in town. The two women sat together glumly until the coffee ran out, neither of them capable of cheering the other up, neither of them capable of being cheered. At last Myrtle said, " Kendall honey, I don't mean to distress you by asking this, but you said you were on better terms with Zach, so I will. What does he have to say about this?"
"Do you know I haven't even told him about it? So he probably doesn't know. Zach was pretty whipped when I saw him last night, Myrtle. Ethan was released by the coroner's office or whatever it is and Zach went out west to get Ethan's—ashes—and was just getting home."
A horrified expression froze Myrtle's features, and she reached for Kendall's hand again. "Oh, darlin', I'm so sorry!"
"Be sorry for Zach, Myrtle, not me," said Kendall a little stiffly. "I don't want to get into it now but I found out Ethan was playing me. And the hits just keep right on coming."
"I won't say a word then until you're ready to talk about it, honey. Now back to what I was about to say about our friend Zach—" With the perfect timing that usually occurs only in fiction, Myrtle's words were interrupted by a knock at the front door.
"I don't care who it is, Myrtle!" Kendall called frantically from the kitchen after Myrtle left the room to greet the caller. "I don't want to see anybody so please, I'm not here, you haven't seen me, and you don't know where I am!"
Myrtle's voice called from the living room. "It's all right, Kendall honey. Why don't you come on out here now? We'll be more comfortable."
Kendall was stunned to see Zach with Myrtle, who was all of a sudden beaming.
"Mr. Zach Slater, your ears must be burning. We were just talking about you," Myrtle was informing him, with a flirtatious twinkle in her eye that he always seemed to evoke.
"What are you doing here, Zach?" A puzzled Kendall asked and then, in more trepidation, "Did something else happen?"
"No," he said quickly. "I dropped by to see how Myrtle was." Turning back to Myrtle, he added with the tiniest twinkle of his own, "I trust you were saying only good things."
"Yes, we were," Myrtle said firmly. "Please sit down, Zach, and you too, Kendall. Zach, Kendall was telling me about Ethan. I can't tell you how very sorry I am."
Obeying Myrtle's order couched as an invitation, Zach replied quietly, "Thank you, Myrtle."
"If you're planning to hold a memorial service for the poor boy, I'd be honored to come."
"Then I'd be honored to have you, Myrtle. Last night Kendall and I talked briefly about arranging a very small, private ceremony for Ethan. I will let you know when the details are complete."
"I hope you will, Zach, and I hope you were planning to stay for a little while now. Kendall has something else she needs to discuss with you, don't you, Kendall? Something you couldn't talk about last night."
The awkwardness Kendall still expected to experience in Zach's company hadn't yet materialized—a small blessing for which she neglected to feel grateful in the overall scheme of things. But Kendall couldn't even work up any indignation about Myrtle admitting Zach despite her express wishes to avoid any visitors. She couldn't seem to work up her voice, either.
"What is it, Kendall?" Zach asked her directly.
Kendall was still trying to figure out how, even though their most recent encounter prior to last night's—which circumstances had intervened in to place on neutral footing—had ended so disastrously, Zach didn't seem to count as someone to be avoided.
"Ryan and Greenlee came to see me yesterday, with Miranda. I said I wanted Miranda to stay with me because Myrtle and I had gotten my condo all ready for her. They said it didn't matter because they decided they were filing for custody and then they took Miranda home with them."
Was it because there was not a trace of arrogance in Zach's manner that she'd let down every single one of her defenses? Kendall wondered. Was it because he sat there looking at her as if he for once recognized her as a fellow human being? But no, that latter wasn't quite true. This was the way he'd looked at her last night, too. And maybe at other times as well, if she was really going to be fair about it.
"That doesn't come as a surprise," Zach said rather expressionlessly. "Does it?"
"But it's terrible, Zach, that Bianca's daughter isn't already with Kendall!" Myrtle spoke up. "Kendall is Miranda's closest relative, you know, except as I was about to remind Kendall before you arrived, for you. Isn't there something you can do, Zach honey?"
Kendall objected, "Myrtle—Zach has enough problems already, I mean with Ethan, to worry about my problems."
"Well, unfortunately, that problem is now solved." Zach's voice sounded distant.
Nothing was going to deter Myrtle. "I would expect that tobe the veryreason you would help Kendall, Zach. I know you loved Bianca as much as I did. But there wasn't much love lost between Bianca and Greenlee, and she'd never allow Greenlee to raise her daughter if there was any other alternative. Why, she'd have rather had you—" And then Myrtle seemed to realize she'd said too much after all.
Myrtle's lapse didn't appear to bother Zach. "I did love and admire Bianca very much and the feeling wasn't mutual," he said frankly.
"Because you loved Bianca then, Zach, and because you are Miranda's uncle, you must help Kendall in this. Why, I believe you're the only one really who can help her now," Myrtle insisted.
"Please, Myrtle," Kendall said suddenly. "Don't put Zach on the spot." Stop badgering him, Myrtle, she wanted to say. He's in no better shape than I am, can't you see that? I know you mean well and I love you for it but….
"Kendall, honey, that's not what I'm doing!" Myrtle sounded hurt.
Reaching over to her, Zach touched Myrtle's hand. "I know that, Myrtle. Perhaps Kendall isn't eager for my help."
"Why, that's silly, Zach. Of course she is!" Myrtle disagreed.
"I haven't heard her ask for it again, but in case it's necessary I will repeat what I've already told Kendall, and the custody issue doesn't change this. I will fully support what Bianca would have wanted. Unless, Kendall, you feel my help would be counterproductive—?" Zach addressed her again.
For the first time in their acquaintance, and in her own heightened state of vulnerability, Kendall was sensitive to an unfamiliar undercurrent of vulnerability in Zach's voice, subtle though it was. Enlightenment hit her like a sledgehammer. Oh my god, he's afraid I'll turn down his help because of everything that's happened between us, she realized in confusion. And I'm afraid to turn to him now because…because…oh, shit, I don't even know why! Because—because that dream thing was my fault? Kendall gulped.
Even though Myrtle sat closer to her than Zach did, Kendall felt as though Zach was the only other person in the room when she said, "That's not how I feel at all, Zach, and of course it's not necessary to repeat what you said before about supporting Bianca's wishes."
"There now, what did I tell you, Zach honey?" Myrtle asked, sounding pleased.
"But look, I took a real beating from Greenlee and Ryan yesterday and I'll be taking an even bigger one when I file custody," Kendall continued, again focusing solely on Zach. "So I'm probably expecting too much—but maybe I actually want you to actually think I'm the better choice for Miranda over them—not just that you know it's what Bianca would have wanted."
Where did that come from? Instantly regretting making such a blatantly needy statement, to Zach no less—since when did she care what he thought?—Kendall stood, catching Myrtle and even Zach off-guard. "I, um, I have to go now. Myrtle, thanks for everything—for everything you're doing, I love you for it. And Zach, I–I guess I'll see you later."
Before either one of them had the chance to respond to her abrupt announcement, Kendall grabbed her purse and fled.