Chapter Thirty-Two
"Kendall, wake up. We're here."
Coming to with a lurch, Kendall snapped to attention. Halfway into the trip, somewhere around the Baltimore Beltway she had stopped fighting her fatigue and finally dozed off. Road trips on interstates were by their very nature boring anyway, and Zach was playing a classical music CD that was lulling. Between the two, Kendall didn't stand a chance, especially since the closer they got to Baltimore the heavier traffic became and Zach concentrated on driving. She vaguely remembered him announcing when they'd crossed the Potomac River into Virginia, and then she'd fallen right back asleep.
Now they were actually in Alexandria, and the door on her side of the SUV was being opened by a valet, who then stood back waiting for her to let him assist her. Behind the valet, Kendall saw a red brick Federal-style building with black shutters at the windows and a graceful fan-lighted front door, with curved staircases leading up to an white columned portico, like something out of the early 1800's. She began to step from the Range Rover, but before the valet could take her arm Zach was there instead, acting the part of her devoted fiancé, helping her down.
Kendall didn't have to act as she held onto him and tried to get her bearings. She was truly impressed with the look of the lovely inn Zach had chosen on such short noticed, grateful she wasn't required to lift a finger as Zach and the doorman saw to their bags, pleased to be shown so quickly to her room, adjoining Zach's room, where check-in was accomplished with a minimum of fuss. Both rooms were beautifully and comfortably furnished in antique reproductions, reinforcing the impression that one had stepped back in time.
In contrast, Kendall felt hurtled forward…hurtled forward to a strange new world she wasn't ready to live in yet, a world from which Bianca and Erica had been erased, a world where friends suddenly became enemies, where enemies suddenly became…friends. Or even husband and wife. God, this was awkward. What ever made her think this was a feasible plan—marrying Zach Slater? Even for Miranda's sake, it wasn't just impulsive, it was crazy, the kind of thing you came up with in the middle of the night when you couldn't sleep, when anything seemed possible to your sleep-deprived mind, not in the harsh light of day, Kane woman or no Kane woman.
It didn't help that Zach seemed to be reading her mind. He looked up from fiddling with the fireplace and asked, "Having second thoughts?"
"No," Kendall said stoutly. "But after sleeping in the car half the way, I must look a fright, so you probably are."
"Not at all. This is one of the top hotels in the country. Four-star, I believe."
"I wasn't talking about the ho—" Then she caught the wry expression on his face and decided to do what she normally did, which was say what she was thinking. "There's no point in pretending this isn't pretty awkward, is there, Zach? We both know it is."
"Oh, I've been in far more awkward situations than this," he replied nonchalantly.
"Really? Such as?" she challenged.
"Is it necessary to enumerate them? You were present at some of the more recent ones. Such as Murder Mystery Night at the Seasons East. Or when I announced to half of Pine Valley that my real name was Alexander Cambias, Jr. Or when I—"
"Ha! You think that's bad? Try being on trial for murder and having a pregnancy pillow strapped on under your dress to make the jury believe you're a grieving widow, and your so-called best friend storms the witness stand and rips your dress open."
"I read about it," Zach said quietly.
It was his brother you were on trial for murdering, idiot! "Oh my god, me and my big mouth strike again with another unbeatable conversation ender." Kendall said ruefully, making a pretense of smoothing her hair. "I guess I'd better go to my room and freshen up while I still have a room."
But she didn't leave, and Zach said, "You know what, Kendall, you've never spared my feelings, do don't start now. I wouldn't recognize you if you started now."
Kendall's mind traveled back to that awful night, not so long in the past, when she'd waylaid Zach by his door and accused him of wiping out her family and his own son. Events had moved so rapidly since then, with the catalyst of Miranda changing everything. She'd not only been forced to admit she was wrong about Zach's culpability there, she'd uncovered evidence of Ethan's betrayal. Never once had Zach told her to go fuck herself, as she deserved…instead he was doing everything he could to help her. Go figure.
The words needed to be said. "When you put it like that—I'm not sure I get why you're doing this, Zach. I mean, I get that you loved Bianca, but you never bargained for being stuck with me in what amounts to a restructuring of your whole life."
"It's a gamble," Zach said simply. "I like to gamble. And when I gamble, I like to win—so if I'm going to play, I play to win."
"So this is just play for you?"
"I wouldn't say that."
"Mr. Mysterious strikes again, but whatever you mean me to think, you're still being so—so generous. It's like I don't even recognize you, and that's partly what I meant by things being awkward. We're in this really weird situation, we both know it's weird, but I'm the only one admitting it. I mean, for instance, when was the last time you took a woman to a hotel and took separate rooms, Zach?" Again, Kendall was aghast by the unruly words leaving her mouth of their own volition.
His head cocked to the side and his eyes, surprisingly, twinkled. "I didn't say this wasn't a novel situation, Kendall. The answer to your question is 'never.' But I've never had to prove my fiancée was a respectable woman before, either."
"Oh, please, novel?—try impossible. 'Respectable' and 'Kendall' are mutually exclusive terms." Kendall was as honest as she could be. "Even you can't turn back the clock, but—thanks for helping me try to move forward, Zach. I appreciate it more than you could possibly know."
Move forward? No, the motion was still called hurtling, and the hurtling sensation was becoming stronger all the time.
As if determined to refute her description of him as generous, Zach replied, "As you said, Kendall, I loved Bianca. I love Miranda; she's my niece too. Tell me, what do you think my chances of seeing her are once the Laverys have her under lock and key? This charade is for my benefit as much as yours."
"Fair enough, Zach. So is that why this—charade—was my idea, but you're the one handing out the pep talks?"
Continuing to regard Kendall steadily, he said, "You said you had no second thoughts about going through with this charade, Kendall. I thought I was hearing third ones—and fourth ones."
"All brides get the jitters. Even when it's a fake bride and a fake wedding." Kendall tried to sound sanguine.
"So that's all it is, Kendall—fake bridal jitters?"
"What's with this third degree, Zach?" she asked a bit defensively. "I'm trying to be honest with you about how I feel. But all I keep hearing from you is what you wouldn't say, not what you would say." Why am I pushing this? Kendall asked herself. I think he's actually on my side. The last thing I need to do now is piss him off now.
But Zach didn't seem to take offense. "Don't you think I'm honest with you, Kendall?"
"It's not a matter of honesty, Zach. It's your making me feel I can only get to a certain place before I hit a wall. Sometimes it's a very"—she indicated the room—"poshly upholstered wall and sometimes it's just a plain brick one, but the results of hitting them are exactly the same."
"And you thought I was perceptive." His mouth twisted. "Think about it, Kendall. Don't you think a wall serves a dual purpose? Not only as protection from others, but as protection for others?" As he spoke, Zach's voice grew deeper.
Kendall found herself shivering at this glimpse of the lonely man behind the wall she'd spoken of. "I really wouldn't know, Zach. It's probably a good skill to have, but I don't even have a clue how to put up a wall. And whenever I run into someone else's, I guess I just keep trying until I either get through it, over it, or around it somehow."
"And do you never regret that, Kendall?"
"Regret what—not putting up a wall, or being black-and-blue all the time?"
"The black-and-blue."
"Well…," Kendall hesitated. "Sometimes, I guess, but you of all people know my head is pretty hard, and I'd rather be sorry I did something than sorry I didn't do it."
"Does that include marrying me? Even though it's a sham?"
"Maybe I'm the one who should be asking if you're having second thoughts, Zach," Kendall said softly. "I did ask you to marry me, not the other way around."
"I said 'yes'—and I meant 'yes.' If we are going to get married," said Zach, speaking suddenly in a casual, matter-of-fact tone, "some things must be understood, one of them being that I don't go back on my word."
"Okay, I get that too. And I'm glad because," Kendall's voice was the one that lowered now, "if you didn't say 'yes' and mean it, I wouldn't have a prayer of getting Miranda, and I don't think I could handle that. It's only because of you I'm not locked up behind some monster brick walls even bigger and stronger than yours, with a great big Oakhaven Sanitarium sign plastered over them."
"Don't sell yourself short, Kendall. You're rather the irresistible force."
"Well, in that case it's a damn good thing you weren't the immovable object for once. If you were…." Kendall shuddered delicately. "I really wouldn't have a chance."
"In the end it doesn't matter how differently we operate, or how we feel about this marriage or each other. We work together on this, Kendall, because we have the same goal. Focus on that, forget everything else, and you—we—will succeed in getting it."
Climbing to her feet from the end of the four-poster bed on which she'd been lounging and going toward the open connecting door between their rooms, Kendall tried to appear reassured. "Damn right we will, Zach," she said coolly. "Now I'm going to my room and dress for dinner. I've just decided you're taking me out to eat. Your black-and-blue fiancée may not be respectable, but she is starving."
"Kendall, wait. Before we go out—"
She turned back questioningly.
"One more thing before you dress—"
As Kendall watched in surprise, Zach fumbled for something in his trouser pocket.
After all his lofty enigmatic talk, it was the last thing she would have expected from him but then, Zach was a male animal—a very male one, and in her experience male animals were all more alike than different. It was the eve of their wedding and, fake or not, she'd not even thought to issue any conditions relative to its consummation. So when Zach's fingers emerged wrapped around a small red leather box, rather than the more familiar object she'd assumed they would be holding, Kendall blurted, "Oh, my god, Zach, what on earth is that? I've never seen one like—it doesn't look like a—I mean, it's not what I thought you were going for—I mean, never mind."
Zach looked at her in bemusement, then at the box in his hand, then back at her again. "Does that translate into English, Kendall?"
Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, she said, "It did. But you don't need to know how."
"If we're to present a united front, I need to learn Kendallspeak."
"Ha, like you'd ever teach me Zachspeak? But okay, I guess I'm even more rattled than I thought," she swallowed. "And even less respectable, because I swear to god, Zach, I thought you were pulling a condom out of your pocket."
To her enormous relief Zach not only laughed, his laugh was completely unfettered. "First things first, Kendall, don't you think? This is a different sort of ring. Now please come here and give me your hand. The left one."
As she saw the box he held more close-up, Kendall recognized its origin, even though she'd never owned a piece of jewelry of such quality or expense. "Is that for real?" she gasped.
"What do you think?" Zach asked levelly.
"Look, I'm not insulting you. I just never expected—" Anything like this from you, she finished the rather tactless statement in her mind, staring at him while temporarily speechless.
"Neither did I, Kendall. But here we are. Now hold out your hand."
"But I—you don't have to—" While Kendall weakly protested, torn between a sudden, surprising eagerness to possess a ring from Zach, and then confusion at her reaction, Zach was firmly raising her left hand from her side and smoothly slipping the bedazzling ring over its third finger. Her gaze followed his to her hand.
The ring was in the style of an eternity band, with numerous—she was too overwhelmed to count them—round, sparkling white diamonds each individually set in platinum, encircling her finger. Any one of the stones would have made a fine solitaire, but in this setting they were only lesser gems, flanking and dominated by what could only be called an eye-popping—well over two carats, Kendall was sure—central round gem, its icy facets reflecting the room's light like a tiny, brilliant white star.
"What a beauty," Kendall breathed. "It's gorgeous, Zach. I love it. And Cartier! This is supposed to be my party—but you're doing all the work. This is one hell of a party favor. How did you manage it so fast?"
Although he shrugged negligently, Zach seemed pleased. "Don't tell me you've never noticed the Cartier shop in my casino lobby."
"Of course I have. But first this beautiful inn, and now this…." She flexed her hand, admiring the effect of the flashing gems. "Zach, who knew you had such excellent taste?"
"I'm full of surprises," he agreed dryly.
"You've surprised me. But oh, I do so love my ring. And I'm telling you now, Zach, it's never coming off my finger. So don't think you're ever getting it back," she added warningly.
Watching her face, Zach asked, "Why would I want your bauble back? I've no one else to give it to—and I think we can both agree it's not my style."
"Oh, what was that, Zach? Did the great stone face Zach Slater just crack a little joke at his own expense, or am I hearing things?" Kendall heard her own self tease him.
But, almost businesslike, Zach went on, "Besides, the manager at the Cartier boutique would have a stroke if I returned it. The ring is yours to keep, Kendall."
"Well, then, I don't really know what else to say, except—well, thank you." Merely voicing her appreciation of so magnificent a gift seemed woefully adequate. Impetuously, Kendall lifted her face to give Zach a light kiss of gratitude on the cheek just as he was moving nearer. The cold fire emitted by the hard diamonds on her hand was no match for the supple warmth of his skin when he turned his face toward hers—deliberately?—or perhaps accidentally, the result was the same: She found her lips against his, rather than against the much rougher skin of his cheek.
Her surroundings, the ring, even the reason for them all, were forgotten by Kendall in the physical exhilaration that invaded her at that moment of intimate contact. Without thinking she let her arms wind around Zach's neck, only to realize that his arms were already enfolding her into an almost crushing embrace, his lips seeking more from hers. "Mmm." Kendall melted against him with a throaty sigh.
With their bodies and their mouths pressing together so tightly, Kendall—not loath to experience what it might lead to—was obliged to part her lips for more air. When Zach emulated her, the now open-mouthed kiss progressed quickly, almost helplessly, from tentative to daring. Like the eruption of a flash fire in the wild, it was as if their all-too-primed senses, first numbed by sorrow, then unnaturally banked beneath layers of caution and decorum native to neither of them, spontaneously ignited in this heady exchange of oxygen and caresses. Zach traced his hand upward along Kendall's spine to the base of her skull, lightly clasping it in place while his mouth worked its magic on hers.
Eventually, though, they were required to catch their breaths, in more ways than that one. Slowly releasing Zach's lips from hers, Kendall waited for her racing pulse to slow down. But things weren't going to be that simple. He was still holding her, looking as dazed as she felt. It dazed her even more, aroused her even more, to know that she'd had the same effect on Zach that he'd had on her.
I want you, she thought in some wonder. Maybe it's crazy, but I do.
"Where do we go from here, Kendall?" Zach whispered hoarsely, brushing a loose tendril of her hair back from her flushed face. "It's your party. Tell me what you want."
Kendall swallowed. Could Zach read her mind? Or was he, once again, giving her a choice? But…things really were going to be simple after all. Because she didn't have a choice. They had come this far already. It was too late to turn back now. "If you don't finish making love to me this time, Zach, I'm going to explode," she admitted bluntly. "Don't make me beg."
In wordless response, Zach pulled her back to him. His passionate, powerful kisses left Kendall nearly panting with desire…and with absolutely no doubts at all of his ability to make her beg for nothing except mercy.