Chapter Thirty-Five

The test that ultimately answered the life-or-death question whether substance from your body qualified to become substance in your niece's began with the simple puncture of a hollow needle to your pulsing vein. Like fellow soldiers injured in the same battle, Kendall, Zach, Greenlee, and Ryan each emerged from the lab with a bandaged-over cotton ball in the crooks of their arms. Also like such fellow soldiers, it was necessary for those with personal differences between them to try to put those differences aside. But that was easier said than done.

Greenlee projected a rare aura of guilt, justified or not, tinged with defensiveness, and wouldn't meet Kendall's gaze, while Ryan radiated pure, unadulterated defensiveness, daring Kendall to meet his gaze instead. He wants to pick a fight me so I'll lay off Greenlee, Kendall realized. Why can't either of them get it through their heads I don't blame them for this? Oh, wait, I know. Because if the shoe were on the other foot they'd blame me. But shit. I can't even enjoy the irony that Miranda got so sick while she was with them and not me.

Zach, on the other hand, had raised his drawbridge, lowered his portcullis, and positioned archers at the window slits. Nobody was getting in, and he wasn't letting anybody out. But where Kendall once would have taken his stoical behavior as a sign of coldness and indifference, she now had a far different insight into it. The same dynamic lover who'd then calmed her by imparting his pragmatic yet self-aware philosophy of life apparently chose to save own his strength by turning to stone.

The joint trip to the lab and what became the joint trip back again were therefore accomplished largely in self-conscious—at least on Kendall's, Greenlee's and Ryan's parts—silence. Until shortly after they emerged from the elevator on the pediatric ICU floor, when Greenlee abruptly stopped short and gasped so loudly that everyone's heads automatically snapped in her direction.

"Greenlee!" Ryan exclaimed. "What is it, sweetheart, what's the matter?"

Pointing at the left hand Kendall had been idly trailing along the railing built into the elevator lobby wall, Greenlee stuttered, 'Wha—wha—what's that you're waving around on your hand?" Not content to point, Greenlee had to see it for herself. She grabbed Kendall's hand and ogled the ring up close. "This is something new, Kendall, isn't it? Because I've never seen it before and it sure isn't something I'd forget, or that you'd hide in your jewelry box—no, you'd flaunt a rock like this! Or should I say rocks, oh my god, Ryan, look at all these diamonds! This has even more carats than my engagement ring."

Nonplussed, Kendall snatched her hand back. "Gee, Greenlee, I'm so glad you like my ring." Somehow this time and place wasn't quite the setting Kendall had envisioned for sharing the news.

"Come on, Kendall, we both know that isn't just a regular old ring. Will you please explain to me why you're wearing an engagement ring?

"That's a very good question. What are you up to, Kendall?" Ryan asked suspiciously. "Because my instincts tell me you are up to something, and my instincts are never wrong. I think we deserve to know what it is. Where did you get this ring?"

Kendall's frayed nerves snapped the rest of the way. "And if I don't break under interrogation, Ryan, what are you going to do? Have me banned from the hospital?"

Zach suddenly weighed in, breaking his silence and temporarily silencing them all. "We'll all be banned unless we take this somewhere else."

"It's a simple question, Slater," Ryan finally sputtered in a much lower tone of voice.

"Then I'll give you a simple answer, Lavery. Kendall got the ring from me."

Ryan gaped, and Greenlee uttered another gasp, followed by, "What did you say?"

All at once Kendall felt much more secure. "It's true, Greenlee. Zach and I are engaged and we're getting married."

"Is this a joke? Since when?" the other girl hissed.

"What kind of stunt are you trying to pull, Slater?" Ryan began, his voice beginning to rise again.

Zach looked toward Kendall. "It's no stunt. Kendall and I are very much together."

"Since when?" Greenlee repeated. "I'll grant you I'm not firing on cylinders at the moment but all that's all the more reason I haven't got enough torque to swing into any alternate universe where Kendall would ever marry you."

"That was then, Greenlee. This is now." Kendall stepped closer to Zach, leaned against him, and extended her arm around his waist. It was partially for show…yet she instantly realized it was not all for show, either. It was such a relief to have somebody to lean on that she felt almost weak in the knees when he took his cue and casually draped an arm around her shoulders, drawing her closer into the circle of his protection. Kendall looked up at him lovingly, a look that Zach returned.

The act must have been convincing, for Greenlee appeared truly stunned. Ryan, however, showed more skepticism, going from staring to glaring. "No doubt about it, Kendall —you're up to something and somehow you've sweet-talked Slater into going along. Or more likely he's using you. Those are the only ways I buy this."

Zach cocked his head. "Not asking you to buy a thing, Lavery."

"Well, a wedding gift might be nice," Kendall put in, and was rewarded with an increase of warm pressure around her shoulders. "Now all I want is to get back to Miranda. Joe must wonder what's happened to us."

Kendall half-expected Ryan to forbid her and Zach from going any farther, but he merely glowered some more. It was Greenlee who announced as if she expected an argument, "Kendall, you can go back in and say good-night to her. Zach, you can, too. But I've already planned to spend the night with her, and that's that. It's something I have to do."

"Fair enough," Zach replied evenly, before Kendall could object. "But you know, Greenlee, this is only the first of many nights to come. Eventually you'll need some sleep of your own, and then one of us will spell you."

This immediate acquiescence to her announcement seemed to lower Greenlee's resistance enough to make her consider Zach's suggestion a reasonable one. "Then you guys work something out with Ryan. But I'm taking the first watch." Turning away from them, she began marching toward the pediatric ICU waiting area.

A short while later, when Kendall went in again to say good-night to her, Miranda was still as immobile and unreal as a virtual baby doll replica of herself. Seeing her like that hurt so much that Kendall had to stifle a sob. She could only hope that Miranda could sense on some innate level that the person closest in life to her mother stood there beside her crib, vowing to do everything in her power—and to make the hospital do everything in its—to make this all go away before long. Then, with a softly blown kiss and a whispered, "I love you, Miranda," Kendall left so that Zach come in for his own time alone with Miranda before Greenlee took over again.

But even though they couldn't spend the rest of the night in Miranda's room, there was no question of them leaving the hospital yet. In implicit agreement, Kendall and Zach camped out in the waiting area with Ryan. Joe Martin had left the hospital, but before leaving he introduced them to the doctor who would remain on call, Dr. Beech. There was nothing more to do but ease themselves into the institutional chairs and try to pass the time until there was any change in Miranda's condition…praying, if they could, for a change for the better, or simply waiting, if they couldn't. Dozing was an equally involuntary action that Ryan soon availed himself of again, and Kendall found herself envying him. She would have given anything for such blessed unconsciousness.

And then at last unconsciousness was hers, as the need of her fatigued body for sleep conquered her overly active mind.

"Kendall! Kendall, wake up! We need to talk," a sweet high-pitched voice said in her eye.

Kendall's eyes blinked open and a chill ran through her. "Bianca? Oh, my god, is it really you? They said you were missing! Where have you been?"

Bianca smiled mysteriously. "Oh—come on, Kendall, you know I can't tell you that. But tell me where Miranda is. Why isn't she with you like she's supposed to be?"

Kendall shifted uncomfortably. "It wasn't up to me, Bianca. The court took her away from me. I tried to keep her but they said I wasn't good enough."

Bianca's smile shrank. "Well, that's because I wasn't here to fix things. But still, Kendall, don't you think you could have done a better job? I did all the hard work in having Miranda. You only had to hold on to her."

"I'm telling you, Bianca, I tried, I really did. I told everybody you wanted me to have Miranda but it didn't make any difference. I even wore a pillow under my clothes to court so they'd think I was a good mother."

"I thought you were good at pretending, Kendall."

"But Greenlee ran up to the stand where I was testifying and yanked my dress open. Everybody could see I was naked underneath so I wasn't a fit mother."

"Oh, Kendall, please!" Bianca's laugher tinkled like tiny bells. "We're all naked under our clothes. Don't tell me Greenlee got away with that again. But don't worry, I'll speak to her father and he'll set her straight."

Kendall began to feel anxious. "No, Bianca, don't do that—you see, I had to let Greenlee do that to me in front of everybody—I couldn't hurt her feelings—" Then Kendall blinked again. "Mother?" Where Bianca was standing now stood Erica in her place.

Erica spoke more sadly than Bianca had. "We're counting on you, Kendall. Miranda is the last Kane woman. You have to hang on to her. You have to do a better job."

"Mother, I just told Bianca, I'm doing the best I can," Kendall pleaded. "I've never had a baby before and I'm scared. I don't know what to do. But I asked Zach Slater to help me."

"Zach Slater?" Now Erica was laughing too. "Really, Kendall. Whatever makes you think I could possibly approve of that? Zach Slater is not a nice man. He doesn't know the first thing about babies."

Eagerly, Kendall said, "Yes, he does, too, Mother. He's showing me how to feed them, and change them, and play with them. We're going to open a daycare center at the casino. It's going to be called the Miranda Center."

Erica threw up her hands in displeasure. "Don't be ridiculous, Kendall. Miranda's sick. Don't you take her to the casino. You need to leave her in the hospital. Now I want you to promise me you'll get that ring appraised. I want to know exactly how much it's worth."

"My ring?" Kendall's ring sparkled as brightly as a flame captive under glass. She was so proud of it. "Mother, please, did you see my ring? Can't you tell it's worth a lot?"

"You bitch, Kendall," J.R. said angrily. "Get rid of that thing. You're supposed to marry me. I'll ruin everything for you if you don't."

Kendall ignored J.R. "Mother, where is Jack? I need a lawyer."

"You don't need a lawyer. You need to wake up, Kendall. Wake up, Kendall honey, you're dreaming."

"Kendall, wake up. Dr. Martin is here."

Crossing the divide between sleep and awake was not quite instantaneous, like having a bandage ripped from a wound and having a split second before feeling the pain. Kendall started forward, to find Zach crouched beside her chair and Joe Martin standing in front of them. It took her a moment to bring them into focus and as soon as she did her heart lurched in her chest. "Miranda?"

"It's all right, Kendall. I'll tell you what I just told Mr. Slater. Miranda held her own through the night. Her temperature has come down a degree this morning and we're hoping that means she's beginning to respond to the antibiotics."

Kendall had almost forgotten how to react to good news, not that this was anything but extremely qualified good news. "Oh…oh, it's morning already? What time is it?"

"It's a little after eight o'clock," Joe told her. "Would you like to go in and say good morning to Miranda, Kendall? Things are quiet in there at the moment."

"Yes, of course I want to see Miranda! But what about Greenlee? Isn't she still in there?"

"No. I told Greenlee she needed to take a break. She and Ryan just went to the cafeteria for some breakfast."

Zach said, "I was just in with Miranda. Now it's your turn, Kendall."

It seemed the absence of Greenlee was to be taken advantage of. Still, though, there was no discernible change in Miranda to Kendall's eyes when she was with her niece again. "I had a dream about your mommy," Kendall said softly. But it was all hazy now; she could only remember seeing Bianca's face. "You know she loves you very much, don't you? And so do I. We know it's no fun being stuck in here with all these scary machines. But when you're better, we'll go to the playground—we'll go on the swings and eat ice cream cones and we won't breathe a word to Greenlee, okay? Just our little secret."

But between the baby's inability to respond and nurses bustling in and out, achieving any real sense of connection to Miranda was impossible for Kendall. Being in the same room with her would have to suffice. And even that not for long, as less then twenty minutes later, Greenlee returned. It was clear from her dark-circled eyes and drawn face that she was severely dragging.

"You really ought to go home and get some rest, Greenlee," Kendall told her softly on her way out. "Look at you, you're dead on your feet. It won't help Miranda any if you pass out."

"Yeah? Well, you look like you missed out on some beauty sleep yourself," Greenlee retorted. For a few moments they were soldiers on the same side again. "But I already told you I'm not leaving."

"Look, I'll make a deal with you, Greenlee. I already slept a little in the waiting room overnight, but I still feel groggy. I'm going home to shower and change and get something to eat and maybe take a little nap. Then I'll come back and stay with Miranda, while you go home and do the same thing. You must be feeling pretty grungy by now."

"But—"

"No 'buts,' Greenlee," Kendall said firmly. "I know he'd never admit it to me, but I'm sure Ryan would agree with me. And besides, Joe said Miranda's doing a little better and let's face it, that's not because you had anything to do with it."

"But I'm sure Miranda knew I was here—"

"I'm sure she did, too. But will it help Miranda to know you're here but totally exhausted? Come on, if you don't get some rest you're going to start hallucinating."

Greenlee frowned. "Why are you being this nice to me, Kendall?"

"Nice? You think this is being nice, Greenlee?" Kendall scoffed.

"Well…yes. Maybe I'm already hallucinating."

Kendall persisted. "So—deal?"

"Okay, okay…Ryan said pretty much the same thing. Deal," Greenlee sighed.

"What do you know, for once Ryan and I actually agree on something. I'm going now to find Zach to take me home. But we'll be back later. If anything happens before then, anything at all, promise you'll call me?"

Greenlee nodded. "Okay, Kendall. You win."

"It doesn't have to be a contest, you know, Greenlee," Kendall said softly. "It really doesn't."