Chapter Thirty-Seven
It should have called for guilt and shame. More guilt and shame even than had overwhelmed Kendall following her first intimate incident with Zach, for with Miranda in the hospital events had become even bleaker than they already were. And although Miranda seemed to be improving, she could always take a turn for the worse. But we're heading right back to the hospital after we get rid of J.R., Kendall rationalized with the area of her brain still producing coherent thoughts. Greenlee wouldn't let me take over until after that anyway and if anything happens she'll call.
Then Zach raised his head and looked beyond her into the interior of the bedroom. She sensed something interfering with his mood as well. "Zach, what is it?"
"Kendall, are you sure there is no ghost here for you?" he asked carefully.
"No." Her voice was soft, but staunch. "Absolutely none for me. I see only you, Zach. But are you saying there is one for you?" Her hand crept up to his face and brushed his cheek.
He exhaled slowly. "Then, no, I'm not saying that. I see only you, too." He drew her hand to his lips and pressed them against her palm.
So Kendall deliberately closed her mind to everything she didn't want to see. For one thing, there wasn't time enough for it now during this all-too-finite break between the battles they were waging on what felt like all fronts. For another, satisfying the steadily growing hunger Zach aroused in her was too vital to her own continuing survival as an intact, functioning organism. Especially when he lifted her up in his arms and carried her the short distance to the bed. Laying her upon it, he tumbled down beside her, and then she was immediately leaning over him, kissing him and enjoying the sturdy feel of him beneath her.
Except for one thing…. "Zach, you still have your shirt on."
He looked down, not moving otherwise. "Hmm, so I do. Pants too. And shoes."
"Are you planning to just lie there?" Kendall complained teasingly, hooking a finger in the neck of his shirt. "Come on, you've got too many clothes on."
"I'm feeling rather lazy. Perhaps you could—?"
"Zach! Okay, but I can't do this with you lying down. You need to sit up."
Sighing, he raised himself, and her fingers went deftly to work on his shirt buttons, quickly peeling the gray shirt from his muscular shoulders until he was bare to the waist. Unable to resist, Kendall trailed her fingers lightly over his firm, smooth chest. "I have a confession, Zach."
"Do I want to hear this, Kendall?"
"I hope so, or I wouldn't be admitting it. You know that time I watched you working out? I was a little smitten even then."
He chuckled. "A little? Your eyes were burning holes though me."
"Please give me some credit, Zach. I was more subtle than that. Way more subtle. Wasn't I?"
"Uh-huh, way more. Kendall…." Zach's voice took on a huskier tone as she continued to caress him.
"Hmm?"
"You needn't be subtle now. And it's my turn to complain that you're wearing too much." He reached for the wide straps of her dress, but appeared flummoxed by how to deal with them without shredding the dress. "What is the password to this?"
Obligingly, Kendall presented her back to him, peeking over her shoulder. "That long metal thing down the middle? You should recognize it. It's known as a zipper."
"Ah."
Large hands fumbled at her back followed by a current of cool air as the two sides of the dress fell open. More cool air rushed in after it as he slid the straps down her arms.
Kendall rose to her feet with her back still to him and allowed gravity, lazily assisted by Zach, to slide the material over her hips. The maneuver left her dress in a heap on the floor and Kendall herself almost completely unclothed save for the very miniscule lace panties she wore.
The dainty scrap didn't stand a chance when Zach growled, "Come here."
Was there anything that could make you feel giddier?—there certainly wasn't for Kendall at that instant. Her conscience attempted another reproach for such blatant self-indulgence, but mere pangs of conscience couldn't begin to compete with the cravings she felt toward this man, not when he seemed so very ready—and was equally unrepentant about it—to satisfy them.
"Now you again," she whispered, reaching for Zach's belt. But impatience was making her clumsy, so it took both of them to remove his trousers and with them his boxers and footwear. Now there was nothing between them but skin.
Zach eased her back down to the bed with him, where they sat facing each other. When his hands moved toward her Kendall dreamily anticipated them caressing her as hers had caressed him, but instead they reached behind her, where she felt her hair tugging. She realized Zach was untying the length of blue ribbon still restraining her tousled curls, which sprang free and wild.
Waiting expectantly to see what next he would do, Kendall was surprised when Zach pulled the ribbon taut against the base of her skull, using it to incline her head toward his. She felt another rush of air tickle her back as it then fluttered to the bed, and Zach's two hands came forward to cup her jaw. He guided it the rest of the way to where his mouth awaited hers. With an uneven inhalation Kendall's lips parted against his.
They kissed long and lingeringly and almost wonderingly at their good fortune in discovering this newfound oasis amid the terrible landscape surrounding them. Again, Kendall disregarded any risk, focusing all her attention on the more imminent need. At first Zach allowed for breathing room between their bodies…but the tenor of the contact began to change when they pulled closer. With his hands roaming over her sensitive flesh, becoming more ever purposeful and precise in their meaning, her previously solid form seemed to melt into a pulsating stream…
She shifted restlessly. "Zach, um…." Slowly she drew away enough to search his face. Although not accustomed to suffering overmuch from modesty, the frank longing in his gaze saying louder than any words how much he wanted to lose himself in her, lose himself in her as fiercely as she wanted to lose—and maybe find—herself in him, nearly made Kendall blush.
"What is it, Kendall?" Zach's voice was deep and textured as cut velvet.
"About this—I want you to know—no second thoughts. About anything."
He found her left hand and squeezed it tightly. The constriction pressed the smaller diamonds studding her engagement band into the fingers on either side of her ring finger, but the stones, and the largest one of all, also dug into Zach's hand. The gesture signified a mute reminder, perhaps to them both, of the legitimacy of their status and of their entitlement to its benefits—if nothing else. Releasing her hand, Zach leaned in and followed the reminder with a kiss whose meaning was even more explicit.
From that moment on there was no turning back…they were both still dimly aware the clock was ticking. Touches became more urgent, responses more impassioned, the need for fulfillment invaded every curve and angle and cell. Desire swelled, stealing their footing from the edge where they hovered, and then flinging them together, weightless and breathless, somewhere beyond any constraint of gravity.
Unwillingly sinking back to earth, Kendall wished with all her heart she need never return, wished she could hold onto the idyllic moment forever. She couldn't and she knew it. That was the price to be paid, or at least part of the price to be paid, that this could be but a short-lived reprieve, only meant to—only meant to what, really, besides its most obvious aim?
Zach takes me somewhere I've never even been before. This is more than the most amazing sex I've ever had or a expedient arrangement. But what is it exactly?
He kissed her cheek before throwing his long legs over the side of the bed and clambering to his feet. Kendall continued to lie there while he added barefoot around to her side and stooped to become almost eye-level with her. "Hey," he said.
"I know. 'Get up, Kendall, J.R. will be here soon,'" she groaned. "And then on to the hospital."
Sitting back on his heels, Zach replied, "Fewer than forty-five minutes and counting to your next hot date."
"Ugh. Can't I procrastinate just a little longer, Zach?" she pleaded.
"Afraid not, sweetheart. Duty calls."
"Oh, all right. But I wish this didn't have to end so soon. I can't remember whose idea it was—but whoever's it was, I'm glad it was one of us."
"Mutual inspiration." Zach smiled and rose to his feet, giving Kendall an unobstructed view of his naked form. "I've a change of clothes in my bag out front. It'll be faster to grab a shower here. Tell you what, you relax while I—"
Catching him off-guard, she bounced to her feet and brushed past him. "No way, handsome! I'll race you. Last one in the shower buys dinner at the hospital cafeteria tonight." Laughing, she stumbled into the bathroom, a race she couldn't possibly have won unless Zach let her.
Even though the advantages of showering together had to take a back seat to time management, it wasn't a complete loss. Kendall emerged from the shower glowing and Zach appeared reinvigorated too. He pulled on his clothes in the bedroom while she did her hair and makeup in the bathroom. She was buttoning the jacket that matched the slim beige slacks she wore when somebody knocked at the front door.
Kendall exchanged a glance with Zach. "Shit," she swore with every ounce of vehemence she possessed. "I guess this is show time, huh?"
"Not quite. Come here." When she did, he swung her into his arms and kissed her quickly but unmistakably.
The unexpectedness of it made her heart suddenly beat faster. "Zach, what was that for?"
"Your lipstick was too perfect. Now you look duly kissed," he said offhandedly. "As a fiancée should."
"Boy, you just think of everything, Zach." Kendall's voice was full of admiration. "I feel duly kissed, too. So which one of us gets to answer the door?"
"Let me play host."
After giving Zach a patronizing appraisal upon being admitted, and with his usual attitude of having a right to anything he wanted in the room, J.R. didn't bother stating a preamble but started right in with a nasty, "So it is true. Excuse me while I hurl."
"You remember where the mop is, Junior?" Zach asked blandly.
"Cut the crap, Slater! You son of a bitch, I'll—"
"Is what true, J.R.?" Kendall asked hastily.
J.R. turned his wrath on her. "Don't play dumb with me, Kendall! The word's gone out like I'm sure you figured it would. You and Slater supposedly formalized your shacking up. You really expect me to buy that?"
Still wrapped in the warmth of Zach's last kiss, Kendall didn't find it difficult to be convincing. "Zach and I are engaged, J.R., if that's what you mean There's nothing 'supposed' about it—look." She flashed her ring.
Making a show of covering his eyes from the glare, J.R. snarled, "So there was an explosion at the glass factory, that means you're engaged? Get real, Kendall. Slater, I hate to tell you this, but you don't need to give her a ring to get her in the sack."
"Hey." Zach turned on J.R. "Watch your foul mouth. I won't allow you to speak of Kendall that way."
J.R.'s face turned red. "You won't allow, Slater? Bullshit! I'll speak of or to Kendall any way I damn please!"
"No, you won't, Junior. Not while I'm here." Zach spoke quietly, but Kendall could feel the menace he suddenly exuded from half-way across the room.
"Stop it, J.R., just stop it, please. My ring is real and so is the engagement." Kendall began to feel strangely detached.
"Like I'm really supposed to believe you, Kendall, after your infamous track record of lies, distortions, and deceptions?" J.R. gibed. "This is some kind of trick. It has to do with Miranda, doesn't it?"
"Everything has to do with Miranda right now, J.R. She's the only reason Zach and I aren't already married."
"No, Kendall, I mean, you and Slater cooked this whole thing up just so you could—"
"So we could what, Junior?" Zach challenged smoothly "I'd like to know."
Furiously, J.R. said, "Fuck off, Slater. Kendall knows what I mean. We had a deal. Which she's reneged on and which I don't plan to take lying down."
Kendall spoke up again. "You mean the deal where you screw over your best new pals Ryan and Greenlee to get custody of Miranda for me if I married you, or else you painted me as the town tramp at the custody hearing?"
"Well, duh. I was only trying to help you get custody of Miranda, Kendall. But c'mon, can I help it if the shoe fits…?" J.R. shrugged. "
"I've warned you twice, Junior. Let's make the third time the charm."
Zach advanced on J.R., but Kendall interrupted. "Wait, Zach, okay? J.R.'s always this mean when he's crossed. I want to know something first. How did you hear about us, J.R.? We've only told Ryan and Greenlee."
"Stuart told me. He's a volunteer in the children's wing at the hospital He ran into Ryan this morning. Convenient, huh?"
"And you sped right over to congratulate us." Zach used his bland tone again.
"Slater—" J.R. raised his arm, evidently thought better of it, and lowered it. "No, I'm not here to congratulate you. I'm here to say this is all total and utter bullshit."
"You're misguided as usual, Junior. You see, Kendall and I have been planning our wedding for some time. As Kendall told you, it was delayed because Miranda took sick."
"Then how come Kendall didn't say a single fucking word about her wedding plans yesterday?" J.R. demanded. "Kendall? You want to field that one?"
"Because it was none of your business, J.R., or anyone else's until we were ready to announce it. Zach and I were trying to keep it very quiet and private."
"Sure you were," J.R. sneered. "Because what perfect timing it is. I mean, such a logical time for a wedding—after the plane crash and all."
Kendall took a deep breath. "I want you to leave now, J.R. One of the reasons Zach and I came home from the hospital was to break the news to you. Now we need to get back."
"I will be happy to escort you out, Junior," Zach added, blandly again.
J.R.'s face grew even redder as he backed toward the door. "You were supposed to be marrying me, Kendall, so don't think you'll get away with marrying him. That doesn't change anything. Like I said, this isn't the end of it, not by a long shot."
"No. This is the end of it," Zach told the other man. "Sorry, Junior, but the best man won. If you'd like to pursue this further, however, I'll refer you to our lawyer."
J.R. started to argue again but suddenly clamped his lips shut. He turned around and stomped out.
"Oh, Jesus," Kendall breathed after Zach had shut the door on their visitor. "That was rough."
"He said some things others will be thinking," Zach pointed out. "Things we should be prepared for. But Kendall, you handled him well."
"Because you were here this time, Zach. Otherwise I would have completely lost it." And then she saw the two still tightly clenched fists at Zach's sides, belying the calmness of his words to J.R.—and J.R. must have seen them too. "Zach?" she said softly. "Come here."
But Kendall met him half-way. Standing on tip-toe, she brought his face down to hers and kissed him soundly.
"What was that for?" he asked when she was done—much as she had, earlier.
Feeling slightly dizzy, whether from reaction to the kiss or reaction to what preceded it, she wasn't quite certain, although she had a pretty good idea—Kendall covered with, "Oh, as long as I needed to reapply my lipstick anyway, I thought I may as well give J.R. a thrill in case he's out there spying through the window."